Fic : Healing is a process - chapter 7
Pairing:Charles/Erik
Rating:T
Warnings: AU
Summary:This is a response to an lj prompt about Erik being hurt as Shaw flung him to the pipes and the effects of it all. It will be Charles/Erik. Prompt can be found here: 1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Betaed by Arcana Major.
It was barely after sunrise that Erik woke the next day. He had tried to go back to sleep, knowing that there was nothing he could do until time for rounds came, when the doctor would sign off on his release. His attempts had failed. His stay in the hospital had thrown his sleep patterns off balance. The rotation of medication and tests had made it difficult to distinguish day and night; inside the hospital there was a peculiar sense of time, completely disjoined from the normal rhythms of life.
When he woke alone in the room, Erik knew it must have been either too early or too late as Charles was not there. The only time that had happened in the past week was when visiting hours were long over. His telepath friend refused to leave him alone at any other time and Erik was thankful for that.
The magnetokinetic let his eyes wander around his room. He had been itching to leave this place almost as soon as he had awakened, but he had been dissuaded by Charles. That didn't mean his view on staying in this room had improved. It was small and uncomfortable. Most of the time it smelled like sanitizer and the sheets were rough from the repeated washing. Even more aggravating was the constant presence of the IV in his left hand, which restricted his movements. During the first 72 hours he had been hooked up to a cardiac monitor as well, which had also been irritating, but that had been deemed redundant later on.
It was a challenge, being so restricted. But the hardest part was the flashbacks. Memories of the time he had been subjected to experiments. Bound to a chair, his head completely immobilized by restraints… Erik sat up straight; pushing those images back, to that remote part of his memory that he avoided accessing. Whenever he went down that trail of thought they seemed to come loose and flood his mind. A dull pain spread to his torso, bringing him back to reality. His abrupt movement had put a little strain on his still tender surgical scar and despite the painkillers in his system, he still felt a tug. Erik ran his right hand over the bandage on his chest.
Despite sustaining injuries before, an occupational hazard for someone in his line of work, the magnetokinetic had never stayed long in a hospital. More than anything he would have felt too exposed and if he wanted to be completely honest; a little lonely.
He had never settled down for long, always on the move. Any ties he may have had, had been short lived. Knowing he was different he had never felt at ease amongst humans. All his experiences had taught him that he couldn't trust them and that he was alone. As a result, the majority of his adult life had been spent in solitude.
Sometimes, especially when he was younger, he had wondered briefly what would have happened if his parents hadn't died when they did and in the manner they had? Would he have become a different person? Would he have been someone that could connect with other people; someone who would want to form attachments?
But it was useless to wonder about something that could not be changed. He was who he was and the solitude was his means of survival. After all by having no one beside him, he didn't risk anyone else's wellbeing but his own. That had been true for a long time.
Now, everything was different. For the first time, Erik had visitors in the hospital. Those people had spent hours in a waiting room to find out if he was going to be all right. They had actually seemed concerned for his wellbeing.
Bewilderment.
That was the most apt description for what the magnetokinetic felt in regards to that. He hadn't gone out of his way to make the young mutants comfortable in his presence. There hadn't been any instances when he had been anything but detached and a little cold around them. Yes he had helped them train and given them some advice that would come handy in a combat but that had been the extent of his interaction with them. Most of the time he had not spent training, he had chosen to spend it with Charles.
It wasn't that he didn't like the kids. On the contrary, it had felt good to be surrounded by them, people with abilities just like him. Though they were significantly younger and their experiences differed vastly, there had been instances where their antics, their conversations and their fights had made him feel like he was part of a family. The feeling had been bittersweet as the feeling had been followed by memories and images of what he had lost.
During those days at the mansion, Erik had made conscious effort not to be trapped by what he saw as an illusion. Everything had seemed so inviting, so…possible, that at times he would find himself believing that this could be his life. It was ever brief though, since soon after, the nightmares would return and with them the bitter sense that no matter how perfect the picture in front of him was, he could not be included.
So he had kept building walls between him and everyone else. He had thought he had succeeded, with the young ones at least, because keeping Charles at arm's length had been beyond him and he hadn't even wanted to try. Selfish and even disastrous as it might have proved, the telepath that had called him 'friend' from their first meeting was someone Erik wanted to hold on to. Choosing to indulge in only that particular relationship, he had simply sought to train the rest of the mutant household so that they would stand a better chance at surviving the coming conflict.
His plan hadn't worked apparently. Just hours after he had awakened to find Charles by his side, his head swimming in a haze induced by pain management drugs, the entire team had stormed in, lead by Raven.
Having donned her usual blonde human persona, the shapeshifter had approached his bed with a smile full of happiness and eyes that had been a little watery. She had expressed her joy in seeing him alive and had even proceeded to chastise him for scaring them like that.
Hank and Sean had smiled and nodded, letting her do all the talking, while Alex had given him a nod and had proceeded to examine the room uncomfortably. All young mutants, with the exception of Raven, had seemed apprehensive of him, which was no surprise given everything that had occurred on the beach, but they had seemed strangely content in seeing him conscious and apparently, on the mend. The magnetokinetic had attributed it to curiosity but had been baffled to see them return the next day. Sean had even brought him a deck of cards, while Hank had brought a few books.
Erik was certain his expression had been something weird, a mix of confusion and surprise but had chosen to simply say 'thank you', not missing Charles's warm smile. After that he had decided to put this matter, much like many others, aside for the time being, choosing not to be puzzled further by the workings of young mutant minds.
The sound of two pairs of footsteps wrenched Erik from his thoughts. Upon seeing his doctor, he realized time had passed swiftly while he had been pondering all that.
"Good morning," the doctor greeted him as he entered the room. He was followed by one of the nurses that held a tray. On it there were bandages, a dark bottle, a scalpel and some other instruments.
"Doctor," Erik said gruffly, in way of greeting.
"I see you're an early riser," the doctor commented as he took a look at the chart that hung from the bed. His trained eye skimmed through it quickly.
"Your test results are satisfactory," he stated with a nod. He put the chart back in its place and removed his stethoscope from around his neck.
"Please sit up straight," he instructed and Erik reluctantly complied, allowing him to proceed with the examination. The nurse helped him remove his gown, enough to leave his entire upper torso exposed. After which, the doctor removed the tight bandages that were wrapped all around Erik's chest, to keep his ribs in place in order to heal correctly, leaving only the one directly on his sternum, where his incision was.
Then, the doctor proceeded to listen to his heartbeat and breathing.
Keeping a neutral expression he removed his stethoscope and motioned to Erik to lie down, "Everything seems to be healing properly, let's have a look at the incision."
The magnetokinetic did as the doctor instructed, and proceeded to remove the bandage,as he carefully examined the site for any abnormal signs that would indicate that it wasn't healing properly.
"Hmm, this is healing rather nicely, the sutures will have to remain for at least a week though," he motioned to the nurse to come closer, taking a clamp that had a sponge like material attached to it from the tray, he proceeded to apply disinfectant and to change the bandage, as well as rewrapping his entire chest.
"But I can leave here today." Erik said as the nurse helped him with the gown before leaving the room. His tone of voice had made it sound more like a statement than a question.
The doctor resisted the urge to sigh as he finished dressing the wound, "Normally I would want you to remain here for at least one more week. Despite what you may think your injuries were severe. If your friends had delayed in bringing you here you would be quite possibly dead."
As he spoke, he kept his eyes on his patient's trying to convey the gravity of what he was saying. Having been in this profession for more than a decade, he was no stranger to difficult patients and from what he had heard from the nurses, this man was certainly one of them. Gossip was always expected amongst medical staff, especially because of the long hours the nurses had to cover. According to it, Erik Lensherr was apparently a very intimidating individual. Despite his good looks, the nurses of the floor avoided any interaction with him because of the coldness of his expression when anyone of them entered the room. Apparently, this particular patient was overly suspicious of the medications he was given, he seemed to resent the tests he had to undergo. Only in the presence of his friend, he would seem to relax. Which was why there had been, on occasion, some allowances made by the head-nurse for Mr. Lensherr's visiting hours to be extended.
Taking in the glare that Erik Lensherr was directing towards him, the doctor couldn't help but notice that the man in front of him indeed had something wild, almost savage about him. During the operation he had observed some scars adorning his torso; one in particular had looked too much like a bullet wound. It stood to reason to assume that this man, with the intense gaze had had not the easiest of lives. This was in accordance to another comment made by the nurses that some nights the man would experience intense nightmares.
As the man stared him down, felt his watch shrink slightly, almost biting into his flesh.
"Erik!" a startled voice broke the silence as Charles Xavier walked into the room.
His presence seemed to release the spell and the watch once again felt normal around the doctor's wrist. He even spared a glance at it, tapping it gently with his right hand but dismissed the whole thing as the result of lack of sleep.
"Good morning," the newly arrival said, with an honest smile.
The doctor noticed a brief exchange of glances between the two men and he couldn't help but notice that his patient seemed more relaxed now.
"Good morning, you arrived just in time," he returned the greeting, "I just finished my examination and from what I see, though I don't think it wise, Mr. Lensherr could be released today but…"
Seeing as both men were about to interrupt him, he lifted his hand to stop them.
"Since his injuries are so recent, he will have to refrain from any physical exercise. Bed rest for at least another week is necessary to avoid any complications and even after that the physical exertion must be minimal to nonexistent."
As he spoke he focused his eyes not on his patient but on his friend who was nodding in agreement.
"I wouldn't be able to move at all?" questioned Erik, feeling more than a little irritated. That feeling had become a constant for him ever since he had been cooped up like this.
"I understand that it is difficult, especially since you may feel significantly better by now but it is deceptive. The painkillers keep the worst of it at bay and the danger of rupture is present should you exert too much pressure on your heart or lung. Not to mention that fractured ribs take time and physical therapy to properly heal. It is preferable to err on the side of caution. As I said, normally I wouldn't release you so early, you should be constantly monitored," the doctor stated and was about to get interrupted again by Erik but continued speaking before the other man had a chance to.
"However I have been assured that you will be in the care of friends who are willing to keep an eye on you at all times," he sought Charles's reassurance at that.
"Of course doctor, we will do anything to help Erik through this," the telepath hastened to assure him, meaning every word.
"You are very lucky, should you abide by the instructions I have given you there is no reason why you should not make a full recovery. But please remember to be patient, it will take time. You should keep taking your painkillers and antibiotics diligently and should you experience any shortness of breath or pain you should come immediately to the hospital."
Charles listened to the doctor with a serious look on his face, taking in everything that he was saying while trying not to get distracted by the waves of annoyance that were coming from Erik. Oh, it would be an interesting sojourn in Westchester with the magnetokinetic, of that he had no doubt.
He couldn't fault Erik. Intellectually, he understood how frustrating it was for a man as active as his friend to be so restrained. To be forced to remain almost immobile in a room with only the occasional visitor and practically little to no self-sufficiency was not something pleasant.
The entire ordeal had been difficult for Erik given his experiences at Shaw's hands that Charles had only skimmed through that one time he had read his friend's mind. The only reason the telepath had supported the request the magnetokinetic had made about leaving the hospital was that he knew the strain that this interlude caused his friend. Hopefully at the mansion he would be given the chance to heal more smoothly, surrounded by people who cared about him.
"There is no way to have him move around a bit?" Charles questioned.
The doctor hesitated. He didn't want to risk allowing something that may compromise the health of his patient but on the other had he understood that the psychological state of the patient played a significant role in his recovery. Not to mention that stubborn patients, not given a little leeway may resort to something thoughtless and endanger their health.
"I suppose you could move around in a wheelchair. It is not much but it will grant you some mobility and independency."
Charles's eyes shined as he heard that while Erik seemed to scowl. A glance from his friend though seemed to soften him up. It seemed to the doctor that those two seemed to communicate silently.
"Thank you, for everything you have done."
As he spoke, Charles took the doctor's hand in his, shaking it. His gratitude was evident and that elicited a comforting smile from .
"I hope everything goes well," the older man said," I will be expecting you to come back in a week to check the incision site and perhaps remove the stitches."
The last part was addressed to Erik who simply nodded solemnly.
"Once again I must impress on the issue of limited activity. Not everyone who gets into such a severe boating accident survive or have such a high chance of rehabilitation," stated the doctor with a curt nod. He was insisting greatly on this because he wanted this man to take his recovery seriously.
Both men looked serious, contemplating on what he had said and the good doctor felt at perhaps he had gotten through to his patient. Hopefully he wouldn't have any emergency visits by him. Satisfied that his job was done, he greeted them and left the room, sending the nurse to settle the paperwork.
No sooner had he left, Erik turned to Charles.
"Boating accident?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
The telepath shrugged, "We couldn't very well let the good doctor know the truth now could we?"
"And so you decided to explain it away as a boating accident?" the magnetokinetic questioned looking slightly amused.
"It was Moira who used it first, thinking this was the best way to explain the crushing injuries, I just picked up where she left off," Charles replied in a careless tone as he moved closer to his friend's side.
The mention of the female CIA agent's name had a peculiar effect on Erik, whose expression changed into a blank one.
"Oh come on, I don't understand why you dislike her," the telepath commented with a tinge of frustration in his voice as he sat down on the right side of the bed.
The magnetokinetic simply gave him an incredulous look.
Charles smiled, an honest open smile, "She has been very supportive to you, to us all. She even came here with me today to-"
Surprise became evident on Erik's face upon hearing this, "She's here?"
"Yes, she had mentioned yesterday that she would come by. We drove here together; she is now downstairs bringing the wheelchair I believe," the tone of the telepath's voice was light and happy as if he was conveying the best of news. Erik felt like strangling him, just a bit.
"Moira is truly a wonderful person; you should really try to get to know her better my friend."
The magnetokinetic resisted the urge to huff. He could swear that Charles was doing all this on purpose. There was no way he hadn't perceived what was going on. In Erik's mind it was obvious that the woman was infatuated with Charles, not that he could blame her. It was impossible to meet the man and not like him, something about him, his openness perhaps, made him irresistible. He conveyed trust, even to someone like Erik, who really couldn't trust anyone completely. If he could, he would trust Charles.
Eyeing his friend, the magnetokinetic tied to assess whether the other man was reading his thoughts. He had avoided the subject of the use of the telepaths powers for the past week but he knew he should now mention what had been on his mind.
"Charles."
"Yes, Erik."
The telepath was looking at his friend with a serene expression with a hint of cheerfulness, as he moved his eyes from the window, where he had been staring, back to the magnetokinetic by his side.
Are you reading my mind?
Erik asked.
No, not actively. This is just communication, the most pronounced surface thoughts directed towards someone; like you are doing now.
"So this is different from actual mind reading."
The magnetokinetic concluded, reverting back to actual speech.
"Marginally so," Charles acquiesced, a hint of a frown appearing on his forehead, "Is there something on your mind my friend?"
"I-" he started saying, only to be interrupted by the arrival of one of the nurses.
The woman looked hesitantly at him, "I'm here to take out the IV and someone has to fill out the paperwork for the patient to be discharged." she said.
The telepath nodded, "I'll go," giving her a reassuring smile as he got up from the bed. He looked at Erik, "I won't be long."
The nurse injected him with an antibiotic and a painkiller before slowly removing the IV, she was saying something about the next dosage but Erik was not paying attention.
.
oOo
.
When Charles returned, Erik was already sitting on his bed, having donned his black pants and was in the process of putting on the simple white shirt that Raven had bought him. Though he was free of his IV, his movements were restrained.
"Everything is settled," the telepath spoke out loud, gaining the attention of his friend.
Erik was still in the process of buttoning the shirt as he turned slightly to face Charles and the latter could see clearly the bandage on his friend's chest. The telepath almost winced, the sight was a reminder of having almost lost Erik and if he was honest, he felt partially responsible for it. There was a part of him that couldn't help but wonder what if? What if he had managed to get to Shaw in another way or sooner? Erik wouldn't have been so injured but-
He stopped that trail of thought because he knew it would lead to questions he didn't want to explore, to possibilities that he didn't want to face. It was better to act upon what had happened and not what might have happened. Now, here, both he and Erik were alive and perhaps given an opportunity to try again, a chance to reconcile their differences and work upon their similarities to pave a different path.
For now, more important than anything else was Erik's recovery and Charles was determined to help him in any way. He had put everything aside, regarding the things he and the magnetokinetic would eventually have to talk about, in order to be here for his friend. He was fully aware that the next few weeks would be difficult for Erik but he hoped to make things more bearable for him.
"Where is Moira?" Erik questioned idly, "I would have imagined she would have been here by now."
"She is downstairs, I asked her to wait for me to contact her since you seemed to want to talk to me about something," Charles explained as he came to stand in front of his friend.
"Hmm," the magnetokinetic muttered dismissively, taking a brief look at his attire. The clothes were simple and comfortable, "I will have to thank Raven for bringing these for me."
"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew the truth my friend," the telepath laughed, earning a puzzled expression from Erik.
"I am afraid my sister is a little extravagant when it comes to shopping," upon seeing the magnetokinetic raise an eyebrow he clarified, "Let's just say her plan involved pink."
Erik had to suppress a look of horror at that thought but something must have shown through as Charles remarked, "Quite so. It was Moira that managed to persuade Raven to purchase something more…tame."
"I'm surprised she managed to do that, Raven can be quite stubborn," Erik commented looking more appreciatively at his clothes but reluctant to admit he owed anything to Moira.
"Usually it is almost impossible to change my darling sister's mind but I do believe her training in the CIA was of use," Charles explained, his mirth evident in his eyes that twinkled slightly, "Oh, and I believe a comment about you looking marvelous in anything you wore," he added as an afterthought.
That gained him a laugh from the magnetokinetic, especially since a slight blush appeared on Charles's face which made Erik wonder if that opinion was shared by his telepath friend.
"But we keep getting sidetracked I believe."
The remark brought Erik's mind back to the issue that he had wanted to discuss, but for a moment he didn't know how to start. He sat down at the side of the bed and motioned to his friend to do the same.
The telepath complied.
"Raven has told me that you made her a promise never to read her mind," the magnetokinetic started saying.
"Yes, when we were little," Charles replied softly. Now he realized where this was heading, what Erik would ask of him.
The magnetokinetic turned to look straight into the telepath's eyes, "I wonder; would you make me such a promise?"
For a moment silence filled the small room as Erik awaited his friend's answer, though he knew what it would be.
"If it would ease your mind my friend, I would," Charles spoke very definitively but there was a hint of disappointment and hurt in his expression. They were minute but even though Erik was no telepath, he had learned from experience to read people and by now he knew Charles Xavier quite well.
Hurting him was something he detested but in this instance there wasn't anything he could do but this.
"Why request this of me now?" the telepath couldn't help but ask.
"You want us to make an effort, to build something together, I want it as well. The communication is something I don't mind but the rest… " Erik didn't know exactly how to say what he wanted to say.
He took a deep breath, "I know you told me you know everything about me. I am sure you have indeed seen my thoughts regarding Shaw but do you truly know everything? If not I would like to keep some things to myself."
"I understand," Charles's tone was soft but layered with sadness as he spoke those two words.
He did understand; the need for privacy, the need to hold on to something totally your own, it was something he could comprehend with clarity. The mind was meant to be something impenetrable, that belonged only to one person and only that person was meant to have access to it.
Partially Erik was correct in assuming he didn't in fact know everything. To study a mind he would need time and effort, to sort out everything and put them in context. The brain was difficult to navigate and it required concentration. The only things he had gotten from the man he had come to call his friend had been those loud thoughts that had overwhelmed him that night he had pulled Erik out of the water.
"You have my word Erik that I will not venture into your mind uninvited," he stated finally, looking straight into the magnetokinetic's eyes, trying to convey his determination and sincerity.
Erik nodded, his expression was blank but he seemed to relax imperceptibly.
There was a quiet click as Moira appeared, pushing a metallic wheelchair through the open door.
"You called?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice that almost made Erik twitch. She looked too happy for his taste about this.
"Come on," she motioned to the chair, "let's get you out of here, Raven and the others are back in the mansion and are waiting for us. She said she would cook to commemorate your return."
While Erik was shooting murderous looks at Moira, Charles groaned, "Oh dear god. Let's just hope there is a house to return to."
"Why? Isn't Raven a good cook?" Moira questioned, looking intrigued.
Erik rolled his eyes. He had firsthand knowledge of the shapeshifter's attempts in the kitchen and none of them had ended well.
"You have no idea," was the only thing Charles said as he shook his head in mock desperation.
Deeming it indeed time to leave, Erik remotely wrestled control of the wheelchair from Moira, with his abilities and brought it in front of him, forcing Charles to step aside. The female CIA agent spared him a disapproving look before glancing at the door to make sure no one saw that.
The only reason Erik was complying with all this was because he knew Charles wouldn't let him leave otherwise. With no great difficulty he sat on the chair, almost inattentive to his slightly painful sensation at his ribcage. However, he did not miss the fact that his friend had awaited readily by his side in case he required assistance.
If anybody else had done that, Erik would have bitten their heads off. He was his own man, independent and self-sufficient. He could handle himself without assistance. Never had he asked for help. But, though infuriating, the care Charles showed towards him made his heart warm slightly.
"Don't do that again," Moira scolded, "we don't want to attract attention, especially as Charles has already been kind enough to have handled the issue of our arrival here."
She spoke through her teeth as the telepath moved behind the chair, placing his hands on the handles.
The magnetokinetic's eyes widened slightly. This newly revealed aspect of Charles's abilities was something that surprised him, though it really shouldn't. After everything he had seen and after what he himself had accomplished, erasing memories or altering them didn't seem farfetched. But in conjunction with everything else, it really brought home how powerful Charles really was and how terrifying he could be.
Briefly he wondered at how that power could have been abused by someone else. What really was a mystery though, was the fact that despite the knowledge of the extent of these abilities, he didn't fear Charles. Some part deep inside him trusted him. It was a flawed trust, not complete; because Erik had been broken and reshaped but that part of him had stayed shattered. His survival had deemed it necessary for him to always have a contingency, never to give to anyone or anything fully. He had always had to keep something for himself. That was why he had wanted that promise from Charles, even at the cost of hurting him.
"A little patience and soon we will be amongst friends," the telepath murmured, probably trying to distract him from asking any questions about what Moira had mentioned.
Erik felt himself being wheeled away, towards the door. He didn't spare a glance behind him to look at the room. He was glad that finally he was out of it and out of that bed, even if the alternative was this chair.
He did spare a glance towards Charles, who gave him that warm smile that made everyone relax.
"Fine, after all, as I understand it we should hurry," the magnetokinetic acquiesced, deciding that the ride back was enough time to explain to him what the telepath had done in detail, "we have to save the house from your sister."
He smiled a mischievous smile as he said the last part. Charles laughed in delight. For the millionth time Erik was captivated by the sight, his friend was radiant when he laughed. It suited him to be like this.
Rating:T
Warnings: AU
Summary:This is a response to an lj prompt about Erik being hurt as Shaw flung him to the pipes and the effects of it all. It will be Charles/Erik. Prompt can be found here: 1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Betaed by Arcana Major.
It was barely after sunrise that Erik woke the next day. He had tried to go back to sleep, knowing that there was nothing he could do until time for rounds came, when the doctor would sign off on his release. His attempts had failed. His stay in the hospital had thrown his sleep patterns off balance. The rotation of medication and tests had made it difficult to distinguish day and night; inside the hospital there was a peculiar sense of time, completely disjoined from the normal rhythms of life.
When he woke alone in the room, Erik knew it must have been either too early or too late as Charles was not there. The only time that had happened in the past week was when visiting hours were long over. His telepath friend refused to leave him alone at any other time and Erik was thankful for that.
The magnetokinetic let his eyes wander around his room. He had been itching to leave this place almost as soon as he had awakened, but he had been dissuaded by Charles. That didn't mean his view on staying in this room had improved. It was small and uncomfortable. Most of the time it smelled like sanitizer and the sheets were rough from the repeated washing. Even more aggravating was the constant presence of the IV in his left hand, which restricted his movements. During the first 72 hours he had been hooked up to a cardiac monitor as well, which had also been irritating, but that had been deemed redundant later on.
It was a challenge, being so restricted. But the hardest part was the flashbacks. Memories of the time he had been subjected to experiments. Bound to a chair, his head completely immobilized by restraints… Erik sat up straight; pushing those images back, to that remote part of his memory that he avoided accessing. Whenever he went down that trail of thought they seemed to come loose and flood his mind. A dull pain spread to his torso, bringing him back to reality. His abrupt movement had put a little strain on his still tender surgical scar and despite the painkillers in his system, he still felt a tug. Erik ran his right hand over the bandage on his chest.
Despite sustaining injuries before, an occupational hazard for someone in his line of work, the magnetokinetic had never stayed long in a hospital. More than anything he would have felt too exposed and if he wanted to be completely honest; a little lonely.
He had never settled down for long, always on the move. Any ties he may have had, had been short lived. Knowing he was different he had never felt at ease amongst humans. All his experiences had taught him that he couldn't trust them and that he was alone. As a result, the majority of his adult life had been spent in solitude.
Sometimes, especially when he was younger, he had wondered briefly what would have happened if his parents hadn't died when they did and in the manner they had? Would he have become a different person? Would he have been someone that could connect with other people; someone who would want to form attachments?
But it was useless to wonder about something that could not be changed. He was who he was and the solitude was his means of survival. After all by having no one beside him, he didn't risk anyone else's wellbeing but his own. That had been true for a long time.
Now, everything was different. For the first time, Erik had visitors in the hospital. Those people had spent hours in a waiting room to find out if he was going to be all right. They had actually seemed concerned for his wellbeing.
Bewilderment.
That was the most apt description for what the magnetokinetic felt in regards to that. He hadn't gone out of his way to make the young mutants comfortable in his presence. There hadn't been any instances when he had been anything but detached and a little cold around them. Yes he had helped them train and given them some advice that would come handy in a combat but that had been the extent of his interaction with them. Most of the time he had not spent training, he had chosen to spend it with Charles.
It wasn't that he didn't like the kids. On the contrary, it had felt good to be surrounded by them, people with abilities just like him. Though they were significantly younger and their experiences differed vastly, there had been instances where their antics, their conversations and their fights had made him feel like he was part of a family. The feeling had been bittersweet as the feeling had been followed by memories and images of what he had lost.
During those days at the mansion, Erik had made conscious effort not to be trapped by what he saw as an illusion. Everything had seemed so inviting, so…possible, that at times he would find himself believing that this could be his life. It was ever brief though, since soon after, the nightmares would return and with them the bitter sense that no matter how perfect the picture in front of him was, he could not be included.
So he had kept building walls between him and everyone else. He had thought he had succeeded, with the young ones at least, because keeping Charles at arm's length had been beyond him and he hadn't even wanted to try. Selfish and even disastrous as it might have proved, the telepath that had called him 'friend' from their first meeting was someone Erik wanted to hold on to. Choosing to indulge in only that particular relationship, he had simply sought to train the rest of the mutant household so that they would stand a better chance at surviving the coming conflict.
His plan hadn't worked apparently. Just hours after he had awakened to find Charles by his side, his head swimming in a haze induced by pain management drugs, the entire team had stormed in, lead by Raven.
Having donned her usual blonde human persona, the shapeshifter had approached his bed with a smile full of happiness and eyes that had been a little watery. She had expressed her joy in seeing him alive and had even proceeded to chastise him for scaring them like that.
Hank and Sean had smiled and nodded, letting her do all the talking, while Alex had given him a nod and had proceeded to examine the room uncomfortably. All young mutants, with the exception of Raven, had seemed apprehensive of him, which was no surprise given everything that had occurred on the beach, but they had seemed strangely content in seeing him conscious and apparently, on the mend. The magnetokinetic had attributed it to curiosity but had been baffled to see them return the next day. Sean had even brought him a deck of cards, while Hank had brought a few books.
Erik was certain his expression had been something weird, a mix of confusion and surprise but had chosen to simply say 'thank you', not missing Charles's warm smile. After that he had decided to put this matter, much like many others, aside for the time being, choosing not to be puzzled further by the workings of young mutant minds.
The sound of two pairs of footsteps wrenched Erik from his thoughts. Upon seeing his doctor, he realized time had passed swiftly while he had been pondering all that.
"Good morning," the doctor greeted him as he entered the room. He was followed by one of the nurses that held a tray. On it there were bandages, a dark bottle, a scalpel and some other instruments.
"Doctor," Erik said gruffly, in way of greeting.
"I see you're an early riser," the doctor commented as he took a look at the chart that hung from the bed. His trained eye skimmed through it quickly.
"Your test results are satisfactory," he stated with a nod. He put the chart back in its place and removed his stethoscope from around his neck.
"Please sit up straight," he instructed and Erik reluctantly complied, allowing him to proceed with the examination. The nurse helped him remove his gown, enough to leave his entire upper torso exposed. After which, the doctor removed the tight bandages that were wrapped all around Erik's chest, to keep his ribs in place in order to heal correctly, leaving only the one directly on his sternum, where his incision was.
Then, the doctor proceeded to listen to his heartbeat and breathing.
Keeping a neutral expression he removed his stethoscope and motioned to Erik to lie down, "Everything seems to be healing properly, let's have a look at the incision."
The magnetokinetic did as the doctor instructed, and proceeded to remove the bandage,as he carefully examined the site for any abnormal signs that would indicate that it wasn't healing properly.
"Hmm, this is healing rather nicely, the sutures will have to remain for at least a week though," he motioned to the nurse to come closer, taking a clamp that had a sponge like material attached to it from the tray, he proceeded to apply disinfectant and to change the bandage, as well as rewrapping his entire chest.
"But I can leave here today." Erik said as the nurse helped him with the gown before leaving the room. His tone of voice had made it sound more like a statement than a question.
The doctor resisted the urge to sigh as he finished dressing the wound, "Normally I would want you to remain here for at least one more week. Despite what you may think your injuries were severe. If your friends had delayed in bringing you here you would be quite possibly dead."
As he spoke, he kept his eyes on his patient's trying to convey the gravity of what he was saying. Having been in this profession for more than a decade, he was no stranger to difficult patients and from what he had heard from the nurses, this man was certainly one of them. Gossip was always expected amongst medical staff, especially because of the long hours the nurses had to cover. According to it, Erik Lensherr was apparently a very intimidating individual. Despite his good looks, the nurses of the floor avoided any interaction with him because of the coldness of his expression when anyone of them entered the room. Apparently, this particular patient was overly suspicious of the medications he was given, he seemed to resent the tests he had to undergo. Only in the presence of his friend, he would seem to relax. Which was why there had been, on occasion, some allowances made by the head-nurse for Mr. Lensherr's visiting hours to be extended.
Taking in the glare that Erik Lensherr was directing towards him, the doctor couldn't help but notice that the man in front of him indeed had something wild, almost savage about him. During the operation he had observed some scars adorning his torso; one in particular had looked too much like a bullet wound. It stood to reason to assume that this man, with the intense gaze had had not the easiest of lives. This was in accordance to another comment made by the nurses that some nights the man would experience intense nightmares.
As the man stared him down, felt his watch shrink slightly, almost biting into his flesh.
"Erik!" a startled voice broke the silence as Charles Xavier walked into the room.
His presence seemed to release the spell and the watch once again felt normal around the doctor's wrist. He even spared a glance at it, tapping it gently with his right hand but dismissed the whole thing as the result of lack of sleep.
"Good morning," the newly arrival said, with an honest smile.
The doctor noticed a brief exchange of glances between the two men and he couldn't help but notice that his patient seemed more relaxed now.
"Good morning, you arrived just in time," he returned the greeting, "I just finished my examination and from what I see, though I don't think it wise, Mr. Lensherr could be released today but…"
Seeing as both men were about to interrupt him, he lifted his hand to stop them.
"Since his injuries are so recent, he will have to refrain from any physical exercise. Bed rest for at least another week is necessary to avoid any complications and even after that the physical exertion must be minimal to nonexistent."
As he spoke he focused his eyes not on his patient but on his friend who was nodding in agreement.
"I wouldn't be able to move at all?" questioned Erik, feeling more than a little irritated. That feeling had become a constant for him ever since he had been cooped up like this.
"I understand that it is difficult, especially since you may feel significantly better by now but it is deceptive. The painkillers keep the worst of it at bay and the danger of rupture is present should you exert too much pressure on your heart or lung. Not to mention that fractured ribs take time and physical therapy to properly heal. It is preferable to err on the side of caution. As I said, normally I wouldn't release you so early, you should be constantly monitored," the doctor stated and was about to get interrupted again by Erik but continued speaking before the other man had a chance to.
"However I have been assured that you will be in the care of friends who are willing to keep an eye on you at all times," he sought Charles's reassurance at that.
"Of course doctor, we will do anything to help Erik through this," the telepath hastened to assure him, meaning every word.
"You are very lucky, should you abide by the instructions I have given you there is no reason why you should not make a full recovery. But please remember to be patient, it will take time. You should keep taking your painkillers and antibiotics diligently and should you experience any shortness of breath or pain you should come immediately to the hospital."
Charles listened to the doctor with a serious look on his face, taking in everything that he was saying while trying not to get distracted by the waves of annoyance that were coming from Erik. Oh, it would be an interesting sojourn in Westchester with the magnetokinetic, of that he had no doubt.
He couldn't fault Erik. Intellectually, he understood how frustrating it was for a man as active as his friend to be so restrained. To be forced to remain almost immobile in a room with only the occasional visitor and practically little to no self-sufficiency was not something pleasant.
The entire ordeal had been difficult for Erik given his experiences at Shaw's hands that Charles had only skimmed through that one time he had read his friend's mind. The only reason the telepath had supported the request the magnetokinetic had made about leaving the hospital was that he knew the strain that this interlude caused his friend. Hopefully at the mansion he would be given the chance to heal more smoothly, surrounded by people who cared about him.
"There is no way to have him move around a bit?" Charles questioned.
The doctor hesitated. He didn't want to risk allowing something that may compromise the health of his patient but on the other had he understood that the psychological state of the patient played a significant role in his recovery. Not to mention that stubborn patients, not given a little leeway may resort to something thoughtless and endanger their health.
"I suppose you could move around in a wheelchair. It is not much but it will grant you some mobility and independency."
Charles's eyes shined as he heard that while Erik seemed to scowl. A glance from his friend though seemed to soften him up. It seemed to the doctor that those two seemed to communicate silently.
"Thank you, for everything you have done."
As he spoke, Charles took the doctor's hand in his, shaking it. His gratitude was evident and that elicited a comforting smile from .
"I hope everything goes well," the older man said," I will be expecting you to come back in a week to check the incision site and perhaps remove the stitches."
The last part was addressed to Erik who simply nodded solemnly.
"Once again I must impress on the issue of limited activity. Not everyone who gets into such a severe boating accident survive or have such a high chance of rehabilitation," stated the doctor with a curt nod. He was insisting greatly on this because he wanted this man to take his recovery seriously.
Both men looked serious, contemplating on what he had said and the good doctor felt at perhaps he had gotten through to his patient. Hopefully he wouldn't have any emergency visits by him. Satisfied that his job was done, he greeted them and left the room, sending the nurse to settle the paperwork.
No sooner had he left, Erik turned to Charles.
"Boating accident?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.
The telepath shrugged, "We couldn't very well let the good doctor know the truth now could we?"
"And so you decided to explain it away as a boating accident?" the magnetokinetic questioned looking slightly amused.
"It was Moira who used it first, thinking this was the best way to explain the crushing injuries, I just picked up where she left off," Charles replied in a careless tone as he moved closer to his friend's side.
The mention of the female CIA agent's name had a peculiar effect on Erik, whose expression changed into a blank one.
"Oh come on, I don't understand why you dislike her," the telepath commented with a tinge of frustration in his voice as he sat down on the right side of the bed.
The magnetokinetic simply gave him an incredulous look.
Charles smiled, an honest open smile, "She has been very supportive to you, to us all. She even came here with me today to-"
Surprise became evident on Erik's face upon hearing this, "She's here?"
"Yes, she had mentioned yesterday that she would come by. We drove here together; she is now downstairs bringing the wheelchair I believe," the tone of the telepath's voice was light and happy as if he was conveying the best of news. Erik felt like strangling him, just a bit.
"Moira is truly a wonderful person; you should really try to get to know her better my friend."
The magnetokinetic resisted the urge to huff. He could swear that Charles was doing all this on purpose. There was no way he hadn't perceived what was going on. In Erik's mind it was obvious that the woman was infatuated with Charles, not that he could blame her. It was impossible to meet the man and not like him, something about him, his openness perhaps, made him irresistible. He conveyed trust, even to someone like Erik, who really couldn't trust anyone completely. If he could, he would trust Charles.
Eyeing his friend, the magnetokinetic tied to assess whether the other man was reading his thoughts. He had avoided the subject of the use of the telepaths powers for the past week but he knew he should now mention what had been on his mind.
"Charles."
"Yes, Erik."
The telepath was looking at his friend with a serene expression with a hint of cheerfulness, as he moved his eyes from the window, where he had been staring, back to the magnetokinetic by his side.
Are you reading my mind?
Erik asked.
No, not actively. This is just communication, the most pronounced surface thoughts directed towards someone; like you are doing now.
"So this is different from actual mind reading."
The magnetokinetic concluded, reverting back to actual speech.
"Marginally so," Charles acquiesced, a hint of a frown appearing on his forehead, "Is there something on your mind my friend?"
"I-" he started saying, only to be interrupted by the arrival of one of the nurses.
The woman looked hesitantly at him, "I'm here to take out the IV and someone has to fill out the paperwork for the patient to be discharged." she said.
The telepath nodded, "I'll go," giving her a reassuring smile as he got up from the bed. He looked at Erik, "I won't be long."
The nurse injected him with an antibiotic and a painkiller before slowly removing the IV, she was saying something about the next dosage but Erik was not paying attention.
.
oOo
.
When Charles returned, Erik was already sitting on his bed, having donned his black pants and was in the process of putting on the simple white shirt that Raven had bought him. Though he was free of his IV, his movements were restrained.
"Everything is settled," the telepath spoke out loud, gaining the attention of his friend.
Erik was still in the process of buttoning the shirt as he turned slightly to face Charles and the latter could see clearly the bandage on his friend's chest. The telepath almost winced, the sight was a reminder of having almost lost Erik and if he was honest, he felt partially responsible for it. There was a part of him that couldn't help but wonder what if? What if he had managed to get to Shaw in another way or sooner? Erik wouldn't have been so injured but-
He stopped that trail of thought because he knew it would lead to questions he didn't want to explore, to possibilities that he didn't want to face. It was better to act upon what had happened and not what might have happened. Now, here, both he and Erik were alive and perhaps given an opportunity to try again, a chance to reconcile their differences and work upon their similarities to pave a different path.
For now, more important than anything else was Erik's recovery and Charles was determined to help him in any way. He had put everything aside, regarding the things he and the magnetokinetic would eventually have to talk about, in order to be here for his friend. He was fully aware that the next few weeks would be difficult for Erik but he hoped to make things more bearable for him.
"Where is Moira?" Erik questioned idly, "I would have imagined she would have been here by now."
"She is downstairs, I asked her to wait for me to contact her since you seemed to want to talk to me about something," Charles explained as he came to stand in front of his friend.
"Hmm," the magnetokinetic muttered dismissively, taking a brief look at his attire. The clothes were simple and comfortable, "I will have to thank Raven for bringing these for me."
"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew the truth my friend," the telepath laughed, earning a puzzled expression from Erik.
"I am afraid my sister is a little extravagant when it comes to shopping," upon seeing the magnetokinetic raise an eyebrow he clarified, "Let's just say her plan involved pink."
Erik had to suppress a look of horror at that thought but something must have shown through as Charles remarked, "Quite so. It was Moira that managed to persuade Raven to purchase something more…tame."
"I'm surprised she managed to do that, Raven can be quite stubborn," Erik commented looking more appreciatively at his clothes but reluctant to admit he owed anything to Moira.
"Usually it is almost impossible to change my darling sister's mind but I do believe her training in the CIA was of use," Charles explained, his mirth evident in his eyes that twinkled slightly, "Oh, and I believe a comment about you looking marvelous in anything you wore," he added as an afterthought.
That gained him a laugh from the magnetokinetic, especially since a slight blush appeared on Charles's face which made Erik wonder if that opinion was shared by his telepath friend.
"But we keep getting sidetracked I believe."
The remark brought Erik's mind back to the issue that he had wanted to discuss, but for a moment he didn't know how to start. He sat down at the side of the bed and motioned to his friend to do the same.
The telepath complied.
"Raven has told me that you made her a promise never to read her mind," the magnetokinetic started saying.
"Yes, when we were little," Charles replied softly. Now he realized where this was heading, what Erik would ask of him.
The magnetokinetic turned to look straight into the telepath's eyes, "I wonder; would you make me such a promise?"
For a moment silence filled the small room as Erik awaited his friend's answer, though he knew what it would be.
"If it would ease your mind my friend, I would," Charles spoke very definitively but there was a hint of disappointment and hurt in his expression. They were minute but even though Erik was no telepath, he had learned from experience to read people and by now he knew Charles Xavier quite well.
Hurting him was something he detested but in this instance there wasn't anything he could do but this.
"Why request this of me now?" the telepath couldn't help but ask.
"You want us to make an effort, to build something together, I want it as well. The communication is something I don't mind but the rest… " Erik didn't know exactly how to say what he wanted to say.
He took a deep breath, "I know you told me you know everything about me. I am sure you have indeed seen my thoughts regarding Shaw but do you truly know everything? If not I would like to keep some things to myself."
"I understand," Charles's tone was soft but layered with sadness as he spoke those two words.
He did understand; the need for privacy, the need to hold on to something totally your own, it was something he could comprehend with clarity. The mind was meant to be something impenetrable, that belonged only to one person and only that person was meant to have access to it.
Partially Erik was correct in assuming he didn't in fact know everything. To study a mind he would need time and effort, to sort out everything and put them in context. The brain was difficult to navigate and it required concentration. The only things he had gotten from the man he had come to call his friend had been those loud thoughts that had overwhelmed him that night he had pulled Erik out of the water.
"You have my word Erik that I will not venture into your mind uninvited," he stated finally, looking straight into the magnetokinetic's eyes, trying to convey his determination and sincerity.
Erik nodded, his expression was blank but he seemed to relax imperceptibly.
There was a quiet click as Moira appeared, pushing a metallic wheelchair through the open door.
"You called?" she asked with a hint of amusement in her voice that almost made Erik twitch. She looked too happy for his taste about this.
"Come on," she motioned to the chair, "let's get you out of here, Raven and the others are back in the mansion and are waiting for us. She said she would cook to commemorate your return."
While Erik was shooting murderous looks at Moira, Charles groaned, "Oh dear god. Let's just hope there is a house to return to."
"Why? Isn't Raven a good cook?" Moira questioned, looking intrigued.
Erik rolled his eyes. He had firsthand knowledge of the shapeshifter's attempts in the kitchen and none of them had ended well.
"You have no idea," was the only thing Charles said as he shook his head in mock desperation.
Deeming it indeed time to leave, Erik remotely wrestled control of the wheelchair from Moira, with his abilities and brought it in front of him, forcing Charles to step aside. The female CIA agent spared him a disapproving look before glancing at the door to make sure no one saw that.
The only reason Erik was complying with all this was because he knew Charles wouldn't let him leave otherwise. With no great difficulty he sat on the chair, almost inattentive to his slightly painful sensation at his ribcage. However, he did not miss the fact that his friend had awaited readily by his side in case he required assistance.
If anybody else had done that, Erik would have bitten their heads off. He was his own man, independent and self-sufficient. He could handle himself without assistance. Never had he asked for help. But, though infuriating, the care Charles showed towards him made his heart warm slightly.
"Don't do that again," Moira scolded, "we don't want to attract attention, especially as Charles has already been kind enough to have handled the issue of our arrival here."
She spoke through her teeth as the telepath moved behind the chair, placing his hands on the handles.
The magnetokinetic's eyes widened slightly. This newly revealed aspect of Charles's abilities was something that surprised him, though it really shouldn't. After everything he had seen and after what he himself had accomplished, erasing memories or altering them didn't seem farfetched. But in conjunction with everything else, it really brought home how powerful Charles really was and how terrifying he could be.
Briefly he wondered at how that power could have been abused by someone else. What really was a mystery though, was the fact that despite the knowledge of the extent of these abilities, he didn't fear Charles. Some part deep inside him trusted him. It was a flawed trust, not complete; because Erik had been broken and reshaped but that part of him had stayed shattered. His survival had deemed it necessary for him to always have a contingency, never to give to anyone or anything fully. He had always had to keep something for himself. That was why he had wanted that promise from Charles, even at the cost of hurting him.
"A little patience and soon we will be amongst friends," the telepath murmured, probably trying to distract him from asking any questions about what Moira had mentioned.
Erik felt himself being wheeled away, towards the door. He didn't spare a glance behind him to look at the room. He was glad that finally he was out of it and out of that bed, even if the alternative was this chair.
He did spare a glance towards Charles, who gave him that warm smile that made everyone relax.
"Fine, after all, as I understand it we should hurry," the magnetokinetic acquiesced, deciding that the ride back was enough time to explain to him what the telepath had done in detail, "we have to save the house from your sister."
He smiled a mischievous smile as he said the last part. Charles laughed in delight. For the millionth time Erik was captivated by the sight, his friend was radiant when he laughed. It suited him to be like this.