[fic] Blind Eye

[belluminabyssus]

title: Blind Eye
universe: N/A
characters: Brannoc Llyr
word count: 1116
A/N: For brigits_flame, September Week 1. The prompt was the video version of a cover of The Rolling Stones's "Gimme Shelter." It's one of my favourite songs by the Stones, and I took my inspiration mostly from the lyrics. Granted, I have no idea how this came out because I just kept

Comments

[bluegerl]

I like! The butler is a real character! ever the optimist grinning back - its a lovely last line! The fatalism in the middle - its gonna come - so... I really liked this... Brannoc must get out and about more - will he?

[belluminabyssus]

Haha thank you -- this one took a lot out of me but I think it broke my writer's block, so that's a good thing. :)

[maniccartoonist]

I agree with bluegerl; I liked the butler as a character most of all. In fact, I wish that the relationship (or lack thereof) between him and Brannoc was outline in greater detail. The dialogue between the two of them is my favorite part. Incidentally,

Brannoc said, "Stop that, it's only veneer."

The butler said, "Is it, sir? I hadn't noticed."

is my favorite part of the whole piece. :)

[belluminabyssus]

Unsurprisingly, that bit is where I really (finally) started to hit my stride -- this was a very rushed piece but I absolutely HAD to get something in this month, so even though it lacked a bit of fleshing out, I'm glad you still enjoyed it. Maybe I'll do something more to this one day. :)

[bluegerl]

Am glad I have been asked to Roar, because I can read it again, and again. I love the first two sentences - very very descriptive...wood viscera... ugh, but brilliant. And honestly it could be any town anywhere, but it is somehow special as well. You have managed to put in such a wealth of 'thoughts to be thunk' in this piece. I'm wandering off thinking of Brannocs life before... its super duper. I really do think you should give us more of this chap. Sounds like a survivor...

Re: Edit!

[belluminabyssus]

Thanks for the edit, Thora! I know this one isn't quite up to par >.> I just HAD to get something in and this was the only thing that came to mind, and it wasn't particularly well thought out at that. XD I squeaked it by in the last few minutes of the poll being open!

Re: Edit!

[belluminabyssus]

Pffft, of course not! That's your job. :D

[writteninsight]

True story.

I read this while talking on the phone with my business partner about our sales page for the course that's going live on Monday. I broke into the conversation to read her the first paragraph, and she was seriously speechless for about 30 seconds. And then she goes, "Wow, that's just... wow."

This is someone that hasn't read a piece of fiction since high school, and she's approaching 30.

Excellent job.

[belluminabyssus]

Wow -- that's officially the best compliment I have ever, ever received. I'm flattered to the point of near speechlessness. Thank you, and I'm glad you (both) enjoyed!