Fic: The Hummel-Puckermans
Title: The Hummel-Puckermans
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt
Genre: Humor/Family
Warning: Slash
Spoilers: Season 1 I guess
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
Author Notes: This was my first fanfic, please be kind!
Summary: Future fic. The boys move house and their new neighbour is very interested in Puck and his sexy arms.
Normally Gina wasn’t too bothered when new people moved into the neighbourhood. Sure she’d bring over some food and introduce herself but she certainly had never almost-stalked them peering around her curtains to get a glimpse of them. Then again her neighbours had never been a gorgeous hunk with tanned skin and sexy arms.
The guy was drop dead gorgeous, wearing hip and thigh hugging blue jeans and a black t-shirt, muscles rippling as he carried what she supposed were heavy boxes into the house. After drooling over him for a few minutes Gina watched as another man stepped out of the house and started gesturing as if explaining which boxes should be taken inside next. He was a similar height to hunky new neighbour man, as Gina had decided to call him, but this new guy was a slimmer build and fabulously dressed in what no doubt were very expensive designer clothes. His voice was also unusually high Gina noticed as he yelled “What are you doing? Not that one Neanderthal!” before disappearing back into the house.
“Oh God you really are a stalker!” She moaned aloud “Okay girl this is crazy just go over there and introduce yourself.” Five minutes later she was standing on hunky new neighbour man‘s path waiting for him to come back out of the house.
“Err hello?” the hunk smiled questioningly at her from the side gate which lead to his back garden.
“Oh” she took a quick breath “Hi I’m Gina, I live opposite. Thought I’d come say hello!” She gave a friendly smile.
“Hey, I’m Puck. Come on through to the garden.” He shook the hand she offered and led the way to good sized garden which was filled with cardboard boxes.
“Puck?” Gina smiled “Like the fairy?”
Puck looked shocked for a moment before letting out a loud laugh “Yeah something like that.”
A little girl around four or five came running out of the house and hurled herself towards Puck “Hey there’s my girl” he said swinging her into his arms. “This is Gina she lives in the house across the road” he looked back at Gina with a swoon worthy grin “This little monster is Cara.”
“Hi Cara, nice to meet you.” So Puck had a daughter, it wasn’t necessarily a lost cause maybe he was divorced or something.
“Hey.”
The tiny brunette had long soft looking hair that fell neatly down her back with a blue ribbon keeping it in place, she wore a gorgeous pale blue dress with full skirt, frilly socks and shiny patent leather shoes. Her outfit was put together far too well for a single father to have dressed her Gina decided looking around for Puck’s wife with a rising sense of disappointment.
“Oh cool drawing stuff!” Cara squealed noticing a small pink blanket that had been spread out on the lawn with pens and paper set out waiting for her.
Puck set her down on the blanket “Knock yourself out munchkin.”
“So where are you from?” Gina asked once he had turned his attention back to her.
Puck winced slightly “Lima, Ohio originally but until recently we were living in New York.”
“New York? I’m surprised you’d want to leave” Gina didn’t picture him as the type to move to the suburbs once he hit thirty.
“Yeah it was totally awesome but work commitments changed a few years ago and now seemed like a good time for a change.”
“What’s your line of work?” she asked genuinely interested.
“I’m a lawyer” Puck replied just as there was an almighty crash from inside the house.
“I’ll just go check on my little designer” he said with a worried look towards the house “You mind keeping an eye on her for a sec?”
“No not at all” Gina smiled. So the other man was Puck’s interior designer then.
“Thanks” he said rushing towards the house “”Stay put Care-bear.” Cara just nodded and carried on drawing.
“Your dad sure is a handsome guy” Gina murmured wistfully.
“Yeah he’s a total stud” Cara announced looking down at her picture as she said it, missing Gina’s shocked expression.
“So where is your Mommy?” With any luck he’d be a single parent starved of female companionship. Companionship was something Gina didn’t mind supplying to that stud.
“I don’t have a Mommy” Cara replied reaching for a different crayon.
Gina felt guilty for smiling but couldn’t help thinking that it was her lucky day. Not that she was happy that the little cutie in front of her didn’t have a mom but it certainly increased her chance of getting a date with the kid’s dad. Cara didn’t even seem to be particularly bothered that she only had Puck which probably indicated the sort of father he was.
“Oh well maybe I could do Mommy things with you?” she said with an encouraging smile.
“Urr like what?”
Gina racked her brain for something that little girls like doing. “Like shopping and we could have tea parties and you know... girl time” She was stumped by Cara’s confused expression. You would think the girl would be desperate for some female attention with a dad like Puck but maybe she was used to only doing macho things with him.
“But that’s what daddy is for.”
“Excuse me?” There was no way a mans-man like Puck played tea parties surely?
Cara gave Gina a well duh look “I do all of that with my daddy”. She took a deep breath “Daddy is fabulous and fierce, he makes me dresses and we play project catwalk or we play glee club and he makes yummy healthy food so my butt won’t look like a slushy!” she stated matter of factly.
Y- Your Daddy sings and makes you dresses?” Gina asked in total shock.
“Yeah he used to sing songs on Broadway. That’s in New York!” she gushed “And now he draws clothes. How cool is he?!”
“Oh ummm very” Gina replied reeling from all the information she had just received, trying to connect it to the extremely masculine man inside the house.
“I thought your dad said he was a lawyer?” Cara gave her another are you stupid? look which was strangely disconcerting coming from a five year old.
“Yeeaah he is” Cara took the lack of a response as an opportunity to start gushing about her father again. “Dad is totally awesome! He plays dinosaurs with me and we watch Bill and Ted and he reads me stories and sneaks me cakes!” she finished with a grin.
It was adorable how much the girl obviously adored her father. But what a contradiction - an ex-Broadway Star, now lawyer who feeds her healthy food and sneaks her cakes.
“He does sound pretty awesome” and he looks like he’d be pretty awesome in bed she added in her head.
“Yep he’s a total Badass!” The grin slipped off her face and she slapped a hand over her mouth. Glancing over her shoulder she said “Oops Daddy doesn’t like that word.”
Once the initial shock wore off Gina had trouble keeping a straight face “Yes *ahem* I can see why.”
Cara scowled and muttered “Dad says it all the time! Dunno why he doesn’t get his mouth washed out!”
Gina was saved from having to think of a reply by Puck’s interior designer stepping into the garden. “Cara sweetheart...”
“I didn’t say it.”
“Didn’t say what?”
“The B word.”
“Oh. Well done then” he said with a smirk obviously not believing a word Puck’s daughter said.
“Hi, sorry, I’m Kurt” he held his hand out. She felt slightly uncomfortable as his gaze took in her casual outfit. “You’ll have to excuse me I’m a total mess” he smiled. Gina was pretty sure she’d never seen anyone less of a mess, his hair was perfectly styled and his outfit was immaculately put together which made her wonder what he looked like normally if that was meant to be a mess.
“Gina, I live opposite.”
Kurt nodded “So Noah tells me.”
“Noah?” There was another guy around?
Kurt frowned “He still insists on using that flipping nickname” he muttered censoring his language in case Cara heard. “I mean Puck.”
“Kurt? Hey Kurt, dude where do you want your sewing machine put?” Puck yelled from somewhere inside the house.
“In my studio” Kurt yelled back turning towards the house.
“Err which room is that again?”
Kurt rolled his eyes “Leave it at the bottom of the stairs. I’ll sort it out.” Turning back to face Gina he shook his head “Men!” he said with a huff.
Gina just smiled and nodded but her mind was racing. This Kurt guy had a studio in Puck’s house and going by that Louis Vuitton luggage by the door it was probably safe to say he was going to be living there. Who lives with their decorator?
“Daddy!” Cara yelled demanding attention.
“What sweetie?” Kurt replied.
Okay now that was seriously weird. Puck was her father right? Although now she thought about it Gina couldn’t remember the little girl calling him that and maybe him calling her ‘my girl’ was a term of affection. Looking closer, Cara did look a lot like Kurt with soft brown hair, green/blue eyes and pale skin. Gina had been sure that Kurt was capital G gay but some gay guys had kids she supposed or maybe he was straight and she’d been thrown by his voice and style.
“I see you’ve met my better half” Puck smiled at Kurt as he stepped back into the garden.
“I’m sorry?” Gina asked confused.
Puck nudged Cara and stage whispered “Wild Stallions.”
She beamed at him before jumping up and turning to Gina “Let me introduce us all.”
“HE” Pointing at Puck “Is Noah ‘Puck’ Hummel-Puckerman.” She paused for dramatic effect.
“And HE” pointing now at Kurt “Is Kurt ‘Porcelain’ Hummel-Puckerman.” She paused again enjoying being the centre of attention to much to notice Gina’s shocked expression.
“And I” at this point Cara spread her arms wide “AM Cara McQueen ‘Care-bear’ Hummel-Puckerman” she took a deep breath “and together we are the Hummel-Puckermans!” She played air guitar for a moment then took a bow.
Kurt smiled down at her in amusement as Puck said “Totally awesome” and gave Cara a high five followed by a fist bump. He then turned and held out his fist to Kurt who rolled his eyes but bumped fists trying to hide a grin.
Cara let out a loud “Whoooop” and ran into the house yelling something about a real guitar.
Gina glanced between the two men in front of her several times “So you’re a couple?”
“Yep I’m one lucky dude” Puck’s expression softened as he looked into Kurt’s eyes and dropped a kiss onto his nose.
Attempting to hide her shock and disappointment Gina nodded, her mind still playing catch up “And Cara is Kurt’s daughter?”
“No she’s ours” they both answered at the same time.
At her confused expression Puck took pity on her “Well technically Kurt is her biological father, we mixed our stuff together and had a surrogate or whatever. Kurt’s little swimmers are obviously faster than mine” he admitted with a little chagrin.
Kurt looked horrified “Noah! Too much information!”
Puck didn’t even pretend to be bothered. “But don’t get me wrong or anything, mine totally work! I knocked up by best friend’s girl in high school” he said earnestly.
“There, there, Noah. You’re still a stud” Kurt patted him on the arm.
Puck lent towards Gina “I think I love her more coz she’s a bit of him you know, my very own mini-Kurt” he stage whispered.
“Noah” Kurt let out in a breathy whisper his eyes filling with emotion.
And that’s my cue to leave Gina thought.
“She seemed nice” Puck said as he waved to her retreating figure.
Kurt gave him his patented Bitch Please face as they walked into the house “Oh Noah have you lost all your ability to read women? She totally wanted to get into your pants.”
Puck grinned “That’s coz I’m a stud” he flexed his muscles “You Jealous?”
Kurt raised an eyebrow “Not at all. I actually get in your pants.”
“Do ya wanna?” Puck asked as he side stepped a couple of cardboard boxes stalking towards Kurt, only to be interrupted -
“Dad what’s in your pants and why would Daddy want in them? They’re from Wal-Mart!” Cara gasped in horror.
Rating: PG-13
Pairing(s): Puck/Kurt
Genre: Humor/Family
Warning: Slash
Spoilers: Season 1 I guess
Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
Author Notes: This was my first fanfic, please be kind!
Summary: Future fic. The boys move house and their new neighbour is very interested in Puck and his sexy arms.
Normally Gina wasn’t too bothered when new people moved into the neighbourhood. Sure she’d bring over some food and introduce herself but she certainly had never almost-stalked them peering around her curtains to get a glimpse of them. Then again her neighbours had never been a gorgeous hunk with tanned skin and sexy arms.
The guy was drop dead gorgeous, wearing hip and thigh hugging blue jeans and a black t-shirt, muscles rippling as he carried what she supposed were heavy boxes into the house. After drooling over him for a few minutes Gina watched as another man stepped out of the house and started gesturing as if explaining which boxes should be taken inside next. He was a similar height to hunky new neighbour man, as Gina had decided to call him, but this new guy was a slimmer build and fabulously dressed in what no doubt were very expensive designer clothes. His voice was also unusually high Gina noticed as he yelled “What are you doing? Not that one Neanderthal!” before disappearing back into the house.
“Oh God you really are a stalker!” She moaned aloud “Okay girl this is crazy just go over there and introduce yourself.” Five minutes later she was standing on hunky new neighbour man‘s path waiting for him to come back out of the house.
“Err hello?” the hunk smiled questioningly at her from the side gate which lead to his back garden.
“Oh” she took a quick breath “Hi I’m Gina, I live opposite. Thought I’d come say hello!” She gave a friendly smile.
“Hey, I’m Puck. Come on through to the garden.” He shook the hand she offered and led the way to good sized garden which was filled with cardboard boxes.
“Puck?” Gina smiled “Like the fairy?”
Puck looked shocked for a moment before letting out a loud laugh “Yeah something like that.”
A little girl around four or five came running out of the house and hurled herself towards Puck “Hey there’s my girl” he said swinging her into his arms. “This is Gina she lives in the house across the road” he looked back at Gina with a swoon worthy grin “This little monster is Cara.”
“Hi Cara, nice to meet you.” So Puck had a daughter, it wasn’t necessarily a lost cause maybe he was divorced or something.
“Hey.”
The tiny brunette had long soft looking hair that fell neatly down her back with a blue ribbon keeping it in place, she wore a gorgeous pale blue dress with full skirt, frilly socks and shiny patent leather shoes. Her outfit was put together far too well for a single father to have dressed her Gina decided looking around for Puck’s wife with a rising sense of disappointment.
“Oh cool drawing stuff!” Cara squealed noticing a small pink blanket that had been spread out on the lawn with pens and paper set out waiting for her.
Puck set her down on the blanket “Knock yourself out munchkin.”
“So where are you from?” Gina asked once he had turned his attention back to her.
Puck winced slightly “Lima, Ohio originally but until recently we were living in New York.”
“New York? I’m surprised you’d want to leave” Gina didn’t picture him as the type to move to the suburbs once he hit thirty.
“Yeah it was totally awesome but work commitments changed a few years ago and now seemed like a good time for a change.”
“What’s your line of work?” she asked genuinely interested.
“I’m a lawyer” Puck replied just as there was an almighty crash from inside the house.
“I’ll just go check on my little designer” he said with a worried look towards the house “You mind keeping an eye on her for a sec?”
“No not at all” Gina smiled. So the other man was Puck’s interior designer then.
“Thanks” he said rushing towards the house “”Stay put Care-bear.” Cara just nodded and carried on drawing.
“Your dad sure is a handsome guy” Gina murmured wistfully.
“Yeah he’s a total stud” Cara announced looking down at her picture as she said it, missing Gina’s shocked expression.
“So where is your Mommy?” With any luck he’d be a single parent starved of female companionship. Companionship was something Gina didn’t mind supplying to that stud.
“I don’t have a Mommy” Cara replied reaching for a different crayon.
Gina felt guilty for smiling but couldn’t help thinking that it was her lucky day. Not that she was happy that the little cutie in front of her didn’t have a mom but it certainly increased her chance of getting a date with the kid’s dad. Cara didn’t even seem to be particularly bothered that she only had Puck which probably indicated the sort of father he was.
“Oh well maybe I could do Mommy things with you?” she said with an encouraging smile.
“Urr like what?”
Gina racked her brain for something that little girls like doing. “Like shopping and we could have tea parties and you know... girl time” She was stumped by Cara’s confused expression. You would think the girl would be desperate for some female attention with a dad like Puck but maybe she was used to only doing macho things with him.
“But that’s what daddy is for.”
“Excuse me?” There was no way a mans-man like Puck played tea parties surely?
Cara gave Gina a well duh look “I do all of that with my daddy”. She took a deep breath “Daddy is fabulous and fierce, he makes me dresses and we play project catwalk or we play glee club and he makes yummy healthy food so my butt won’t look like a slushy!” she stated matter of factly.
Y- Your Daddy sings and makes you dresses?” Gina asked in total shock.
“Yeah he used to sing songs on Broadway. That’s in New York!” she gushed “And now he draws clothes. How cool is he?!”
“Oh ummm very” Gina replied reeling from all the information she had just received, trying to connect it to the extremely masculine man inside the house.
“I thought your dad said he was a lawyer?” Cara gave her another are you stupid? look which was strangely disconcerting coming from a five year old.
“Yeeaah he is” Cara took the lack of a response as an opportunity to start gushing about her father again. “Dad is totally awesome! He plays dinosaurs with me and we watch Bill and Ted and he reads me stories and sneaks me cakes!” she finished with a grin.
It was adorable how much the girl obviously adored her father. But what a contradiction - an ex-Broadway Star, now lawyer who feeds her healthy food and sneaks her cakes.
“He does sound pretty awesome” and he looks like he’d be pretty awesome in bed she added in her head.
“Yep he’s a total Badass!” The grin slipped off her face and she slapped a hand over her mouth. Glancing over her shoulder she said “Oops Daddy doesn’t like that word.”
Once the initial shock wore off Gina had trouble keeping a straight face “Yes *ahem* I can see why.”
Cara scowled and muttered “Dad says it all the time! Dunno why he doesn’t get his mouth washed out!”
Gina was saved from having to think of a reply by Puck’s interior designer stepping into the garden. “Cara sweetheart...”
“I didn’t say it.”
“Didn’t say what?”
“The B word.”
“Oh. Well done then” he said with a smirk obviously not believing a word Puck’s daughter said.
“Hi, sorry, I’m Kurt” he held his hand out. She felt slightly uncomfortable as his gaze took in her casual outfit. “You’ll have to excuse me I’m a total mess” he smiled. Gina was pretty sure she’d never seen anyone less of a mess, his hair was perfectly styled and his outfit was immaculately put together which made her wonder what he looked like normally if that was meant to be a mess.
“Gina, I live opposite.”
Kurt nodded “So Noah tells me.”
“Noah?” There was another guy around?
Kurt frowned “He still insists on using that flipping nickname” he muttered censoring his language in case Cara heard. “I mean Puck.”
“Kurt? Hey Kurt, dude where do you want your sewing machine put?” Puck yelled from somewhere inside the house.
“In my studio” Kurt yelled back turning towards the house.
“Err which room is that again?”
Kurt rolled his eyes “Leave it at the bottom of the stairs. I’ll sort it out.” Turning back to face Gina he shook his head “Men!” he said with a huff.
Gina just smiled and nodded but her mind was racing. This Kurt guy had a studio in Puck’s house and going by that Louis Vuitton luggage by the door it was probably safe to say he was going to be living there. Who lives with their decorator?
“Daddy!” Cara yelled demanding attention.
“What sweetie?” Kurt replied.
Okay now that was seriously weird. Puck was her father right? Although now she thought about it Gina couldn’t remember the little girl calling him that and maybe him calling her ‘my girl’ was a term of affection. Looking closer, Cara did look a lot like Kurt with soft brown hair, green/blue eyes and pale skin. Gina had been sure that Kurt was capital G gay but some gay guys had kids she supposed or maybe he was straight and she’d been thrown by his voice and style.
“I see you’ve met my better half” Puck smiled at Kurt as he stepped back into the garden.
“I’m sorry?” Gina asked confused.
Puck nudged Cara and stage whispered “Wild Stallions.”
She beamed at him before jumping up and turning to Gina “Let me introduce us all.”
“HE” Pointing at Puck “Is Noah ‘Puck’ Hummel-Puckerman.” She paused for dramatic effect.
“And HE” pointing now at Kurt “Is Kurt ‘Porcelain’ Hummel-Puckerman.” She paused again enjoying being the centre of attention to much to notice Gina’s shocked expression.
“And I” at this point Cara spread her arms wide “AM Cara McQueen ‘Care-bear’ Hummel-Puckerman” she took a deep breath “and together we are the Hummel-Puckermans!” She played air guitar for a moment then took a bow.
Kurt smiled down at her in amusement as Puck said “Totally awesome” and gave Cara a high five followed by a fist bump. He then turned and held out his fist to Kurt who rolled his eyes but bumped fists trying to hide a grin.
Cara let out a loud “Whoooop” and ran into the house yelling something about a real guitar.
Gina glanced between the two men in front of her several times “So you’re a couple?”
“Yep I’m one lucky dude” Puck’s expression softened as he looked into Kurt’s eyes and dropped a kiss onto his nose.
Attempting to hide her shock and disappointment Gina nodded, her mind still playing catch up “And Cara is Kurt’s daughter?”
“No she’s ours” they both answered at the same time.
At her confused expression Puck took pity on her “Well technically Kurt is her biological father, we mixed our stuff together and had a surrogate or whatever. Kurt’s little swimmers are obviously faster than mine” he admitted with a little chagrin.
Kurt looked horrified “Noah! Too much information!”
Puck didn’t even pretend to be bothered. “But don’t get me wrong or anything, mine totally work! I knocked up by best friend’s girl in high school” he said earnestly.
“There, there, Noah. You’re still a stud” Kurt patted him on the arm.
Puck lent towards Gina “I think I love her more coz she’s a bit of him you know, my very own mini-Kurt” he stage whispered.
“Noah” Kurt let out in a breathy whisper his eyes filling with emotion.
And that’s my cue to leave Gina thought.
“She seemed nice” Puck said as he waved to her retreating figure.
Kurt gave him his patented Bitch Please face as they walked into the house “Oh Noah have you lost all your ability to read women? She totally wanted to get into your pants.”
Puck grinned “That’s coz I’m a stud” he flexed his muscles “You Jealous?”
Kurt raised an eyebrow “Not at all. I actually get in your pants.”
“Do ya wanna?” Puck asked as he side stepped a couple of cardboard boxes stalking towards Kurt, only to be interrupted -
“Dad what’s in your pants and why would Daddy want in them? They’re from Wal-Mart!” Cara gasped in horror.