i think casually sleeping with someone in college is fine, though i wouldn't suggest sleeping with friends (especially close friends), because it definitely gets messy. i think it's more of a personal choice though, whether you feel comfortable enough with someone to sleep with them.
i kind of have a little secret test. i don't do one night stands but i do a series of stands basically its with boys i dont trust or respect enough to be my boyfriend but boys i like and feel some sort of connection with. sometimes it's been friends and sometimes it's been the bad boy i've longed for forever but knew would end up breaking my heart. so i set up a few secret tests, not many though bc im not looking for a relationship, and if they pass, it makes me feel safe that im not going to regret anything. if they fail, i let it go at a few kisses here and there and slowly revert the relationship back to what it was before the option of more was introduced.
it's tricky tho bc sometimes the minirelationship can go wrong and there's a lot of risk of ruining the friendship but it's a lot of fun, with the right mind set. plus, plenty of guys fail the minitests so when one passes, it's even more fun bc they've met the standard u set out for them and you dont feel like a slut.
Doesn't it come down to how you feel deep down in your gut about it? It might not even be about x policy or y policy, but about the context, the situation, and who you are. Whatever you decide, you pretty much rock :).
Interesting post. I feel like LJ has gotten interesting again as of late.
I'm sort of in the same predicament. I am comfortable not "sleeping around" (I really hate the negative connotation that goes along with that term, but I don't really know a more succinct way to describe it, though I guess this parenthetical addendum defeats the purpose of that) for three main reasons. First, I think it'd be weird, if not during, surely after. Second, my hypochondriac germophobe Registered Nurse mother did an excellent job scaring the shit out of me about STDs, so I need to trust the person. Third, I have to feel something beyond sexual attraction to have intercourse with someone I wasn't with romantically (unless I'm out of my mind obliterted, but thankfully I haven't yet tested that); this goes along with the idea that I want to be able to see something beyond that moment with the person, but people who just sort of sleep around for the hell of it aren't really the type I'd date in general.
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i don't do one night stands but i do a series of stands
basically its with boys i dont trust or respect enough to be my boyfriend but boys i like and feel some sort of connection with. sometimes it's been friends and sometimes it's been the bad boy i've longed for forever but knew would end up breaking my heart.
so i set up a few secret tests, not many though bc im not looking for a relationship, and if they pass, it makes me feel safe that im not going to regret anything.
if they fail, i let it go at a few kisses here and there and slowly revert the relationship back to what it was before the option of more was introduced.
it's tricky tho bc sometimes the minirelationship can go wrong and there's a lot of risk of ruining the friendship but it's a lot of fun, with the right mind set. plus, plenty of guys fail the minitests so when one passes, it's even more fun bc they've met the standard u set out for them and you dont feel like a slut.
hope that helped a little?
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I'm sort of in the same predicament. I am comfortable not "sleeping around" (I really hate the negative connotation that goes along with that term, but I don't really know a more succinct way to describe it, though I guess this parenthetical addendum defeats the purpose of that) for three main reasons. First, I think it'd be weird, if not during, surely after. Second, my hypochondriac germophobe Registered Nurse mother did an excellent job scaring the shit out of me about STDs, so I need to trust the person. Third, I have to feel something beyond sexual attraction to have intercourse with someone I wasn't with romantically (unless I'm out of my mind obliterted, but thankfully I haven't yet tested that); this goes along with the idea that I want to be able to see something beyond that moment with the person, but people who just sort of sleep around for the hell of it aren't really the type I'd date in general.
Anyway, thank god for the other 3 bases.
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