crackfic. xD
So today I wondered to myself, what if DBSK knew each other when they were kids? And if they did, what would one of their play dates be like?
And then I wrote this.
._.;;
It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining brightly overhead, there was a cool breeze, and the only clouds in the sky were the fluffy ones that looked like giant cotton balls fresh out of the bag. It was the perfect day to play in Changmin's awesome new sandbox, as had apparently been decided when Yunho, Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun all appeared on the doorstep of his house and proceeded to drag him to his backyard.
"You guys better not leave me to clean everything up like last time." Changmin glared at his four friends as they all ignored him and tumbled into the sandy pit.
"What game should we play?" Junsu asked as he dove headfirst into a particularly tall mound of sand.
"Follow the leader!" Yunho answered immediately. "I'll be the leader!" And no one protested because Yunho was always the leader.
"I'll play!" Jaejoong jumped up and flailed his arms about for no reason. "Changmin, are you playing too?"
Changmin glanced up from his corner of the sandbox and pointed to the pail in his hands, then at the growing mound of sand in front of him. "No. I'm using the sand to sculpt Michelangelo's David."
"Who's David?" Jaejoong blinked at him with wide, curious eyes.
Changmin heaved a long, exaggerated sigh and decided he wouldn't even grace that with an answer. They were stupid. They were all stupid.
"I <3 follow the leader!" said Junsu, "I'll play, Jaejoongie!"
"Junsu can't play!" Yoochun said, and stuck his tongue out at Junsu's offended expression.
"Why not??"
"Because you're stupid and slow and we always have to wait for you. So you don't get to play!"
"But that's not fair!" Junsu whined. He crossed his arms and collapsed onto the sandy floor, glaring his feet. It was true that he sometimes lagged behind, but he wasn't that slow! Stupid Yoochun! Yoochun was just jealous of how cute and perfect he was.
Junsu took out the black crayon that he always kept in his pocket and drew on the wooden ledge that made up the border of the sandbox.
"Eukyangkyangkyang," Junsu snickered as he looked over his artwork. One day, he would show them all. One day...
Yunho jumped onto the wooden border, then turned back to the other two. "Hop on one leg twenty times without falling!"
Yunho started hopping. Yoochun and Jaejoong jumped up next to him and did the same.
"Joongie, you have to raise your knee up higher," Yunho said, feeling very leader-like whenever he gave out orders like this.
Jaejoong raised his arm.
"No, Joongie, I said to raise your knee!"
"I AM raising my knee!!" Jaejoong stretched his hand as far up as he could.
Yunho stopped hopping and the other two stopped with him. "Sorry Joongie, but you're out. You raised your arm when I told you to raise your knee."
"...But isn't my knee on my arm?" Jaejoong asked innocently. Yoochun and Yunho stared at him blankly.
".......No, Joongie. Your knee is on your leg." Yunho pointed to it. Jaejoong looked back and forth between his elbow and his knee, eyes widening as realization dawned on him.
"JAEJOONG DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A KNEE IS!!" Yoochun burst into hysterics, falling off the ledge and rolling around with laughter on the sand.
"B-but but... but I... but," Jaejoong pouted and his loosely balled fists shot up to his chin, "But Yunnie, they look so SIMILAR!" Jaejoong looked at Yunho with impossibly big, teary eyes.
Uh oh, Yunho thought. "Joongie," he said gently, "It's okay. It's just a game. We can play something else."
Jaejoong stared dejectedly at the ground. "It's okay, Yunnie. You don't have to stop playing just 'cause of me." But he continued to sniffle pitifully, and Yunho's little heart melted at the sight.
"Okay, Joongie," Yunho said with a defeated sigh.
"Okay what?" Jaejoong asked and added an extra sniffle for good measure.
"Okay, I'll let you back in the game."
Jaejoong brightened up so suspiciously fast that it was almost as if he hadn't even been sad in the first place. "YUNNIE!♥" Jaejoong yelled as he launched himself at the other boy and tackled him onto the sand.
"Joongie...can't...breathe..." Yunho gasped as he slowly suffocated under the crushing weight of Jaejoong's hug.
Yoochun snickered from where he sat a few feet away. "Jaejoong likes Yunho! Jaejoong likes Yunho! Jaejoongie and Yunho sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-"
Jaejoong pushed Yunho away from him so fast that the wind was knocked out of him for a second time.
"I do not! Yunho's a BOY!"
"And Jaejoongie is a GIRL! A girl who likes Yunho!"
Jaejoong growled and immediately gave chase. Yoochun ran away just as quickly while chanting, "Girly Jaejoong likes Yunho!"
"Yoochun," Yunho said once he could breathe again, "You should say sorry before Joongie beats you up again-" But before he could finish his sentence, it was already too late.
Junsu looked up from where he was writing DIE YOOCHUN DIE on the wood to see that very same boy running towards him with a PO'd Jaejoong close behind. And he was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea: he stuck his leg out.
"JUNSU WTF!!!" Yoochun screamed as he crash-landed onto the torso of David. Jaejoong leapt onto his back, effectively pinning Yoochun as hit him on the head over and over.
"My masterwork!" Changmin yelled indignantly. He threw his pail dangerously close to Yoochun's much-abused head. "Now I'll never be a famous artist!"
Changmin huffed as he watched Jaejoong slap Yoochun into submission and promised to himself that he would never ever ever ever let his friends come within a one-mile radius of his house again.
When Jaejoong brings a batch of homemade cookies the next weekend, that promise is mysteriously forgotten.
And then I wrote this.
._.;;
It was a beautiful afternoon. The sun was shining brightly overhead, there was a cool breeze, and the only clouds in the sky were the fluffy ones that looked like giant cotton balls fresh out of the bag. It was the perfect day to play in Changmin's awesome new sandbox, as had apparently been decided when Yunho, Jaejoong, Junsu, and Yoochun all appeared on the doorstep of his house and proceeded to drag him to his backyard.
"You guys better not leave me to clean everything up like last time." Changmin glared at his four friends as they all ignored him and tumbled into the sandy pit.
"What game should we play?" Junsu asked as he dove headfirst into a particularly tall mound of sand.
"Follow the leader!" Yunho answered immediately. "I'll be the leader!" And no one protested because Yunho was always the leader.
"I'll play!" Jaejoong jumped up and flailed his arms about for no reason. "Changmin, are you playing too?"
Changmin glanced up from his corner of the sandbox and pointed to the pail in his hands, then at the growing mound of sand in front of him. "No. I'm using the sand to sculpt Michelangelo's David."
"Who's David?" Jaejoong blinked at him with wide, curious eyes.
Changmin heaved a long, exaggerated sigh and decided he wouldn't even grace that with an answer. They were stupid. They were all stupid.
"I <3 follow the leader!" said Junsu, "I'll play, Jaejoongie!"
"Junsu can't play!" Yoochun said, and stuck his tongue out at Junsu's offended expression.
"Why not??"
"Because you're stupid and slow and we always have to wait for you. So you don't get to play!"
"But that's not fair!" Junsu whined. He crossed his arms and collapsed onto the sandy floor, glaring his feet. It was true that he sometimes lagged behind, but he wasn't that slow! Stupid Yoochun! Yoochun was just jealous of how cute and perfect he was.
Junsu took out the black crayon that he always kept in his pocket and drew on the wooden ledge that made up the border of the sandbox.
"Eukyangkyangkyang," Junsu snickered as he looked over his artwork. One day, he would show them all. One day...
Yunho jumped onto the wooden border, then turned back to the other two. "Hop on one leg twenty times without falling!"
Yunho started hopping. Yoochun and Jaejoong jumped up next to him and did the same.
"Joongie, you have to raise your knee up higher," Yunho said, feeling very leader-like whenever he gave out orders like this.
Jaejoong raised his arm.
"No, Joongie, I said to raise your knee!"
"I AM raising my knee!!" Jaejoong stretched his hand as far up as he could.
Yunho stopped hopping and the other two stopped with him. "Sorry Joongie, but you're out. You raised your arm when I told you to raise your knee."
"...But isn't my knee on my arm?" Jaejoong asked innocently. Yoochun and Yunho stared at him blankly.
".......No, Joongie. Your knee is on your leg." Yunho pointed to it. Jaejoong looked back and forth between his elbow and his knee, eyes widening as realization dawned on him.
"JAEJOONG DOESN'T KNOW WHAT A KNEE IS!!" Yoochun burst into hysterics, falling off the ledge and rolling around with laughter on the sand.
"B-but but... but I... but," Jaejoong pouted and his loosely balled fists shot up to his chin, "But Yunnie, they look so SIMILAR!" Jaejoong looked at Yunho with impossibly big, teary eyes.
Uh oh, Yunho thought. "Joongie," he said gently, "It's okay. It's just a game. We can play something else."
Jaejoong stared dejectedly at the ground. "It's okay, Yunnie. You don't have to stop playing just 'cause of me." But he continued to sniffle pitifully, and Yunho's little heart melted at the sight.
"Okay, Joongie," Yunho said with a defeated sigh.
"Okay what?" Jaejoong asked and added an extra sniffle for good measure.
"Okay, I'll let you back in the game."
Jaejoong brightened up so suspiciously fast that it was almost as if he hadn't even been sad in the first place. "YUNNIE!♥" Jaejoong yelled as he launched himself at the other boy and tackled him onto the sand.
"Joongie...can't...breathe..." Yunho gasped as he slowly suffocated under the crushing weight of Jaejoong's hug.
Yoochun snickered from where he sat a few feet away. "Jaejoong likes Yunho! Jaejoong likes Yunho! Jaejoongie and Yunho sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-"
Jaejoong pushed Yunho away from him so fast that the wind was knocked out of him for a second time.
"I do not! Yunho's a BOY!"
"And Jaejoongie is a GIRL! A girl who likes Yunho!"
Jaejoong growled and immediately gave chase. Yoochun ran away just as quickly while chanting, "Girly Jaejoong likes Yunho!"
"Yoochun," Yunho said once he could breathe again, "You should say sorry before Joongie beats you up again-" But before he could finish his sentence, it was already too late.
Junsu looked up from where he was writing DIE YOOCHUN DIE on the wood to see that very same boy running towards him with a PO'd Jaejoong close behind. And he was suddenly struck with a brilliant idea: he stuck his leg out.
"JUNSU WTF!!!" Yoochun screamed as he crash-landed onto the torso of David. Jaejoong leapt onto his back, effectively pinning Yoochun as hit him on the head over and over.
"My masterwork!" Changmin yelled indignantly. He threw his pail dangerously close to Yoochun's much-abused head. "Now I'll never be a famous artist!"
Changmin huffed as he watched Jaejoong slap Yoochun into submission and promised to himself that he would never ever ever ever let his friends come within a one-mile radius of his house again.
When Jaejoong brings a batch of homemade cookies the next weekend, that promise is mysteriously forgotten.