Fic : Healing is a process - chapter 8
Pairing:Charles/Erik
Rating:T
Warnings: AU
Summary:This is a response to an lj prompt about Erik being hurt as Shaw flung him to the pipes and the effects of it all. It will be Charles/Erik. Prompt can be found here: 1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html
Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
Beta: Arcana Major
"I have to admit that the only situation I was prepared to face was disaster," Charles looked inquisitively around the dinner table, at the young mutants sitting opposite him. "But this is truly wonderful," he concluded as he took another bite of the chicken on his plate.
"Really Charles, you have no faith in my abilities," Raven smiled cockily. She was in her natural blue form, which she tended to adopt whenever she could. To Charles that showed how much she had come to terms with herself and her ability. He was glad for her; she had managed to grow in such a short time.
"On the contrary my dear sister, I greatly respect your abilities, it is your cooking skills that I question," he gave her a teasing look.
"I should be offended but in this instance I have to admit I had help," she replied, briefly crossing her hands in front of her. There was a hint of amusement and arrogance in her voice; overall she seemed quite pleased with herself.
"Help?" Alex questioned, fixing an incredulous glance on the shifter, "You threatened us with castration if we didn't get off our butts to help. in preparing this meal," he gestured to the plates in front of them.
The food wasn't anything elaborate. Chicken with potatoes in the oven accompanied by a green salad and what appeared to be a yellowish sauce.
"Raven…" the telepath said and his tone held a hint of disapproval.
"Don't worry Charles, no one got hurt," she hastened to assure him, glaring daggers at her accuser.
"Yeah, after we banned Alex from the kitchen for breaking three plates," Sean commented absentmindedly before munching another potato.
That earned him the immediate attention of Alex, who pointed at him with his fork as he spoke in protest, "That wasn't my fault! You tripped me."
"That was the third time and I was trying to swipe up the broken pieces!" the redhead provided, putting his utensils down. "I almost cut off a finger in doing so," he added, lifting his right hand to show his thumb that was wrapped in a bandage.
Alex just shrugged as he turned his attention back to his food, "It was your fault for being so clumsy."
"Oh, I was the clumsy one was I?"
Charles resisted the urge to bring his fingers to his temple. Instead he closed his eyes briefly, before addressing the people around him. "Please calm down, it's been some time since we enjoyed a good meal and I would appreciate a degree of quiet if you please."
Both of teens exchanged a brief glance. "Sorry Professor," they muttered simultaneously.
"Here have some sauce, Hank made it, he's a great cook," Raven's words made the blue furred mutant look away shyly. Surely he would be blushing if he had his previous guise.
"Poor bozo, he had to try the three failed attempts you made at chicken roasting before this one," Alex commented with a smile, earning a glare from both the shapeshifter and Hank.
"Alex, what have I told you about addressing Hank like that?" Charles asked, giving a slightly chastising look at the younger man.
It amazed him how childish they could be and yet how many things they had accomplished. Alex in particular had made tremendous progress with his control and his behavior, not that he didn't still need guidance but his efforts so far had been rewarded.
"It's endearing," he replied.
The telepath shook his head slightly before looking at the younger man in the eyes, "I am afraid neither Hank nor Raven find it so."
"I don't mind Professor," the blue furred mutant said.
"Well I do," Raven's yellow eyes sparkled with a hint of indignation as she looked at Alex.
"I made the salad," Sean eagerly informed, diverting the attention of everyone. The redhead seemed very pleased with himself in managing to cut some vegetables and Alex was more than willing to point that out, effectively starting another round of mild bickering.
With a sigh Charles tuned them out, casting his eyes towards Moira who seemed to be enjoying her food and was in the process of complimenting Raven for her cooking. In return, his sister beamed at her no longer paying attention to Alex and Sean.
Erik was sitting at the far end of the table. Content to have been almost forgotten after the first bursts of excitement that had accompanied their arrival at the mansion, mainly from Raven, truth be told. The others, though happy for his return, didn't manage to hide their apprehension for long and had, seemingly decided to give both Erik and themselves some space.
The magnetokinetic was not perturbed by this in the slightest. It gave him relative peace and allowed him to observe freely everything that was going on around him. He particularly enjoyed the youngsters' antics and how Charles reacted to them. Though usually the telepath had about him the same carelessness that the younger mutants displayed, he would on occasion display a more serious attitude more akin to how a teacher would approach and talk to a group of students. Both Erik and Raven had dubbed this the 'professor' mode.
On Erik's lips a hint of a smile appeared as his eyes found Charles's.
How does it feel to be home?
The telepath was surprised to hear the magnetokinetic's voice in his mind, before realizing that the thought was directed at him. Erik was speaking to him and Charles couldn't help but feel a bit confused. He had tried to hide his disappointment when Erik asked him to promise him not to use his powers on him. He had thought they had made progress ever since the magnetokinetic had woken on that hospital bed and had reached out mentally to Charles. Not once had he asked about the helmet and the telepath had felt that Erik had seen that he had no need of it. On the other hand it was a sign of trust that the magnetokinetic had only asked for a promise, even though it was Charles's suspicion that Erik knew that the telepath never ventured to his friends minds uninvited. The truth was that if felt more like a test to Charles. It was like Erik was telling him that if the promise ever was broken then it would be the end of all this, of them.
I am glad to be home. Can't fault them for being a bit…lively.
He answered his friend, trying to quench the bitterness that usually arose whenever he thought of his friendship with Erik breaking. Something must have shown through because he saw the magnetokinetic's brow furrow.
Raven must have noticed something as well since he heard her talk to him, "Are you okay Charles?"
Much to the telepath's dismay it appeared that everyone was now looking attentively at him. All conversation had been halted.
"I am fine. Sorry, must have zoned out," he smiled dismissively as he took another bite from his food, trying to prove his point.
It didn't seem to work as the shifter abruptly reached out and grabbed his wrist, interrupting him, "Look at me Charles. You're not having a headache again are you?"
The telepath almost winced at her question; he hadn't wanted Erik to hear about this.
"No Raven, I feel quite all right. But I would appreciate that the discussion amongst us be conducted in a more serene manner."
"Oh, okay," she replied, the concern receding visibly as she released her brother.
The others seemed to relax as well at his reassurance.
Erik on the other hand was giving him a look, something between worry, curiosity and irritation. He didn't say a thing but the telepath had no doubt he would press him later for an explanation.
.
oOo
.
After lunch, the entire household retreated to one of the lounges. It was one of the more spacious rooms in the manor, with four couches and several armchairs of a design evocative of the baroque period. Neither Raven nor Charles had ever liked it but it was suitable to host several guests which made it ideal for time such as this, when they needed to discuss some things as a team.
"So Professor, what did you have in mind?" Alex was, quite predictably the one to break the silence as they all had taken their places.
They had rearranged the furniture slightly so that they were all in a circle, facing each other. Raven was sitting on the sofa next to Hank, Moira and Charles were sharing another one, Erik, as per doctor's orders was confined to his wheelchair, which didn't appear to displease him as much as was possible because he could move it around without touching it and it gave him a degree of freedom. Sean and Alex had chosen to seat down in two of the armchairs.
Charles's eyes wondered around, taking in the faces of the people around him. They were his friends, his family. He had never imagined that one day he would be back in this house with a group of people with abilities, his brothers in every sense of the word and that he would finally feel at ease, like this was really home.
Life was truly unpredictable but right now Charles was glad that those series of events had brought them all together. All of them were people he trusted, his comrades in arms, but more importantly, they were the ones he wanted to face the future with.
For a moment, his eyes lingered on Erik, before he turned his attention to Alex, "After the events in Cuba some loose ends were not properly addressed."
At the mention of the island, the young mutants couldn't help but cast a glance towards the injured member of their team. Erik was sitting, seemingly unperturbed.
"What do you mean?" Raven questioned as she crossed her hands in front of her. Hank shifted his position, sitting more on the edge of the couch, his legs firmly touching the intricate carpet that covered every inch of the floor.
"During that incident and in our effort to help we have revealed the existence of mutants to the two most powerful governments of the world, assuming they did not have prior knowledge like our CIA did," the telepath made a dismissing motion at that, obviously considering it not very important. Everyone was listening attentively at what he was saying.
"We cannot contain the knowledge; it is too wide spread."
"Couldn't you…" Raven's voice trailed away as she uttered those words tentatively. This was something she didn't usually bring up, the true extent of Charles's abilities. She knew it bothered him and she chose to stir clear of the subject, especially since she was kind of intimidated by that aspect of his power. Even though she knew that Charles would never use it without a very good reason and never against his friends.
The others exchanged inquisitive glances, obviously waiting for an explanation. The shapeshifter was surprised to see that only Erik seemed uninterested. Briefly she wondered if he knew. Despite their expectation neither sibling provided an answer.
Charles side stepped the issue completely and continued, "What we can do is erase any information the CIA may have on us. Not only about the members of our team but any other leads that were provided by the use of Cerebro."
"To what end Professor?" Hank asked.
"We need time, to organize and we also need to give them time to adjust to the idea of the mutants' existence, our existence," the telepath stated, quite firmly.
"That's all nice and good but who will go destroy the files?" Erik's voice was demanding and hard. Irritation was seeping through, it was obvious that he knew the answer to his question and he didn't like it.
"Moira?" questioned Alex, looking at the woman who up till now sat calmly and silently by Charles's side.
"She cannot do this alone, I will go with her," the telepath explained.
"Shouldn't we come with you too Professor?" Alex asked as Sean nodded at his words, showing his agreement and eagerness.
Hank interrupted, "It is something that requires discretion. They have to go in and out without being noticed. You both have very attention grabbing abilities."
Alex seemed about to protest but Charles stopped him, "Hank is right, we need to get in and get out silently."
"Then I can go with you, I can blend in perfectly," Raven said and to prove her point she shifted into one of the agents she had seen walking about the main building in the CIA.
"I don't see why not. This should be quite straightforward. I have located the files, so we won't have to search for them," Moira informed with a smile.
A strange metallic sound was heard, startling everyone. Looking for the source of the sound, they saw that one of the lamps had been broken, its metal decorations and parts were twisted, having folded into themselves, crushing the porcelain underneath. Charles looked at Erik whose face was a mask of displeasure.
"Can you please leave me and Erik alone for a moment," he asked.
Everyone obliged, filling out of the room somewhat reluctantly, with Raven closing the door behind her.
"Why do this now?" Erik demanded rather than posing a question. His voice was hard.
When I can't come with you? When I can't protect you?
The thoughts running through his mind weren't rational, he knew that. It was the urge he couldn't control when it came to Charles, an almost primal need to protect him. He didn't voice them.
"We have already delayed it too much," the telepath replied calmly, in an almost conversational tone, as he got up from his seat and moved a few paces away from the sofa.
The magnetokinetic gave a nod. He knew it was true, this had to be done. But he didn't want Charles going there without him. Raven was good for an infiltration and relatively adequate in hand to hand combat but she was not enough if this went south. Moira on the other hand had training but Erik couldn't trust her, he wanted to be there, to make sure…
"I should-"
The telepath cut him off with a firm shake of the head, "You should concentrate on getting better."
"But-"
Turning to face the magnetokinetic, he sought to make eye contact, "Erik, please. Trust me, this is nothing, there is almost no risk."
The assurance didn't have an effect on the magnetokinetic.
Almost doesn't mean no risk at all.
"I thought we were doing this together." Erik stated.
The telepath nodded, looking at his friend squarely in the eyes, there was something there that the magnetokinetic couldn't quite place and it bothered him. "We are, but this is something that has to be tended to right now. We don't know if or when they may move those files."
"You are going there to erase the memories of the people who know about our identities aren't you?" Again, it was more a statement than a question and something nudged at Erik's mind as he spoke those words.
Somehow, though veiled, his words had made Charles a little uncomfortable. It became apparent when he evaded the other man's eyes as he spoke this time. "Yes, that is what I intend to do. Though I do not know how well it will work."
"When did you decide all this?"
Charles rubbed his forehead, he could feel the tingling of an incoming headache. He had expected Erik's reaction and he had to make his friend see that this was the only thing they could do now, under the circumstances. "Today, when Moira told me she had confirmed exactly where those files are. She will arrange a meeting with the people there who have knowledge of us, of this team."
"I will come with you."
"Absolutely not!" the telepath made a firm motion with his right hand, "You are in no condition. You just got out of the hospital-"
"I am fine!" the magnetokinetic insisted, gripping the metallic chair and lifting himself up to demonstrate the truth of his words.
"No you are not! Please Erik, sit back down!" Charles was pleading, eyes wide with worry.
The dull ache that Erik had felt as he got up, intensified and he gripped his side, wincing.
"Are you in pain?" the telepath was instantly in front of him, his voice filled with anxiety and a hint of fear. The intensity of his feelings was displayed in his eyes, communicating his concern.
"It's nothing, I am okay," Erik grunted as he sat back down to the chair.
"I should get Hank," Charles said but only took a few steps back, his eyes searching for any other signs of distress in his friend's expression or body language.
The magnetokinetic waved a dismissing hand, hoping to stop him from summoning anyone. "No need."
"Perhaps we shouldn't have brought you home so soon," the telepath almost mumbled under his breath.
"I am fine Charles!" Erik pounded his hand on the hand of his wheelchair, exasperated.
"NO YOU ARE NOT!"
Charles's outburst surprised them both, as it was followed by a deep silence. The two men simply stared at each other, disbelief written all over their faces. Two pairs of blue eyes connected.
"I- I'm sorry my friend" the telepath was the first to break the silence, "I didn't mean to yell."
Charles slumped into one of the armchairs, bringing his hand on his face.
"You don't know how difficult those hours were, at the hospital." He took a deep breath, aware that Erik was looking at him tentatively and slightly surprised. He looked at his hands, they were trembling slightly. He hadn't told his friend how some times he would see blood on them, Erik's blood. How the thought of losing him had suffocated him. Even now he felt his breath hitch at the memory.
The magnetokinetic's expression softened, he willed his chair closer, so that he could take Charles's hands into his.
"I am here, I am right here."
The telepath looked up, meeting Erik's eyes. There was sorrow there, reflected inside those bright pools of blue, the magnetokinetic could clearly see it; it was almost palpable.
"But you almost were not."
I almost lost you.
Charles's mental voice held something, it sounded almost like a plea. But Erik didn't know how to answer it, what it was that the telepath was asking of him. Two conflicting emotions arose in him. Sadness, for having caused pain to the person he valued more than anyone in his life and joy, because someone cared deeply enough to feel such sorrow as Charles had.
"You didn't lose me Charles, I am right here, by your side." He spoke, lacing his fingers with the telepath's, examining his slender fingers as they intertwined with his own. Soft hands, unused to hardship, so unlike his callused hands, used to handling weapons and inflicting death. One more proof of how different they were.
Again he wondered what he was doing there, when so many things separated him from the man whose hands he was holding. It was then that it became clear to him that the answer was in fact right in front of him.
Charles.
The good mannered, infuriatingly hopeful, brilliant, blue eyed telepath who had dove into freezing waters to save him and had never let go of his hand. Much like now, Charles had not made any indications of wanting to avoid Erik's touch.
Instead, the telepath had held him firmly. Brought him to the surface, prompted him to stay, helped him develop his abilities and had made him feel almost at home. Even after the beach and everything that had happened there, he had still asked him to stay; he had still wanted him.
Charles's fingers moved, intertwining with his own. Rather than shying away from the touch, the telepath was actively seeking it. Instantly his eyes found Charles's face, too close to his own. He was looking at him serenely; the physical contact had seemingly calmed him down.
They say eyes are windows to the soul and as he looked at Charles's eyes now he would agree, for all there was reflected there was care, compassion and hope, always hope. He always felt warmth flood his chest whenever he looked at the telepath. A strange kind of comfort; a sense of belonging. The man in front of him was everything Erik was not but somehow, he was everything he wanted. Not just as a friend and a comrade, he wanted Charles in ways that the other man perhaps would take offence. He had felt the attraction from the moment they had met. It had only escalated during the trip to find the other mutants. At first he had chosen to ignore it, because he had a goal and there was nothing that could interfere with that. Later, after getting to know Charles, he had decided to suppress his wants because he didn't want to risk loosing Charles.
Having lived alone, he had learned to be honest with himself and to not care about other people. He wasn't conflicted about being attracted to another man, such things held no real meaning to him. But he couldn't ignore the probability that the telepath didn't share his views. So he had chosen to stay by his side in any capacity he could. The title of friend would have to suffice.
It was the magnetokinetic the one who first withdrew from the contact, bringing his hands on his lap.
Charles's gaze fell on his fingers, now free of the other man's hold, they felt a little cold.
"My friend," the word tasted strangely bitter in his mouth, "please take care of yourself. I never again want to feel how I did when they took you away, barely hanging on."
Erik shook his head, "No you can't. Not when you are so hesitant to use your ability!"
This stopped Charles on his tracks. His expression revealed that Erik had found the reason behind the uneasiness that the telepath had displayed earlier in the conversation.
"I don't need to have your gift to see that something is bothering you. Ever since you mentioned it at the hospital there was the hint of apprehension. I didn't press you then but now I want to know why," the magnetokinetic said firmly.
Charles seemed hesitant. He got up and moved away a few paces. For a moment he appeared to be thinking about it. He was biting his lower lip, nervously.
"I-I can't Erik, I am sorry." He finally said, with a shake of his head. Turning and walking swiftly towards the door.
The magnetokinetic didn't try to stop him. He let him go, knowing full well that there were some things that couldn't be shared until one was ready. Some memories and experiences were too difficult to talk about and others, Erik doubted he would ever be able to put into words. They would remain hidden, tucked away in a corner of his mind, like secrets are meant to.
What he hadn't suspected though, was that Charles may carry scars of his own, things he couldn't talk about.
So he was left alone in the living room, deep in thought, wondering if he had been fooled by the calm demeanor that the telepath usually showed.
Rating:T
Warnings: AU
Summary:This is a response to an lj prompt about Erik being hurt as Shaw flung him to the pipes and the effects of it all. It will be Charles/Erik. Prompt can be found here: 1stclass-kink.livejournal.com/4418.html
Disclaimer: I still own nothing.
Beta: Arcana Major
"I have to admit that the only situation I was prepared to face was disaster," Charles looked inquisitively around the dinner table, at the young mutants sitting opposite him. "But this is truly wonderful," he concluded as he took another bite of the chicken on his plate.
"Really Charles, you have no faith in my abilities," Raven smiled cockily. She was in her natural blue form, which she tended to adopt whenever she could. To Charles that showed how much she had come to terms with herself and her ability. He was glad for her; she had managed to grow in such a short time.
"On the contrary my dear sister, I greatly respect your abilities, it is your cooking skills that I question," he gave her a teasing look.
"I should be offended but in this instance I have to admit I had help," she replied, briefly crossing her hands in front of her. There was a hint of amusement and arrogance in her voice; overall she seemed quite pleased with herself.
"Help?" Alex questioned, fixing an incredulous glance on the shifter, "You threatened us with castration if we didn't get off our butts to help. in preparing this meal," he gestured to the plates in front of them.
The food wasn't anything elaborate. Chicken with potatoes in the oven accompanied by a green salad and what appeared to be a yellowish sauce.
"Raven…" the telepath said and his tone held a hint of disapproval.
"Don't worry Charles, no one got hurt," she hastened to assure him, glaring daggers at her accuser.
"Yeah, after we banned Alex from the kitchen for breaking three plates," Sean commented absentmindedly before munching another potato.
That earned him the immediate attention of Alex, who pointed at him with his fork as he spoke in protest, "That wasn't my fault! You tripped me."
"That was the third time and I was trying to swipe up the broken pieces!" the redhead provided, putting his utensils down. "I almost cut off a finger in doing so," he added, lifting his right hand to show his thumb that was wrapped in a bandage.
Alex just shrugged as he turned his attention back to his food, "It was your fault for being so clumsy."
"Oh, I was the clumsy one was I?"
Charles resisted the urge to bring his fingers to his temple. Instead he closed his eyes briefly, before addressing the people around him. "Please calm down, it's been some time since we enjoyed a good meal and I would appreciate a degree of quiet if you please."
Both of teens exchanged a brief glance. "Sorry Professor," they muttered simultaneously.
"Here have some sauce, Hank made it, he's a great cook," Raven's words made the blue furred mutant look away shyly. Surely he would be blushing if he had his previous guise.
"Poor bozo, he had to try the three failed attempts you made at chicken roasting before this one," Alex commented with a smile, earning a glare from both the shapeshifter and Hank.
"Alex, what have I told you about addressing Hank like that?" Charles asked, giving a slightly chastising look at the younger man.
It amazed him how childish they could be and yet how many things they had accomplished. Alex in particular had made tremendous progress with his control and his behavior, not that he didn't still need guidance but his efforts so far had been rewarded.
"It's endearing," he replied.
The telepath shook his head slightly before looking at the younger man in the eyes, "I am afraid neither Hank nor Raven find it so."
"I don't mind Professor," the blue furred mutant said.
"Well I do," Raven's yellow eyes sparkled with a hint of indignation as she looked at Alex.
"I made the salad," Sean eagerly informed, diverting the attention of everyone. The redhead seemed very pleased with himself in managing to cut some vegetables and Alex was more than willing to point that out, effectively starting another round of mild bickering.
With a sigh Charles tuned them out, casting his eyes towards Moira who seemed to be enjoying her food and was in the process of complimenting Raven for her cooking. In return, his sister beamed at her no longer paying attention to Alex and Sean.
Erik was sitting at the far end of the table. Content to have been almost forgotten after the first bursts of excitement that had accompanied their arrival at the mansion, mainly from Raven, truth be told. The others, though happy for his return, didn't manage to hide their apprehension for long and had, seemingly decided to give both Erik and themselves some space.
The magnetokinetic was not perturbed by this in the slightest. It gave him relative peace and allowed him to observe freely everything that was going on around him. He particularly enjoyed the youngsters' antics and how Charles reacted to them. Though usually the telepath had about him the same carelessness that the younger mutants displayed, he would on occasion display a more serious attitude more akin to how a teacher would approach and talk to a group of students. Both Erik and Raven had dubbed this the 'professor' mode.
On Erik's lips a hint of a smile appeared as his eyes found Charles's.
How does it feel to be home?
The telepath was surprised to hear the magnetokinetic's voice in his mind, before realizing that the thought was directed at him. Erik was speaking to him and Charles couldn't help but feel a bit confused. He had tried to hide his disappointment when Erik asked him to promise him not to use his powers on him. He had thought they had made progress ever since the magnetokinetic had woken on that hospital bed and had reached out mentally to Charles. Not once had he asked about the helmet and the telepath had felt that Erik had seen that he had no need of it. On the other hand it was a sign of trust that the magnetokinetic had only asked for a promise, even though it was Charles's suspicion that Erik knew that the telepath never ventured to his friends minds uninvited. The truth was that if felt more like a test to Charles. It was like Erik was telling him that if the promise ever was broken then it would be the end of all this, of them.
I am glad to be home. Can't fault them for being a bit…lively.
He answered his friend, trying to quench the bitterness that usually arose whenever he thought of his friendship with Erik breaking. Something must have shown through because he saw the magnetokinetic's brow furrow.
Raven must have noticed something as well since he heard her talk to him, "Are you okay Charles?"
Much to the telepath's dismay it appeared that everyone was now looking attentively at him. All conversation had been halted.
"I am fine. Sorry, must have zoned out," he smiled dismissively as he took another bite from his food, trying to prove his point.
It didn't seem to work as the shifter abruptly reached out and grabbed his wrist, interrupting him, "Look at me Charles. You're not having a headache again are you?"
The telepath almost winced at her question; he hadn't wanted Erik to hear about this.
"No Raven, I feel quite all right. But I would appreciate that the discussion amongst us be conducted in a more serene manner."
"Oh, okay," she replied, the concern receding visibly as she released her brother.
The others seemed to relax as well at his reassurance.
Erik on the other hand was giving him a look, something between worry, curiosity and irritation. He didn't say a thing but the telepath had no doubt he would press him later for an explanation.
.
oOo
.
After lunch, the entire household retreated to one of the lounges. It was one of the more spacious rooms in the manor, with four couches and several armchairs of a design evocative of the baroque period. Neither Raven nor Charles had ever liked it but it was suitable to host several guests which made it ideal for time such as this, when they needed to discuss some things as a team.
"So Professor, what did you have in mind?" Alex was, quite predictably the one to break the silence as they all had taken their places.
They had rearranged the furniture slightly so that they were all in a circle, facing each other. Raven was sitting on the sofa next to Hank, Moira and Charles were sharing another one, Erik, as per doctor's orders was confined to his wheelchair, which didn't appear to displease him as much as was possible because he could move it around without touching it and it gave him a degree of freedom. Sean and Alex had chosen to seat down in two of the armchairs.
Charles's eyes wondered around, taking in the faces of the people around him. They were his friends, his family. He had never imagined that one day he would be back in this house with a group of people with abilities, his brothers in every sense of the word and that he would finally feel at ease, like this was really home.
Life was truly unpredictable but right now Charles was glad that those series of events had brought them all together. All of them were people he trusted, his comrades in arms, but more importantly, they were the ones he wanted to face the future with.
For a moment, his eyes lingered on Erik, before he turned his attention to Alex, "After the events in Cuba some loose ends were not properly addressed."
At the mention of the island, the young mutants couldn't help but cast a glance towards the injured member of their team. Erik was sitting, seemingly unperturbed.
"What do you mean?" Raven questioned as she crossed her hands in front of her. Hank shifted his position, sitting more on the edge of the couch, his legs firmly touching the intricate carpet that covered every inch of the floor.
"During that incident and in our effort to help we have revealed the existence of mutants to the two most powerful governments of the world, assuming they did not have prior knowledge like our CIA did," the telepath made a dismissing motion at that, obviously considering it not very important. Everyone was listening attentively at what he was saying.
"We cannot contain the knowledge; it is too wide spread."
"Couldn't you…" Raven's voice trailed away as she uttered those words tentatively. This was something she didn't usually bring up, the true extent of Charles's abilities. She knew it bothered him and she chose to stir clear of the subject, especially since she was kind of intimidated by that aspect of his power. Even though she knew that Charles would never use it without a very good reason and never against his friends.
The others exchanged inquisitive glances, obviously waiting for an explanation. The shapeshifter was surprised to see that only Erik seemed uninterested. Briefly she wondered if he knew. Despite their expectation neither sibling provided an answer.
Charles side stepped the issue completely and continued, "What we can do is erase any information the CIA may have on us. Not only about the members of our team but any other leads that were provided by the use of Cerebro."
"To what end Professor?" Hank asked.
"We need time, to organize and we also need to give them time to adjust to the idea of the mutants' existence, our existence," the telepath stated, quite firmly.
"That's all nice and good but who will go destroy the files?" Erik's voice was demanding and hard. Irritation was seeping through, it was obvious that he knew the answer to his question and he didn't like it.
"Moira?" questioned Alex, looking at the woman who up till now sat calmly and silently by Charles's side.
"She cannot do this alone, I will go with her," the telepath explained.
"Shouldn't we come with you too Professor?" Alex asked as Sean nodded at his words, showing his agreement and eagerness.
Hank interrupted, "It is something that requires discretion. They have to go in and out without being noticed. You both have very attention grabbing abilities."
Alex seemed about to protest but Charles stopped him, "Hank is right, we need to get in and get out silently."
"Then I can go with you, I can blend in perfectly," Raven said and to prove her point she shifted into one of the agents she had seen walking about the main building in the CIA.
"I don't see why not. This should be quite straightforward. I have located the files, so we won't have to search for them," Moira informed with a smile.
A strange metallic sound was heard, startling everyone. Looking for the source of the sound, they saw that one of the lamps had been broken, its metal decorations and parts were twisted, having folded into themselves, crushing the porcelain underneath. Charles looked at Erik whose face was a mask of displeasure.
"Can you please leave me and Erik alone for a moment," he asked.
Everyone obliged, filling out of the room somewhat reluctantly, with Raven closing the door behind her.
"Why do this now?" Erik demanded rather than posing a question. His voice was hard.
When I can't come with you? When I can't protect you?
The thoughts running through his mind weren't rational, he knew that. It was the urge he couldn't control when it came to Charles, an almost primal need to protect him. He didn't voice them.
"We have already delayed it too much," the telepath replied calmly, in an almost conversational tone, as he got up from his seat and moved a few paces away from the sofa.
The magnetokinetic gave a nod. He knew it was true, this had to be done. But he didn't want Charles going there without him. Raven was good for an infiltration and relatively adequate in hand to hand combat but she was not enough if this went south. Moira on the other hand had training but Erik couldn't trust her, he wanted to be there, to make sure…
"I should-"
The telepath cut him off with a firm shake of the head, "You should concentrate on getting better."
"But-"
Turning to face the magnetokinetic, he sought to make eye contact, "Erik, please. Trust me, this is nothing, there is almost no risk."
The assurance didn't have an effect on the magnetokinetic.
Almost doesn't mean no risk at all.
"I thought we were doing this together." Erik stated.
The telepath nodded, looking at his friend squarely in the eyes, there was something there that the magnetokinetic couldn't quite place and it bothered him. "We are, but this is something that has to be tended to right now. We don't know if or when they may move those files."
"You are going there to erase the memories of the people who know about our identities aren't you?" Again, it was more a statement than a question and something nudged at Erik's mind as he spoke those words.
Somehow, though veiled, his words had made Charles a little uncomfortable. It became apparent when he evaded the other man's eyes as he spoke this time. "Yes, that is what I intend to do. Though I do not know how well it will work."
"When did you decide all this?"
Charles rubbed his forehead, he could feel the tingling of an incoming headache. He had expected Erik's reaction and he had to make his friend see that this was the only thing they could do now, under the circumstances. "Today, when Moira told me she had confirmed exactly where those files are. She will arrange a meeting with the people there who have knowledge of us, of this team."
"I will come with you."
"Absolutely not!" the telepath made a firm motion with his right hand, "You are in no condition. You just got out of the hospital-"
"I am fine!" the magnetokinetic insisted, gripping the metallic chair and lifting himself up to demonstrate the truth of his words.
"No you are not! Please Erik, sit back down!" Charles was pleading, eyes wide with worry.
The dull ache that Erik had felt as he got up, intensified and he gripped his side, wincing.
"Are you in pain?" the telepath was instantly in front of him, his voice filled with anxiety and a hint of fear. The intensity of his feelings was displayed in his eyes, communicating his concern.
"It's nothing, I am okay," Erik grunted as he sat back down to the chair.
"I should get Hank," Charles said but only took a few steps back, his eyes searching for any other signs of distress in his friend's expression or body language.
The magnetokinetic waved a dismissing hand, hoping to stop him from summoning anyone. "No need."
"Perhaps we shouldn't have brought you home so soon," the telepath almost mumbled under his breath.
"I am fine Charles!" Erik pounded his hand on the hand of his wheelchair, exasperated.
"NO YOU ARE NOT!"
Charles's outburst surprised them both, as it was followed by a deep silence. The two men simply stared at each other, disbelief written all over their faces. Two pairs of blue eyes connected.
"I- I'm sorry my friend" the telepath was the first to break the silence, "I didn't mean to yell."
Charles slumped into one of the armchairs, bringing his hand on his face.
"You don't know how difficult those hours were, at the hospital." He took a deep breath, aware that Erik was looking at him tentatively and slightly surprised. He looked at his hands, they were trembling slightly. He hadn't told his friend how some times he would see blood on them, Erik's blood. How the thought of losing him had suffocated him. Even now he felt his breath hitch at the memory.
The magnetokinetic's expression softened, he willed his chair closer, so that he could take Charles's hands into his.
"I am here, I am right here."
The telepath looked up, meeting Erik's eyes. There was sorrow there, reflected inside those bright pools of blue, the magnetokinetic could clearly see it; it was almost palpable.
"But you almost were not."
I almost lost you.
Charles's mental voice held something, it sounded almost like a plea. But Erik didn't know how to answer it, what it was that the telepath was asking of him. Two conflicting emotions arose in him. Sadness, for having caused pain to the person he valued more than anyone in his life and joy, because someone cared deeply enough to feel such sorrow as Charles had.
"You didn't lose me Charles, I am right here, by your side." He spoke, lacing his fingers with the telepath's, examining his slender fingers as they intertwined with his own. Soft hands, unused to hardship, so unlike his callused hands, used to handling weapons and inflicting death. One more proof of how different they were.
Again he wondered what he was doing there, when so many things separated him from the man whose hands he was holding. It was then that it became clear to him that the answer was in fact right in front of him.
Charles.
The good mannered, infuriatingly hopeful, brilliant, blue eyed telepath who had dove into freezing waters to save him and had never let go of his hand. Much like now, Charles had not made any indications of wanting to avoid Erik's touch.
Instead, the telepath had held him firmly. Brought him to the surface, prompted him to stay, helped him develop his abilities and had made him feel almost at home. Even after the beach and everything that had happened there, he had still asked him to stay; he had still wanted him.
Charles's fingers moved, intertwining with his own. Rather than shying away from the touch, the telepath was actively seeking it. Instantly his eyes found Charles's face, too close to his own. He was looking at him serenely; the physical contact had seemingly calmed him down.
They say eyes are windows to the soul and as he looked at Charles's eyes now he would agree, for all there was reflected there was care, compassion and hope, always hope. He always felt warmth flood his chest whenever he looked at the telepath. A strange kind of comfort; a sense of belonging. The man in front of him was everything Erik was not but somehow, he was everything he wanted. Not just as a friend and a comrade, he wanted Charles in ways that the other man perhaps would take offence. He had felt the attraction from the moment they had met. It had only escalated during the trip to find the other mutants. At first he had chosen to ignore it, because he had a goal and there was nothing that could interfere with that. Later, after getting to know Charles, he had decided to suppress his wants because he didn't want to risk loosing Charles.
Having lived alone, he had learned to be honest with himself and to not care about other people. He wasn't conflicted about being attracted to another man, such things held no real meaning to him. But he couldn't ignore the probability that the telepath didn't share his views. So he had chosen to stay by his side in any capacity he could. The title of friend would have to suffice.
It was the magnetokinetic the one who first withdrew from the contact, bringing his hands on his lap.
Charles's gaze fell on his fingers, now free of the other man's hold, they felt a little cold.
"My friend," the word tasted strangely bitter in his mouth, "please take care of yourself. I never again want to feel how I did when they took you away, barely hanging on."
Erik shook his head, "No you can't. Not when you are so hesitant to use your ability!"
This stopped Charles on his tracks. His expression revealed that Erik had found the reason behind the uneasiness that the telepath had displayed earlier in the conversation.
"I don't need to have your gift to see that something is bothering you. Ever since you mentioned it at the hospital there was the hint of apprehension. I didn't press you then but now I want to know why," the magnetokinetic said firmly.
Charles seemed hesitant. He got up and moved away a few paces. For a moment he appeared to be thinking about it. He was biting his lower lip, nervously.
"I-I can't Erik, I am sorry." He finally said, with a shake of his head. Turning and walking swiftly towards the door.
The magnetokinetic didn't try to stop him. He let him go, knowing full well that there were some things that couldn't be shared until one was ready. Some memories and experiences were too difficult to talk about and others, Erik doubted he would ever be able to put into words. They would remain hidden, tucked away in a corner of his mind, like secrets are meant to.
What he hadn't suspected though, was that Charles may carry scars of his own, things he couldn't talk about.
So he was left alone in the living room, deep in thought, wondering if he had been fooled by the calm demeanor that the telepath usually showed.