so long, so long, bet you saw this one coming...
ok... i'm ok...
i'm not really ok, but i don't deserve to be. karma. yelling at people who drive all shitty. it's karma.
i hate you. i don't, but i'll say it to make myself feel better. i'm over you. i'm not, but it doesn't matter. you're over me. you might not be, but you should be. i don't deserve you. i hate that word. i use it too much. at least thats what you would say, if you were here.
you said once i was too good for you. i don't think you were looking at it from the right angle. it's ok. it's over now. it wasnt that painful, was it? it was.
move on. please. just go. you probably already did. you're at some party, fucking some drunk chick right now. no you're not; it's too early. in a few hours. karma.
this is what i get. i should get this. karma. "i will get what i deserve." guster line, stuck in my head. memories. good times. we had some. not enough.
i did the right thing. did i? maybe. i wish you would have done it. i hope that you're happy. you may not be right now. but i hope you find someone. someone to make you happy. i made you happy once. but find someone who makes you happy without making you feel like shit. you feel like shit right now. that's my fault.
that's ok.
it isn't, but we'll say it to make ourselves feel better. maybe you won't call me. that's a good thing. you need to move on. you need to find someone better than me. i need to find someone ... someone that what? a lover i don't have to love. a lover who doesn't love me.
there is no one else. you are the only one who would put up with me. you might this time to me. no you won't. i pushed it too far. move on.
you'll be ok; i promise. you will. yin and yang, good comes with the bad. love hate relationship. semantics.
you won't be reading this. i hope you aren't. you're moving on. that's good. that's... good. and i'll be ok. i mean, i won't. but it isn't your fault. i did this to myself. please don't feel guilty.
you don't feel guilty. you know i'm like this. you know me well enough to know that none of this means anything. tomorrow we'll be together again. right?
no. no, you need to move on. don't let me do this to you! why? why would you try? you hung up. you said, "ok, bye." and before that, i said i didn't think this was working. it wasn't.
it never is working. that's what makes it us. we'll still be us tomorrow, right? will we? or is this the last time? did you finally get fed up?
i'd like to assume that you're just sulking. you'll call me again, maybe in like an hour. or tomorrow. yesterday you told me not to call you all week. then i came over. and you weren't mad at me. remember?
why do we do this? this is why i said it. this is why i left. or why i made you leave. because we do this. because i do this. it's mainly me, anyway.
but you're side is, what if i didn't do this? what if i made you happy all the time? could i do that? you seem to believe it.
maybe you finally gave up on that thought.
i wish i could. what the fuck is wrong with me? why can't i just be normal? why can't we have a normal relationship? why can't we be happy?
we don't have a relationship anymore. nope. i ended that, today. i mean, i think i did.
i want to call you. this isn't fair to you. why do i keep playing games with you like this? i should just let you go. move on. go.
why are you still here? everytime, why do you stay? what do i do that's so good?
i need to do my math homework. i can't concentrate. i'm crying.
i deserve this.
karma.
this is what i get.
you're better off without me.
okay.
i'm ok.
i'm not, but i'll try to pretend long enough to do my math homework.
fuck, i miss you. call me. i want to work things out. i should call you. but i don't want to do this to you anymore. i want to let you go, let you be happy. let you be without me. i need to die. i don't deserve to stay alive. if i'm alive, you'll come back to me. and i'll hurt you.
i need you. don't come back. don't. just go. don't let me hurt you anymore.
i'm sorry.