Spin the Light to Gold (J2, NC-17) 3/6

[belyste]

But while that thought is mildly exciting at lunchtime, by late afternoon it’s become totally nerve-wracking. Jared tries to distract himself by taking an extra-long shower and picking out clothes that will make him feel confident, but he fails on both accounts - he feels guilty wasting water, and he has no idea if any of his clothes actually make him look better than others. They’re all just shorts and t-shirts, mostly, with the odd pair of jeans for when the evenings get cool.

And then Chad wanders into the cabin, and after taking in the scene - a freshly showered, half-dressed Jared alternating between pacing the floor and staring at the clothes strewn across his bed - he raises his eyebrows. “Hot date?”

Jared jumps. “Jesus. Would it kill you to make some noise or something?” He reaches for the first shirt and pair of jeans he finds, quickly throwing them on and stuffing the rest of his clothes back into the dresser.

Chad flops down on his bed. “Normally you’re telling me to shut up and stop making so much noise. Make up your mind.”

“That’s because you snore like a rampaging grizzly,” Jared says. “But I didn’t say you should switch to freaky ninja quiet, either.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t do mediocre,” Chad says. “So you’re going to have to pick one and stick with it.”

Jared’s too busy messing with his hair in the mirror to answer. Chad has all kinds of gels and mousses that would probably help, but Jared doesn’t want to look like he’s trying too hard for a casual guitar lesson. Plus, he doesn’t want anything sticky in his hair just in case Jensen happens to, you know, touch it. Or run his fingers through it. Not that Jared’s expecting it to happen, he’s just planning ahead.

“Seriously,” Chad says, “What are you freaking out about?”

“Nothing,” Jared says, giving up on his hair and sitting down on his bed. “I just took a shower and now I’m getting dressed so I can go to dinner. That’s all.”

Chad’s gaze flicks down, and Jared realizes he’s jiggling his leg so hard the bed’s shaking. Chad raises his eyebrows again.

“Okay, and then afterwards Jensen’s giving me a guitar lesson,” Jared says. “But I’m not freaking out.”

Chad sighs. “You’re the worst liar in the world. We really need to work on that before we get you a fake ID.” He leans back on his elbows. “So, you going to make him your girlfriend, or what?”

Jared’s mouth drops open, but somehow all the denials that spring to his mind never make their way out. “Uh,” he says, finally. “Um. Maybe?”

Chad nods.

After a long moment, Jared ventures, “Are you - is that - “

“Fuck, man, I don’t care,” Chad says immediately. “One less guy to compete with. And at least somebody’ll be getting some, then.” He tilts his head thoughtfully. “You might have the right idea, actually. Women are fucking crazy.”

It’s not the most sensitive thing Chad’s ever said, but considering the fact that Sophia’s threatening a restraining order now, after Chad tried to serenade her with love poetry into the early hours of the morning, Jared doesn’t take offense.

Besides, he has too much on his mind with the impending guitar lesson to worry much about it. He’s glad Chad’s cool with the whole thing, and it would be really awesome if Jared did end up getting some, but he’s more worried he’s going to screw the whole thing up and send Jensen screaming into the woods.

Jared’s stomach is fluttering so much by dinner that he barely eats anything, just nibbles at his sloppy joes, and if two thirds of the table didn’t already know why, Jared’s sure someone would be making a comment. But the female contingent is clearly in the know - he keeps getting winks from Kristen and Sandy - and Chad’s giving him nudges. Only Jensen and Mike and Tom are actually eating, not just watching the show.

Finally Jared can’t stand it anymore, and he wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans before standing up. He catches Jensen’s eye and nods toward the door, and he’s relieved when Jensen gets up too.

“I borrowed Mike’s guitar for you,” Jensen says, as soon as they’re outside the lodge. “It’s in my cabin. I’ll grab it and meet you by the fire pit, okay?”

Jared nods. The fire pit is around the backside of the lodge, down a hill and facing out at the lake, so there’s a good breeze to keep the bugs away. It’s still pretty light out, the sun just starting to set, so they should be good for an hour or two. And Jared doesn’t even really know why he’s calculating the light, but thinking about inane things is better than worrying. At least, that’s what he tells himself when he spends a good five minutes picking the optimal bench to sit on based on light and wind and view of the lake.

Thankfully, Jensen shows up before Jared can obsess over where to have his hands (in his pockets? On his legs? On the bench?) and sits down next to him, handing Jared a guitar before getting his out of its case.

Jared takes the distraction with gratitude, hefting the guitar in his hands and getting the feel of it. He settles it on his lap, thumbing the strings, and listens to the faint notes and the squeal of his left fingers sliding on the strings. There’s a pick stuck up at the end, so Jared tries strumming, wrinkling his nose at the discordant notes.

“Okay,” Jensen says, sliding the strap over his shoulder and throwing a leg over the bench, turning to face Jared. “First things first - the strings. This top one is E. Then it’s A, D, G, B, and E again.”

He walks Jared through the basics, showing him how to press along the frets with his left hand and play the strings with his right, then he heads right into chords.

“Okay, the easiest is probably G,” Jensen says. He arranges his fingers and waits for Jared to copy him. When the chord Jared strums comes out sounding mostly the same, he grins. “Yep, that’s it. Next, try C.” When Jared finds that one, too, he says, “Awesome. Now try going between them.”

It takes a little more work to switch chords, to get his fingers to remember the feel of them, but within a few minutes Jared’s going between the two pretty easily, and even picking up speed.

“Awesome,” Jensen says again. “See, it’s not that hard. You’re already qualified to play just about any song Weezer ever wrote. Campfire songs are not far off.”

He moves on to more chords and strumming, and Jared almost forgets about the whole possible seduction thing, because this is fun. He’s not very good, but those are recognizable chords coming from his fingers, and he’s pretty sure that if he practices enough, he’ll be able to play at least a few of the songs they sing regularly. If he gets Jensen to write down the chord progressions for the harder ones, Jared can probably pick those up too, given enough time and determination.

And then Jensen says, “Want to try a song?”

He picks Down in the Valley, gives Jared the chords, and starts them out glacially slow, giving Jared enough time to shuffle his fingers between chords. At first they’re just playing in unison, but then Jensen throws in a few more notes, leaving Jared to cover the basic repetitive bits while he outlines the vocal part. And then, when they’re going along pretty good, he starts to sing. His voice is soft at first, a little shy, but as they go on he relaxes and it becomes stronger. Jared’s slow to hit his notes for a second, but he can’t help it - Jensen has a nice voice, and alone with two guitars, it sounds a lot different than when they’re surrounded by kids. More intimate, somehow.

It’s a ridiculously sappy song - angels in heaven and love letters and hearts eased by embraces - but when Jensen sings the part about down in the valley, walking between, telling our story, here’s what it means, it sounds a lot more meaningful than when a bunch of preadolescent kids are singing it.

When they come to the end, finishing with a flourish on a held-out C, Jared can’t resist shooting his fists into the air in celebration. Jensen grins at him, bright and proud, and as Jared’s smiling back, it’s like something sparks between them. Their eyes catch in a drawn-out moment, and something warm unfolds in Jared’s chest, reminding him exactly why he’s out here in the first place. Jensen looks away first, but he’s blushing a little, and that’s when Jared makes up his mind.

“I kind of messed up that F at the end,” he says. “It didn’t sound right.”

“It’s a weird position for your hand to get used to,” Jensen agrees. “Try it one string at a time.”

Jared arranges his fingers the way Jensen showed him, dragging the pick across the strings, but it’s still discordant, and he’s not sure which of his fingers is causing the problem.

“It’s - you have to turn your index finger a little to the side, so that you’re catching both - and your pinky needs to go - “

“Yeah, it’s kind of hard, just watching you,” Jared says. “Maybe you could show me?”

Jensen reaches out to position Jared’s fingers with his own, but Jared says, “Um. Maybe it would be easier if you were, uh…behind me? You know, so our fingers were the same way.”

Jensen’s eyes flick up to Jared’s, watching him, and Jared holds his breath. But then Jensen nods and stands, slipping his guitar off and setting it down before crossing behind Jared. And then he’s sitting down, both of them straddling the bench, and Jensen’s knees are outside Jared’s, thighs along his, and Jensen’s chest is brushing his back as he leans over Jared’s shoulder to see his hand.

He smells good, soap and sweat and leftover suntan lotion, and Jared can barely concentrate as Jensen reshapes his fingers, pressing his index finger down and tucking his pinky in next to his ring finger. It’s a little embarrassing to be so stupidly turned on by the way Jensen smells, but he can’t really help it. All of Jensen pressed up against him at once is kind of overwhelming.

“There, try that,” Jensen says softly, leaning his chin against Jared’s shoulder, and Jared tries to dredge up enough brainpower to get his right hand moving, strumming the strings. The chord barely sounds, but Jared says, “’S’good,” and after a pause, Jensen says, “Yeah.”

It’s barely more than a puff of warm breath against Jared’s neck, and it sends a shiver through him. There’s a long pause where neither of them moves or says anything, just frozen in place, but just before Jared thinks he might explode, Jensen whispers, “Jared,” and as soon as Jared turns his head, Jensen’s kissing him.

It’s a little awkward with Jared still moving and the weird angle, and Jensen’s lips end up pressed to the corner of Jared’s mouth, but it’s only a second before Jensen’s reaching up to steady him and Jared’s twisting further back and it’s better. So much better, because Jensen’s thumb is brushing along Jared’s jaw, the angle just right, and he’s got Jared’s bottom lip between his, and it feels amazing. And from this close up Jared can tell that Jensen definitely shaved recently, and while he doesn’t normally find other guys’ shaving habits sexy, this means Jensen at least considered that something like this might happen, and that’s weirdly hot.

But the way Jensen’s kissing him, fast and hungry, is much hotter, so Jared concentrates on that, because he has a feeling it would be all too easy to forget about boring things like breathing with Jensen so close, and the last thing Jared wants is to pass out and miss something. He’s already feeling a little light-headed. And it sounds incredibly girly, but somehow Jensen’s tongue in his mouth sparks sensations Jared can feel down to his toes. He wants more, but he’s not sure how to get it.

He reaches out blindly, wanting to touch Jensen any way he can, but with the guitar in his lap, his options are limited. The best he can manage is a hand on Jensen’s thigh, but that’s pretty nice. Jensen’s muscles tense under his hand when he squeezes hard, and when Jared’s thumb slips down to rub along the inseam, Jensen groans and pulls away. “God, get rid of the guitar,” he says, shoving the strap over Jared’s head.

Jared’s only too happy to go with that plan, but when he gets the guitar safely out of the way, Jensen stops him from turning around, keeping them both facing forward on the bench. Jared’s confused for a second, but then Jensen pulls him back harder, thighs snug around his hips, and pushes up his shirt to - oh, God - go for his fly.

That’s a first for Jared, anyone’s hand on his dick but his own, but when Jensen says, “Okay?” just a little breathless behind him, Jared’s sure as hell not going to say no. Especially not when Jensen gets him unzipped and pulls him out, because holy shit, it really does feel different when it’s someone else touching you. Different, and way, way better.

He doesn’t even realize he’s making noise until Jensen says, “Shh, don’t want anyone to hear,” and then it’s not exactly easy to keep it down, what with the way Jensen’s hand tightens around him as he strokes, thumb coming up to swipe across the head. Jared steadies himself with both hands on Jensen’s thighs again, leaning back, and Jensen says, “Relax, I gotcha,” sucking kisses into his neck, biting lightly where his shirt collar starts.

Jared’s not relaxing, not anytime soon, but he likes the sound of Jensen’s voice, low and husky, in his ear. And then Jensen says, “God, wanted to do this for so long,” and that’s even better. “Since I met you. Jesus, since I saw you. So fucking hot, Jared.”

And that - that’s it. Jared can only stand so much, and Jensen saying things like that in his ear during his first handjob has him tensing and coming all over Jensen’s hand in seconds.

Jensen groans with him, stroking Jared through it, then laughs when Jared slumps back against him, completely boneless. It takes a few minutes for Jared to catch his breath and get his heart rate down to something less than hummingbird speed, and then he gets a little caught up in the awesomeness that just occurred, so a fair bit of time goes by before he remembers that an integral part of sex with someone other than yourself is reciprocity.

“Shit, sorry,” he says, trying to coordinate his limbs enough to sit up and turn halfway around. “Are you - do you want me to - ?” He makes a vague gesture, cheeks burning.

But Jensen clutches him hard, hands on his hip and side to keep him from moving, and says, “Just - like that,” and oh, fuck. Jared wasn’t really paying attention before, but when Jensen moves his hips a little, it pushes his cock right into the small of Jared’s back, denim scraping along the skin where his shirt rides up. Jensen makes a small sound that sends Jared’s stomach into a swoop, and then he’s thrusting faster, pulling Jared even closer. Jared braces his hands on the bench and gives Jensen something to work with, pushing back into him with the little leverage he has, and it’s not long before Jensen’s breathing, hot and fast and sending goosebumps down the back of Jared’s neck, stutters. His grip tightens even more, and he jerks into Jared a few more times before he stills, slumping forward to rest his forehead against Jared’s shoulders.

Jared, for his part, tries to gather up his scrambled thoughts and process what the fuck just happened, because he’s pretty sure he’s going to want to relive this moment every time he’s in the shower for the next ten years, and he wants to get all the details right. The way Jensen’s warm breath is making his shirt damp, the sweat gathering at his hairline, the complete and total awesomeness of a handjob with a hand that’s not your own.

Behind him, Jensen clears his throat and slowly disentangles himself, grimacing when his come-covered hand sticks to Jared’s shirt when he lets go. “Um, sorry about that.” His voice is deeper than usual, a little raspy, and Jared says, “It’s okay,” a little faster than he probably should.

There’s a few moments of quiet as they both get themselves situated, Jared rearranging and zipping up and Jensen wiping his hand on his shirt, and it’s only when they’re both done, standing up and brushing off, that a little bit of panic hits Jared. Because he’s not sure exactly what you’re supposed to do after someone jerks you off, and all the manners his mom drilled into him aren’t really helpful in this situation. He doesn’t think Jensen would appreciate a firm handshake as a thank you.

But thankfully Jensen seems to know what he’s doing, and when Jared turns to say something, possibly awkward and probably embarrassing, Jensen just slides a hand around the back of his neck and pulls him in for a kiss. Jared can’t help grinning against Jensen’s mouth, because this - chests brushing and Jensen’s hand spread out against his lower back - this is way better than any conversation. When they break apart, Jensen sighs. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Jared says, handing him Mike’s guitar. “Thanks for the, uh. The lesson.”

Jensen grins. “No problem. You’re a good student. Fast learner.”

He throws Jared a wink over his shoulder when he heads off. Jared’s stupidly huge grin doesn’t go away all the way back to his cabin.




*     *     *

Jared’s sure everyone’s going to know the next morning, because it feels like it’s written all over his face in capital letters (though not like the time with Chad and the tequila and the permanent marker, because his mom grounded him for a month when she saw that word on his forehead, even if he didn’t do it). And then he’s dishing up some cereal at the front table - the kitchen staff gets the weekends off, too, so it’s just the basic do-it-yourself fare - and someone comes up next to him, standing close enough to brush against his arm.

It’s Jensen, of course, and he gives Jared a little smile as he reaches across him for a bagel, leaning in a second longer than he has to. Jared bumps him with his hip, and Jensen flicks a breadcrumb at Jared’s forehead before heading over to the table.

Jared’s sure that the whole room will be watching when he turns around, but the other counselors aren’t even looking, buried in their own breakfasts, and no one witnessed the flirting. Jared shrugs to himself and carries his cereal over to an empty spot by Kristen, letting himself relax a little.

In fact, it’s not until the table’s almost cleared that Kristen says, “Oh, hey, how’d the guitar lesson go?”

It’s a good thing Jensen’s already gone, because Jared immediately chokes on his orange juice. “Uh. It was, um…educational.” He’s blushing like crazy, and fuck, Chad was right about the lying. Jared totally sucks at it.

Kristen apparently got that memo, because she gasps. “Oh my God, Jared! What happened? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him? Was there groping?”

Her questions attract the attention of Sandy and Sophia, and when faced with three inquiring females, Jared falters. “Um. It - well, actually, he - “

“Jared. Yes or no,” Sophia instructs.

“Uh, yes,” Jared says weakly.

“Oh my God!” they squeal in unison.

“Wait, yes to which one?” Kristen demands. “The kissing? The groping? What?”

Jared doesn’t really want to tell the whole story, especially since he’s not sure Jensen wants him telling anyone at all, so he settles for shaking his head. “I’m not going to kiss and tell.”

“So there was kissing!” Kristen says triumphantly.

Jared just shrugs, but he can’t quite keep a grin off his face.

“I told you!” Sandy says gleefully. “He’s totally into you. And you’re into him, and this is seriously the most adorable thing ever.”

“Watch out,” Sophia advises Jared, scooping the last spoonfuls of milk from her bowl. “If you don’t stop her, she’ll head straight for the wedding planning.”

“I will not,” Sandy says, waving her spoon. “Although, just for the record, you two would look amazing in matching tuxes.”

“Ooh, yes,” Kristen says. “And a little pair of grooms on the cake. It’d be so cute.”

“We’re not getting married,” Jared says. “Jesus. It was just one time.”

“But you won’t tell us about it, so I have to imagine things like your wedding,” Sandy replies. “Give me details or tell me what kind of flower you want pinned to your lapel.”

Just thinking about describing what happened last night has Jared blushing again, so he deflects. “Why do you even want to know?”

“Because I’m not getting any,” Sandy says matter-of-factly. “And I need to live vicariously through someone. I tried it with Sophia, but Chad’s way too sketchy for me.” She turns to
Sophia. “No offense.”

Sophia shrugs. “None taken.”

“And Kristen’s boyfriend is all the way back home, so you’re really my only option.” She tilts her head. “Besides, you and Jensen are super hot together.” Kristen and Sophia nod.

“Well, um, thanks,” Jared says. “But describing my sex life for you to get off on is a little too weird for me.”

Kristen gasps. “So there was sex!”

“I didn’t say that!”

“You totally did,” Sophia says, eyes wide. “I’m impressed, Jared. We expected a lot more angsting and possibly some gay panic before you got that far.”

Sandy nods. “A few weeks, at least. So, what are we talking, here? Hands? Mouths?” She pauses. “Asses?”

Jared groans and buries his head in his hands. He should have thought about things like this before getting half the camp’s population involved in his love life. Then again, it’s not like anyone really gave him a choice.

“Come on, you can at least give us that much.”

“I really can’t,” Jared says firmly, gathering up his dishes and standing. The girls make disappointed noises, but whatever. Jared’s more concerned with his safeguarding his new relationship with Jensen - namely, making sure that he gets to make out with Jensen a lot more. He’s not going to jeopardize that by telling all the details and risking Jensen hearing it from someone else.

In fact, finding Jensen right now sounds like a good idea. Not just for the making out, although Jared wouldn’t say no to that, but so they can hang out or play guitar more or something.

But when Jared gets through the dining hall doors, he runs straight into Chad, who jingles his truck keys. “Ready to go?”

And that’s when Jared remembers that he promised to go to town with Chad today. Not “town” as in the general store, but “town” as in an actual town with multiple buildings and more than one street and maybe even a stoplight. There’s one about half an hour to the east, and Chad said he was suffering from civilization withdrawal and that if he didn’t spend some quality time around things like cars and pavement and pollution, he’d go crazy.

Jared thinks there’s something wrong with craving smog over fresh air, but he also figured Chad really wanted to get away from Sophia for a day, so he agreed. Sophia’s still holding strong against any kind of reconciliation (she even gave Chad the infamous “not even if you were the last mammal on the planet” speech), and Jared thought he should be a good friend and go along.

But it turns out that the town’s farther away then they thought, and Chad’s plan was really more to scope out local women than enjoy the material comforts of civilization. Jared ends up trolling the tiny mall for prospective women and making himself scarce when Chad zones in (because no matter what Chad promises in exchange, Jared is not playing his slow little brother to impress women. That’s crossing a line).

And then, after Chad finally succeeds in getting a number from a girl Jared isn’t sure is even legal (she’s still got braces, for God’s sake) Chad wants a victory dinner. And to see a movie, because this might be their only chance to sit in front of a crappy horror flick on the big screen all summer.

By the time they get back to Shady Lake it’s almost ten o’clock, and when Jared goes looking for Jensen, Allison and Tom tell him Jensen just left for the bar with Mike.

“Apparently Mike’s got his eye on some townie he met at the video store,” Allison says.

“Wait, there’s a video store?” Jared asks. “Where?”

“Well, no,” Tom says. “She means the back hallway where they keep the movies at the general store.”

“Right,” Allison says. “Anyway, we’re not sure if Jensen went along to play wing man or make fun of Mike. Probably both.”

“Oh,” Jared says. “Well, okay. Thanks.”

The bar isn’t really a bar, either - it’s just a dozen stools off to the side of the general store where you can get a beer - but they’re weirdly strict for such a small town, which means minors are not allowed inside, even for a soda, after nine or so.

So that mostly ruins any chance of hanging out with Jensen on Saturday. Tom and Allison invite them to play a round of king’s cup, which turns out to be a bad idea - the drunker they get, the harder it is to remember what card stands for what activity, and pretty soon they’re just drinking on every draw. And then Jared ends up with the cup, which contains a disgusting mix of beer, Malibu, and whiskey, and he spends Sunday morning nursing the hangover from hell, which effectively kills any Jensen time before the campers arrive.

And it turns out that campers, as a rule, are the best cockblock ever invented. Jared ends up with a kid that makes Damian look angelic, and even after he gets sent home midweek for nearly blowing up the craft room, there’s still the matter of the other eleven boys, who require constant supervision. Candace spent most of that first week drilling it into the counselors’ heads that they’re responsible for these children every single minute of every day, so that rules out any sneaking out after hours. Even if Jared could get Jensen to agree to it, he’s not sure he could enjoy himself, not with all the horrible scenarios Candace put into their heads. It’s probably not likely that a camper would wake up flailing from a nightmare and fall out of bed, given the height of the rails on the bunks, but there’s always a possibility of slivers that could get infected or lead to septicemia in the middle of the night or something, and Jared would feel horrible if it happened while he was gone, even if Chad was there.

They still get to hang out, a little - Jensen comes to the craft room on his free period off and paints a truly ugly cat figurine, flirting all the while, and it’s dark enough at the edge of the campfire for Jensen to slide teasing fingers under the hem of Jared’s t-shirt - but other than fifteen minutes between the morning activity and lunch spent kissing behind the lodge, they barely have any time alone.

So, even though it makes him feel like kind of a bad person, Jared’s looking forward to the campers leaving on Friday morning. Really looking forward to it. The kids look at him a little weirdly when Jared offers to help them pack, but when he promises an extra cinnamon roll to the first one with all their stuff together, they shut up and get to work at double speed.

Then Jared just has to sit through breakfast and wait until his campers’ parents show up. Which is easy enough, but he doesn’t quite make it. He sees Jensen walking away after waving goodbye to his last kid, and even though he’s got two more himself, he sends them over to Chad and runs after Jensen. It’s no good having a co-counselor if you don’t take advantage of them from time to time, after all, and Chad’s certainly dumped his share of adolescent issues on Jared.

“Hey,” Jared calls, jogging up behind Jensen.

Jensen stops and turns, smiling when he sees Jared. “Hi. Campers all gone?”

“Yeah, free at last,” Jared says, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “So, now that we’re both kid-less, I was thinking that maybe we could hang out today? You know, have another guitar lesson or something.”

It’s not subtle, but it’s better than flat-out asking if Jensen wants to indulge in a little naked time. Judging by the way Jensen’s eyes darken at the question, he knows exactly what Jared means, and when he says, “Yeah, that’d be good,” Jared knows the answer’s definitely yes.

But then he grimaces and says, “But I can’t today. We’re doing the Rockville trip.”

“Oh.” Fuck. Rockville’s the nearest actual city to the camp, so the counselors make the drive when they need supplies and some time in a place where the people outnumber the trees. It’s an hour’s drive there and another back, and the last time they went, they spent the whole day out there and didn’t get back to camp until late at night.

“Yeah,” Jensen says. “I’d stay back, but there’s some stuff I really need to pick up.” He laughs a little. “I think I’d scare the campers if I stopped shaving and brushing my teeth.”

“They might mistake you for a crazy man who wandered out of the woods,” Jared agrees, smiling faintly. “It’s fine. Maybe tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah, definitely,” Jensen says. “Sorry.”

“No problem,” Jared says, waving him off. “I’ll get some practice in for the next guitar lesson.” He pauses. “I mean, with a real guitar. Not, you know - “

Jensen’s eyebrows shoot up, and Jared fights down a blush. “Okay. I’m just going to leave now.”

But he’s barely two steps away before Jensen’s grabbing his arm, and when he turns, Jensen’s laughing. “You have a dirty mind,” he says, and Jared can’t tell if he’s impressed or frightened. Maybe a little of both.

“Too much time with Sandy and Sophia,” Jared mumbles, making Jensen laugh again.

“Yeah, they’re master corrupters. They look sweet, but it’s all a façade.”

“No kidding,” Jared says. “It’s dangerously false advertising.”

“Hey, so,” Jensen says, squeezing a little with the hand that’s still on Jared’s arm. “I only just made the logical leap, but you should come with us.” He smirks. “You know, if you’re not too busy practicing guitar.”

Jared punches his arm and says “Shut up,” out of reflex, but then he asks, “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, of course,” Jensen says. “We were going to take two cars this time, anyway. You might have to squish in the backseat, but I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He raises an eyebrow at Jared. “You probably have to squish in most backseats anyway, so it’ll be like normal.”

“Pretty much,” Jared agrees. “But yeah, that’d be cool. Are you leaving soon?”

“As soon as I find Allison. We’re all supposed to be meeting up by the cars as soon as we ditch the kids, so if you want to grab your stuff, I’ll tell them to wait.”

Jared heads back to the cabin for his wallet. There’s nothing in particular he needs from town, but it would be nice to have some new socks and maybe some soap that didn’t come from the general store. They only stock generic brands no one’s ever heard of, and everything’s dusty and old from sitting on a shelf for so long.

Chad’s at the cabin, lying on his bed. “Not going to Rockville?” Jared asks.

“Nah. Hot date.”

“Really? With the girl from last weekend?”

“Yep,” Chad says, holding up his phone and the gum wrapper she gave him with her number. “Or it will be, after I call her.”

“And is that going to be sometime soon?”

“Not too soon,” Chad replies. “I don’t want to look desperate.”

“It’s been a week.”

“Exactly. Now she’ll be wondering what happened to me, so when I call, she’ll be happy to hear from me.”

“Okay, whatever,” Jared says. “Good luck with that. See you later.”

Chad waves.

When Jared gets back to the cars, it turns out that everyone except for Chad is coming. They split up and pile into the cars, and Jared ends up in Sophia’s backseat, which is a little bit scary, and squished just as Jensen predicted. But he’s squished in next to Jensen, so it’s not that bad. Sophia’s not the most reassuring driver (she tends to forget about the road in favor of belting along with the CD player, and it makes Jared nervous when she drives with her knees and turns all the way to face Sandy in the passenger seat) but every time she takes a curve fast or makes a last-minute turn, he has another excuse to press up against Jensen.

They can’t really do more than that. Jensen takes Jared’s fingers under the guise of checking for any guitar calluses, stroking up and down each one and rubbing his thumb along Jared’s palm, but when Sandy turns around to tell them something, he lets go, so it’s mostly just their legs brushing. Jensen does take Jared’s wrist for a second, though, grinning at the sight of the bracelet he made. Jared didn’t mean to leave it on (seriously, he was going to take it off right after Jensen put it on him, but then he showered and the knots tightened up and he forgot, and now it’s pretty much hopeless) but he sure as hell doesn’t regret it when Jensen spends most of the ride playing with it, slipping teasing fingers under the leather to stroke Jared’s wrist.

When they get to Rockville, Sophia heads straight for the Super Target on the edge of town. As soon as she’s got the car in park, she and Sandy are jumping out and sprinting for the store, racing Mike and Allison from their parking spot.

Jensen hangs back with Jared, shaking his head. “They always go a little crazy at first. It’s like taking a hit after months of withdrawal.”

Jared thinks it’s a little extreme to compare Target to a drug addiction, but when they step through the doors, he understands a little better. The store spreads out in front of them, dozens of aisles in every direction, food and clothes and electronics and everything anyone could ever want to buy, and it’s kind of intoxicating. Jared can’t decide which direction he wants to go first - the food is the most alluring, especially after weeks of camp fare, but there’s also music and movies and honest-to-God technology, besides all the things he actually needs to pick up.

Jensen smirks at his wide-eyed look, grabbing two baskets and pushing him gently toward the aisles of toiletries. “It’s best not to get sidetracked by the shiny stuff right away. Plenty of time for that later.”

He sticks with Jared through the aisles of soap and shampoo, critiquing his choice of razors and deodorant and slipping kiwi-strawberry body wash into his basket when Jared’s not looking, and when they head over to the men’s section, he starts picking out weird underwear for Jared.

Jared’s a little traumatized by the fact that Target carries thongs for men (seriously, why? And how much did they have to pay that guy on the front to smile like that’s comfortable?) and he’s never going to wear a pair of boxers with Spongebob on them, no matter what Jensen does, but he ends up with a pair of ugly striped briefs, because Jensen plays dirty.

“Come on, Jared, they’re underwear,” he says, chucking them in Jared’s basket despite his protests. “You wear them under your clothes. No one’s going to see them.”

“Of course they - “ Jared realizes what he’s saying halfway through it and cuts himself off with an awkward cough. “Um. I mean, somebody…might. Maybe?”

Jensen’s hand freezes in the middle of flicking through plastic packages. “Somebody?” He looks at Jared out of the corner of his eye. “Somebody might?”

Jared fights down a blush, but doesn’t look away. “Well, yeah. If that’s - I mean, if you - “

But then Jensen’s grabbing Jared’s hand and yanking him behind a display, dumping both their baskets to the ground, and saying, “God, you’re so - are you trying to drive me crazy?” before kissing him.

“You’re the one who - “Jared starts, but Jensen interrupts him with another kiss, and it’s really not worth arguing about, anyway. They’re making out behind a giant cardboard sign advertising Hanes, and that’s a lot more important.

But it’s a few minutes until Jared hears Mike whooping and Tom yelling for people to get out of the way, and when there’s a screech of a cart’s wheels, Jensen groans and pulls back. “Better make sure they don’t kill anyone.”

They pick up their baskets and scattered items. Jensen pauses for a second to grab a pack of boxer briefs off a rack, and when he catches Jared watching him, he holds them up for approval, raising an eyebrow. Jared blushes, but nods. It sends a hot swoop through his stomach to know that he’s going to get to undress Jensen to those, to see him in even less than that.

But then there’s a loud crash, and Jared has to put those thoughts aside and rescue Mike from a shoe section collision.

And it turns out that Jensen wasn’t kidding about the counselors going a little nuts when they’re back in civilization for a while. They end up staying at Target for the entire rest of the day, making periodic trips to Food Avenue for sustenance and the furniture aisle for some rest. Jared had no idea you could spend so much time in one store, but after they play the video games and listen to samples from all kinds of CDs and read bits out of the worst romance novels and watch commercials on the plasma TVs and pick out horrible outfits for each other to try on, it’s dark out before he knows it. Jared ends up slumped in a plastic chair in the lawn furniture section dozing off while he waits for the girls to finish giving each other bad makeovers with the tester makeup. Jensen, slumped next to him at a glass table, has on lipstick and one perfectly round spot of rouge. Jared’s not sure why or how that happened, but he decides not to tell him.

So by the time it’s finally time to go, Jared’s exhausted and kind of punch-drunk, and he gets totally sidetracked in the toy aisle by this awesome little Lego dude. It’s one of those new ones, not the old-school inch-high people with cylindrical yellow heads and hair that popped on and off, and the thing is totally badass. It can change from a vaguely human thing to a dinosaur and even a fucking helicopter, and Jared just cannot get over how fucking cool that is.

“Wow. You’re not just five years old at heart,” Jensen says. “You’re actually five years old.”

“It’s a sophisticated piece of engineering,” Jared tells him. “I’m just admiring the versatility and creativity.”

“And you totally want to play with it.”

“Well, yeah. It’s awesome. How could you not?”

“Five. Years. Old,” Jensen repeats, shaking his head.

But when they make it through the registers and out into the parking lot, Jensen very sneakily slips a little cardboard box out of his plastic bag and into Jared’s, and just from the glimpse of the yellow packaging, Jared can tell it’s the crazy cool Lego man.

He really hopes they’re not supposed to be keeping this thing between them a secret, because he’s pretty sure that even inanimate objects couldn’t miss the way he’s grinning like a total idiot. Jensen acts like he’s too cool for it, trying to brush it off, but he can’t keep a tiny smile off his face, and he doesn’t push Jared away when he steps close, lifting his chin into the kiss without any hesitation. It’s just a few seconds before they’re interrupted by wolf whistles from their friends, but when Jared starts to move away, Jensen uses one hand to give them the finger and the other to pull Jared back in.

Jared doesn’t stop grinning the whole way home, even when Jensen falls asleep on his shoulder and drools on his shirt.

*     *     *

The next morning they have mandatory training, thanks to Candace finding a website full of new skits and songs she’s just dying to put into rotation, and by the time they wrap it up near dinnertime, Jared’s starving and sick of everything cute and wholesome and uplifting in the world. Which is good, because they’re having one of the usual clearing parties, and Mike just got two new decks of cards featuring some questionable art, which he’s definitely going to want to break in with some drinking games.

And Jared’s hoping that at some point he’ll have some alone time with Jensen, because a) they’ve had like zero alone time this week, and b) he kind of wants to talk about a few things.

So after dinner Jared goes back to the cabin and puts on his favorite t-shirt, finger-combs his hair, and takes a deep breath to settle the butterflies in his stomach before setting out for the clearing.

Jensen’s not there yet, so Jared helps Kristen get the fire going and starts roasting a marshmallow masterpiece (which will eventually be a part of his three-tiered extra chocolately s’more sandwich) while he waits.

But when he’s finally got the world’s best s’more perfectly constructed and moves away from the fire to figure out how to eat it, he sees Jensen across the clearing, laughing at something Allison’s saying.

And Jensen’s certainly not obligated to spend all his time with Jared, or even talk to him first, but it is a little weird that he almost totally ignores Jared. Even Sandy and Sophia, who come over to try to get Jared to roast their marshmallows for them (they claim his longer arms make it easier to stand the heat) ask if something happened.

Jared has absolutely no idea, which he tells them.

“Go over there,” Sophia encourages. “Maybe he’s just too shy to talk to you first.”

Given that Jensen kissed Jared first (and stuck his hand down Jared’s pants, for that matter), it doesn’t seem likely. Jared doesn’t want to be that paranoid guy who takes everything way too seriously, but it kind of sucks not knowing if he’d be welcome if he went over and interrupted whatever Jensen’s discussing with Allison and Mike.

Because the thing is, yesterday made Jared think. It wasn’t a big deal, them kissing in front of everyone - all the girls and Chad already knew, anyway - but now all the counselors know they’re together. The only problem is, Jared’s not sure exactly what “together” entails. This is his first time with all of this stuff, so he’s not sure exactly how these things are supposed to go, but he’s pretty sure he’s supposed to at least know what it is he and Jensen are doing - if they’re dating or just fooling around or friends with benefits or what. He doesn’t need a sappy declaration or a signed contract or anything, but some idea of what Jensen’s thinking would be nice.

When the sex happened last week Jared was a little (understandably) sidetracked, and he’s only now thinking that it would probably be nice if there’d been a little more lead-up.

Finally, after moping for a few more minutes and listening to a recap of Chad’s date with the mall girl (he ended up spending the whole time talking about his Sophia woes, but his date, instead of being horribly offended, gave him tips on winning her back. Jared’s glad someone else had to listen to the whole saga this time, but he does wish she wouldn’t have encouraged Chad’s madness), Jared decides this is stupid and gets up and heads over to the other side of the clearing. He’s not going to figure anything out without actually talking to Jensen.

Jensen looks up when Jared comes over, and for no reason Jared can understand, blushes.

“Hi,” Jared says lamely.

“Hey,” Jensen says.

Mike and Allison exchange looks, then quickly get up. “We’ll just leave you two alone,” Allison says brightly, taking Mike’s arm and dragging him over to the other side of the fire.

“Um, okay,” Jared says, watching them go. “Did I interrupt something?”

“No, they’re just - “ Jensen waves a hand, still a little pink. “Nothing.”

“Oh.” There’s an awkward silence, and Jared searches desperately for something to say. He’s only spent about an hour out of Jensen’s company all day, so it’s not like there’s much new and interesting to tell. He did take an abnormally long shower, but he doesn’t really need to share that with Jensen. Besides, his main jerk-off fantasy of the week has been the memory of what happened at their guitar lesson, so it wouldn’t exactly be news to Jensen.

But Jensen stands up, brushing off his jeans, and says, “Actually, I was just going to come over and talk to you.”

“Oh,” Jared says again. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jensen rubs his palms along the sides of his jeans longer than strictly necessary. “I, um - I was going to go to town. And I was wondering if you wanted to come with.”

It’s not what Jared was expecting, and he doesn’t exactly know what that translates to (“go to town” as in getting groceries or “go to town” as in “drive somewhere private and make out”?), but he’s nodding before Jensen’s done talking. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay,” Jensen says. “I’ve got my keys, so we can just walk to my truck.”

Mike and Allison give them exaggerated waves as they leave the clearing, and Jared’s still a little confused about what’s going on, but whatever. He’s going to be alone with Jensen, and even if they are just going to the store, that’s more than nothing.

“I didn’t know you had a truck,” he says when they reach the dirt lot where counselors keep their cars.

“Yeah, it’s not the most reliable thing,” Jensen says, unlocking the doors one at a time. “I just need it to last me until the fall, so I’m trying to drive it as little as possible and hope it hangs on.” He catches Jared’s hesitation as they climb in. “But tonight’s fine. Just a trip to town isn’t going to kill it.”

They talk a little on the way to town, mostly laughing about one of the new songs they had to learn, because singing lyrics to the “I Wish I Were” song with a straight face is hard enough, not to mention singing it around impressionable children. Jared likes the verse about being mud (being “ooey and gooey under everybody’s shoey” sounds kind of fun) but the one about being a mosquito (“buzzy and bitey under everybody’s nightie”) and being an orange (going “squirty, squirty, squirty over everybody’s shirty”) never fail to crack him up. And he can barely even sing the verse about being a can of soda - “I’d go down with a slurp and come up with a burp”? Seriously? People write that for little kids to sing? And since Candace has absolutely no sense of humor and wouldn’t understand why that’s a little suggestive, he has to hold it in. Jared’s not looking forward to keeping a straight face when the kids are doing the actions along with it.

When they’re within a mile of the general store, Jensen eases up a little on the gas. “So, there’s a lake nearby that’s kind of nice to look at.” He clears his throat. “I’ve got blankets in the back if you want to sit in the bed and, you know, talk.”

Jared’s pretty sure Jensen means “talk” more in the sense of “get horizontal and grope each other,” but it’s still the two of them alone, and it’s not like he’s against sex. He just needs to ask Jensen a few things before then. “The lake sounds great.”

Jensen nods and takes a left turn just outside of town. It goes from pavement to gravel to plain dirt, and dead-ends, like Jensen said, at a small public access to a lake. The lake’s nice enough - small, but clear, and there’s a nice view from the shoreline - but Jared’s more interested in helping Jensen spread the blankets out in the bed of the truck.

When they’re all arranged and the two of them are stretched out on their backs in the bed, looking out at the lake as the sun starts going down, it turns out Jensen really did want to talk. Or at least, that’s how it goes at first, with Jensen asking Jared how his week was.

But when Jared’s answered and turns the question on Jensen, he says, “My week? Not as good as it could have been.”

“Why not?”

Jensen rolls over up onto an elbow, putting his face inches from Jared’s, and grins, leaning down. “Because I barely got to have any time alone with you.”

And then he’s kissing Jared, soft and slow, and Jared wants more than anything to just go with it, because if the last time was any indication, he’s really going to enjoy whatever Jensen wants to do. But there’s still something a little squirmy in his stomach, and he’s apparently not a very good actor - before he can even say anything, Jensen’s pulling back, looking confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Jared says, “Just - “

“Just what?”

Jared sighs. “Just…what are we doing?”

“Well, that - what we were just doing - that’s called kissing,” Jensen says, deadpan. “It generally leads to other, even more fun activities. Did you sleep through sex ed or something?”

“Like I could sleep through that,” Jared replies. “Sex ed was terrifying.” It really was. The teachers all made sex sound like something dirty and dangerous at the same time, like you were taking your life in your hands every time you even thought about what they kept calling “intercourse.”

“Well, yeah,” Jensen says. “If they told you how fun it was, everyone would be doing it.” He pauses. “Or was last week not - ?”

“No, that’s not - last week was awesome,” Jared rushes to assure him. “It’s just that I’m not sure what this is. What we are to each other.”

Jensen’s quiet for a long moment, flopping over onto his back. Finally, he sighs. “I don’t know, Jared. Do we really have to put a label on it right now?”

Before Jared can say anything, he rolls over again so they’re face to face. “It’s just - I like you. I like talking to you. I like hanging out with you. And I like doing…other stuff…with you.” He shrugs. “It’s not like there’s anyone else. Can’t we just enjoy ourselves and see where it goes? You know, if you feel the same way.”

Jared does like Jensen - a lot, as a matter of fact - and he does like doing all those things with Jensen, and he’s especially looking forward to more of the “other stuff.” And Jensen’s right, they don’t need to label things right now. It doesn’t matter if they’re boyfriends or whatever - they know they like each other, and that’s enough. So he nods. “Yeah, I do. Let’s just…see where things go.”

“Okay,” Jensen says, and leans over to kiss Jared again. This time, Jared doesn’t have any trouble kissing back. But Jensen keeps it light, pulling back after a few seconds.

“Just so you know, I didn’t forget what you said that night in the woods,” he says.

Jared has no idea what he’s talking about. When he says so, Jensen makes a face. “About how you haven’t - that you’re - you know.”

Jared still doesn’t know, but when Jensen says, “During initiation,” it suddenly gets a lot clearer. And mortifying. “Oh, God. That was you?” He must have done something seriously bad in another life to get karma like that. Hurting kittens or making old ladies across the street by themselves or something.

“You were pretty drunk,” Jensen admits. “But it seemed genuine.”

“Oh, it was real, all right,” Jared mutters, covering his face with his hands. “And just as embarrassing now. Awesome.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Jensen says. “I just want you to know that it’s fine if you want to go slow. I’m not trying to rush you or anything.”

Jared’s still hung up on the part where he confessed his virginity to Jensen at the top of his lungs while drunk. And that means Jensen was well aware last week, during the guitar lessons.

Jensen sighs. “Jared. This conversation will be a lot more useful if you look at me.” He pries Jared’s hands from his face and holds them to prevent a relapse. “It’s not a big deal. Just tell me, all right? No matter what everyone else says, corrupting minors is not really a favorite pastime of mine.”

“I’m not a minor,” Jared points out. “I’m almost nineteen. And I don’t want to go slow.”

“Okay, but if you do - “

Jared sighs. “Look, I promise to tell you if there’s something I don’t want to do, all right? But in case you haven’t noticed, you kind of drive me crazy.”

Jensen raises his eyebrows.

“Seriously,” Jared says. “I’ve never jerked off as much in my life as I have this past week. I’ve spent more time in the shower than all the girls combined. It’d be pretty awesome if we could do something again before I use up the entire county’s supply of water.”

For whatever reason, that seems to convince Jensen. “Well, we don’t want that,” he says, laughing, before leaning down on one elbow and brushing his nose along Jared’s neck.

Jared shivers a little. “Definitely not,” he says, a bit breathless.

“Mm.” Jensen licks a stripe upward and bites gently on Jared’s ear. “And for the record?” he says, when Jared groans, “You drive me crazy, too.”

He sits up, but when Jared’s hands come out to keep him close, he leans down to kiss him before saying, “Relax. I got you.” He smirks. “And maybe this time we’ll even manage to get some clothes off.”

*     *     *

They do, and when they’re lying on the blanket again, sweaty and sated, Jared’s glad they didn’t go slow. Because blowjobs, as it turns out, are amazing. Jared knew that - Chad was dazed and starry-eyed for days after his first blowjob, and it wasn’t even that great (Jared’s heard the details so often that he feels like he was there, too) - and since Jensen isn’t a sixteen-year-old girl with braces, he knew it was bound to be awesome. He didn’t know just how awesome, though. The whole experience is pretty fucking fabulous. And then he gets Jensen off, and with Jensen facing him this time, not behind him, Jared gets to watch him come apart by degrees, which is also pretty fantastic.

They stay there a long time, watching the stars come out, and it’s only when the breeze turns chilly that they pack up and head home.

By the time they get back to camp, everyone else has already gone to bed. Jensen parks his truck in the dirt that serves as a parking lot and they walk back to the cabins in comfortable silence, following the path in the faint light from the moon. Jensen’s cabin comes up first, so they stop outside for goodnights.

Jared figures he should probably say something, thank you or you’re amazing or let’s do that again as soon as possible, but Jensen leans back against the wall next to the screen door, pulling Jared against him, and anything Jared was thinking of saying gets lost in ten minutes of slow, lazy kisses.

When Jensen has to pull away to yawn, he laughs and pushes himself upright. “Should probably get to bed.”

“Yeah,” Jared says. He should probably get back to his cabin before Chad comes looking for him. Not that Chad’s the type to wait up anxiously (he’s more likely to be sound asleep and snoring) but you never know. Sometimes he busts out the protective instincts at the weirdest times. Jared turns away to go, but he stops after a few steps. He can’t leave without saying something. He opens his mouth to ask something - what they’re doing, what they are to each other, what’s going to happen next - but what comes out is, “Are we…good?”

Jensen turns from the open screen door and blinks for a second before grinning. “Jared,” he says, leaning against the doorframe, “We’re a hell of a lot better than good.” And before Jared can reply, he says, “See you at breakfast tomorrow. Save me a seat?” At Jared’s nod, he disappears inside.

It’s not what Jared really wanted to ask, or the answer he expected, but he still finds himself smiling as he walks down the dark path to his own cabin.

*     *     *

Part Four