Say You're Mine (J2, NC-17) 7/7
He doesn’t forget what she said, though. Throughout the rest of the day, as he’s stuffing suitcases into cars and running up and down flights of stairs for forgotten items and calling Mike and Jensen fifteen times to make sure they’re really up and awake and on their way, he’s turning it over in his head.
Because, he realizes as they’re driving out of the city, that was the thing that was off about everything with him and Michael. It was easy. They didn’t ever have to work at it - a chance meeting led to a date, which led to a relationship, and everything slid into place so perfectly that they never had to put any effort into it. It just happened. And it was good, but it wasn’t great.
It wasn’t love-you-so-much-I-don’t-know-what-to-do. It was never can’t-breathe-without-you. It was never going to be going-to-go-crazy-if-I-can’t-kiss-you-in-the-next-two-seconds. It made sense logically - they got along, they had a good time together, they had common interests - but it was never that soul-deep gut feeling that the entire world could be a better place if only that other person was standing next to you.
Which it was, with Jensen. It was crazy and complicated and hurt like hell, but Jared always had that feeling, that it could have been the best thing he’d ever known if they’d just made it work. And that’s when he realizes that he can’t just leave it like this. He has to know.
He’s still kicking himself over what he could have done differently or said earlier or made better, and he just wants to know instead of wondering all the time.
There won’t be any chance to do anything about it during the day, not as they’re rushing between rooms and getting ready and posing for a million pictures and handling the inevitable last-minute crises, but he files it away in the back of his mind. All he has to do is wait for his opportune moment.
*
“Psst. Jensen.”
He’s been sitting on a bench trying to grab a few seconds of the sleep he missed on their early morning roadtrip, but his eyes open when he hears his name.
Allie’s down the hall, leaning out of a room, grinning at him. When he raises his eyebrows, she makes a drinking motion.
“You need some booze already?” Jensen asks. “Isn’t it a little early?”
She rolls her eyes. “I was hoping for some water, actually.”
“Water water? Or - ?”
“Real, honest-to-god water,” Allie assures him. “I’m not pre-partying at my own wedding, thanks.”
Jensen shrugs. “You never know. I don’t judge.” He walks down the hall to the water cooler and grabs her a paper cup.
“Thanks,” she says when he comes back. She’s leaning up against the door to one of the bridal changing rooms, where she’s been sequestered away with her female relatives all morning, doing whatever stuff girls do to get ready.
She’s finally in her dress, which Jensen hasn’t seen, and he has to admit that she looks amazing.
“Thank you,” she says again, grinning. “I hope Adrianne thinks so, too.”
“I’m sure she will.”
“So,” Allie says, leaning her head back against the doorframe and looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “Before I’m part of an old married couple, can I give you one last piece of happy-engaged-person advice?”
Jensen shrugs. “Sure. Lay it on me.”
He’s expecting some wisdom about finding Mr. Right (or possibly a caution against Tom, which is sweet but unnecessary - Jensen didn’t even really like the guy, even while they were sort of dating), but Allie just looks at him for a long minute and says, “Don’t let Jared go.”
“What?”
“If you want him, don’t let him go. If you don’t, fine.” She shrugs. “But if you love him and you want to be with him? Don’t let anything stop you.”
Jensen wants to say something about all the thought he’s put into his decisions - all the late nights, all the times he was angry at himself for not figuring things out sooner and being with Jared when he had the chance, all the hurt and misunderstandings and mess that he just wanted to be done with - but somehow, none of that comes out of his mouth. Instead, he says, “It’s not that easy.”
“Okay, no,” she admits. “You can’t just walk up to him and say you want to be with him and live happily ever after. But if the alternative is never having him? I think the first option’s a lot easier.”
“But it could all go wrong again,” Jensen protests. “I mean, look what happened. Everything between us has gotten fucked up over and over again. We just keep hurting each other.”
“That’s love,” Allie says simply. “When you hand someone your heart, you’re taking the risk that they might stomp all over it. But if you don’t take that risk, you could be missing out on something amazing.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says. “But is that risk worth it?”
Allie just smiles. “I think you have to figure that one out on your own.”
*
The ceremony is almost perfect, a small group of family and friends standing out on the lawn just as the sun was starting to go down, and there isn’t a dry eye to be found when Allie and Adrianne finish their vows and exchange rings. The reception dinner is lively and loud, and when the crowd starts to spread out a little after the meal, spilling out onto the inn’s wide lawns, the party keeps going strong. Adrianne and Allie must be exhausted, what with driving and photos and dancing and mingling with the guests, but they finally look relaxed in a way that Jared hasn’t seen in weeks. Even now that the sun is dropping below the horizon and they’ve been on their feet for hours, they have a kind of calm, happy glow as they dance under the lanterns with Allie’s little cousins.
Jensen’s standing at the edge of the yard when Jared finds him, leaning his elbows on the railing of the tiny gazebo as he stares up through the trees. He’s heart-stoppingly handsome in his tux, sharp lines bringing out his striking looks even more than usual, and as Jared steps up into the gazebo behind him, seeing Jensen’s profile outlined against the darkening sky as he turns, he’s struck again by the feeling that the universe is only going to align like this once, and if he doesn’t do everything he possibly can, it’s the same as giving up. He’ll never get to have this. It’s now or never.
And in the back of his mind, Jared always thought it’d come down to a big gesture - something grand and dramatic, because that’s the kind of person he is - but in the end, he settles for walking up next to Jensen and leaning his hip against the rail. It’s quiet and unassuming, but when Jensen smiles and says, “Hey,” it just seems right.
“Hey,” Jared replies.
They’re silent for a long moment, both just looking - Jensen out at the brightening stars, Jared at Jensen - before Jensen says, “Some wedding, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. “They look so happy.”
“They’re perfect for each other,” Jensen says, smiling a little. “I’m really glad I met you guys, you know. I went from having no friends in the city to having four of the most amazing friends I’ve ever met.”
Jared blinks, surprised. “Amazing? Really?”
“Well, all right,” Jensen concedes. “Mike is really more aggravating than amazing. But he has his moments.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Jared leans back on his hands. “And you’re pretty amazing yourself. I think we all got pretty lucky.”
Jensen slants him a smile, sweet and just the slightest bit shy, and before Jared can even think about it, he’s saying, “Hey, is it all right if I -?”
It comes out at the exact same time that Jensen says, “Jared, I’ve been thinking, and - “
They both pause, then start again in tandem. Finally, Jensen shakes his head. “You go first.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” Jensen grins. “You’re dying to say something. I can tell.”
And for no reason, everything Jared feels pushes up to the surface at that moment, overwhelming in its intensity. “Okay,” he says. “I don’t know if you want to hear this, and I don’t know if I should even be saying it.”
“Jared,” Jensen says patiently, “It’s me. You can say anything to me.”
And that just makes it even more true. “I know we said we’d wait until after the wedding to talk, but I can’t. It’s just - I’m so in love with you,” Jared says, all in a rush. “I don’t know how not to be. No matter who I am or what I do, I’m just…yours.” He lets out a slow breath. “I just wanted you to know that.”
Jensen’s eyes are wide in the semi-darkness, but he hasn’t looked away.
“And that’s all I can do,” Jared goes on, feeling a little reckless. “Everything I could possibly do, I did. I’m here, I told you how I feel, I put everything out there. This is all I can do.”
“I know,” Jensen says softly.
“And I just - please,” Jared says, surprising himself. “Please, Jensen, can you just tell me if there’s even a chance that this could happen?”
He didn’t mean to ask for that - didn’t mean to ask for anything, really - but once it’s out there he realizes that he needs the answer. Once and for all, better or worse, he needs to know.
Jensen’s quiet for a long minute, just watching Jared. Jared’s almost sure he’s not going to answer, that he’s just going to turn and walk away, but then Jensen laughs a little. “Tom broke up with me,” he says, apropos of nothing.
“What?”
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s so stupid, because he’s like the most self-absorbed person I’ve ever met, and I seriously had no idea he was even aware of half of what was going on around him, but. Apparently even he could tell that every second I was with him, I was thinking about someone else.” He looks down at his hands, clasped together on the railing. “So, yeah. You’re an idiot if you don’t know that I - how I - “ He sighs. “That I’m yours, too. Have been for a long time.”
Jared’s not sure what to do with the rush of pure joy that engulfs him from head to toe. “You are?”
But Jensen’s shaking his head. “But that’s - I don’t know if it’s enough, Jared,” he says.
That’s maybe the stupidest thing Jared’s ever heard. “You love me. How can that not be enough?”
There’s a frown line pushing Jensen’s brows together when he looks up at Jared. “Because the whole time I’ve known you, you’ve been looking for the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with. And that’s not me. I’m not perfect. I’m not all those specific things you wanted in a guy.”
Okay, no, Jared has to revise his opinion - that’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. “How can you - “
“I’m not - I don’t fit all your standards,” Jensen goes on. “I mess things up and I hurt people - I hurt you - and I overthink everything. I can never just - “
“Jensen,” Jared interrupts, reaching out to stop him the only way he can think of, setting a finger against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen blinks, looking a little taken aback, and Jared lets his hand slide so he can brush his thumb along the edge of Jensen’s jaw. “How can you possibly think that you’re not what I want?” he asks, rubbing smooth-shaven skin.
Jensen opens his mouth to say something, probably another iteration of his imperfection or a listing of his bad habits or something, but Jared stops his mouth with his finger again. He doesn’t need to hear it. And in that moment, something suddenly strikes him. It seems like lifetimes ago that he was so surprised to hear Adrianne say that everyone settles, but now, for the first time, he really understands what she meant. It’s not that you settle for less than what you want. It’s that you realize that what you want, even if it’s not perfect, is amazing and that you’re lucky to have it - so lucky that you wouldn’t take perfect no matter what it looks like.
“You’re right,” Jared says. “You’re not perfect.”
Jensen’s eyes widen, like he’s just as surprised as Jared.
“But I don’t care,” Jared finishes.
“Jared,” Jensen says, the word muffled against his finger.
“No,” Jared says. “You’re right, I was looking for someone perfect. And it was stupid. There is no perfect person out there for everyone. There’s just someone who gets all your jokes and laughs even when they’re not funny. There’s someone who gets your lame movie quotes and puts up with your incessant rambling about reality TV.”
Jensen smiles faintly. “You do have an unhealthy obsession with America’s Next Top Model.”
Jared laughs. “I know. Jensen, you might not be perfect, but neither am I. And I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”
Jensen bites his lip, barely a centimeter away from Jared’s finger. “You’re sure?”
“God, yes,” Jared says fervently. “Any way I can have you.”
Jensen’s lips quirk up. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, so kiss me already,” Jensen says impatiently.
And there’s no way Jared’s going to disobey that order, not when it’s what he’s wanted for oh, just about forever. He grins, using the hand on Jensen’s face to tip his chin up, and leans in to press their mouths together.
It’s soft at first, gentle like their other kisses haven’t been. It seems strange that it would be any different from kissing Jensen before, but it is. They’re both a little hesitant, trying to get this right, slowly tasting the champagne toasts in each others’ mouths. It’s only when Jared lets his teeth graze Jensen’s bottom lip that it changes; Jensen makes a quick little noise, sharp and hot, and it sets off a flash of heat through Jared’s body. Before he can even think about it he’s got a hand on Jensen’s hip, pushing him up against the railing, and the two of them are kissing hungrily, licking into each other’s mouths like they’ve been apart for years.
It’s only the sounds of someone’s voice coming surprisingly near the gazebo that breaks them apart. Once they realize that it’s just Adrianne’s aunt, a little tipsy and wandering the wrong way, they relax, but when they turn back to each other, Jared’s nerves are back.
“Um,” he says, smoothing a hand down Jensen’s lapels. “Do you want to maybe go up to my room?”
Jensen catches his hand, squeezing it in his own. “Thought you’d never ask.”
*
They don’t stop to say goodnight to anybody. They’ll see the brides and the rest of the wedding party tomorrow, and neither of them knows Allie or Adrianne’s family well enough to have anything special to say. Besides, after how many times they’ve started this and had to stop, Jared thinks it’s safe to say he’s desperate to finally see it through.
Jensen laughs as Jared drags him across the lawn by the hand. “Hey, slow down!” he says, hopping on one foot after he trips on a rock.
“You hurry up!” Jared calls back.
“I’m trying! If you didn’t have such damned long legs, I’d be able to - “
“Shh,” Jared hushes him when they get to the doors. “People are sleeping.”
Jensen shushes him right back, but he gets inventive and uses his mouth instead of his voice. Jared finds he really approves of this kind of innovation, especially when Jensen seems to forget why he started kissing Jared in the first place and just keeps on, until they’re making out against the wall in the lobby of the tiny inn.
But they really should get upstairs. That’s the only reason Jared gives Jensen a gentle push back, because kissing while going up stairs (while also ridiculously tall, as Allie says) is a recipe for disaster, and Jared does not need any disasters getting in the way of his getting laid with Jensen Ackles.
God, even just the thought has him harder than he’s ever been in his life. He can’t believe he’s finally going to do this with Jensen.
Jensen seems to be thinking the same thing, because when they manage to get to the second floor and Jared’s unlocking his door, he whispers, “So, we’re really doing this? Not stopping as soon as we get half-naked?”
“If you stop, I’m going to kill you,” Jared growls, yanking Jensen through the door.
“All right, all right,” Jensen says, laughing. “Third time’s the charm, I guess.”
*
It really is.
As soon as they’re through the door, Jensen leans back against it and pulls Jared flush up against him. Jared’s hand skate down his sides to pull him even closer, and Jensen decides it’s a good thing the door’s there to hold him up, because between the kissing and the groping and the crazy way this serious relationship thing seems to be happening all of a sudden, his knees are a little less than stable.
It’s just - this is not what he’s used to. Not the emotional part of it - which feels kind of scary and inevitable at the same time - and not the physical part of it, either. Because Tom is beautiful, but it’s in a distant, detached kind of way. He has flawless cheekbones and perfectly-sculpted biceps and a lush mouth. But, despite the time they spent together, that’s all he is to Jensen - the sum of his parts. They never connected any other way.
Jared, on the other hand, is gorgeous in a way that’s completely present - all of him is in everything he does, completely unrestrained, and Jensen finds the way his giant hands hesitant for a second before gripping his hips tightly just as much of a turn-on as the feel of his (just as perfectly-sculpted) body pressed up against him. It’s not because Jared is physically beautiful, even though he is - it’s because he’s everything else, too.
And then Jared slides a thigh between Jensen’s, pressing up just right as he sucks kisses along Jensen’s neck and noses at his collar, and Jensen decides that they’d better move this thing along, or they’re never going to make it further than the door.
He pushes his hands up under Jared’s jacket, wrestling it off broad shoulders, then yanks the dress shirt out of his pants. Jared tries to help, pulling off the bowtie and cummerbund, but his fingers fumble on the buttons of his shirt, and Jensen bats them away as he walks
Jared backward, undoing them himself.
“First time wearing a grown-up shirt?” he teases, mostly to take his mind off all the smooth, tanned skin he’s exposing and how he wants to lick every inch of it.
Jared laughs. “Kinda nervous here, okay?”
It takes a second for that to sink in, since Jared’s now shirtless and the play of muscles under the skin when Jensen’s fingers brush low on his stomach is extremely distracting. But when his brain catches up, he says, “What? Why?” Neither of them exactly had a problem with nerves the other times they’ve tried this, so he doesn’t know why now it’s different.
Jared flushes slightly, but shrugs. “’Cause it’s you,” he says simply.
He says it like Jensen might leave or change his mind about the whole relationship thing if the sex part isn’t perfect.
For a second, Jensen feels a surge of that old discomfort - Jared’s gaze is open and hiding nothing about how he feels, and Jensen suddenly feels too exposed and vulnerable in the face of that steady look. But then he remembers that this is Jared - his friend, who’s seen him at his best and worst and nearly everything in between, and the thought settles the tension building in his stomach.
“It’s us,” he corrects. “And it’s gonna be good.”
He pushes Jared back until his knees hit the seat of the chair by the bed. Jared drops down with a surprised noise, and Jensen follows, working off Jared’s shoes and socks. It’s only when he lifts his head and Jared sucks in a breath that he realizes that he’s crouched between Jared’s spread knees, and the way Jared’s slouched in the chair puts his crotch just inches away from Jensen’s face.
And since Jensen’s right there and knows a good idea when he sees one, he reaches up and smoothes his hands down Jared’s thighs, pushing them further apart and moving closer. Jared makes a choked noise above him, but Jensen doesn’t unzip him right away, just kisses him low on his belly, moving steadily southward until he runs out of skin. He lets his face slide down to nuzzle against Jared’s cock, taking in the heat and scent as Jared groans above him. The fabric of his dress pants is smooth and soft, not much of a barrier, and Jensen turns his head to mouth the shape of him through the silky material.
“Jensen. Jen,” Jared says, reaching down to cup his face. His fingers stroke over Jensen’s ears and neck, one thumb brushing along his eyebrow, and Jensen closes his eyes as he makes quick work of Jared’s fly. It almost doesn’t seem real that he’s here, doing this with Jared - despite every stupid obstacle and fight, they’re finally here. Together.
“Jen?” Jared asks, after his hands still for a second.
“Yeah,” Jensen says, opening his eyes. The fabric parts and falls open, and Jensen tugs it down enough to get to what he wants. Jared has a gorgeous cock - he remembers that well enough from before - and he can’t resist swiping a drop of precome off with his tongue.
“Oh, god,” Jared says, watching raptly as Jensen guides his dick to his mouth, rubbing it over his lips for a few teasing seconds before he opens his mouth and gets down to business.
It’s intoxicating, being on his knees like this - he learns the taste and weight of Jared, hears the noises he makes when something’s good or unexpected, and watches sweat spring up on his chest in the dim light of the bedside lamp.
But before he can settle into it, Jared gasps and says, “Jen, Jesus Christ,” and his hands are urging instead of encouraging, tugging Jensen up. Jensen lets Jared’s cock slip out of his mouth, leaving a damp streak across his cheek.
“Jesus,” Jared says again, sounding dazed. “Gonna be over too soon, and I don’t want to - not like that. Can we - ?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, getting to his feet and pulling Jared up.
“You’re wearing way too many clothes,” Jared says, yanking down boxers and pants.
“I didn’t have someone to help me out of mine,” Jensen retorts.
“Guess you’re on your own,” Jared says with a grin.
“You want to be left on your own?” Jensen shoots back.
“No,” Jared says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “What I want is for you to get naked. I already said that.”
“And what are you going to do?”
“Watch,” Jared says. And he does - he lays back on the bed, one arm propping up his head, and follows Jensen’s fingers with hungry eyes as they unbutton his shirt. At first Jensen’s not so sure about this - Jared just staring at him, like he’s on display - but Jared starts stroking himself lightly and saying things like, “God, Jensen, so hot,” and Jensen realizes he’s not looking at him like he wants to devour him. Well, he is, but it’s more than that - he’s looking at Jensen like he wants to see all of him, everything he is.
Before he can even think about, Jensen’s slowing his pace and putting on a little bit of a show, reaching down to cup himself through his pants, breath stuttering at how good it feels.
Jared lets him get away with it for a minute, but then he gets impatient, sitting up and reaching out to drag Jensen closer by his waistband. “Get over here,” he commands, stripping Jensen out of his boxers and pants in one swift move. Jensen’s tangled pants legs catch him off-balance and he stumbles, falling onto the bed on top of Jared.
Which, normally, would be a good thing. But apparently Adrianne and Allie picked the authentic type of bed and breakfast, and the bed’s just as much an antique as the rest of the place, because it lets out a huge, protesting groan at their weight. They both freeze, anticipating disaster, but it stays in one piece.
After a moment, Jared shifts cautiously. When the bedframe only emits an annoyed squeak, he laughs. “Wouldn’t that be the perfect ending to the night? ‘Sorry, we broke the bed.’”
“Don’t even joke,” Jensen groans. “That’d be just our luck. We finally get naked together and past our million issues and then we’re thwarted by a crappy old bed.”
“No way,” Jared says, twisting under him until their cocks are aligned and rocking up. “We’re doing this, even if we have to do it on the floor as the whole inn comes running to see what the commotion is. We’re not stopping again.”
“Exhibitionist kink?” Jensen asks.
“You kink,” Jared corrects him, kissing his neck. “Need to have you, no matter what.”
“You’ve got me,” Jensen says, gasping as Jared’s teeth scrape the sensitive skin over his pulse. “However and wherever you want.”
Jared’s hand leaves his hip, sweeping up over his back and down, stopping just above his ass before a finger dips down to brush between his asscheeks. “Can I - ?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Jensen says without thinking, arching back into the touch. “God, yeah. Do you have - “
“Yeah,” Jared says, fumbling a hand out for the nightstand.
Jensen tries to help, having a better range of motion, but Jared knocks his hand away.
“We’ve seen how well that works,” he says dryly. When he’s got the lube out, he pops the cap and coats his fingers before using the hand on Jensen’s ass to urge him up until he’s straddling Jared. He gets his other hand on the back of Jensen’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss as he slides a finger inside, and he keeps up the double assault as he works in two more fingers, crooking them just right as he fucks his tongue into Jensen’s mouth. By the time he’s satisfied, Jensen’s thighs are shaking from both the strain of the position and the constant sparks of pleasure.
“C’mon, Jared, now,” he says, pushing up. “Want you to - “
“Yeah, yeah,” Jared says softly, helping him up and off. “How do you want to - “
“Like this,” Jensen says, settling on his knees and elbows.
“Jesus,” he hears Jared say from behind him, and then he’s moving close, pressing kisses down Jensen’s spine along with the sound of the condom wrapper tearing. Then there are hands skating along Jensen’s sides as Jared lines up behind him and slowly pushes in.
It hurts as first, and when Jared’s all the way in there’s that odd moment where Jensen’s body can’t quite figure out if the too-full feeling is good or bad. But then Jared shudders, slipping in just a little deeper, and the way he takes a short, sharp breath and says Jensen’s name, rough and awed, finally tips the scales over to good.
And then Jared starts slow, dragging thrusts in and out that feel even better, and Jensen’s so caught up in the sensations - feeling every
inch that Jared’s feeding him, listening to his shuddery breaths and curses mixed with moans, pushing back into the steady pressure of hands at his hips
It’s almost a surprise when he realizes how close he is. He must manage to stutter something, because Jared pauses and pulls back. Before Jensen can figure out what the hell’s going on, Jared pulls out and flips them around, and then he’s on his back, Jared pressing his knees to his chest as he slides in on one long stroke, and okay, yeah. It’s pretty much all over after that.
Jared says something about wanting to see, and he barely gets a hand on Jensen’s dick before he’s coming hard enough to see stars. The bed gives an almighty groan, and Jared echoes it as he follows.
Jensen’s a little concerned that they may have done the bed irreparable structural damage, but that has to wait until he has a few brain cells to rub together. Right now, he’s just happy that it’s still holding the two of them up, and that they’re in it together.
From the contented groan Jared manages, collapsed on top of him, Jensen thinks he agrees.
*
When Jensen wakes up the next morning, there’s someone huge and warm plastered to his back. He grins and goes back to sleep.
When they really wake up, maybe an hour later, the sun is high enough in the sky for light to spill through the space at the top of the
curtains. Jensen shifts onto his back, stretching. He’s got a couple interesting new aches, but they feel good, a pleasant reminder of what happened last night. He looks over to see if Jared’s awake, and finds him watching Jensen through the hair falling over his face.
“Hey,” he says, voice still gravelly.
“Hi,” Jared says, smiling a little.
“Sleep good?”
“No,” Jared says. “Some guy kept me up all night begging for sex.”
“What kind of jerk would do that? You poor thing.”
“It was very hard,” Jared says solemnly.
Jensen can’t help it - he snorts. “Next time I’ll just let you sleep, then. Won’t bother you with all that annoying sex stuff.”
He moves to sit up, he barely makes it an inch before Jared’s rolling over on top of him, pinning him to the bed and holding his wrists above his head. When Jensen looks up at him, a little breathless, Jared grins. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”
And then he’s ducking his head and they’re kissing, and yeah, Jensen can see this heading the exact same place they went last night.
Except Jared pulls back just when things are getting interesting. And not to do something useful like get them fully naked or push the comforter out of the way - he stops just to look at Jensen.
Jensen shifts a little, slightly uncomfortable with the way Jared’s looking down at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jared says. “Just - I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”
Jensen half-wants to make a sarcastic comment, oh, you’d better believe it or you’ll believe it when I’m done with you, but Jared’s looking at him like Christmas and ten of his birthdays have come early, and he finds himself saying, “Yeah, me either.”
Jared lets his wrists go and moves, shifting his weight to the side. “So, um. How exactly does this fit with that thing you have against serious relationships?”
Jensen really wants to know what happened to the almost-morning-sex that was just about to happen, but he can’t really blame Jared for wanting to know.
“I, uh, may have misjudged them slightly,” Jensen says. “Not the part where they can get messy and complicated, because they obviously can. But,” Jensen says, pulling Jared close to him, “if you're lucky, you find someone that's worth it.”
Jared raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
Jensen nods. “And sometimes you find someone that’s so perfect that it’s not even about it being worth it. It’s just that there’s no way you can live with the alternative.”
“No one’s perfect,” Jared reminds him, but he’s grinning and leaning down to kiss Jensen, so he can’t bring himself to mind.
*
After the second round, when they’re sweaty and sticky and exhausted and spread out across the entire bed, Jared decides that staying in bed with Jensen all day was too low a goal to set. He’s thinking it’s going to have to be more like for life. If he has to handcuff Jensen to the bed, well, that’s just an added bonus.
Fate has other plans, however. They’re barely getting their breathing under control when the phone on the bedside table rings.
Jared groans, rolling over to grab it. “What?”
“What?” a female voice parrots back at him. “It’s nearly ten and you’re still in bed, that’s what. Get your ass up to our room so we can have some breakfast.”
“Allie,” Jared says. “Hey. Um, breakfast? Right now?”
“Yes, now,” Allie says, the eye-rolling audible in her voice. “It’s morning, Jared. That’s when you generally break the fast.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jared says, doing a little eye-rolling of his own. “It’s just - I’m a little busy right now.”
“Busy?” Allie repeats. “Busy with what?”
“Well, um, I’m kind of. Uh.” Jared fumbles for a polite way of saying “I’m in the middle of trading orgasms with another groomsman.” Luckily, Jensen solves that problem for him. Apparently bored listening to Jared’s side of the conversation, he leans over and starts sucking kisses along Jared’s neck. Jared tilts his head a little to give him room, and Jensen takes that inch and turns it into a fucking mile, continuing his path down Jared’s chest to his stomach. And there are a lot of things Jared can easily multitask, but talking to someone else while Jensen’s mouth is moving south at a steady pace? Is definitely not one of them.
“Oh, jesusfuck,” he says, hips arching up as Jensen licks across a hipbone.
“What?” Allie asks sharply. “Jared, are you - “
Jensen’s grinning up at him, planting kisses on Jared’s stomach and thighs and basically everywhere except where he really wants that mouth.
“Allie,” Jared says quickly, “I really have to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“No, we’re having breakfast!” Allie protests. “Jared, listen to me! I’m ordering one of everything off the room service menu, and if you don’t get up here soon, we’re going to eat it all ourselves. Come on,” she cajoles. “It’s our first morning as a married couple, and we want to spend it with our friends.”
Jensen picks that exact moment to meet Jared’s gaze and say, low and dark, “Wanted to do this ever since I saw you,” and okay, Jared really needs to hang up the phone now.
“God, okay,” Jared groans, not sure exactly who he’s talking to.
“You’ll come?” Allie asks hopefully.
“Yes,” Jared gasps. “Yeah, definitely.” The way Jensen’s currently teasing him with flicks of his tongue is definitely going to ensure that.
“And Jensen too?” Allie persists. “I called his room, but - “
“Yes,” Jared says firmly, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head when Jensen trails his tongue lower. “I promise, I’ll make Jensen come. Can I please go now?”
“Okay,” Allie says happily. “See you soon.”
Jared thinks he doesn’t so much hang up the phone as slam it blindly back into the stand. Jensen laughs. “You had to promise Allie you’d make me come?”
“To breakfast,” Jared clarifies, reaching down and running a hand through his hair. “But I’m willing to do the other one, too.”
“Good,” Jensen says, grinning. “Because when I’m done with you, breakfast is going to be the last thing on your mind.”
And then, without another word, he lowers his head and takes Jared into his mouth, and Jared’s last coherent thought is that he couldn’t care less about breakfast when he’s got this.
*
It’s a testament to Jensen’s skill that Jared actually does forget breakfast, because he’s usually thinking about food in at least some tiny little corner of his mind at all times. When Jensen finishes with him, though, Jared doesn’t have enough brain cells functioning to think about more than how awesome that was. He’s pretty sure his brain was wiped of all thoughts not related to Jensen.
Fortunately, Jensen’s functioning a little better, and remembers to get them up and into lightning-fast showers and their clothes. They have to split up so that Jensen can get his own clothes, but their rooms are only a few doors apart, so it’s not a big deal. It’s also not extremely obvious what they were just up to when they show up at Allie and Adrianne’s door together, which is good. They never came to any concrete consensus on who or when they’re telling about this, but given that this is still part of Allie and Adrianne’s wedding celebration, it seems only right to keep the focus on the newlyweds.
Adrianne’s still sprawled out on the giant bed when they get to the honeymoon suite, but Allie, Mike, and Genevieve are at the table, seated around a truly impressive number of food-laden plates. Jared remembers with force why food’s always on his mind when the aroma of freshly-fried breakfast foods hits his nose, and he leaves Jensen behind to make a beeline for the table.
Jensen laughs, but stops to kiss Adrianne on the cheek and give Allie a hug before he joins Jared.
“You’re lucky you get here when you did,” Allie tells Jared. “We were about two seconds away from eating all of this ourselves.”
“Please,” Jared says. “Like you could even come close. This amount of food requires a way bigger appetite.” He looks her up and down. “And, no offense, a way bigger person.”
Allie sticks her tongue out at Jared, stealing a piece of bacon off his plate. When he grabs for it, she slips out of his reach, laughing, and grabs a bunch of grapes, throwing one at him.
“Hey, no wasting food!” Jared protests, diving for a loose grape and popping it in his mouth.
“I agree,” Adrianne says. “If you’re don’t want it, come over here and give me some.”
“What’s the magic word?”
“Get over here and feed me, bitch.”
“That’s several words, actually,” Jensen points out around a mouthful of toast.
Allie sighs. “Barely one day in and you’re already treating me like your slave.”
“You married me,” Adrianne says, unrepentant. “Now get over here and feed your poor old wife.”
Allie rolls her eyes. “Coming, sweetheart.” She climbs on the bed and sticks an orange slice into Adrianne’s mouth, giggling when Adrianne does the open-mouthed smile.
“You two are disgusting,” Mike mutters, sticking a fork into his giant pile of scrambled eggs.
“I think it’s cute,” Genevieve says, elbowing him.
“It’s gross.” When Genevieve glares, Mike clears his throat. “Uh. In a cute way.”
“You’re just jealous,” Adrianne says. “You want someone you can say sickeningly sappy things to. Isn’t that right, honeybunches?”
“Right, sweetie pie,” Allie replies.
Mike says something in reply, but Jared totally misses it. Because he’s been pretty engrossed in eating his giant stack of pancakes slathered in syrup and strawberries, but when he feels a light pressure on his thigh, he finally remembers that there are other things in life besides delicious, perfectly-golden pancakes. The touch turns into a gentle squeeze, and Jared looks up from his plate to find Jensen giving him a little smile as he sips at his orange juice.
That’s all it is, just a little hi and a reminder that things are different, but the grin that spreads across Jared’s face is so wide that it hurts. He ducks his head, trying to keep it hidden as he turns back to his pancakes.
He must not do a very good job, though, because all of a sudden the playful bickering between Allie and Adrianne and Mike stops, and Allie observes, “Jared, you’ve been kind of weirdly quiet.”
“And suspiciously cheerful,” Adrianne adds. “What’s going on?”
“Wait a minute,” Genevieve says. “Does this have to do with last night? I was looking for you at the reception, but you ran off before it was over.”
“Ooh,” Allie says, eyebrows going up. “Did our sweet little Jared find a friend?”
“Dude, awesome!” Mike says, reaching across the table for a high five. “Can’t believe you did it without my help, even if getting laid at a wedding is easy as pie, but still. Fucking finally!”
Mike probably helped more than he knows, but Jared isn’t about to tell him that. Mike’s ego doesn’t need the help.
“Who was it?” Adrianne demands.
“Yeah, don’t keep us in suspense,” Allie says, bouncing on the bed. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
And this is where it would have been a really good idea to figure out beforehand when or if he and Jensen going to tell people what happened. Jared falters for a second, not sure what to say or how much to lie, but before he can even think up some kind of plausible denial, he feels that pressure on his thigh again.
Only this time it’s not just a quick squeeze - this time, Jensen’s hand moves to cover his own, and he twines their fingers together under the table. When he darts a look over, Jensen’s looking away, not making it obvious, and Jared realizes this is an offer - Jensen’s giving him the choice to put it out there or keep it quiet.
And since Jared’s been waiting for what seems like forever to have Jensen like this, he doesn’t hesitate. He takes their clasped hands and lifts them, setting them on the table.
Everyone’s eyes immediately go down to their hands, and it’s only a second before Allie and Adrianne are squealing in unison.
“Does this mean -? “
“Are you two - ?“
“Yeah,” Jensen says, sending Jared a smile. “Yeah, we’re going to try.”
The girls practically melt. Even Genevieve says, “Okay, that’s adorable,” and Mike’s usual disagreement is conspicuously absent.
“Wow,” Allie says after a second. “So, basically, everyone got lucky last night except for Mike.”
Mike groans. “Don’t rub it in.”
“What happened, anyway?” Adrianne asks, when Genevieve’s distracted with her cell phone. “I thought you were going to use all your best moves on her. Show her resistance is futile.”
“I tried,” Mike says morosely. “The woman’s unbreakable. She’s totally immune to all of my moves.” He sighs. “I guess she’s really just not interested.”
“Actually,” Genevieve says, looking up from her phone, “I think you’re missing the point.”
“Point?” Mike asks blankly.
“Yeah,” she says, spearing a piece of pineapple with her fork. “You wanted to sleep with me the first time we met. But if we had, you wouldn’t be interested in me now.” She raises an eyebrow. “Did you ever think of that?
Mike blinks. “Do you…want me to be interested in you?”
She doesn’t reply, just sends him a little smirk before going back to her fruit, but from the dumbfounded expression on Mike’s face, Jared thinks the impossible might have actually happened - Mike may have met his match.
But before he can do more than exchange amused glances with Allie and Adrianne, Jensen picks up his glass of orange juice. “I think this moment deserves a toast.”
At first Jared thinks he means the way Genevieve just threw Mike for a total loop, but when Jensen raises his glass and says, “To Allie and Adrianne,” he gets it.
“To friends,” Allie says, after they drink.
“To family,” Adrianne puts in.
“To new beginnings,” Genevieve adds.
“To happy endings,” Jared says.
Mike looks around for a second, like he’s kind of grossed out by the level of sappiness currently invading the room, then sighs and raises his glass. “To all of us.”
They drink, and as Jared looks around the room, he realizes just how thankful he is for all of those things. For his friends, who are his family, for the new start he has with Jensen, for a happy ending to his failed quest for the perfect man - for all of it. Mike makes a gagging noise when Jared leans over to kiss Jensen, but he doesn’t care. He’s got everything he needs in this one room.
And that, he thinks, is perfect.
Notes: Thanks to wendy and audrarose for running an awesome challenge, setissma for looking this over, and fallen_for_lost for making awesome artwork! Don't forget to check out her post here!
Because, he realizes as they’re driving out of the city, that was the thing that was off about everything with him and Michael. It was easy. They didn’t ever have to work at it - a chance meeting led to a date, which led to a relationship, and everything slid into place so perfectly that they never had to put any effort into it. It just happened. And it was good, but it wasn’t great.
It wasn’t love-you-so-much-I-don’t-know-what-to-do. It was never can’t-breathe-without-you. It was never going to be going-to-go-crazy-if-I-can’t-kiss-you-in-the-next-two-seconds. It made sense logically - they got along, they had a good time together, they had common interests - but it was never that soul-deep gut feeling that the entire world could be a better place if only that other person was standing next to you.
Which it was, with Jensen. It was crazy and complicated and hurt like hell, but Jared always had that feeling, that it could have been the best thing he’d ever known if they’d just made it work. And that’s when he realizes that he can’t just leave it like this. He has to know.
He’s still kicking himself over what he could have done differently or said earlier or made better, and he just wants to know instead of wondering all the time.
There won’t be any chance to do anything about it during the day, not as they’re rushing between rooms and getting ready and posing for a million pictures and handling the inevitable last-minute crises, but he files it away in the back of his mind. All he has to do is wait for his opportune moment.
*
“Psst. Jensen.”
He’s been sitting on a bench trying to grab a few seconds of the sleep he missed on their early morning roadtrip, but his eyes open when he hears his name.
Allie’s down the hall, leaning out of a room, grinning at him. When he raises his eyebrows, she makes a drinking motion.
“You need some booze already?” Jensen asks. “Isn’t it a little early?”
She rolls her eyes. “I was hoping for some water, actually.”
“Water water? Or - ?”
“Real, honest-to-god water,” Allie assures him. “I’m not pre-partying at my own wedding, thanks.”
Jensen shrugs. “You never know. I don’t judge.” He walks down the hall to the water cooler and grabs her a paper cup.
“Thanks,” she says when he comes back. She’s leaning up against the door to one of the bridal changing rooms, where she’s been sequestered away with her female relatives all morning, doing whatever stuff girls do to get ready.
She’s finally in her dress, which Jensen hasn’t seen, and he has to admit that she looks amazing.
“Thank you,” she says again, grinning. “I hope Adrianne thinks so, too.”
“I’m sure she will.”
“So,” Allie says, leaning her head back against the doorframe and looking at him out of the corner of her eye. “Before I’m part of an old married couple, can I give you one last piece of happy-engaged-person advice?”
Jensen shrugs. “Sure. Lay it on me.”
He’s expecting some wisdom about finding Mr. Right (or possibly a caution against Tom, which is sweet but unnecessary - Jensen didn’t even really like the guy, even while they were sort of dating), but Allie just looks at him for a long minute and says, “Don’t let Jared go.”
“What?”
“If you want him, don’t let him go. If you don’t, fine.” She shrugs. “But if you love him and you want to be with him? Don’t let anything stop you.”
Jensen wants to say something about all the thought he’s put into his decisions - all the late nights, all the times he was angry at himself for not figuring things out sooner and being with Jared when he had the chance, all the hurt and misunderstandings and mess that he just wanted to be done with - but somehow, none of that comes out of his mouth. Instead, he says, “It’s not that easy.”
“Okay, no,” she admits. “You can’t just walk up to him and say you want to be with him and live happily ever after. But if the alternative is never having him? I think the first option’s a lot easier.”
“But it could all go wrong again,” Jensen protests. “I mean, look what happened. Everything between us has gotten fucked up over and over again. We just keep hurting each other.”
“That’s love,” Allie says simply. “When you hand someone your heart, you’re taking the risk that they might stomp all over it. But if you don’t take that risk, you could be missing out on something amazing.”
“Yeah,” Jensen says. “But is that risk worth it?”
Allie just smiles. “I think you have to figure that one out on your own.”
*
The ceremony is almost perfect, a small group of family and friends standing out on the lawn just as the sun was starting to go down, and there isn’t a dry eye to be found when Allie and Adrianne finish their vows and exchange rings. The reception dinner is lively and loud, and when the crowd starts to spread out a little after the meal, spilling out onto the inn’s wide lawns, the party keeps going strong. Adrianne and Allie must be exhausted, what with driving and photos and dancing and mingling with the guests, but they finally look relaxed in a way that Jared hasn’t seen in weeks. Even now that the sun is dropping below the horizon and they’ve been on their feet for hours, they have a kind of calm, happy glow as they dance under the lanterns with Allie’s little cousins.
Jensen’s standing at the edge of the yard when Jared finds him, leaning his elbows on the railing of the tiny gazebo as he stares up through the trees. He’s heart-stoppingly handsome in his tux, sharp lines bringing out his striking looks even more than usual, and as Jared steps up into the gazebo behind him, seeing Jensen’s profile outlined against the darkening sky as he turns, he’s struck again by the feeling that the universe is only going to align like this once, and if he doesn’t do everything he possibly can, it’s the same as giving up. He’ll never get to have this. It’s now or never.
And in the back of his mind, Jared always thought it’d come down to a big gesture - something grand and dramatic, because that’s the kind of person he is - but in the end, he settles for walking up next to Jensen and leaning his hip against the rail. It’s quiet and unassuming, but when Jensen smiles and says, “Hey,” it just seems right.
“Hey,” Jared replies.
They’re silent for a long moment, both just looking - Jensen out at the brightening stars, Jared at Jensen - before Jensen says, “Some wedding, huh?”
“Yeah,” Jared says. “They look so happy.”
“They’re perfect for each other,” Jensen says, smiling a little. “I’m really glad I met you guys, you know. I went from having no friends in the city to having four of the most amazing friends I’ve ever met.”
Jared blinks, surprised. “Amazing? Really?”
“Well, all right,” Jensen concedes. “Mike is really more aggravating than amazing. But he has his moments.”
“Can’t argue with that.” Jared leans back on his hands. “And you’re pretty amazing yourself. I think we all got pretty lucky.”
Jensen slants him a smile, sweet and just the slightest bit shy, and before Jared can even think about it, he’s saying, “Hey, is it all right if I -?”
It comes out at the exact same time that Jensen says, “Jared, I’ve been thinking, and - “
They both pause, then start again in tandem. Finally, Jensen shakes his head. “You go first.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” Jensen grins. “You’re dying to say something. I can tell.”
And for no reason, everything Jared feels pushes up to the surface at that moment, overwhelming in its intensity. “Okay,” he says. “I don’t know if you want to hear this, and I don’t know if I should even be saying it.”
“Jared,” Jensen says patiently, “It’s me. You can say anything to me.”
And that just makes it even more true. “I know we said we’d wait until after the wedding to talk, but I can’t. It’s just - I’m so in love with you,” Jared says, all in a rush. “I don’t know how not to be. No matter who I am or what I do, I’m just…yours.” He lets out a slow breath. “I just wanted you to know that.”
Jensen’s eyes are wide in the semi-darkness, but he hasn’t looked away.
“And that’s all I can do,” Jared goes on, feeling a little reckless. “Everything I could possibly do, I did. I’m here, I told you how I feel, I put everything out there. This is all I can do.”
“I know,” Jensen says softly.
“And I just - please,” Jared says, surprising himself. “Please, Jensen, can you just tell me if there’s even a chance that this could happen?”
He didn’t mean to ask for that - didn’t mean to ask for anything, really - but once it’s out there he realizes that he needs the answer. Once and for all, better or worse, he needs to know.
Jensen’s quiet for a long minute, just watching Jared. Jared’s almost sure he’s not going to answer, that he’s just going to turn and walk away, but then Jensen laughs a little. “Tom broke up with me,” he says, apropos of nothing.
“What?”
“Yeah,” he says. “It’s so stupid, because he’s like the most self-absorbed person I’ve ever met, and I seriously had no idea he was even aware of half of what was going on around him, but. Apparently even he could tell that every second I was with him, I was thinking about someone else.” He looks down at his hands, clasped together on the railing. “So, yeah. You’re an idiot if you don’t know that I - how I - “ He sighs. “That I’m yours, too. Have been for a long time.”
Jared’s not sure what to do with the rush of pure joy that engulfs him from head to toe. “You are?”
But Jensen’s shaking his head. “But that’s - I don’t know if it’s enough, Jared,” he says.
That’s maybe the stupidest thing Jared’s ever heard. “You love me. How can that not be enough?”
There’s a frown line pushing Jensen’s brows together when he looks up at Jared. “Because the whole time I’ve known you, you’ve been looking for the perfect person to spend the rest of your life with. And that’s not me. I’m not perfect. I’m not all those specific things you wanted in a guy.”
Okay, no, Jared has to revise his opinion - that’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. “How can you - “
“I’m not - I don’t fit all your standards,” Jensen goes on. “I mess things up and I hurt people - I hurt you - and I overthink everything. I can never just - “
“Jensen,” Jared interrupts, reaching out to stop him the only way he can think of, setting a finger against Jensen’s lips.
Jensen blinks, looking a little taken aback, and Jared lets his hand slide so he can brush his thumb along the edge of Jensen’s jaw. “How can you possibly think that you’re not what I want?” he asks, rubbing smooth-shaven skin.
Jensen opens his mouth to say something, probably another iteration of his imperfection or a listing of his bad habits or something, but Jared stops his mouth with his finger again. He doesn’t need to hear it. And in that moment, something suddenly strikes him. It seems like lifetimes ago that he was so surprised to hear Adrianne say that everyone settles, but now, for the first time, he really understands what she meant. It’s not that you settle for less than what you want. It’s that you realize that what you want, even if it’s not perfect, is amazing and that you’re lucky to have it - so lucky that you wouldn’t take perfect no matter what it looks like.
“You’re right,” Jared says. “You’re not perfect.”
Jensen’s eyes widen, like he’s just as surprised as Jared.
“But I don’t care,” Jared finishes.
“Jared,” Jensen says, the word muffled against his finger.
“No,” Jared says. “You’re right, I was looking for someone perfect. And it was stupid. There is no perfect person out there for everyone. There’s just someone who gets all your jokes and laughs even when they’re not funny. There’s someone who gets your lame movie quotes and puts up with your incessant rambling about reality TV.”
Jensen smiles faintly. “You do have an unhealthy obsession with America’s Next Top Model.”
Jared laughs. “I know. Jensen, you might not be perfect, but neither am I. And I don’t want perfect. I just want you.”
Jensen bites his lip, barely a centimeter away from Jared’s finger. “You’re sure?”
“God, yes,” Jared says fervently. “Any way I can have you.”
Jensen’s lips quirk up. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay, so kiss me already,” Jensen says impatiently.
And there’s no way Jared’s going to disobey that order, not when it’s what he’s wanted for oh, just about forever. He grins, using the hand on Jensen’s face to tip his chin up, and leans in to press their mouths together.
It’s soft at first, gentle like their other kisses haven’t been. It seems strange that it would be any different from kissing Jensen before, but it is. They’re both a little hesitant, trying to get this right, slowly tasting the champagne toasts in each others’ mouths. It’s only when Jared lets his teeth graze Jensen’s bottom lip that it changes; Jensen makes a quick little noise, sharp and hot, and it sets off a flash of heat through Jared’s body. Before he can even think about it he’s got a hand on Jensen’s hip, pushing him up against the railing, and the two of them are kissing hungrily, licking into each other’s mouths like they’ve been apart for years.
It’s only the sounds of someone’s voice coming surprisingly near the gazebo that breaks them apart. Once they realize that it’s just Adrianne’s aunt, a little tipsy and wandering the wrong way, they relax, but when they turn back to each other, Jared’s nerves are back.
“Um,” he says, smoothing a hand down Jensen’s lapels. “Do you want to maybe go up to my room?”
Jensen catches his hand, squeezing it in his own. “Thought you’d never ask.”
*
They don’t stop to say goodnight to anybody. They’ll see the brides and the rest of the wedding party tomorrow, and neither of them knows Allie or Adrianne’s family well enough to have anything special to say. Besides, after how many times they’ve started this and had to stop, Jared thinks it’s safe to say he’s desperate to finally see it through.
Jensen laughs as Jared drags him across the lawn by the hand. “Hey, slow down!” he says, hopping on one foot after he trips on a rock.
“You hurry up!” Jared calls back.
“I’m trying! If you didn’t have such damned long legs, I’d be able to - “
“Shh,” Jared hushes him when they get to the doors. “People are sleeping.”
Jensen shushes him right back, but he gets inventive and uses his mouth instead of his voice. Jared finds he really approves of this kind of innovation, especially when Jensen seems to forget why he started kissing Jared in the first place and just keeps on, until they’re making out against the wall in the lobby of the tiny inn.
But they really should get upstairs. That’s the only reason Jared gives Jensen a gentle push back, because kissing while going up stairs (while also ridiculously tall, as Allie says) is a recipe for disaster, and Jared does not need any disasters getting in the way of his getting laid with Jensen Ackles.
God, even just the thought has him harder than he’s ever been in his life. He can’t believe he’s finally going to do this with Jensen.
Jensen seems to be thinking the same thing, because when they manage to get to the second floor and Jared’s unlocking his door, he whispers, “So, we’re really doing this? Not stopping as soon as we get half-naked?”
“If you stop, I’m going to kill you,” Jared growls, yanking Jensen through the door.
“All right, all right,” Jensen says, laughing. “Third time’s the charm, I guess.”
*
It really is.
As soon as they’re through the door, Jensen leans back against it and pulls Jared flush up against him. Jared’s hand skate down his sides to pull him even closer, and Jensen decides it’s a good thing the door’s there to hold him up, because between the kissing and the groping and the crazy way this serious relationship thing seems to be happening all of a sudden, his knees are a little less than stable.
It’s just - this is not what he’s used to. Not the emotional part of it - which feels kind of scary and inevitable at the same time - and not the physical part of it, either. Because Tom is beautiful, but it’s in a distant, detached kind of way. He has flawless cheekbones and perfectly-sculpted biceps and a lush mouth. But, despite the time they spent together, that’s all he is to Jensen - the sum of his parts. They never connected any other way.
Jared, on the other hand, is gorgeous in a way that’s completely present - all of him is in everything he does, completely unrestrained, and Jensen finds the way his giant hands hesitant for a second before gripping his hips tightly just as much of a turn-on as the feel of his (just as perfectly-sculpted) body pressed up against him. It’s not because Jared is physically beautiful, even though he is - it’s because he’s everything else, too.
And then Jared slides a thigh between Jensen’s, pressing up just right as he sucks kisses along Jensen’s neck and noses at his collar, and Jensen decides that they’d better move this thing along, or they’re never going to make it further than the door.
He pushes his hands up under Jared’s jacket, wrestling it off broad shoulders, then yanks the dress shirt out of his pants. Jared tries to help, pulling off the bowtie and cummerbund, but his fingers fumble on the buttons of his shirt, and Jensen bats them away as he walks
Jared backward, undoing them himself.
“First time wearing a grown-up shirt?” he teases, mostly to take his mind off all the smooth, tanned skin he’s exposing and how he wants to lick every inch of it.
Jared laughs. “Kinda nervous here, okay?”
It takes a second for that to sink in, since Jared’s now shirtless and the play of muscles under the skin when Jensen’s fingers brush low on his stomach is extremely distracting. But when his brain catches up, he says, “What? Why?” Neither of them exactly had a problem with nerves the other times they’ve tried this, so he doesn’t know why now it’s different.
Jared flushes slightly, but shrugs. “’Cause it’s you,” he says simply.
He says it like Jensen might leave or change his mind about the whole relationship thing if the sex part isn’t perfect.
For a second, Jensen feels a surge of that old discomfort - Jared’s gaze is open and hiding nothing about how he feels, and Jensen suddenly feels too exposed and vulnerable in the face of that steady look. But then he remembers that this is Jared - his friend, who’s seen him at his best and worst and nearly everything in between, and the thought settles the tension building in his stomach.
“It’s us,” he corrects. “And it’s gonna be good.”
He pushes Jared back until his knees hit the seat of the chair by the bed. Jared drops down with a surprised noise, and Jensen follows, working off Jared’s shoes and socks. It’s only when he lifts his head and Jared sucks in a breath that he realizes that he’s crouched between Jared’s spread knees, and the way Jared’s slouched in the chair puts his crotch just inches away from Jensen’s face.
And since Jensen’s right there and knows a good idea when he sees one, he reaches up and smoothes his hands down Jared’s thighs, pushing them further apart and moving closer. Jared makes a choked noise above him, but Jensen doesn’t unzip him right away, just kisses him low on his belly, moving steadily southward until he runs out of skin. He lets his face slide down to nuzzle against Jared’s cock, taking in the heat and scent as Jared groans above him. The fabric of his dress pants is smooth and soft, not much of a barrier, and Jensen turns his head to mouth the shape of him through the silky material.
“Jensen. Jen,” Jared says, reaching down to cup his face. His fingers stroke over Jensen’s ears and neck, one thumb brushing along his eyebrow, and Jensen closes his eyes as he makes quick work of Jared’s fly. It almost doesn’t seem real that he’s here, doing this with Jared - despite every stupid obstacle and fight, they’re finally here. Together.
“Jen?” Jared asks, after his hands still for a second.
“Yeah,” Jensen says, opening his eyes. The fabric parts and falls open, and Jensen tugs it down enough to get to what he wants. Jared has a gorgeous cock - he remembers that well enough from before - and he can’t resist swiping a drop of precome off with his tongue.
“Oh, god,” Jared says, watching raptly as Jensen guides his dick to his mouth, rubbing it over his lips for a few teasing seconds before he opens his mouth and gets down to business.
It’s intoxicating, being on his knees like this - he learns the taste and weight of Jared, hears the noises he makes when something’s good or unexpected, and watches sweat spring up on his chest in the dim light of the bedside lamp.
But before he can settle into it, Jared gasps and says, “Jen, Jesus Christ,” and his hands are urging instead of encouraging, tugging Jensen up. Jensen lets Jared’s cock slip out of his mouth, leaving a damp streak across his cheek.
“Jesus,” Jared says again, sounding dazed. “Gonna be over too soon, and I don’t want to - not like that. Can we - ?”
“Yeah,” Jensen says, getting to his feet and pulling Jared up.
“You’re wearing way too many clothes,” Jared says, yanking down boxers and pants.
“I didn’t have someone to help me out of mine,” Jensen retorts.
“Guess you’re on your own,” Jared says with a grin.
“You want to be left on your own?” Jensen shoots back.
“No,” Jared says, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “What I want is for you to get naked. I already said that.”
“And what are you going to do?”
“Watch,” Jared says. And he does - he lays back on the bed, one arm propping up his head, and follows Jensen’s fingers with hungry eyes as they unbutton his shirt. At first Jensen’s not so sure about this - Jared just staring at him, like he’s on display - but Jared starts stroking himself lightly and saying things like, “God, Jensen, so hot,” and Jensen realizes he’s not looking at him like he wants to devour him. Well, he is, but it’s more than that - he’s looking at Jensen like he wants to see all of him, everything he is.
Before he can even think about, Jensen’s slowing his pace and putting on a little bit of a show, reaching down to cup himself through his pants, breath stuttering at how good it feels.
Jared lets him get away with it for a minute, but then he gets impatient, sitting up and reaching out to drag Jensen closer by his waistband. “Get over here,” he commands, stripping Jensen out of his boxers and pants in one swift move. Jensen’s tangled pants legs catch him off-balance and he stumbles, falling onto the bed on top of Jared.
Which, normally, would be a good thing. But apparently Adrianne and Allie picked the authentic type of bed and breakfast, and the bed’s just as much an antique as the rest of the place, because it lets out a huge, protesting groan at their weight. They both freeze, anticipating disaster, but it stays in one piece.
After a moment, Jared shifts cautiously. When the bedframe only emits an annoyed squeak, he laughs. “Wouldn’t that be the perfect ending to the night? ‘Sorry, we broke the bed.’”
“Don’t even joke,” Jensen groans. “That’d be just our luck. We finally get naked together and past our million issues and then we’re thwarted by a crappy old bed.”
“No way,” Jared says, twisting under him until their cocks are aligned and rocking up. “We’re doing this, even if we have to do it on the floor as the whole inn comes running to see what the commotion is. We’re not stopping again.”
“Exhibitionist kink?” Jensen asks.
“You kink,” Jared corrects him, kissing his neck. “Need to have you, no matter what.”
“You’ve got me,” Jensen says, gasping as Jared’s teeth scrape the sensitive skin over his pulse. “However and wherever you want.”
Jared’s hand leaves his hip, sweeping up over his back and down, stopping just above his ass before a finger dips down to brush between his asscheeks. “Can I - ?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Jensen says without thinking, arching back into the touch. “God, yeah. Do you have - “
“Yeah,” Jared says, fumbling a hand out for the nightstand.
Jensen tries to help, having a better range of motion, but Jared knocks his hand away.
“We’ve seen how well that works,” he says dryly. When he’s got the lube out, he pops the cap and coats his fingers before using the hand on Jensen’s ass to urge him up until he’s straddling Jared. He gets his other hand on the back of Jensen’s neck, pulling him down into a kiss as he slides a finger inside, and he keeps up the double assault as he works in two more fingers, crooking them just right as he fucks his tongue into Jensen’s mouth. By the time he’s satisfied, Jensen’s thighs are shaking from both the strain of the position and the constant sparks of pleasure.
“C’mon, Jared, now,” he says, pushing up. “Want you to - “
“Yeah, yeah,” Jared says softly, helping him up and off. “How do you want to - “
“Like this,” Jensen says, settling on his knees and elbows.
“Jesus,” he hears Jared say from behind him, and then he’s moving close, pressing kisses down Jensen’s spine along with the sound of the condom wrapper tearing. Then there are hands skating along Jensen’s sides as Jared lines up behind him and slowly pushes in.
It hurts as first, and when Jared’s all the way in there’s that odd moment where Jensen’s body can’t quite figure out if the too-full feeling is good or bad. But then Jared shudders, slipping in just a little deeper, and the way he takes a short, sharp breath and says Jensen’s name, rough and awed, finally tips the scales over to good.
And then Jared starts slow, dragging thrusts in and out that feel even better, and Jensen’s so caught up in the sensations - feeling every
inch that Jared’s feeding him, listening to his shuddery breaths and curses mixed with moans, pushing back into the steady pressure of hands at his hips
It’s almost a surprise when he realizes how close he is. He must manage to stutter something, because Jared pauses and pulls back. Before Jensen can figure out what the hell’s going on, Jared pulls out and flips them around, and then he’s on his back, Jared pressing his knees to his chest as he slides in on one long stroke, and okay, yeah. It’s pretty much all over after that.
Jared says something about wanting to see, and he barely gets a hand on Jensen’s dick before he’s coming hard enough to see stars. The bed gives an almighty groan, and Jared echoes it as he follows.
Jensen’s a little concerned that they may have done the bed irreparable structural damage, but that has to wait until he has a few brain cells to rub together. Right now, he’s just happy that it’s still holding the two of them up, and that they’re in it together.
From the contented groan Jared manages, collapsed on top of him, Jensen thinks he agrees.
*
When Jensen wakes up the next morning, there’s someone huge and warm plastered to his back. He grins and goes back to sleep.
When they really wake up, maybe an hour later, the sun is high enough in the sky for light to spill through the space at the top of the
curtains. Jensen shifts onto his back, stretching. He’s got a couple interesting new aches, but they feel good, a pleasant reminder of what happened last night. He looks over to see if Jared’s awake, and finds him watching Jensen through the hair falling over his face.
“Hey,” he says, voice still gravelly.
“Hi,” Jared says, smiling a little.
“Sleep good?”
“No,” Jared says. “Some guy kept me up all night begging for sex.”
“What kind of jerk would do that? You poor thing.”
“It was very hard,” Jared says solemnly.
Jensen can’t help it - he snorts. “Next time I’ll just let you sleep, then. Won’t bother you with all that annoying sex stuff.”
He moves to sit up, he barely makes it an inch before Jared’s rolling over on top of him, pinning him to the bed and holding his wrists above his head. When Jensen looks up at him, a little breathless, Jared grins. “Don’t you dare even think about it.”
And then he’s ducking his head and they’re kissing, and yeah, Jensen can see this heading the exact same place they went last night.
Except Jared pulls back just when things are getting interesting. And not to do something useful like get them fully naked or push the comforter out of the way - he stops just to look at Jensen.
Jensen shifts a little, slightly uncomfortable with the way Jared’s looking down at him. “What?”
“Nothing,” Jared says. “Just - I can’t believe we’re really doing this.”
Jensen half-wants to make a sarcastic comment, oh, you’d better believe it or you’ll believe it when I’m done with you, but Jared’s looking at him like Christmas and ten of his birthdays have come early, and he finds himself saying, “Yeah, me either.”
Jared lets his wrists go and moves, shifting his weight to the side. “So, um. How exactly does this fit with that thing you have against serious relationships?”
Jensen really wants to know what happened to the almost-morning-sex that was just about to happen, but he can’t really blame Jared for wanting to know.
“I, uh, may have misjudged them slightly,” Jensen says. “Not the part where they can get messy and complicated, because they obviously can. But,” Jensen says, pulling Jared close to him, “if you're lucky, you find someone that's worth it.”
Jared raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
Jensen nods. “And sometimes you find someone that’s so perfect that it’s not even about it being worth it. It’s just that there’s no way you can live with the alternative.”
“No one’s perfect,” Jared reminds him, but he’s grinning and leaning down to kiss Jensen, so he can’t bring himself to mind.
*
After the second round, when they’re sweaty and sticky and exhausted and spread out across the entire bed, Jared decides that staying in bed with Jensen all day was too low a goal to set. He’s thinking it’s going to have to be more like for life. If he has to handcuff Jensen to the bed, well, that’s just an added bonus.
Fate has other plans, however. They’re barely getting their breathing under control when the phone on the bedside table rings.
Jared groans, rolling over to grab it. “What?”
“What?” a female voice parrots back at him. “It’s nearly ten and you’re still in bed, that’s what. Get your ass up to our room so we can have some breakfast.”
“Allie,” Jared says. “Hey. Um, breakfast? Right now?”
“Yes, now,” Allie says, the eye-rolling audible in her voice. “It’s morning, Jared. That’s when you generally break the fast.”
“Yeah, I know,” Jared says, doing a little eye-rolling of his own. “It’s just - I’m a little busy right now.”
“Busy?” Allie repeats. “Busy with what?”
“Well, um, I’m kind of. Uh.” Jared fumbles for a polite way of saying “I’m in the middle of trading orgasms with another groomsman.” Luckily, Jensen solves that problem for him. Apparently bored listening to Jared’s side of the conversation, he leans over and starts sucking kisses along Jared’s neck. Jared tilts his head a little to give him room, and Jensen takes that inch and turns it into a fucking mile, continuing his path down Jared’s chest to his stomach. And there are a lot of things Jared can easily multitask, but talking to someone else while Jensen’s mouth is moving south at a steady pace? Is definitely not one of them.
“Oh, jesusfuck,” he says, hips arching up as Jensen licks across a hipbone.
“What?” Allie asks sharply. “Jared, are you - “
Jensen’s grinning up at him, planting kisses on Jared’s stomach and thighs and basically everywhere except where he really wants that mouth.
“Allie,” Jared says quickly, “I really have to go. I’ll see you later, okay?”
“No, we’re having breakfast!” Allie protests. “Jared, listen to me! I’m ordering one of everything off the room service menu, and if you don’t get up here soon, we’re going to eat it all ourselves. Come on,” she cajoles. “It’s our first morning as a married couple, and we want to spend it with our friends.”
Jensen picks that exact moment to meet Jared’s gaze and say, low and dark, “Wanted to do this ever since I saw you,” and okay, Jared really needs to hang up the phone now.
“God, okay,” Jared groans, not sure exactly who he’s talking to.
“You’ll come?” Allie asks hopefully.
“Yes,” Jared gasps. “Yeah, definitely.” The way Jensen’s currently teasing him with flicks of his tongue is definitely going to ensure that.
“And Jensen too?” Allie persists. “I called his room, but - “
“Yes,” Jared says firmly, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head when Jensen trails his tongue lower. “I promise, I’ll make Jensen come. Can I please go now?”
“Okay,” Allie says happily. “See you soon.”
Jared thinks he doesn’t so much hang up the phone as slam it blindly back into the stand. Jensen laughs. “You had to promise Allie you’d make me come?”
“To breakfast,” Jared clarifies, reaching down and running a hand through his hair. “But I’m willing to do the other one, too.”
“Good,” Jensen says, grinning. “Because when I’m done with you, breakfast is going to be the last thing on your mind.”
And then, without another word, he lowers his head and takes Jared into his mouth, and Jared’s last coherent thought is that he couldn’t care less about breakfast when he’s got this.
*
It’s a testament to Jensen’s skill that Jared actually does forget breakfast, because he’s usually thinking about food in at least some tiny little corner of his mind at all times. When Jensen finishes with him, though, Jared doesn’t have enough brain cells functioning to think about more than how awesome that was. He’s pretty sure his brain was wiped of all thoughts not related to Jensen.
Fortunately, Jensen’s functioning a little better, and remembers to get them up and into lightning-fast showers and their clothes. They have to split up so that Jensen can get his own clothes, but their rooms are only a few doors apart, so it’s not a big deal. It’s also not extremely obvious what they were just up to when they show up at Allie and Adrianne’s door together, which is good. They never came to any concrete consensus on who or when they’re telling about this, but given that this is still part of Allie and Adrianne’s wedding celebration, it seems only right to keep the focus on the newlyweds.
Adrianne’s still sprawled out on the giant bed when they get to the honeymoon suite, but Allie, Mike, and Genevieve are at the table, seated around a truly impressive number of food-laden plates. Jared remembers with force why food’s always on his mind when the aroma of freshly-fried breakfast foods hits his nose, and he leaves Jensen behind to make a beeline for the table.
Jensen laughs, but stops to kiss Adrianne on the cheek and give Allie a hug before he joins Jared.
“You’re lucky you get here when you did,” Allie tells Jared. “We were about two seconds away from eating all of this ourselves.”
“Please,” Jared says. “Like you could even come close. This amount of food requires a way bigger appetite.” He looks her up and down. “And, no offense, a way bigger person.”
Allie sticks her tongue out at Jared, stealing a piece of bacon off his plate. When he grabs for it, she slips out of his reach, laughing, and grabs a bunch of grapes, throwing one at him.
“Hey, no wasting food!” Jared protests, diving for a loose grape and popping it in his mouth.
“I agree,” Adrianne says. “If you’re don’t want it, come over here and give me some.”
“What’s the magic word?”
“Get over here and feed me, bitch.”
“That’s several words, actually,” Jensen points out around a mouthful of toast.
Allie sighs. “Barely one day in and you’re already treating me like your slave.”
“You married me,” Adrianne says, unrepentant. “Now get over here and feed your poor old wife.”
Allie rolls her eyes. “Coming, sweetheart.” She climbs on the bed and sticks an orange slice into Adrianne’s mouth, giggling when Adrianne does the open-mouthed smile.
“You two are disgusting,” Mike mutters, sticking a fork into his giant pile of scrambled eggs.
“I think it’s cute,” Genevieve says, elbowing him.
“It’s gross.” When Genevieve glares, Mike clears his throat. “Uh. In a cute way.”
“You’re just jealous,” Adrianne says. “You want someone you can say sickeningly sappy things to. Isn’t that right, honeybunches?”
“Right, sweetie pie,” Allie replies.
Mike says something in reply, but Jared totally misses it. Because he’s been pretty engrossed in eating his giant stack of pancakes slathered in syrup and strawberries, but when he feels a light pressure on his thigh, he finally remembers that there are other things in life besides delicious, perfectly-golden pancakes. The touch turns into a gentle squeeze, and Jared looks up from his plate to find Jensen giving him a little smile as he sips at his orange juice.
That’s all it is, just a little hi and a reminder that things are different, but the grin that spreads across Jared’s face is so wide that it hurts. He ducks his head, trying to keep it hidden as he turns back to his pancakes.
He must not do a very good job, though, because all of a sudden the playful bickering between Allie and Adrianne and Mike stops, and Allie observes, “Jared, you’ve been kind of weirdly quiet.”
“And suspiciously cheerful,” Adrianne adds. “What’s going on?”
“Wait a minute,” Genevieve says. “Does this have to do with last night? I was looking for you at the reception, but you ran off before it was over.”
“Ooh,” Allie says, eyebrows going up. “Did our sweet little Jared find a friend?”
“Dude, awesome!” Mike says, reaching across the table for a high five. “Can’t believe you did it without my help, even if getting laid at a wedding is easy as pie, but still. Fucking finally!”
Mike probably helped more than he knows, but Jared isn’t about to tell him that. Mike’s ego doesn’t need the help.
“Who was it?” Adrianne demands.
“Yeah, don’t keep us in suspense,” Allie says, bouncing on the bed. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
And this is where it would have been a really good idea to figure out beforehand when or if he and Jensen going to tell people what happened. Jared falters for a second, not sure what to say or how much to lie, but before he can even think up some kind of plausible denial, he feels that pressure on his thigh again.
Only this time it’s not just a quick squeeze - this time, Jensen’s hand moves to cover his own, and he twines their fingers together under the table. When he darts a look over, Jensen’s looking away, not making it obvious, and Jared realizes this is an offer - Jensen’s giving him the choice to put it out there or keep it quiet.
And since Jared’s been waiting for what seems like forever to have Jensen like this, he doesn’t hesitate. He takes their clasped hands and lifts them, setting them on the table.
Everyone’s eyes immediately go down to their hands, and it’s only a second before Allie and Adrianne are squealing in unison.
“Does this mean -? “
“Are you two - ?“
“Yeah,” Jensen says, sending Jared a smile. “Yeah, we’re going to try.”
The girls practically melt. Even Genevieve says, “Okay, that’s adorable,” and Mike’s usual disagreement is conspicuously absent.
“Wow,” Allie says after a second. “So, basically, everyone got lucky last night except for Mike.”
Mike groans. “Don’t rub it in.”
“What happened, anyway?” Adrianne asks, when Genevieve’s distracted with her cell phone. “I thought you were going to use all your best moves on her. Show her resistance is futile.”
“I tried,” Mike says morosely. “The woman’s unbreakable. She’s totally immune to all of my moves.” He sighs. “I guess she’s really just not interested.”
“Actually,” Genevieve says, looking up from her phone, “I think you’re missing the point.”
“Point?” Mike asks blankly.
“Yeah,” she says, spearing a piece of pineapple with her fork. “You wanted to sleep with me the first time we met. But if we had, you wouldn’t be interested in me now.” She raises an eyebrow. “Did you ever think of that?
Mike blinks. “Do you…want me to be interested in you?”
She doesn’t reply, just sends him a little smirk before going back to her fruit, but from the dumbfounded expression on Mike’s face, Jared thinks the impossible might have actually happened - Mike may have met his match.
But before he can do more than exchange amused glances with Allie and Adrianne, Jensen picks up his glass of orange juice. “I think this moment deserves a toast.”
At first Jared thinks he means the way Genevieve just threw Mike for a total loop, but when Jensen raises his glass and says, “To Allie and Adrianne,” he gets it.
“To friends,” Allie says, after they drink.
“To family,” Adrianne puts in.
“To new beginnings,” Genevieve adds.
“To happy endings,” Jared says.
Mike looks around for a second, like he’s kind of grossed out by the level of sappiness currently invading the room, then sighs and raises his glass. “To all of us.”
They drink, and as Jared looks around the room, he realizes just how thankful he is for all of those things. For his friends, who are his family, for the new start he has with Jensen, for a happy ending to his failed quest for the perfect man - for all of it. Mike makes a gagging noise when Jared leans over to kiss Jensen, but he doesn’t care. He’s got everything he needs in this one room.
And that, he thinks, is perfect.
Notes: Thanks to wendy and audrarose for running an awesome challenge, setissma for looking this over, and fallen_for_lost for making awesome artwork! Don't forget to check out her post here!