Just when I thought...(warning strong language *LOL*)
everything was going "okay".........
*shakes head sadly*...I know that Vinny Jr's attorney told me that whatever happened from 11/1/04 forward, I am to remember that it's no longer my responsibility.........but, I can't help feeling responsible and I don't think any mother would not feel this way IF........
My ex is a moron in every sense of what that word means and he's only hurting our son, Vinny Jr. For some beaurocratic reason, the monies that the State was supposed to release to my ex, SSI aka social security disability in the form of a trust fund set up for Vinny Jr, well, he has not received these monies yet.
Instead of having an expectation of the "system" to be its ever so slow moving wheel, he has put a HALT on all of the wrap around theraputic services that have been set up for Vinny Jr. and I mean a HALT to Vinny Jr's individual therapy, family therapy, and this is going to affect Vinny Jr's meds as well.
It's this kind of parenting behavior that have always set myself and my ex at odds. Instead of him thinking of what the child needs and ensuring the child receives the needs, he is only thinking of his pocketbook and has tossed his son's needs aside....it's always been like this....when he announced this past weekend that he put a HALT to all the services until he got that money, $700.00....fucking measly $700.00, I had all I could do to sit calmly and accept this news from him.
But it really pisses me off that I've been crucified by my own country's system...a system that totally failed me as a single mother of 4 children nearly 6 years ago, a system that failed me in 1995 when I was fighting for 6 years to get the School board to get my son into ESE since kindergarten which, 6 years later culminated in a court order envoking his constitutional rights for disabled children.....
and this prick of an ex gets away with having abused his children....gets away with everything.....and now he's going to throw down the drain everything my husband and I have worked to get...all the therapy we've had to fight hard to get for Vinny Jr so that I could in clear conscience believe that I would not be releasing into society a threat of psychopathy that I know my son was born with?????
yet, I got crucified for sticking my neck on the chopping block as a mother fighting for her son. This is the world we now live in....
So, how can I not help but feel responsible? I am calling my attorney tomorrow and I will also be calling Vinny Jr's attorney and advocate. I am sure that they are unaware that his father has put a halt to all the services HE demanded be written in court order...what a fucking moron.
And of course, Vinny Jr knows that his father is manipulating the system over money...so what's happening with Vinny Jr's thought processes? Well, let's see......Justin and I are seeing signs of tattling on sibblings slowly returning....this past weekend especially.
Felicia has a new kitten. She was sleeping in this past Saturday and got up late. Vinny Jr sees the kitten running around playing...picks up the kitten and brings the kitten to me accusing his sister of not taking care of her kitten. Michael has the privilage of studying on weekends because we are strictly enforcing his need to be responsible for his education. Vinny Jr sees Michael in the kitchen getting a drink and comes to me to report that his brother is not serving his consequence. WTF????????????????
Yes, without continued intensive therapy Vinny Jr will revert back to his old behaviors which have taken so long to change. He's not stupid by any means, he's a child with a genius IQ and an attitude of defiance. Can you put two and two together as to where this is heading? I know I can.
Justin mentioned to me tonight that a little conversation took place between him and Vinny Jr this past weekend that he didn't think much of...but it is a BIG deal...anything little is a BIG deal because it's Vinny Jr talking and not my other children. Vinny Jr is nearly 16 years old and can well enough prepare breakfast for himself...but I make special breakfasts on the weekends because Felicia and Michael eat breakfast and lunch at school, they prefer to eat at school. Vinny Jr mentioned breakfast to Justin after having slept in late...Justin told him that there was plenty of food in the house and to feel comfortable to make his own breakfast...mind you Vinny Jr CHOSE to sleep in late. But instead of seeing this positively, an opportunity to practice life skills which he is working on at the recommentation of his therapist, Vinny Jr was myft at Justin for even suggesting he (Vinny Jr) make his own breakfast.
See? I see it so clearly...the manipulations starting to come back.....Vinny Jr will hold this...he was a bit angry with Justin for this suggestion...but he will hold it ... and then the vengeful behavior will show up at some point...and Vinny Jr will take revenge because he DIDN'T GET HIS OWN WAY....
Yes, it's really Vinny Jr's mindset that he must have his own way all the time...this has been the root of all of the years of therapy and counseling...to teach Vinny Jr that life is not going to be fair, that he will not get his way in this world, and that lashing out irrationally/aggressively is definately not going to get him anywhere.....
Now, all of this hangs in the balance...because his stooopid father has put a HALT on his son's well being over fucking money.....what a fucking moron. Sorry for the strong language...it really burns my toast ... it's also like a slap in Justin's face as well as my face because, for the most part, we were the ONLY 2 PARENTS who attended all the court hearings to get services in place that brought Vinny Jr to successfully complete the program in the theraputic group home....and now....I know this judge...
IF SR does not have these services working for Vinny Jr by February, this Judge is going to be totally pissed off at him and it will affect Vinny Jr's ability to live with his father...and then that would leave placing Vinny Jr with Justin and I...and this is a high risk to our family.
Sooooooooo...I am going to call my lawyer and Vinny Jr's lawyer tomorrow...I've had a few days to calm down about this situation and think about it. Justin and I have finally had a moment to discuss it this evening....tis' better to handle a situation with a cool head than blunder into it pissed off....so we'll take these steps first and see what the lawyers have to say .... see if it comes down to an emergency hearing ....
This is the type of parental behavior I so dispise about my ex...it's just mental cruelty he places upon his children...he uses his children...he abuses them mentally this way..
If he really gave a shit about his son...the money would not matter and he'd get Vinny Jr's therapy going...it's ready....the services are ready....it's all lined up...he's the one holding it all up over a measly $700.00
How can he compare his son's mental health to a fucking $700.00????? How can he go to his grave with a clear conscience that he had his son's best interest at heart? The answer is simple..
HE CAN'T.....I can....but he can't.....*bangs head on wall*
*shakes head sadly*...I know that Vinny Jr's attorney told me that whatever happened from 11/1/04 forward, I am to remember that it's no longer my responsibility.........but, I can't help feeling responsible and I don't think any mother would not feel this way IF........
My ex is a moron in every sense of what that word means and he's only hurting our son, Vinny Jr. For some beaurocratic reason, the monies that the State was supposed to release to my ex, SSI aka social security disability in the form of a trust fund set up for Vinny Jr, well, he has not received these monies yet.
Instead of having an expectation of the "system" to be its ever so slow moving wheel, he has put a HALT on all of the wrap around theraputic services that have been set up for Vinny Jr. and I mean a HALT to Vinny Jr's individual therapy, family therapy, and this is going to affect Vinny Jr's meds as well.
It's this kind of parenting behavior that have always set myself and my ex at odds. Instead of him thinking of what the child needs and ensuring the child receives the needs, he is only thinking of his pocketbook and has tossed his son's needs aside....it's always been like this....when he announced this past weekend that he put a HALT to all the services until he got that money, $700.00....fucking measly $700.00, I had all I could do to sit calmly and accept this news from him.
But it really pisses me off that I've been crucified by my own country's system...a system that totally failed me as a single mother of 4 children nearly 6 years ago, a system that failed me in 1995 when I was fighting for 6 years to get the School board to get my son into ESE since kindergarten which, 6 years later culminated in a court order envoking his constitutional rights for disabled children.....
and this prick of an ex gets away with having abused his children....gets away with everything.....and now he's going to throw down the drain everything my husband and I have worked to get...all the therapy we've had to fight hard to get for Vinny Jr so that I could in clear conscience believe that I would not be releasing into society a threat of psychopathy that I know my son was born with?????
yet, I got crucified for sticking my neck on the chopping block as a mother fighting for her son. This is the world we now live in....
So, how can I not help but feel responsible? I am calling my attorney tomorrow and I will also be calling Vinny Jr's attorney and advocate. I am sure that they are unaware that his father has put a halt to all the services HE demanded be written in court order...what a fucking moron.
And of course, Vinny Jr knows that his father is manipulating the system over money...so what's happening with Vinny Jr's thought processes? Well, let's see......Justin and I are seeing signs of tattling on sibblings slowly returning....this past weekend especially.
Felicia has a new kitten. She was sleeping in this past Saturday and got up late. Vinny Jr sees the kitten running around playing...picks up the kitten and brings the kitten to me accusing his sister of not taking care of her kitten. Michael has the privilage of studying on weekends because we are strictly enforcing his need to be responsible for his education. Vinny Jr sees Michael in the kitchen getting a drink and comes to me to report that his brother is not serving his consequence. WTF????????????????
Yes, without continued intensive therapy Vinny Jr will revert back to his old behaviors which have taken so long to change. He's not stupid by any means, he's a child with a genius IQ and an attitude of defiance. Can you put two and two together as to where this is heading? I know I can.
Justin mentioned to me tonight that a little conversation took place between him and Vinny Jr this past weekend that he didn't think much of...but it is a BIG deal...anything little is a BIG deal because it's Vinny Jr talking and not my other children. Vinny Jr is nearly 16 years old and can well enough prepare breakfast for himself...but I make special breakfasts on the weekends because Felicia and Michael eat breakfast and lunch at school, they prefer to eat at school. Vinny Jr mentioned breakfast to Justin after having slept in late...Justin told him that there was plenty of food in the house and to feel comfortable to make his own breakfast...mind you Vinny Jr CHOSE to sleep in late. But instead of seeing this positively, an opportunity to practice life skills which he is working on at the recommentation of his therapist, Vinny Jr was myft at Justin for even suggesting he (Vinny Jr) make his own breakfast.
See? I see it so clearly...the manipulations starting to come back.....Vinny Jr will hold this...he was a bit angry with Justin for this suggestion...but he will hold it ... and then the vengeful behavior will show up at some point...and Vinny Jr will take revenge because he DIDN'T GET HIS OWN WAY....
Yes, it's really Vinny Jr's mindset that he must have his own way all the time...this has been the root of all of the years of therapy and counseling...to teach Vinny Jr that life is not going to be fair, that he will not get his way in this world, and that lashing out irrationally/aggressively is definately not going to get him anywhere.....
Now, all of this hangs in the balance...because his stooopid father has put a HALT on his son's well being over fucking money.....what a fucking moron. Sorry for the strong language...it really burns my toast ... it's also like a slap in Justin's face as well as my face because, for the most part, we were the ONLY 2 PARENTS who attended all the court hearings to get services in place that brought Vinny Jr to successfully complete the program in the theraputic group home....and now....I know this judge...
IF SR does not have these services working for Vinny Jr by February, this Judge is going to be totally pissed off at him and it will affect Vinny Jr's ability to live with his father...and then that would leave placing Vinny Jr with Justin and I...and this is a high risk to our family.
Sooooooooo...I am going to call my lawyer and Vinny Jr's lawyer tomorrow...I've had a few days to calm down about this situation and think about it. Justin and I have finally had a moment to discuss it this evening....tis' better to handle a situation with a cool head than blunder into it pissed off....so we'll take these steps first and see what the lawyers have to say .... see if it comes down to an emergency hearing ....
This is the type of parental behavior I so dispise about my ex...it's just mental cruelty he places upon his children...he uses his children...he abuses them mentally this way..
If he really gave a shit about his son...the money would not matter and he'd get Vinny Jr's therapy going...it's ready....the services are ready....it's all lined up...he's the one holding it all up over a measly $700.00
How can he compare his son's mental health to a fucking $700.00????? How can he go to his grave with a clear conscience that he had his son's best interest at heart? The answer is simple..
HE CAN'T.....I can....but he can't.....*bangs head on wall*