kid problems.
So, I've come here before and vented about Scottys kids... Well, this weekend fucking sucked.
First of all. I don't want to have things work out with Scotty and end up as the step mom that the kids hate. I understand I'm not their mother, and I would way rather be looked at as a guidance counselor type... maybe like, a big brother/big sister mentor type?
Anyway, baby mama drama is always there. This weekend, which should have been HER weekend, we essentially babysat the kids at night while she took them during the day to "spend time with them," then she would drop them off at night, they would go to sleep, and she would be back in the morning. The first day, she made them come home and clean their rooms while she played on myspace. The second day, she took them to the Burgerville in Woodland to pick up supplies for her Burgerville. Finally, on the 3rd day Irene, Scottys mom, called her and told her that we wanted to keep the kids so they could spend the night and hang out all day with their cousins, in from Las Vegas, and we wouldn't have to worry about splitting them up or having to take the kids all the way back in to town. She agreed, surprise!
Jennifer was supposed to pick them up after work last night, and after 12:30 I stopped trying to wait up to hear when she came for them. She has no respect for the kids and, SWEAR TO GOD, treats them like they're just pawns. She only wants them when they want to spend time with Scotty or his parents, and she basically tells them that they don't have to listen to him, because he's just a "sperm donor." (a discussion her and MaKenzie actually had one night, in front of him, while Jennifer was picking the kids up.) Its hard to watch, because I know it breaks his heart.
So, we spent all weekend with the kids. It wasn't bad and honestly, I DON'T MIND SPENDING TIME WITH THE KIDS. I understand how kids can be, not that long ago, I was a kid. But, last night we had the major meltdown. Not one, but two of them peed their pants on the way home. Makenzie is 8 and Cody is 6 and both of them just let it loose. Kenzie said she did it because we were taking group pictures and she didn't want to get in trouble for getting up to use the restroom in the middle. Cody said he did it because I was tickling him and it made him pee. So, I kinda feel bad for Cody kind of, because I was tickling him, but I let him go as soon as he said he had to pee. Ellie is 4 and she didn't pee her pants. I just don't get it. I don't want to come off conceited and say that they are doing it to protest me seeing their dad, and I'm not ready to give up on them, but that is the only thing that has really changed, besides Jennifer telling us she is getting married. I like to spend time with them, I like to take them places and do fun things with them, but they act out when Scotty is around. It like, idk, somethings going on and they want him to know they are not happy... possibly an engagement maybe?
So, I don't know. I know its kinda personal, and I probably wouldn't post it here, but I figure theres people here who could give some genuine good advice. I've been told that they're just acting out because they don't have any structure, every things up in the air and not much is stable in their lives, but I also hope they can maybe start to see me as a friend, someone who genuinely cares about what they want. I really want them to know they can trust me. They could talk to me whenever they want.
I know having parents who are divorced can be tough and that sometimes people who aren't your original mother/father, but start a new relationship with the actual parent can get a lot of the angsty brunt of it, but how do you get past that?
After both of the older kids wetting themselves last night, we had the discussion that they do need to start talking to someone. And they may be able to get some free assistance through their school.
I actually love the kids, and I am willing to do whatever to make sure they have a good life as well. I would love it if this and Jenn getting married didn't ruin my relationship with Scotty, but its so hard to go from being a kid, to being in charge of 3, and basically, me and him are what these kids have as far as a structured life goes. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm as adamant about being with him because I know the kids deserve better than what they've been getting with Jennifer.
oh, and have I told anyone how much I love my dog?
First of all. I don't want to have things work out with Scotty and end up as the step mom that the kids hate. I understand I'm not their mother, and I would way rather be looked at as a guidance counselor type... maybe like, a big brother/big sister mentor type?
Anyway, baby mama drama is always there. This weekend, which should have been HER weekend, we essentially babysat the kids at night while she took them during the day to "spend time with them," then she would drop them off at night, they would go to sleep, and she would be back in the morning. The first day, she made them come home and clean their rooms while she played on myspace. The second day, she took them to the Burgerville in Woodland to pick up supplies for her Burgerville. Finally, on the 3rd day Irene, Scottys mom, called her and told her that we wanted to keep the kids so they could spend the night and hang out all day with their cousins, in from Las Vegas, and we wouldn't have to worry about splitting them up or having to take the kids all the way back in to town. She agreed, surprise!
Jennifer was supposed to pick them up after work last night, and after 12:30 I stopped trying to wait up to hear when she came for them. She has no respect for the kids and, SWEAR TO GOD, treats them like they're just pawns. She only wants them when they want to spend time with Scotty or his parents, and she basically tells them that they don't have to listen to him, because he's just a "sperm donor." (a discussion her and MaKenzie actually had one night, in front of him, while Jennifer was picking the kids up.) Its hard to watch, because I know it breaks his heart.
So, we spent all weekend with the kids. It wasn't bad and honestly, I DON'T MIND SPENDING TIME WITH THE KIDS. I understand how kids can be, not that long ago, I was a kid. But, last night we had the major meltdown. Not one, but two of them peed their pants on the way home. Makenzie is 8 and Cody is 6 and both of them just let it loose. Kenzie said she did it because we were taking group pictures and she didn't want to get in trouble for getting up to use the restroom in the middle. Cody said he did it because I was tickling him and it made him pee. So, I kinda feel bad for Cody kind of, because I was tickling him, but I let him go as soon as he said he had to pee. Ellie is 4 and she didn't pee her pants. I just don't get it. I don't want to come off conceited and say that they are doing it to protest me seeing their dad, and I'm not ready to give up on them, but that is the only thing that has really changed, besides Jennifer telling us she is getting married. I like to spend time with them, I like to take them places and do fun things with them, but they act out when Scotty is around. It like, idk, somethings going on and they want him to know they are not happy... possibly an engagement maybe?
So, I don't know. I know its kinda personal, and I probably wouldn't post it here, but I figure theres people here who could give some genuine good advice. I've been told that they're just acting out because they don't have any structure, every things up in the air and not much is stable in their lives, but I also hope they can maybe start to see me as a friend, someone who genuinely cares about what they want. I really want them to know they can trust me. They could talk to me whenever they want.
I know having parents who are divorced can be tough and that sometimes people who aren't your original mother/father, but start a new relationship with the actual parent can get a lot of the angsty brunt of it, but how do you get past that?
After both of the older kids wetting themselves last night, we had the discussion that they do need to start talking to someone. And they may be able to get some free assistance through their school.
I actually love the kids, and I am willing to do whatever to make sure they have a good life as well. I would love it if this and Jenn getting married didn't ruin my relationship with Scotty, but its so hard to go from being a kid, to being in charge of 3, and basically, me and him are what these kids have as far as a structured life goes. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm as adamant about being with him because I know the kids deserve better than what they've been getting with Jennifer.
oh, and have I told anyone how much I love my dog?