No One Needs You More Than I - Fletcher/Jones - Ficlet
Title: No One Needs You More Than I
Author: valquiris
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fletcher/Jones
Genre: AU
Summary: I need you here with me from tonight until the end of time
A/N: This came to me when I woke up this morning. The title and lyrics used in summary are from Chicago's "You're The Inspiration" and I kind of based this ficlet on it. Hope you enjoy~
“Coming to bed?”
Danny asks, leaning on the open bedroom door, the light inside spilling on the darkened floor. Tom looks up immediately, as if Danny had just yelled at him, and he quickly wipes his face with the back of his hand, the one that isn’t holding a page of the photo album propped on the living room table, sniffing softly. He hopes Danny has not heard him; he doesn’t want him to worry any more than he already does, and right now, all he wants to be is alone.
“I’ll be there in a minute, Dan,” Tom says, voice as convincingly strong as a puppy passing itself as the leader of a wolf pack, and he lets out a soft hiccup, his hand covering his mouth two seconds later. But this doesn’t convince Danny, and he stands to his full height and moves over to him just as he turns another page.
“Tom, come on,” says Danny, sitting on the area next to Tom, wrapping a strong arm across the other’s shoulders, pulling him close.
“I’m fine, really,” Tom says, turning to Danny with a wet smile, and he turns back to the page he had just picked up. “I’ll be right in.”
“You’re not fine,” Danny says, and with his other hand, he scoops up Tom’s face to look at him, taking in his state. “Talk to me.”
Tom sighs, not really wanting to talk about the matter, but seeing as nothing ever convinces Danny otherwise when he thinks something is wrong, he doesn’t argue. He rests his head on Danny’s chest, warm and comfortable, and he releases the page between his fingers, replacing it on his lap.
“I can’t sleep, Danny, I can’t eat,” Tom begins, eyes focused on his hands as he picks at his fingernails. “I can’t do anything anymore. It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that, since he left, I’ve lost all will to.”
Danny looks at him, worry in his eyes, but Tom doesn’t see that; he keeps his gaze on his hands.
“Every time I close my eyes, I see him, laughing and reaching his hands up at me. He wants me to carry him; you know how much he loves being carried, but when I reach back, I feel the air, empty. And it hurts, Danny, I feel this every night.”
Danny doesn’t say anything, and Tom can already feel tears brimming around his eyes, but this time, he doesn’t make a move to wipe them clean. He wants them to fall, because maybe they’ll take all his grief with them.
“I hate it, Danny. I hate that I can’t see him when I wake up, I can’t hold him when I want to, I can’t kiss him goodnight every night. I need him, Danny, I love him so much.”
“I love him too, Tom,” says Danny for the first time since Tom, began, and he gave the top of Tom’s head a kiss before pulling him tighter. “But you can’t keep on doing this.”
“He’s my baby, Dan. I can’t just up and forget him; you try telling a mother to and see what happens,” says Tom fiercely, and Danny can already hear the sobs forming around his words.
“But staying up in the middle of the night and crying at his pictures doesn’t help, Tom, it makes it worse. How else are you supposed to go on with your life?”
“Maybe I don’t-”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Danny cuts off, and Tom stares at him in surprise. “You do.”
“But Danny-”
“You don’t go on with your life and you lose me.”
Tom is silent, Danny’s eyes burning through his, and his words of retaliation are caught in his throat. Danny uncoils his arm and stands up, leaving Tom on the sofa, and he makes his way back to the bedroom, the pattering of his feet too loud in the silence.
Tom doesn’t have to think twice about what he says; he’s already felt what it’s like to lose someone he loves more than his own, and he can’t-refuse-feel that emptiness again. He jumps up and runs after Danny, who turns around at the sound of his feet on the floor. He wraps his arms around him, and Danny is stunned for a second.
“I can’t lose both of you,” Tom whispers, and he feels Danny’s arms coming around him. “I need you more than you’ll ever know. I can’t lose you.”
Tom is surprised that his tears have stopped coming, though he doesn’t really know why. But the laugh echoing in Danny’s chest makes him feel better, and the kiss on the top of his head lets him know that Danny’s staying.
“You won’t.”
Author: valquiris
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fletcher/Jones
Genre: AU
Summary: I need you here with me from tonight until the end of time
A/N: This came to me when I woke up this morning. The title and lyrics used in summary are from Chicago's "You're The Inspiration" and I kind of based this ficlet on it. Hope you enjoy~
“Coming to bed?”
Danny asks, leaning on the open bedroom door, the light inside spilling on the darkened floor. Tom looks up immediately, as if Danny had just yelled at him, and he quickly wipes his face with the back of his hand, the one that isn’t holding a page of the photo album propped on the living room table, sniffing softly. He hopes Danny has not heard him; he doesn’t want him to worry any more than he already does, and right now, all he wants to be is alone.
“I’ll be there in a minute, Dan,” Tom says, voice as convincingly strong as a puppy passing itself as the leader of a wolf pack, and he lets out a soft hiccup, his hand covering his mouth two seconds later. But this doesn’t convince Danny, and he stands to his full height and moves over to him just as he turns another page.
“Tom, come on,” says Danny, sitting on the area next to Tom, wrapping a strong arm across the other’s shoulders, pulling him close.
“I’m fine, really,” Tom says, turning to Danny with a wet smile, and he turns back to the page he had just picked up. “I’ll be right in.”
“You’re not fine,” Danny says, and with his other hand, he scoops up Tom’s face to look at him, taking in his state. “Talk to me.”
Tom sighs, not really wanting to talk about the matter, but seeing as nothing ever convinces Danny otherwise when he thinks something is wrong, he doesn’t argue. He rests his head on Danny’s chest, warm and comfortable, and he releases the page between his fingers, replacing it on his lap.
“I can’t sleep, Danny, I can’t eat,” Tom begins, eyes focused on his hands as he picks at his fingernails. “I can’t do anything anymore. It’s not that I can’t, it’s just that, since he left, I’ve lost all will to.”
Danny looks at him, worry in his eyes, but Tom doesn’t see that; he keeps his gaze on his hands.
“Every time I close my eyes, I see him, laughing and reaching his hands up at me. He wants me to carry him; you know how much he loves being carried, but when I reach back, I feel the air, empty. And it hurts, Danny, I feel this every night.”
Danny doesn’t say anything, and Tom can already feel tears brimming around his eyes, but this time, he doesn’t make a move to wipe them clean. He wants them to fall, because maybe they’ll take all his grief with them.
“I hate it, Danny. I hate that I can’t see him when I wake up, I can’t hold him when I want to, I can’t kiss him goodnight every night. I need him, Danny, I love him so much.”
“I love him too, Tom,” says Danny for the first time since Tom, began, and he gave the top of Tom’s head a kiss before pulling him tighter. “But you can’t keep on doing this.”
“He’s my baby, Dan. I can’t just up and forget him; you try telling a mother to and see what happens,” says Tom fiercely, and Danny can already hear the sobs forming around his words.
“But staying up in the middle of the night and crying at his pictures doesn’t help, Tom, it makes it worse. How else are you supposed to go on with your life?”
“Maybe I don’t-”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Danny cuts off, and Tom stares at him in surprise. “You do.”
“But Danny-”
“You don’t go on with your life and you lose me.”
Tom is silent, Danny’s eyes burning through his, and his words of retaliation are caught in his throat. Danny uncoils his arm and stands up, leaving Tom on the sofa, and he makes his way back to the bedroom, the pattering of his feet too loud in the silence.
Tom doesn’t have to think twice about what he says; he’s already felt what it’s like to lose someone he loves more than his own, and he can’t-refuse-feel that emptiness again. He jumps up and runs after Danny, who turns around at the sound of his feet on the floor. He wraps his arms around him, and Danny is stunned for a second.
“I can’t lose both of you,” Tom whispers, and he feels Danny’s arms coming around him. “I need you more than you’ll ever know. I can’t lose you.”
Tom is surprised that his tears have stopped coming, though he doesn’t really know why. But the laugh echoing in Danny’s chest makes him feel better, and the kiss on the top of his head lets him know that Danny’s staying.
“You won’t.”