Title-less M/G fic draft, Running Out of Time
Here's the draft for my previously mentioned fic concerning Pen's ticking clock and desire for motherhood. This is a ROUGH draft, but, here it is.
A/N: This has been in my brain for about a month now- it’s angsty, and hard for me cause it’s a matter close to my heart as well, but… it seems like it needs to be told. AU-ish
I own nothing, of course.
Oh, and this chapter takes some small liberties with “Memoriam”
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With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood. ~Isadora Duncan
“Another year, another wrinkle.” Penelope regarded herself critically in the mirror. She was nearing 35, and along with it, crows feet. “Smile lines, they’re smile lines.” She tried tell herself that age meant nothing, but she couldn’t help but think back to all the things she had hoped to have accomplished in her life before she ever got here. Husband, children, good job… well, she had the good job, at least.
Today she was attending, with JJ and Emily, a baby shower for yet another agent. There had been a near baby boom in Quantico, and it was driving Penelope nearly mad. She couldn’t remember anything she had ever wanted to be more than a mother. As a child she had seen herself with the whole shebang- 2.5 kids, handsome husband, house in the suburbs. But now, as cliché as it sounded, her clock was ticking, and ticking loudly.
Of her childhood dreams, only one part really mattered to her, now, and only that single thing was worth doing alone.
__________________________________________________________________________________
As usual, Penelope was the life of the party; she always brought the most interesting gift, and was the most fun with the games. Only JJ and Emily, after working so long with Garcia, realized there was something not quite right with their bubbly friend. Her smile seemed forced, her laughter, a little strained. They shared a glance, silently agreeing to discuss it later, and supported Penelope’s ruse.
Later, after each woman had a glass of wine in hand and was relaxed in Penelope’s quirky living room, JJ felt it was time to broach the subject.
“Hey, Pen, everything okay with you?” JJ’s expressive, kind eyes showed plainly her concern.
Penelope was stirred from her own introspective thoughts. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine kitten, why do you ask?”
Emily came to sit next to her. “Garcia, you do realize you work with profilers?”
Penelope stood up abruptly. “God I hate profilers, have I mentioned that recently enough?” She crossed her arms and stared out the window. “You guys know I’m 35 next week? There’s so much I wanted…” She shook herself and turned around to smile brightly at her friends. “Don’t worry over me, pretties, I’m fine.”
She sat back down next to Emily. “More wine?”
The girls left shortly thereafter and Penelope sighed in relief. She knew she was really still young, when it came down to it, women were now having children into their forties. That didn’t make hear heart ache less, the longing for a child of her own any less painful.
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One Year Later
Sitting in her bunker, Garcia looked over at JJ who is wincing and rubbing her round, very pregnant belly.
“What’s with the wincing?”
JJ offered a strained smile and muttered. “I’m fine, really.”
Penelope pinned the other woman with a stern look. “How often?”
JJ laughed, then winced again. “In the last hour, I’d say maybe every ten minutes?”
“JJ why didn’t you tell anyone?”
JJ started ahead, stubbornly. “Because I’m not due for another three weeks.”
Penelope laughed. “Newsflash, you’re in labor!”
JJ shook her head. “No no no, ‘cause Reid needs us right now-“
Penelope interrupted her. “No, you need you right now! Come on, get up!” Penelope steered JJ into the bullpen, making a point to get Hotch and Emily’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not a doctor, I don’t even play one on TV, but I believe young JJ’s in labor…”
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Penelope stood back against the wall in the small room. JJ was resting after her long labor, and Will was staring adoringly at her. Emily had left to get them all drinks, and Hotch was calling in the rest of the team who had just finished up in Las Vegas. Penelope looked up at a knock on the door, thinking it was Emily, and her excuse to leave, but it was just the nurse bringing Henry into the room in a wheeled incubator. Penelope watched, uncomfortable, as JJ woke and beamed up at Will before he handed a sleepy Henry into her arms. It was an intimate moment, too intimate, she thought, for her to witness.
Luckily at that moment, Emily and Hotch came back, easing Penelope’s discomfort. Shortly after, Reid knocked on the doorframe, shyly asking , “Room for one more?” The group stepped out of the room to get coffee, meeting Morgan in the hallway on the way back to JJ’s room. Penelope smiled up at him, but didn’t say anything, immediately cluing him into the fact that something was not quite right with his baby girl. He suddenly thought back to the conversation JJ and Emily had had with him, over a year ago now, and their suspicion about what might be bothering the spunky computer genius. He reached out and grabbed her hand.
“What, no welcome home?” He smiled at her winningly.
“Sorry hotstuff, little Henry trumps even your good looks today.” She smiled, softy, almost wistfully.
“Hey, no, I think we should stay out here for a bit…” He steered her into a chair, and wrapped a strong, heavy arm around her shoulders. “So, are you gonna tell me what’s eating you?” He was prepared for an emotional response, but he didn’t expect the slow tear that trailed down her face. “Hey, hey, sweetheart… whatever it is, it’ll be okay-“
She sniffed, and wiped the tear from her face. “Yeah, it will be. I’ve just got to stop waiting for someone else to make my dreams a reality.” She kissed his cheek softly. “See you Monday sweetness.” He stared after her, concern lining his forehead.
A/N: This has been in my brain for about a month now- it’s angsty, and hard for me cause it’s a matter close to my heart as well, but… it seems like it needs to be told. AU-ish
I own nothing, of course.
Oh, and this chapter takes some small liberties with “Memoriam”
__________________________________________________________________
With what price we pay for the glory of motherhood. ~Isadora Duncan
“Another year, another wrinkle.” Penelope regarded herself critically in the mirror. She was nearing 35, and along with it, crows feet. “Smile lines, they’re smile lines.” She tried tell herself that age meant nothing, but she couldn’t help but think back to all the things she had hoped to have accomplished in her life before she ever got here. Husband, children, good job… well, she had the good job, at least.
Today she was attending, with JJ and Emily, a baby shower for yet another agent. There had been a near baby boom in Quantico, and it was driving Penelope nearly mad. She couldn’t remember anything she had ever wanted to be more than a mother. As a child she had seen herself with the whole shebang- 2.5 kids, handsome husband, house in the suburbs. But now, as cliché as it sounded, her clock was ticking, and ticking loudly.
Of her childhood dreams, only one part really mattered to her, now, and only that single thing was worth doing alone.
__________________________________________________________________________________
As usual, Penelope was the life of the party; she always brought the most interesting gift, and was the most fun with the games. Only JJ and Emily, after working so long with Garcia, realized there was something not quite right with their bubbly friend. Her smile seemed forced, her laughter, a little strained. They shared a glance, silently agreeing to discuss it later, and supported Penelope’s ruse.
Later, after each woman had a glass of wine in hand and was relaxed in Penelope’s quirky living room, JJ felt it was time to broach the subject.
“Hey, Pen, everything okay with you?” JJ’s expressive, kind eyes showed plainly her concern.
Penelope was stirred from her own introspective thoughts. “What? Oh, yeah, I’m fine kitten, why do you ask?”
Emily came to sit next to her. “Garcia, you do realize you work with profilers?”
Penelope stood up abruptly. “God I hate profilers, have I mentioned that recently enough?” She crossed her arms and stared out the window. “You guys know I’m 35 next week? There’s so much I wanted…” She shook herself and turned around to smile brightly at her friends. “Don’t worry over me, pretties, I’m fine.”
She sat back down next to Emily. “More wine?”
The girls left shortly thereafter and Penelope sighed in relief. She knew she was really still young, when it came down to it, women were now having children into their forties. That didn’t make hear heart ache less, the longing for a child of her own any less painful.
___________________________________________________________________________________
One Year Later
Sitting in her bunker, Garcia looked over at JJ who is wincing and rubbing her round, very pregnant belly.
“What’s with the wincing?”
JJ offered a strained smile and muttered. “I’m fine, really.”
Penelope pinned the other woman with a stern look. “How often?”
JJ laughed, then winced again. “In the last hour, I’d say maybe every ten minutes?”
“JJ why didn’t you tell anyone?”
JJ started ahead, stubbornly. “Because I’m not due for another three weeks.”
Penelope laughed. “Newsflash, you’re in labor!”
JJ shook her head. “No no no, ‘cause Reid needs us right now-“
Penelope interrupted her. “No, you need you right now! Come on, get up!” Penelope steered JJ into the bullpen, making a point to get Hotch and Emily’s attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m not a doctor, I don’t even play one on TV, but I believe young JJ’s in labor…”
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Penelope stood back against the wall in the small room. JJ was resting after her long labor, and Will was staring adoringly at her. Emily had left to get them all drinks, and Hotch was calling in the rest of the team who had just finished up in Las Vegas. Penelope looked up at a knock on the door, thinking it was Emily, and her excuse to leave, but it was just the nurse bringing Henry into the room in a wheeled incubator. Penelope watched, uncomfortable, as JJ woke and beamed up at Will before he handed a sleepy Henry into her arms. It was an intimate moment, too intimate, she thought, for her to witness.
Luckily at that moment, Emily and Hotch came back, easing Penelope’s discomfort. Shortly after, Reid knocked on the doorframe, shyly asking , “Room for one more?” The group stepped out of the room to get coffee, meeting Morgan in the hallway on the way back to JJ’s room. Penelope smiled up at him, but didn’t say anything, immediately cluing him into the fact that something was not quite right with his baby girl. He suddenly thought back to the conversation JJ and Emily had had with him, over a year ago now, and their suspicion about what might be bothering the spunky computer genius. He reached out and grabbed her hand.
“What, no welcome home?” He smiled at her winningly.
“Sorry hotstuff, little Henry trumps even your good looks today.” She smiled, softy, almost wistfully.
“Hey, no, I think we should stay out here for a bit…” He steered her into a chair, and wrapped a strong, heavy arm around her shoulders. “So, are you gonna tell me what’s eating you?” He was prepared for an emotional response, but he didn’t expect the slow tear that trailed down her face. “Hey, hey, sweetheart… whatever it is, it’ll be okay-“
She sniffed, and wiped the tear from her face. “Yeah, it will be. I’ve just got to stop waiting for someone else to make my dreams a reality.” She kissed his cheek softly. “See you Monday sweetness.” He stared after her, concern lining his forehead.