Dazed and Confused - Fletcher/Jones - Standalone
Title: Dazed and Confused
Author: valquiris
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fletcher/Jones
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Summary: “Alright, I can’t take it anymore. Danny, I want to give you something to think about.”
A/N: This just came to me yesterday, straight after school, and I had to write it down. Finished this morning and now, it's here! Tell me what you guys think!~
Disclaimer: I do not own McFly in any way.
“That’s all of it for me,” I heard Dougie say from somewhere not too far off, but nobody seemed to care. Everyone was much too busy packing their own boxes, with me having the most difficulty. Even as I folded each shirt up the smallest they could go, I couldn’t seem to fit all of them inside, and it didn’t matter that the box was extremely large to begin with. I would think Dougie would have it the hardest, since it was his job to pack the toys, and there were loads of them. But his comment just a second ago proved me wrong, and it made me feel insufferably menial.
I looked around to see what the rest were doing; Dougie was slumped in the sofa, now flipping the channels on the television, the remote control held aloft; Harry was on the other side of the room, crouched over a box half-filled with shoes of differing sizes and colors, taking some out and putting others in accordance to his liking, a personal smile stretching his lips; Danny was sat cross-legged with his back resting against the sofa, an opened box positioned perfectly inside the ninety-degree angle his legs made, the dazed look in his eyes a sign he was deep in thought.
I was the farthest from them. I sat on the bottommost step of the staircase, countless shirts littering the immediate area around me. I was working on my fourth box (all of us agreed we would only do four boxes each) and the other three were prepped and ready near the door along with Dougie’s.
Once again, I unraveled all the folded ones and set them aside. For a moment, I pondered of another way to tackle the situation, scratching my head all the while. We promised we would get to the orphanage in less than two hours’ time, and I was growing worried. What if we didn’t get there on time because of my inutility? I exhaled a deep sigh and went back to work at once, determined to prevent the thought from ever being realized.
About twenty minutes after I restarted, Harry announced his completion, and he clambered on top of Dougie, wrestling the remote from his grasp.
Now, it was just me and Danny.
I stuffed all the folded ones I had taken aside inside the box, and soon, it was almost full. My nerves must have altered my usefulness, I thought as I pressed on, and I was very near finished when the clock struck eleven. One more hour to go. I wondered how Danny was doing…
I lifted my gaze from the Hello Kitty shirt in my hands and moved it over to the brunette, who was busy flipping through a small handbook by the name of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” an amused smile etched on his face, his eyes swiveling left and right as he read.
“Haha! Dougs, look at this,” he blurted out suddenly, and I almost dropped the shirt. Dougie, who had just managed to slip the remote from a smug-looking Harry’s fingers, craned his neck to the book as Danny raised it up for him to see, pointing at the part he wanted him to read.
“What?” Dougie asked after he finished, shooting Danny a bemused look. Apparently, he didn’t find it funny whatever he had just read, and he was now trying to retrieve the remote from Harry, who had the thing raised high in the air teasingly.
“The bit when Alice was telling the mouse about Dinah!” Danny said incredulously, almost drowned by a laugh. Dougie merely shrugged, grabbed hold of Harry’s arm, and hoisted it down. Danny looked downcast; he never did like it when nobody found his humor funny, and he closed the book at once, stuffing it inside the box shortly after. I would have laughed with him if he’d have shown me. After all, I’ve read the book a hundred times, and its wit never failed to amuse me. Seeing as I was too far for him to think of me first, however, it didn’t come to any surprise why he didn’t.
“Come on, Danny, get to it. We have an hour left,” I reminded Danny after placing three shirts consecutively on top of each other. He looked at me for a second, blue eyes flashing with alarm, and he began to hustle, piling the books haphazardly, not caring if the box did not accommodate enough space. Thirty minutes later, I was finished and was now dragging the box over to the others. Turning back, I heard Danny grumble in frustration, taking out half the books and reorganizing them as well as he could.
I surveyed him as I stood there; his hair was slightly disheveled, his chin and neck covered lightly with stubble, wearing the same shirt he went to bed with the night before. Something was wrong with the picture, and it didn’t take me long to figure out what it was.
I sighed and swept over to him.
“Go on and get ready. I’ll handle this,” I assured him, taking the book clasped in his hand and placing it down at the top of the pile inside the box. He beamed at me and jumped to his feet at once, darting up the stairs the next moment.
As I stooped low to gather up a stack, my eyes inadvertently glazed over Harry and Dougie, whose wrestling match erupted into a full-blown lip-lock fight, and Dougie was winning by the looks of it.
“You’d better not let the kids see you doing that,” I remarked as I slipped a book between two stacks, and I heard Dougie laugh with a moan, kissing sounds resuming shortly after. That was the only source of sound in the house, minus those of the books slamming against one another, and it went on for a good ten minutes before it halted to a stop.
“I don’t know why you can’t just tell him, Tom,” said Dougie, who, as I turned my head, was perfectly snug in Harry’s arms, teeth nipping at the blonde’s neck. “I’m sure he feels the same.” I went back to the books.
“You don’t know that,” I said smartly, sliding a finger on the surface of the topmost book before closing the box.
“You are so blind!” Dougie remarked, giving me an unnecessary slap on the back of my head. “Can’t you see, he’s crazy about you!” I shrugged.
“So you say. Doesn’t mean it’s true,” I retorted. I didn’t believe him; Danny didn’t pay as much attention to me as I did to him. He was always occupied with something. If he wasn’t locked in his room trying to find the right melody for our next song or slouched on the sofa watching his cartoons, he was out partying, usually a girl in his arm, while I walked beside them, eyeing him longingly from the corners of my eyes. From somewhere close to the surface, however, I wanted to believe him.
If it wasn’t that obvious enough, I liked Danny-loved him, even.
“But it is! Just by the way he looks at you, you can tell!” I shook my head and pushed the box in the cluster near the door. However are we supposed to get out of the hours with all of these boxes blocking the door from even swinging? I began to push them aside to make room.
“He never looks at me, Dougie, so you can just stop,” I said coldly. To be honest, I had quite enough of his “pep talks,” or whatever he called them. Ever since I’ve told him about my feelings, he’s never stopped badgering me about it. I didn’t want him to create false hope inside me. I didn’t want to get hurt in the end.
“That’s because he makes sure you’re not looking back,” he persisted. “You two feel the same way about each other, and you’re just making it hard for yourselves by not expressing them.”
“Nose down, Dougs, that’s none of your business,” Harry declared, and I hid a smile of satisfaction.
“But-”
“No. If they don’t want to admit their obvious feelings for each other, even if everyone could tell, that’s their choice, not yours. So you just keep your nose out of it, hear?”
I wanted to rip open the box I was pushing and throw a large book at him. Instead, I glared angrily and stormed my way to the kitchen to make myself some coffee, ignoring Dougie’s request for a bagel.
I sat myself on the counter, the warm mug clasped in my hands, feeling the steam tickle the bottom of my chin, pondering, questions popping in my head like daisies. Was it really that obvious, my feelings for Danny? If so, why hasn’t he noticed yet? And if he had, why hasn’t he done anything about it? Should I make the first move? Tell him first before he did, should he ever? How will he react? Would we stay friends at the least?
I went on thinking like this for a while, eyes drinking in the coffee that was supposed to be for my mouth, and when I snapped back to my senses, the warmth had already gone. I set the mug on the counter beside me and I sauntered back to the living room.
The two were watching a cartoon, which seemed odd to me since they didn’t like them. Never had. The mystery was solved, however, when I saw Danny on the floor, back in his cross-legged position, the remote control sitting peacefully on his right thigh, eyes glued to the television set.
Instinctively, my eyes searched for the clock, and I discovered it was eighteen minutes until twelve. The way to the orphanage was a fifteen-minute drive.
“We’ll be late!” I said aloud, snatching the remote and turning the television off. At the same time, all three looked at me like I was mental. It was Dougie who said something first.
“Lighten up, Tom, it’s not like you’re going to be late for school.”
I could hear the shrug in his voice, and I narrowed my eyes. I was extremely punctual. Had been all my life. If I had an appointment, I would do anything to get there on time, and creating the band didn’t change that. In fact, it invigorated it, considering they were the most un-punctual people one could ever meet.
“We promised to be there at twelve and we’re keeping that promise,” I snapped angrily, throwing the remote across the room and urging them to get on their feet. Harry stood up without hesitation, and he grabbed Dougie by the collar and hoisted him up. I caught Danny’s eyes for a second as he stood up, expression in them unreadable, and, stuffing his hands in his pocket, he began to make his way over to the boxes.
“Sucks he’s going to have to live with that all his life, doesn’t it?” Dougie asked Harry with a smirk as he grabbed hold of a box the moment Danny slipped outside. “Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to tell him.” Harry laughed and smacked Dougie upside the head, and I glared at him once again.
“Go,” I ordered, pointing an angry finger out the door, and Dougie complied, but not before sticking his tongue out at me with a mocking sound. I followed suit and soon, the whole van was packed with the boxes.
We assumed our seats; Harry in the driver’s seat, Dougie next to him, and me and Danny next to each other in the back. Silence ensued, only to be broken by the rumbling of the car jolting into action, and the next moment, we finally drove into the road.
I didn’t say anything throughout the whole ride, only looking out my window, watching the houses as they sped past. Danny didn’t say anything either, only playing with a lock of hair from underneath his beanie. Harry and Dougie were the only ones talking, and they tried to get us into their conversation on separate occasions, failing each time.
We came upon the orphanage with five minutes to spare, and I thanked all that was holy for the lack of traffic.
Two people, a man and a woman, were standing out front to meet us, and they sent helpers the moment we stepped out of the van. They unloaded every single one and laid them before us, and, after going over the plan with the patrons, we waited until the children were released.
A minute later, they burst out from the doors and crowded into the open space, clamoring and giggling excitedly, pointing their little fingers to the boxes. Seeing them, I couldn’t help but smile at their enthusiasm, and when I looked at the other three, they were smiling as well, Danny especially beaming.
Turning back, I announced who we were and why we were there, raising my voice enough so I could be heard over the sea of chattering. With a clap, all four of us ripped the boxes open, and we began handing out the treasures they held inside.
The children crowded closer, animatedly receiving the gifts in their arms, some bouncing on the balls of their feet, some leaping into the air in joy. It was then that I remembered why I wanted to be in a band in the first place. Sure, a large part of it was self-gratification, but another large part of it was to give back to people, and it made me feel like I had a purpose in life, like I was doing something right for once in my life. And judging by everyone’s fervor, I could tell they felt the same way.
It was a long procession, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Most came up to me for a hug, and I didn’t disappoint, even kissing some on their foreheads. Some, the more collected, introverted ones, kept a good distance, but they nodded and whispered their thanks before disappearing into the back of the throng, ghosts of smiles on their faces.
After handing out the last book, we were finished, and we bade goodbye to the children, who were talking to each other giddily, presenting and comparing to each other what they received. When half of them disappeared back in the establishment, there came an aging woman ushering a young boy half her size, and they came upon us with hopeful eyes, the boy’s inspecting the empty boxes with curiosity.
“I’m terribly sorry, little Johnny was in the hospital wing,” the woman apologized, placing her hands on the one called Johnny’s shoulders, preventing him from moving closer to look completely inside every single one. “Is there anything left for the young one?”
I felt my heart sink, and I stood dumbstruck. I didn’t know what to do. Every single item had been given out, and I couldn’t find it in myself to tell him there was nothing left. I looked over to the other three, and Dougie and Harry looked at me with sympathetic eyes, softly shaking their heads, telling me they had as much as I did. Danny, however, to my surprise, stooped low and leveled his gaze with Johnny, a warm smile meant to encourage the boy, whose eyes were beginning to water.
“Don’t cry,” Danny said, wiping a bead of tear that had just rolled down his pink cheeks. “Of course, we have something special for you.” I eyed him curiously, my eyes half-inspecting his box to see what special something he had in store.
He reached a hand to his head and pulled his beanie off. He stretched the mouth open and slid it around the boy’s blonde head, who at once brightened but was still crying.
“See, none of your other friends has that,” said Danny, retracting his hand and pulling off his jacket. He placed it around the boy, extremely big for his fragile frame so that the bottom only came halfway down his legs. Danny zipped up the front and patted the shoulders. “And they don’t have that either. So don’t cry anymore, okay?” The boy nodded and smiled widely, revealing a missing front tooth. Danny stretched out his arms and motioned for the boy to get in them. Johnny reached his little arms around Danny as best he could, laughing to himself.
“Thank you,” he said in Danny’s chest, and they pulled back and smiled at each other once more. The aging woman expressed her gratitude and led the boy back inside the building, who was skipping happily and trying to fix Danny’s beanie.
The helpers came once again and began to carry the empty boxes, and I went up to Danny, still awestruck by what he had just done.
“That was amazing, Danny, you made him real happy,” I congratulated him with a grin. From behind Danny, I could see Dougie and Harry conversing something quietly, and they helped the people move the boxes around the next second, Dougie nodding his encouragement, eyes snapping to Danny three times before Harry pushed him further on.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile, looking to his left and averting my gaze.
“No, seriously, you have got to be one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met!” I said, and he snapped his eyes back to me. I felt like melting under his gaze, like I always did whenever we would have eye contacts like these. He shrugged and slipped his hands in his pockets.
“You’re pretty remarkable too,” he said softly, just enough for me to hear. “If you hadn’t told us to hurry it up, we’d have made them wait.” With that, we were silent for a while, an awkward tension falling over us like a thick fog, and I resorted to rocking on the balls of my feet. Feeling that the silence had drug on long enough, I decided to break it.
“Alright, I can’t take it anymore. Danny, I want to give you something to think about.”
He looked at me in confusion, and he inclined his head closer to see if I cared to elaborate.
“What is it?” he asked me after receiving no reply, and from a ways off, I could see Dougie and Harry watching us, Dougie making a thumbs up with both of his hands. I snickered when Harry smacked his head like earlier, and Danny looked around to see what was funny.
But then, I guided his face back to me and leaned in close, placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Of course, with this bold move, I knew I should have kissed his lips full on, but something inside me told me otherwise, and that it wouldn’t be the brightest of actions.
When I pulled back, he looked dazed, eyes wide and focused on me, bringing a hand up to touch the area my lips had just left. I nodded casually as if nothing had happened and wheeled around to make my way back to the van, not even looking over to Dougie to see his reaction.
If he didn’t feel the same, then that was fine. At least I won’t have to harbor my feelings any longer, feeling that if I held on for too long, I would implode, no doubt.
The moment I placed a foot inside the vehicle, I felt a hand grab my shoulder, and, with the most hopeful face I could muster, turned around to see…
Dougie.
It was like a large balloon deflated in my heart, but I kept as solid a face as I could.
“Nice job! But I thought you would have done something, you know, more drastic?” he said after me as I clambered inside. He ran around the moment I closed the door and slipped in the passenger’s seat, and he rounded on me at once. “Why did you leave him like that? Didn’t you see his face?”
“Yeah, I saw it,” I said, looking out the window and watching as Harry talked to a still-surprised Danny. “And it’s enough to tell me he doesn’t feel the same.” He shook his head and slumped back on his seat the proper way.
“I give up,” he declared, digging in the glove compartment for something to eat. “There’s no getting through to you. If you want to keep hurting, then be my guest. Just remember I tried to help you and don’t you come running to me when you realize I was right.” With that, we were silent, and I tore my gaze from the window when I saw the two moving closer. Danny slipped in his seat and Harry in his, and soon we made our way back to the road.
The silence pressed heavily upon my chest, more than it ever had. Danny said nothing-he wasn’t even twirling his hair like he always did whenever he had nothing to do. He was just staring at the back of Harry’s seat, eyes fixated on something I couldn’t see. Dougie and Harry were silent as well, and the only source of sound was the van’s engines running.
I wanted to apologize for my actions; it was totally uncalled for and I shouldn’t have done it. That was the logical part of my brain talking. But the other part told me it was a good idea, that it accomplished what I wanted in the first place-it gave him something to think about. Of course, I was worried that I might have jeopardized my friendship in doing so, but I tried to be optimistic despite of my attitude earlier.
Setting my mind to asking him anyway, I turned my head a quarter of the way, but then I stopped when I felt something crawling on the back of my hand, which was resting on the spot between us. At first I thought it had been a large spider, and I was very near flinging over to Dougie, but when I realized it had been Danny’s freckled hand, I pushed the thought away immediately, an explosion of happiness threatening to burst out of my heart.
He interlaced his fingers with mine, the digits digging in my palm, and I looked at him. He was still focused on the back of the seat, deep in thought, but he kept his grip tight.
“Don’t leave me like that again,” he told me with a sigh, a smile beginning to form on his lips, and he turned to me for the first time since we reentered the van. “Without finishing what you started.” My ears perked up, my eyes shooting open.
He leaned in close, just as I had, but instead of the corner of my mouth, he pressed his lips against mine. Softly and gently, I pressed back, tightening my fingers over his, my body ensconced in my seat. That same happiness flowed out of my heart and into my veins, traveling along the complex networks and filling every nerve so that when he pulled back, I tingled just a bit, left with a dazed smile I didn’t remember ever forming.
“I told you,” Dougie said matter-of-factly, stretching his arms in the air and yawning. “But no! No one ever listens to crazy-old Dougie Poynter. He’s just a lunatic who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Well, who’s bloody mental now?” Danny laughed and I followed along, hands still clasped together, as Harry reached a free hand to scruff up his hair, shining golden in the bright, sunlit afternoon.
Author: valquiris
Part: 1/1
Rating: PG
Pairing: Fletcher/Jones
Genre: Fluff, Romance
Summary: “Alright, I can’t take it anymore. Danny, I want to give you something to think about.”
A/N: This just came to me yesterday, straight after school, and I had to write it down. Finished this morning and now, it's here! Tell me what you guys think!~
Disclaimer: I do not own McFly in any way.
“That’s all of it for me,” I heard Dougie say from somewhere not too far off, but nobody seemed to care. Everyone was much too busy packing their own boxes, with me having the most difficulty. Even as I folded each shirt up the smallest they could go, I couldn’t seem to fit all of them inside, and it didn’t matter that the box was extremely large to begin with. I would think Dougie would have it the hardest, since it was his job to pack the toys, and there were loads of them. But his comment just a second ago proved me wrong, and it made me feel insufferably menial.
I looked around to see what the rest were doing; Dougie was slumped in the sofa, now flipping the channels on the television, the remote control held aloft; Harry was on the other side of the room, crouched over a box half-filled with shoes of differing sizes and colors, taking some out and putting others in accordance to his liking, a personal smile stretching his lips; Danny was sat cross-legged with his back resting against the sofa, an opened box positioned perfectly inside the ninety-degree angle his legs made, the dazed look in his eyes a sign he was deep in thought.
I was the farthest from them. I sat on the bottommost step of the staircase, countless shirts littering the immediate area around me. I was working on my fourth box (all of us agreed we would only do four boxes each) and the other three were prepped and ready near the door along with Dougie’s.
Once again, I unraveled all the folded ones and set them aside. For a moment, I pondered of another way to tackle the situation, scratching my head all the while. We promised we would get to the orphanage in less than two hours’ time, and I was growing worried. What if we didn’t get there on time because of my inutility? I exhaled a deep sigh and went back to work at once, determined to prevent the thought from ever being realized.
About twenty minutes after I restarted, Harry announced his completion, and he clambered on top of Dougie, wrestling the remote from his grasp.
Now, it was just me and Danny.
I stuffed all the folded ones I had taken aside inside the box, and soon, it was almost full. My nerves must have altered my usefulness, I thought as I pressed on, and I was very near finished when the clock struck eleven. One more hour to go. I wondered how Danny was doing…
I lifted my gaze from the Hello Kitty shirt in my hands and moved it over to the brunette, who was busy flipping through a small handbook by the name of “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland,” an amused smile etched on his face, his eyes swiveling left and right as he read.
“Haha! Dougs, look at this,” he blurted out suddenly, and I almost dropped the shirt. Dougie, who had just managed to slip the remote from a smug-looking Harry’s fingers, craned his neck to the book as Danny raised it up for him to see, pointing at the part he wanted him to read.
“What?” Dougie asked after he finished, shooting Danny a bemused look. Apparently, he didn’t find it funny whatever he had just read, and he was now trying to retrieve the remote from Harry, who had the thing raised high in the air teasingly.
“The bit when Alice was telling the mouse about Dinah!” Danny said incredulously, almost drowned by a laugh. Dougie merely shrugged, grabbed hold of Harry’s arm, and hoisted it down. Danny looked downcast; he never did like it when nobody found his humor funny, and he closed the book at once, stuffing it inside the box shortly after. I would have laughed with him if he’d have shown me. After all, I’ve read the book a hundred times, and its wit never failed to amuse me. Seeing as I was too far for him to think of me first, however, it didn’t come to any surprise why he didn’t.
“Come on, Danny, get to it. We have an hour left,” I reminded Danny after placing three shirts consecutively on top of each other. He looked at me for a second, blue eyes flashing with alarm, and he began to hustle, piling the books haphazardly, not caring if the box did not accommodate enough space. Thirty minutes later, I was finished and was now dragging the box over to the others. Turning back, I heard Danny grumble in frustration, taking out half the books and reorganizing them as well as he could.
I surveyed him as I stood there; his hair was slightly disheveled, his chin and neck covered lightly with stubble, wearing the same shirt he went to bed with the night before. Something was wrong with the picture, and it didn’t take me long to figure out what it was.
I sighed and swept over to him.
“Go on and get ready. I’ll handle this,” I assured him, taking the book clasped in his hand and placing it down at the top of the pile inside the box. He beamed at me and jumped to his feet at once, darting up the stairs the next moment.
As I stooped low to gather up a stack, my eyes inadvertently glazed over Harry and Dougie, whose wrestling match erupted into a full-blown lip-lock fight, and Dougie was winning by the looks of it.
“You’d better not let the kids see you doing that,” I remarked as I slipped a book between two stacks, and I heard Dougie laugh with a moan, kissing sounds resuming shortly after. That was the only source of sound in the house, minus those of the books slamming against one another, and it went on for a good ten minutes before it halted to a stop.
“I don’t know why you can’t just tell him, Tom,” said Dougie, who, as I turned my head, was perfectly snug in Harry’s arms, teeth nipping at the blonde’s neck. “I’m sure he feels the same.” I went back to the books.
“You don’t know that,” I said smartly, sliding a finger on the surface of the topmost book before closing the box.
“You are so blind!” Dougie remarked, giving me an unnecessary slap on the back of my head. “Can’t you see, he’s crazy about you!” I shrugged.
“So you say. Doesn’t mean it’s true,” I retorted. I didn’t believe him; Danny didn’t pay as much attention to me as I did to him. He was always occupied with something. If he wasn’t locked in his room trying to find the right melody for our next song or slouched on the sofa watching his cartoons, he was out partying, usually a girl in his arm, while I walked beside them, eyeing him longingly from the corners of my eyes. From somewhere close to the surface, however, I wanted to believe him.
If it wasn’t that obvious enough, I liked Danny-loved him, even.
“But it is! Just by the way he looks at you, you can tell!” I shook my head and pushed the box in the cluster near the door. However are we supposed to get out of the hours with all of these boxes blocking the door from even swinging? I began to push them aside to make room.
“He never looks at me, Dougie, so you can just stop,” I said coldly. To be honest, I had quite enough of his “pep talks,” or whatever he called them. Ever since I’ve told him about my feelings, he’s never stopped badgering me about it. I didn’t want him to create false hope inside me. I didn’t want to get hurt in the end.
“That’s because he makes sure you’re not looking back,” he persisted. “You two feel the same way about each other, and you’re just making it hard for yourselves by not expressing them.”
“Nose down, Dougs, that’s none of your business,” Harry declared, and I hid a smile of satisfaction.
“But-”
“No. If they don’t want to admit their obvious feelings for each other, even if everyone could tell, that’s their choice, not yours. So you just keep your nose out of it, hear?”
I wanted to rip open the box I was pushing and throw a large book at him. Instead, I glared angrily and stormed my way to the kitchen to make myself some coffee, ignoring Dougie’s request for a bagel.
I sat myself on the counter, the warm mug clasped in my hands, feeling the steam tickle the bottom of my chin, pondering, questions popping in my head like daisies. Was it really that obvious, my feelings for Danny? If so, why hasn’t he noticed yet? And if he had, why hasn’t he done anything about it? Should I make the first move? Tell him first before he did, should he ever? How will he react? Would we stay friends at the least?
I went on thinking like this for a while, eyes drinking in the coffee that was supposed to be for my mouth, and when I snapped back to my senses, the warmth had already gone. I set the mug on the counter beside me and I sauntered back to the living room.
The two were watching a cartoon, which seemed odd to me since they didn’t like them. Never had. The mystery was solved, however, when I saw Danny on the floor, back in his cross-legged position, the remote control sitting peacefully on his right thigh, eyes glued to the television set.
Instinctively, my eyes searched for the clock, and I discovered it was eighteen minutes until twelve. The way to the orphanage was a fifteen-minute drive.
“We’ll be late!” I said aloud, snatching the remote and turning the television off. At the same time, all three looked at me like I was mental. It was Dougie who said something first.
“Lighten up, Tom, it’s not like you’re going to be late for school.”
I could hear the shrug in his voice, and I narrowed my eyes. I was extremely punctual. Had been all my life. If I had an appointment, I would do anything to get there on time, and creating the band didn’t change that. In fact, it invigorated it, considering they were the most un-punctual people one could ever meet.
“We promised to be there at twelve and we’re keeping that promise,” I snapped angrily, throwing the remote across the room and urging them to get on their feet. Harry stood up without hesitation, and he grabbed Dougie by the collar and hoisted him up. I caught Danny’s eyes for a second as he stood up, expression in them unreadable, and, stuffing his hands in his pocket, he began to make his way over to the boxes.
“Sucks he’s going to have to live with that all his life, doesn’t it?” Dougie asked Harry with a smirk as he grabbed hold of a box the moment Danny slipped outside. “Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to tell him.” Harry laughed and smacked Dougie upside the head, and I glared at him once again.
“Go,” I ordered, pointing an angry finger out the door, and Dougie complied, but not before sticking his tongue out at me with a mocking sound. I followed suit and soon, the whole van was packed with the boxes.
We assumed our seats; Harry in the driver’s seat, Dougie next to him, and me and Danny next to each other in the back. Silence ensued, only to be broken by the rumbling of the car jolting into action, and the next moment, we finally drove into the road.
I didn’t say anything throughout the whole ride, only looking out my window, watching the houses as they sped past. Danny didn’t say anything either, only playing with a lock of hair from underneath his beanie. Harry and Dougie were the only ones talking, and they tried to get us into their conversation on separate occasions, failing each time.
We came upon the orphanage with five minutes to spare, and I thanked all that was holy for the lack of traffic.
Two people, a man and a woman, were standing out front to meet us, and they sent helpers the moment we stepped out of the van. They unloaded every single one and laid them before us, and, after going over the plan with the patrons, we waited until the children were released.
A minute later, they burst out from the doors and crowded into the open space, clamoring and giggling excitedly, pointing their little fingers to the boxes. Seeing them, I couldn’t help but smile at their enthusiasm, and when I looked at the other three, they were smiling as well, Danny especially beaming.
Turning back, I announced who we were and why we were there, raising my voice enough so I could be heard over the sea of chattering. With a clap, all four of us ripped the boxes open, and we began handing out the treasures they held inside.
The children crowded closer, animatedly receiving the gifts in their arms, some bouncing on the balls of their feet, some leaping into the air in joy. It was then that I remembered why I wanted to be in a band in the first place. Sure, a large part of it was self-gratification, but another large part of it was to give back to people, and it made me feel like I had a purpose in life, like I was doing something right for once in my life. And judging by everyone’s fervor, I could tell they felt the same way.
It was a long procession, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Most came up to me for a hug, and I didn’t disappoint, even kissing some on their foreheads. Some, the more collected, introverted ones, kept a good distance, but they nodded and whispered their thanks before disappearing into the back of the throng, ghosts of smiles on their faces.
After handing out the last book, we were finished, and we bade goodbye to the children, who were talking to each other giddily, presenting and comparing to each other what they received. When half of them disappeared back in the establishment, there came an aging woman ushering a young boy half her size, and they came upon us with hopeful eyes, the boy’s inspecting the empty boxes with curiosity.
“I’m terribly sorry, little Johnny was in the hospital wing,” the woman apologized, placing her hands on the one called Johnny’s shoulders, preventing him from moving closer to look completely inside every single one. “Is there anything left for the young one?”
I felt my heart sink, and I stood dumbstruck. I didn’t know what to do. Every single item had been given out, and I couldn’t find it in myself to tell him there was nothing left. I looked over to the other three, and Dougie and Harry looked at me with sympathetic eyes, softly shaking their heads, telling me they had as much as I did. Danny, however, to my surprise, stooped low and leveled his gaze with Johnny, a warm smile meant to encourage the boy, whose eyes were beginning to water.
“Don’t cry,” Danny said, wiping a bead of tear that had just rolled down his pink cheeks. “Of course, we have something special for you.” I eyed him curiously, my eyes half-inspecting his box to see what special something he had in store.
He reached a hand to his head and pulled his beanie off. He stretched the mouth open and slid it around the boy’s blonde head, who at once brightened but was still crying.
“See, none of your other friends has that,” said Danny, retracting his hand and pulling off his jacket. He placed it around the boy, extremely big for his fragile frame so that the bottom only came halfway down his legs. Danny zipped up the front and patted the shoulders. “And they don’t have that either. So don’t cry anymore, okay?” The boy nodded and smiled widely, revealing a missing front tooth. Danny stretched out his arms and motioned for the boy to get in them. Johnny reached his little arms around Danny as best he could, laughing to himself.
“Thank you,” he said in Danny’s chest, and they pulled back and smiled at each other once more. The aging woman expressed her gratitude and led the boy back inside the building, who was skipping happily and trying to fix Danny’s beanie.
The helpers came once again and began to carry the empty boxes, and I went up to Danny, still awestruck by what he had just done.
“That was amazing, Danny, you made him real happy,” I congratulated him with a grin. From behind Danny, I could see Dougie and Harry conversing something quietly, and they helped the people move the boxes around the next second, Dougie nodding his encouragement, eyes snapping to Danny three times before Harry pushed him further on.
“Thanks,” he said with a smile, looking to his left and averting my gaze.
“No, seriously, you have got to be one of the most remarkable people I’ve ever met!” I said, and he snapped his eyes back to me. I felt like melting under his gaze, like I always did whenever we would have eye contacts like these. He shrugged and slipped his hands in his pockets.
“You’re pretty remarkable too,” he said softly, just enough for me to hear. “If you hadn’t told us to hurry it up, we’d have made them wait.” With that, we were silent for a while, an awkward tension falling over us like a thick fog, and I resorted to rocking on the balls of my feet. Feeling that the silence had drug on long enough, I decided to break it.
“Alright, I can’t take it anymore. Danny, I want to give you something to think about.”
He looked at me in confusion, and he inclined his head closer to see if I cared to elaborate.
“What is it?” he asked me after receiving no reply, and from a ways off, I could see Dougie and Harry watching us, Dougie making a thumbs up with both of his hands. I snickered when Harry smacked his head like earlier, and Danny looked around to see what was funny.
But then, I guided his face back to me and leaned in close, placing a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth. Of course, with this bold move, I knew I should have kissed his lips full on, but something inside me told me otherwise, and that it wouldn’t be the brightest of actions.
When I pulled back, he looked dazed, eyes wide and focused on me, bringing a hand up to touch the area my lips had just left. I nodded casually as if nothing had happened and wheeled around to make my way back to the van, not even looking over to Dougie to see his reaction.
If he didn’t feel the same, then that was fine. At least I won’t have to harbor my feelings any longer, feeling that if I held on for too long, I would implode, no doubt.
The moment I placed a foot inside the vehicle, I felt a hand grab my shoulder, and, with the most hopeful face I could muster, turned around to see…
Dougie.
It was like a large balloon deflated in my heart, but I kept as solid a face as I could.
“Nice job! But I thought you would have done something, you know, more drastic?” he said after me as I clambered inside. He ran around the moment I closed the door and slipped in the passenger’s seat, and he rounded on me at once. “Why did you leave him like that? Didn’t you see his face?”
“Yeah, I saw it,” I said, looking out the window and watching as Harry talked to a still-surprised Danny. “And it’s enough to tell me he doesn’t feel the same.” He shook his head and slumped back on his seat the proper way.
“I give up,” he declared, digging in the glove compartment for something to eat. “There’s no getting through to you. If you want to keep hurting, then be my guest. Just remember I tried to help you and don’t you come running to me when you realize I was right.” With that, we were silent, and I tore my gaze from the window when I saw the two moving closer. Danny slipped in his seat and Harry in his, and soon we made our way back to the road.
The silence pressed heavily upon my chest, more than it ever had. Danny said nothing-he wasn’t even twirling his hair like he always did whenever he had nothing to do. He was just staring at the back of Harry’s seat, eyes fixated on something I couldn’t see. Dougie and Harry were silent as well, and the only source of sound was the van’s engines running.
I wanted to apologize for my actions; it was totally uncalled for and I shouldn’t have done it. That was the logical part of my brain talking. But the other part told me it was a good idea, that it accomplished what I wanted in the first place-it gave him something to think about. Of course, I was worried that I might have jeopardized my friendship in doing so, but I tried to be optimistic despite of my attitude earlier.
Setting my mind to asking him anyway, I turned my head a quarter of the way, but then I stopped when I felt something crawling on the back of my hand, which was resting on the spot between us. At first I thought it had been a large spider, and I was very near flinging over to Dougie, but when I realized it had been Danny’s freckled hand, I pushed the thought away immediately, an explosion of happiness threatening to burst out of my heart.
He interlaced his fingers with mine, the digits digging in my palm, and I looked at him. He was still focused on the back of the seat, deep in thought, but he kept his grip tight.
“Don’t leave me like that again,” he told me with a sigh, a smile beginning to form on his lips, and he turned to me for the first time since we reentered the van. “Without finishing what you started.” My ears perked up, my eyes shooting open.
He leaned in close, just as I had, but instead of the corner of my mouth, he pressed his lips against mine. Softly and gently, I pressed back, tightening my fingers over his, my body ensconced in my seat. That same happiness flowed out of my heart and into my veins, traveling along the complex networks and filling every nerve so that when he pulled back, I tingled just a bit, left with a dazed smile I didn’t remember ever forming.
“I told you,” Dougie said matter-of-factly, stretching his arms in the air and yawning. “But no! No one ever listens to crazy-old Dougie Poynter. He’s just a lunatic who doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Well, who’s bloody mental now?” Danny laughed and I followed along, hands still clasped together, as Harry reached a free hand to scruff up his hair, shining golden in the bright, sunlit afternoon.