Be careful what you wish for Dean Winchester . . . and Supernatural fans, 'cause you just might get it.
This review comes in three parts: (1) An episode summary; (2) An episode review (be warned this review quickly turned into a rant. Apologies.); and (3) A fan theory: Chercher l'Impala!
Summary: Sam seemingly played his Get Out of Hell For Free card and has been living the idyllic life as a hunter. Oh, he's also procured a group of merry men for himself and teemed up with the also recently undead Grampaw Campbell. It's all being done on the down-low so widdle Dean wont find out - until they need him, that is. Speaking of Dean, he is living the apple pie life, but not for the right reasons. Also, some Djinn are poking about trying to pull a Inigo Montoya, "you killed my Father, now prepare to die!" schtick. By the end of the episode I guarantee you that you will, for the first time ever, be rooting for a woman to win Dean's loyalty.
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Discussion
In a shocking turn of events, Hell did not make Sam into less of a mother fucking douche bag mope. Instead, it seems to have incensed his belief that Dean is a child and he has the right to force life choices upon him. Bobby seems to be drinking Sam's funky brand of water since he has also jumped on the, "I know what's best for Dean!" bandwagon of self righteous stupidity.
Let's be honest though, folks, that bandwagon should really be renamed: "Sam and Bobby live vicariously through Dean by making him live the life THEY always wanted via keeping him ignorant of important facts."
Suffice to say - this episode infuriated me in so many ways. Let me list them for you instead of continuing on into the rather undignified rant this was descending into . . .
(1) Sam's total lack if emotional reaction to just about everything. I mean, the guy was trying to redefine the word disinterested.
(2) Hypocritical message points Show? Live a normal and happy life, Dean! vs. You have a duty to hunt!
P.S. If this debate is going to be a large issue of the season, gag me now.
(3) Badly-dyed-eyebrows Granpa Winchester. Where do I start? Let me spare you, everything about his character pissed me off.
(4) Geee Sam, could you be hiding something??? Also, that vile nu!Impala you're trolling around in . . . that is so poseur of you. Oh! While I am at it, could you possibly be more of a self centered ass? No, I do not buy that whole "doing it for Dean's own good," line. Though if that was what you were genuinely trying to do, let's take a moment to recollect all of the times that you made choices behind Dean's back and how well it always turned out for you. Yeah. Not to mention, I would buy it more if you didn't turn around and try and drag him back into hunting the second YOU needed him. Who cares about what Dean needs, right? It is all about you.
(5) By the end of this episode, I was really happy that Dean did not quickly fall into step with Sam's master plans or start marching to wannabe John Winchester aka Grandpa Campbell's tune. That whole little clan of hunters skeeved me out and never did I expect to find myself rooting for Lisa. Never. Not in a million years.
(/rant)
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Theory: Chercher l'Impala
So, just as I was about to post this rant review I was stuck with an idea. A tiny, niggling, thought that wouldn't go away.
Fact: The Imapala (and all the memories associated with it) are what gave Sam enough strength to momentarily wrest control of his body from Lucifer and throw himself and his passenger into the Cage.
Fact: The Impala was thus essential to Lucifer's defeat.
Fact: Sam refused to take the Impala from Dean when he was offered it.
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Theory 1: Sam wants to leave Dean with the Impala in hopes that Dean will take up hunting again or some such maudlin idea.
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Theory 2: Sam is avoiding the Impala.
Sub-theory: Sam is not actually Sam but Lucifer who does not want to go anywhere near the Impala because well, he doesn't want to test his luck/control over his vessel.
Conclusion: Sam never actually got out of the Cage, Lucifer did and his presence on Earth is what is throwing everything out of whack on a Supernatural level. Lucifer is a nexus of power and weird goings on would be caused by that.
Comment 1: This would go far to explain Sam's out-of-sync behavior with Dean and the rest of the world.
Comment 2: Lucifer just got his ass kicked, and his army is locked down tight in Hell - which could explain why he needs to stay incognito.
Comment 3: Puh-leeze. Lucifer is an archangel, why would drinking some salty holy water bother him at all - he aint no demon. Ditto with cutting himself with a demon killing knife.
Comment 4: This is just me running wild, BUT, Luci was sent into the Cage in possession of his Vessel - not so for poor Mikey . . . and you know how devoted Lucifer is to his brother. Perhaps, Luci in his Sam!Vessel has the strength to tear through the metaphysical ether and get to Earth but not so for Mikey in his econo-car Adam!Vessel. We all saw how devoted Luci is to his brother and maybe this is why he needs Dean - to again, make him into Mikey's Vessel.
Comment 5: This totally explains Sam's douchey hair style!!
Just some food for thought, but hear you me - SOMETHING 'AINT RIGHT WITH SAMMY.