CWRPS Fic: Business and Pleasure (J2, Adult) 1/5
Title: Business and Pleasure
Author:belyste
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Original Prompt: Gorgeous playboy Carter Matthews’s favorite things are women and money. But the business he’s inherited is broke and his beautiful new employee seems immune to his charm…
Daphne Williams knows Carter’s too rich and too handsome to fall for her. And anyway, she likes her perfectly ordered life the way it is.
But Carter’s decided to prove his reliability - by getting married! Ever-practical Daphne thinks the idea is ridiculous - even more so when she discovers that she’s his chosen bride!
Summary: Jared’s a philandering CEO and Jensen’s his overworked assistant - that is, until Jared decides he needs to improve his image by having a serious relationship and chooses Jensen to be his fake boyfriend. But Jensen’s a little in love with Jared and Jared has ideas of his own, and pretty soon no one is certain what’s fake and what’s real anymore. Featuring dancing, denial, a lot of inappropriate work behavior, and an infamous office holiday party.
Notes: Written for spn_harlequin, and officially the longest fannish thing I’ve ever written. 28,000 words, split into five parts.
(cover art by the fabulous seschat!)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
(and thanks to
too_rational, pdf version is here!)
(podfic by pennyplainknits here!)
Jared Padalecki is not a bad boss. Okay, so he’s not the most organized person in the world, and he needs to be reminded at least three times of an upcoming meeting - once in writing, once verbally, and once with a push in the right direction - and he works erratic hours and has crazy ideas and drinks way too much coffee. And he’s not a very traditional boss, he doesn’t enforce any sort of office rules, and he has no concept of the line between personal and professional - he’s as likely to ask for an opinion on his tie as he is to ask for his phone messages - but he’s also friendly and funny and nice enough that most of the time, Jensen doesn’t mind being his assistant.
Okay, yeah, sometimes it’s annoying when Jared sets up a meeting with Jensen and spends the hour talking about his horoscope or the great new Thai place he found last night or the latest gossip from the mailroom, rather than discussing actual work matters like clients or finances. And it can get sort of awkward when Jared asks Jensen if his cologne is too strong, or if he should buy a flat screen TV for his bedroom, or if he thinks rowing or chin-ups are more effective for building up lats. And there was that one Friday afternoon when Jared discovered YouTube and Jensen was two hours late getting home because Jared insisted on showing him every ridiculous video he could find.
But other than all that, Jared is a good boss. He’s got the kind of charisma that can’t be faked, the earnest interest in other people that draws in clients and endears him to employees, and he has a way of making people feel like all of his attention is completely focused on them when they speak, which goes a long way in persuading someone to give his insane ideas a chance (as Jensen well knows from personal experience). He’s genuinely kind, always willing to grant second chances or time off, and considerate and thoughtful, despite his tendency toward flakiness. The only real fault he has is being impulsive, leaping without even a thought toward looking first, but even that’s a forgivable offense, despite the numerous sticky situations Jensen’s had to smooth over, because it’s part and parcel of Jared’s lovable personality.
It also doesn’t hurt that he’s scorching hot, and that Jensen is half in love with him. Jared inherited extremely good genes along with the company, and besides a healthy dose of charm to balance his good looks, he also has a perfectly toned body that fills out a suit in all the right ways. Not that Jensen ogles him or anything - he’s more professional than that, for god’s sake, and Jared’s ego doesn’t need the added attention - but it’s kind of hard to ignore the way his suit jackets stretch over his broad shoulders, or how nicely his slacks cling to his ass when he bends over his desk. Or the way the buttons of his shirt strain across his chest when he leans back in his chair and links his hands behind his sexy, tousled hair, or the dimples that appear alongside his blinding grin… Okay, so maybe it’s more than just half.
But even if Jensen is a little more than half in love with Jared, he doesn’t let himself even consider the possibility of anything more between them than a working relationship. For one thing, Jensen likes his job - he’s good at it, he enjoys it most of the time, and the pay is good enough to make up for the rest of the time - and he’s not going to jeopardize it for a one night stand.
And that’s the other reason that it won’t ever happen, because one night stands are kind of Jared’s specialty. It’s not malicious on his part - Jared grew up with everything a kid could want and probably shouldn’t have, and his privileged upbringing instilled in him the idea that nothing (and no one) are off-limits, and since very few people turn down a wealthy, handsome CEO of a lucrative business, Jared’s gotten used to seducing every attractive body that crosses his path. He’s kind of like the Paris Hilton of the business world, Jensen has thought more than once, although smarter and a lot less sketchy and without the stupid catchphrases, reality TV shows, and the crappy CD. Jared probably has the STDs and the sex tapes, though, which is sort of reason number three Jensen isn’t going to sleep with him.
Jared’s type also runs more toward the rich and beautiful, and while Jensen doesn’t consider himself unattractive, he’s definitely not membership material for the glamorous crowd that always surrounds Jared at clubs and parties. Jared has never shown any sign of wanting Jensen - he flirts constantly, but it’s uncalculated and careless, just because he can. And okay, there was that one time Jared sort of groped him, but it was at the company holiday party and Jensen was new and Jared was drunk, and the supply closet was dark enough that it could have been anyone Jared was trying to feel up. Anyway, that was three years ago, and there’s been nothing but friendship since, so Jensen is more than happy to let it be.
Which is why Jared’s proposition turns everything upside down.
* * *
Jensen’s stumbling into the office bleary and half-awake on a Monday morning, working on about three hours of spotty sleep thanks to sore muscles (he’s never going on a date with anyone he meets at REI ever again, no matter how cute the guy is - two days of aching from his eyebrows to his toes from a few hours of rock-climbing is not his idea of a good time, thank you very much) and desperately looking forward to a cup of coffee and some time to zone out at his desk when Jared pokes his head out of his office.
“Hey, Jensen! I’m glad you’re here - I’ve got a new project that I could really use your help on. Can I steal some time with you this morning?”
Jared is disgustingly cheerful despite the early hour. Jensen’s so tired and sore that he’s not sure actual words will come out of his mouth if he answers - it might just be a zombie-like moan - so he just nods and waves a hand as he continues on toward his desk.
“Great! I actually - oh, hang on a minute.” The two-tone ring of Jared’s phone echoes out into the hall, and he ducks into his office to grab it.
Jensen drops his stuff in his cubicle, flicking on his computer, then makes a beeline for the coffee machine. The coffee the company supplies is shit, sludgy and bitter, and Jensen usually makes his own at his desk from the gourmet grounds he buys and keeps in a desk drawer, but this morning he needs hot caffeine in less time than his little coffeemaker takes. He dumps several packets of sugar in his mug to make up for the quality, then carries his coffee back to his desk.
Jared comes out of his office just as Jensen sits down, and leans his elbows on the cubicle wall. “Hey. I was just going to tell you that I actually put a meeting on your schedule already, so that we could get started on this thing.”
Jensen types in his password one-handed as he pushes aside a sheaf of printed PowerPoint slides someone left on his desk, along with a post-it note asking for them edited and integrated into a committee presentation by noon. “Okay, sounds good,” he mumbles around a sip of coffee. “I’ll try to get through most of these, and then we can - “
His schedule pops up on the screen, and instead of the blank white lines that used to be his wide-open morning, a bright green box spans 8-12, titled “Important New Project! : )”
“I thought it might take us awhile,” Jared says from above him.
Jensen looks at the two-inch stack of slides next to his computer, then at the 57 new emails in his inbox, the foot-long list of arrangements he needs to make for a committee meeting next week, and the blinking light on his voicemail. Then he looks up at Jared.
Jared just gives him a big smile.
Jensen sighs, picks up his coffee, and follows Jared into his office.
* * *
“Okay, so here’s the thing,” Jared says, leaning across the table toward Jensen. “This isn’t really an official project for the company.”
Jensen raises an eyebrow, but only sips more coffee.
“I mean, it has to do with the success of the company, but it’s not…it’s sort of more about me and my personal life,” Jared says. “But I really need some help, and you’re the only person whose opinion I really trust.” He pulls out the earnest eyes, and Jensen wonders what exactly he’s getting himself into this time.
Jared is always working on some sort of self-improvement project - it seems like every week he comes into work with a new idea on how to change his life completely, varying from Pilates to meditation to wheat germ smoothies, and somehow Jensen’s always sucked into helping, setting up appointments or rearranging Jared’s office furniture for optimum flow of his chi. Well, except for that time he walked in on Jared doing his yoga instructor, because Jared definitely didn’t need help with that. In fact, from what Jensen had seen, Jared seemed to have things very well in hand.
But now is not a very good time to be thinking about that incident, and he realizes that Jared is waiting on an answer. He takes another slug of coffee, reminding himself how badly these not-for-work projects always end, then says yes anyway, because he’s weak and willing to do just about anything to spend more time in the company of Jared’s adorable dimples. “What do you need me to do?”
“Uh, well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” Jared says, ducking his head to rub the back of his neck. “A couple of the board members took me aside at the meeting last week to inform me that they’re not very happy with my performance.”
Jensen frowns. “But the company’s doing great. We’ve got a record number of clients, and our earnings are up this quarter, along with our stock. Why would they be unhappy?”
“They’re fine with how I’m handling the company,” Jared says, then pauses. “Well, they’re not thrilled about how I run things, but as long as the business keeps growing, I don’t think they’ll complain. No, it’s, uh…it’s more about my personal life.”
“Your personal life? Why does that matter?” Jensen gets the feeling he should see the connection between the two, but his sleep-fogged mind and tender muscles stand in the way of rational thought.
“Well, I guess they got wind of a few of my recent…relationships,” Jared says delicately. “And they don’t think my behavior fits with the image the company is trying to project.”
Jensen traces the past few weeks in his memory, trying to recall any particular sexual escapades that might have contributed to this dressing-down. He only comes up with three incidents he was aware of, but considering that one was with the newest mailroom employee, one took place on the table of Conference Room B, and one involved a rival exec, lots of chocolate syrup, and innovative usage of the medicine balls in the company’s gym, Jensen figures the board members are probably right to be worried.
“I see,” he says carefully.
“Right,” Jared says. “They didn’t exactly make any threats, but it was very clearly implied that my behavior needs to change, and soon.” He leans back in his chair and slants a look at Jensen. “Which is where you come in.”
“Me? Can’t you just…be a little more subtle, or something?”
Jared shakes his head. “I have to really show them that I’m making an effort to change. It has to be something serious.”
“So, you’re going to…what?” Jensen asks. “Take a vow of celibacy?” It’s a pretty cheeky thing to say to his boss, but it’s ass o’clock in the morning, his entire body aches, and the small dose of caffeine isn’t making it any clearer why he’s even involved in this whole thing.
Jared just grins. “Close. Monogamy.”
Jensen chokes on a mouthful of coffee. “Excuse me?”
“I’m going to have a monogamous relationship,” Jared repeats with a wide grin. “A serious one, that lasts a long time, so the board members will see just how seriously I take the company.”
Jensen blinks. It’s not the most insane idea Jared’s ever come up with (the interdepartmental dodge ball tournament to “raise company morale” comes to mind) but it’s up there in the top ten, at least. “Um. How exactly are you planning to do that?”
“That’s what I need your help with. I need to find the perfect person to date.” Jared pulls out a legal pad and pen. “We need to make a list of all the most desirable qualities. Then I can go through all the people I know and pick the one that fits the best.”
Jensen slides down a little in his chair, wincing as his muscles protest the shift, and realizes that the four hours Jared allotted for the meeting may not have been an exaggeration.
“I thought of a few things already,” Jared continues, scribbling busily on the notepad. “First off, it needs to be someone respectable - someone classy. And it should probably be someone who likes animals, if they’re going to be spending a lot of time with me.”
Jensen spends a moment hoping someone spiked the coffee this morning, because if they didn’t, then he’s really sitting in his boss’s office composing a want ad for a serious relationship that begins with “Must love dogs.” Jared is looking at him expectantly, though, and there are no oddly-colored animals or spots on the wall that suggest Jensen’s high or hallucinating, so unfortunately he seems to be stuck in reality.
The idea of Jared writing a personals ad brings up a new question, however - who exactly is his SWM boss seeking? “When you say someone,” he asks, “Are you talking about a female someone or a male someone? Because that’s kind of important to know right off the bat.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jared says, blushing a little. “Well, I was thinking more a male someone. I mean, I’m sure the board would prefer it to be a female, for the sake of reputation or whatever, but I’m not going to completely roll over and do everything they say. I’m still running this company, after all, I should get some say in what gender I prefer.”
Jensen hesitates before his next question, but it has to be asked. “Uh, just to make sure - you do know that you can’t just will a long-term relationship into existence, right? I mean, what if you get bored with the guy after a week?”
“I’m fully prepared to pay someone to pretend,” Jared answers immediately. “I don’t really think I’d survive monogamy very long, anyway, so that was kind of my plan all along.”
It’s probably a bad sign that Jensen isn’t even fazed by the admission, but it’s no more absurd than when Jared proposed spreading Casual Fridays out over the week instead, encouraging employees to shed whatever clothing necessary to be “casual” two hours a day, so he just takes a deep breath, pushes aside his aches and pains, and leans forward to do his job. “I think this guy should also be responsible, smart, and have a steady job, to begin with.”
Jared nods and starts writing.
* * *
After an hour, they’ve hammered out a finalized list of qualities to search for, and Jared taps his pen happily against the messy collection of cross-outs and circles on the notepad in front of him. “Awesome. Thanks so much, Jensen, this is going to help a lot.”
Jensen’s not really sure how much help it will be - the first criterion is “classy,” after all, which rules out about three quarters of Jared’s friends alone. Finding someone with the rest of the requirements, much less someone available and willing to date Jared, won’t exactly be easy, even with Jared’s considerable assets.
Speaking of which…Jensen realizes he’s zoned out for a second when Jared leans into his field of vision, a concerned frown scrunching his eyebrows down. “Jensen, are you okay? You look really tired, and you keep wincing when you move.”
“I’m fine,” Jensen says, and attempts to wave a hand casually. The simple movement of fingers lights sparks of pain all up his arm, however, and it ends up being sort of a jerky flop. Jared raises an eyebrow.
“I went rock-climbing this weekend,” Jensen admits. “I thought I might discover a hidden passion for climbing walls, or something. Instead I discovered just how many muscles I could strain in a few hours.”
Jared’s up and out of his chair before Jensen even finishes speaking. “Why didn’t you say something?” he chides, moving behind Jensen’s chair. “Here, lean forward.” He pushes gently against Jensen’s shoulders, ignoring his half-hearted protests. “My masseuse always does this for me; it feels incredible and it’s great for sore muscles.” He begins to knead carefully just below Jensen’s collar, fingers sliding over bone and muscle, thumbs rubbing over ridges and into hollows.
It feels amazing, and even though Jensen’s pretty sure this isn’t appropriate office behavior (if you can’t compliment someone on their tie without it being sexual harassment, it doesn’t seem likely that this kind of touching is up to code) but his willpower is melting right along with his sore back, and instead of saying no, he leans his elbows on the table and lets his head drop down, leaving Jared to it.
Jared slowly works his way down Jensen’s back, alternating wide, rubbing sweeps with the palms of his hands with small circles of pressure. Jensen shivers a little when Jared’s long fingers slide down his sides, slipping under ribs, but Jared just increases the pressure of his thumbs against Jensen’s spine, which feels absolutely heavenly.
Just when Jensen’s thinking that he really should encourage Jared to open his own massage parlor in his spare time (a private one, where Jensen just happens to be the most frequent customer blissfully relaxed under those giant, magic hands), said hands slow on his back, and Jared says, “Hey, Jen,” sounding thoughtful.
“Unh,” Jensen manages.
“You know, all those qualities that we wrote down - don’t they sound kind of familiar?”
“Of course they do,” Jensen mumbles. “We just came up with them, like, five minutes ago.”
“No,” Jared says, laughing as he pulls his hands away. His thumb strokes across the short hairs at the nape of Jensen’s neck as he moves back behind his desk, and Jensen hides a shiver as he sits up. “I mean,” Jared continues, “They all fit someone we both know.”
When Jensen just stares at him blearily, Jared sighs impatiently. “You can’t think of anyone classy, smart, responsible, hardworking, and fond of dogs? I’ll give you a hint - I spend a lot of time with him.”
Jensen’s still lost. “Honestly, I’m just hoping you’re not going to say Chad.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “No, you idiot. You.”
Jensen waits for the continuation of that thought, but nothing comes. “I what?” he prompts.
“You,” Jared repeats. “You’re classy, smart, responsible, hardworking, and fond of dogs. And you already know practically everything about my life.”
That part is true - an executive assistant’s job description is essentially “support the CEO in any way necessary,” and Jensen’s pretty much micromanaged Jared’s entire existence over the past three years. He knows what seafood Jared’s allergic to, the thread count of the sheets he prefers, and what brand of food his dogs eat. He has a key to Jared’s palatial apartment and has driven both of his cars at some point. Hell, he even knows the answer to the boxers or briefs question, and that Jared breathes heavily when he sleeps, just verging on snoring, but he’ll quiet down if he’s prodded into rolling over or resettling.
All of this, however, means exactly nothing. Jensen is very dedicated to his job and a damn good assistant, that’s all, and that has no bearing on whether he fits some random set of requirements, especially not when “Jared’s fake serious boyfriend” is the position to be filled.
“Okay,” he says slowly. “That’s true. But since I can’t date you, it’s also kind of pointless. Do you have a runner-up in mind? And please, still not Chad.”
“Why not?” Jared asks, folding his hands and leaning forward.
“Well, I don’t think he’d really fit with the “serious, dedicated executive” image you’re trying to create. It’d be more like “serious, dedicated executive with questionable judgment,” because, no offense to the guy, he should come with a surgeon general’s warning stuck to his forehead.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Jared says dryly. “But I was actually wondering why you can’t date me, not why I shouldn’t date Chad.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I actually have several reasons not to date Chad, so I’m all set there. But why not you?”
“I think the board members would really like you to cut down on your internal affairs,” Jensen points out. “So dating me, your subordinate, would be out. Besides, despite us both being men, I think it’s still the biggest cliché ever to be screwing your secretary. Even if it’s only fake-screwing.”
“You’re not my secretary. Besides, that’s what’s perfect about it - it’s a totally forbidden relationship.”
“Right,” Jensen says emphatically. “I mean, wrong. I - what?”
“All the board wants is for me to be less promiscuous,” Jared explains. “So when I stop fishing off the company dock or dating a new celebrity every week, they’ll be happy. And we’ll keep it totally outside the office, so by the time they figure out that I’m still dipping my pen in the company inkwell, they won’t even mind - they’ll see that I’m capable of separating work and pleasure. If I can be professional about fake-screwing my secretary, then I can run a successful company, right?”
There’s a fault somewhere in that logic, but Jensen isn’t going to be finding it anytime soon, not while his attention is still caught on the extremely phallic metaphors Jared used to explain the situation. He has a moment of pique over being compared to an inkwell, but it passes extremely quickly when his mind turns to part about Jared’s pen (although if the rumors are to be believed, the fishing pole comparison is actually more accurate).
Jared misinterprets Jensen’s lustful consideration for confusion, and sighs. “Okay, so that doesn’t make a lot of sense. But what would impress the board members more - me dating a flaky celebrity for a couple of months? Or if someone respectable and responsible like you agreed to go out with me?”
“Points for some actual logic in that attempt, but I haven’t agreed to date you,” Jensen counters.
“I’d make it worth your while,” Jared says.
“You already pay me a ridiculously high salary, which I have no time to spend,” Jensen shoots back. “More money isn’t really an incentive.”
“Ah, but I happen to know just how much you hate Houston,” Jared says smugly. “And I could get you a transfer to the New York office.”
“I don’t hate it here,” Jensen says, which is the truth - as long as “here” is defined as “in this building with one Jared Padalecki.” He doesn’t really hate Houston, either - the heat is annoying and the traffic sucks, but it’s not awful. It’s just that he’s spent his entire life in Texas, and he can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more out there, something better.
Jared isn’t buying it, though. “Three months. That’s all it would take - three months pretending to be my boyfriend, and I’ll make sure you get a cushy position in New York. I’ll even throw in a raise while you’re here, to cover relocation costs.”
“I don’t think - “ Jensen begins, but Jared shushes him with a long finger against his lips.
Jensen resists the urge to lick his lips, maybe grazing that finger in the process, and forces his eyes up to Jared, who’s regarding him seriously.
“Don’t answer now. Just think about it, okay? Everything at work will be just like it always is. All you’d have to do is go out with me a few nights a week and act like you’re besotted with me.” Jared’s voice drops an octave, his eyes steady on Jensen’s. “And then we both get what we want.”
Jensen swallows hard.
“Just think about it,” Jared says.
* * *
Jensen thinks about it. He goes back to his desk and does nothing but think about it, ignoring the work piling up around him and the buzz of the office. Jared’s right, it wouldn’t really be that much of a change from their normal relationship - just hanging out with his boss outside of work, maybe going to dinner or a club and holding hands. Act like you’re besotted with me, Jared had said, and Jensen’s pretty sure he could play that part well enough to win an Oscar. Three months isn’t very long, and the lure of a new life in New York is hard to resist.
He doesn’t really want to leave Jared behind, but at the same time, New York could be a chance to find someone who actually returns his affection, and it would be pretty pathetic to choose unrequited love over a chance to move on and actually live the life he wants for himself. Three years has been long enough - it’s time to get over this schoolboy crush on his boss. And maybe pretending to date said boss isn’t the best way to do it or what Dr. Phil would advise, but it might be exactly the shock therapy Jensen needs (familiarity breeds contempt, after all), and Dr. Phil is kind of an ass, anyway.
Jensen takes a deep breath, then picks up his phone and pushes the button next to the first speed dial. When Jared answers a few seconds later, he says, “I just want you to know, I’m not putting out unless I get dinner and flowers first,” and he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face at Jared’s delighted laughter.
* * *
They officially start their courtship the next week. Jensen feels weird calling the restaurant to make dinner reservations in Jared’s name - it’s not that he hasn’t done it a million times before, it’s just that usually when he asks the host to reserve a table for Jared, it’s with the knowledge that the table will be shared by Jared’s latest flavor of the week. Knowing that it will be him across the table from Jared changes everything.
“You’re sure this will do it?” Jensen asks as the host seats them at their table, a quiet corner spot that affords a view of the room as well as some privacy.
“Positive,” Jared says, settling in across from him and opening his menu. “I come here all the time on dates, and I almost always see someone I know. All we need is to be seen by one person, and then the gossip will start.”
As if to prove his point, the sommelier glides up to the table with a bottle of Riesling and pours for both of them without asking, giving Jared a friendly smile before he departs.
“Great,” Jensen says, staring down at his own menu. “Gossip. Can’t wait.”
Jared grins at him. “Tonight it won’t be so bad - people will notice that I’m with someone new, and they’ll all spend the night trying to figure out who you are.”
“And when they find out I’m nobody important?”
“That’ll have them even more intrigued. Just wait until next week, when I bring you back here again.”
“What, everyone will be shocked that your relationship lasted longer than a week?”
“No, you ass,” Jared snaps, but he’s grinning over the menu. “They’ll be shocked because I never bring anyone here twice. This is a place for first dates only.”
Jensen’s pretty sure he blushes then, because the whole first-date thing makes him feel eighteen again, out with his prom date before the dance, awkward and adolescent.
Thankfully, a waiter shows up then to take their orders, and the distraction of ordering and then eating their food keeps things from getting too weird. Jensen has a bit of trouble acting unaffected when Jared orders chocolate mousse for dessert and moans around a mouthful before offering Jensen a spoonful to share, but he thinks anyone might have trouble acting natural when watching their gorgeous date slide a spoon in and out of their mouth like that.
After their plates have been cleared away, Jared says, “Oh, I almost forgot,” and digs in his pocket for a small object he hands across the table to Jensen.
It’s a single daisy, obviously formerly one of the hundreds lining the walkway outside, and Jensen raises an eyebrow at Jared.
“I know, a rose would have been classier, but I didn’t have time to get to the florist,” Jared says apologetically. “I just want you to know, Jensen, that I’m not one of those guys who says they’ll call and then never does. And I’ll still respect you tomorrow, no matter what happens tonight, because I get it - I’m not going to think you’re easy or a slut, I know that you’re a sexually confident woman who knows what she- “
Jensen catches on about halfway through Jared’s mock-earnest speech, remembering his earlier comment about flowers and dinner before putting out, and he throws the daisy at Jared’s head to shut him up before saying, “I honestly have no idea how you’ve ever gotten laid before.”
Jared cracks up, batting the daisy out of his hair, and of course it’s at that moment that one of Jared’s friends chooses to come over and investigate.
She comes up behind Jensen quietly, and it’s only when Jared chokes on his laughter that Jensen turns and sees her standing there, surveying the two of them. People have been looking at them all night and there have been a few outright curious stares, but this girl is the first to actually approach.
“Lindsay,” Jared says with a smile. “Hey. How are you?”
“I’m great,” she replies. “Justin and I just got here, so I came over to say hi.” She pauses, raising her eyebrows at Jensen like she’s just seen him, and says, “I don’t think we’ve met,” offering her hand.
“Lindsay, this is Jensen,” Jared says, and they exchange nice-to-meet-yous.
There’s a slightly awkward pause during which they all smile at each other, then Lindsay tilts her head and says, “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, Jensen.”
“Yeah, this is my first time eating here,” Jensen replies. “Nice place.”
“Oh, are you new in town?” she asks.
“Nope.”
“A new friend of Jared’s?” she persists.
“No, we’ve known each other for a while.” Jensen’s careful to keep his smile polite, but out of the corner of his eye he can see Jared smirking.
“Oh.” After an awkward pause, Lindsay turns to Jared and asks if he’s going to be at some club Friday night - apparently everyone is going to be there. Jared is noncommittal, and Lindsay, clearly frustrated at the lack of information being provided, excuses herself to go back to her table.
“Maybe I’ll see you Friday night,” she says as she departs. “And you too, Jensen.”
“Maybe,” both Jared and Jensen say in unison. They barely manage to contain their laughter until Lindsay’s out of hearing.
“Jesus, you weren’t kidding about the gossip,” Jensen says.
Jared just waggles his eyebrows and says ominously, “It has begun.”
Part two
Author:belyste
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: Not mine, never happened.
Original Prompt: Gorgeous playboy Carter Matthews’s favorite things are women and money. But the business he’s inherited is broke and his beautiful new employee seems immune to his charm…
Daphne Williams knows Carter’s too rich and too handsome to fall for her. And anyway, she likes her perfectly ordered life the way it is.
But Carter’s decided to prove his reliability - by getting married! Ever-practical Daphne thinks the idea is ridiculous - even more so when she discovers that she’s his chosen bride!
Summary: Jared’s a philandering CEO and Jensen’s his overworked assistant - that is, until Jared decides he needs to improve his image by having a serious relationship and chooses Jensen to be his fake boyfriend. But Jensen’s a little in love with Jared and Jared has ideas of his own, and pretty soon no one is certain what’s fake and what’s real anymore. Featuring dancing, denial, a lot of inappropriate work behavior, and an infamous office holiday party.
Notes: Written for spn_harlequin, and officially the longest fannish thing I’ve ever written. 28,000 words, split into five parts.
(cover art by the fabulous seschat!)
Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five
(and thanks to
too_rational, pdf version is here!)
(podfic by pennyplainknits here!)
Jared Padalecki is not a bad boss. Okay, so he’s not the most organized person in the world, and he needs to be reminded at least three times of an upcoming meeting - once in writing, once verbally, and once with a push in the right direction - and he works erratic hours and has crazy ideas and drinks way too much coffee. And he’s not a very traditional boss, he doesn’t enforce any sort of office rules, and he has no concept of the line between personal and professional - he’s as likely to ask for an opinion on his tie as he is to ask for his phone messages - but he’s also friendly and funny and nice enough that most of the time, Jensen doesn’t mind being his assistant.
Okay, yeah, sometimes it’s annoying when Jared sets up a meeting with Jensen and spends the hour talking about his horoscope or the great new Thai place he found last night or the latest gossip from the mailroom, rather than discussing actual work matters like clients or finances. And it can get sort of awkward when Jared asks Jensen if his cologne is too strong, or if he should buy a flat screen TV for his bedroom, or if he thinks rowing or chin-ups are more effective for building up lats. And there was that one Friday afternoon when Jared discovered YouTube and Jensen was two hours late getting home because Jared insisted on showing him every ridiculous video he could find.
But other than all that, Jared is a good boss. He’s got the kind of charisma that can’t be faked, the earnest interest in other people that draws in clients and endears him to employees, and he has a way of making people feel like all of his attention is completely focused on them when they speak, which goes a long way in persuading someone to give his insane ideas a chance (as Jensen well knows from personal experience). He’s genuinely kind, always willing to grant second chances or time off, and considerate and thoughtful, despite his tendency toward flakiness. The only real fault he has is being impulsive, leaping without even a thought toward looking first, but even that’s a forgivable offense, despite the numerous sticky situations Jensen’s had to smooth over, because it’s part and parcel of Jared’s lovable personality.
It also doesn’t hurt that he’s scorching hot, and that Jensen is half in love with him. Jared inherited extremely good genes along with the company, and besides a healthy dose of charm to balance his good looks, he also has a perfectly toned body that fills out a suit in all the right ways. Not that Jensen ogles him or anything - he’s more professional than that, for god’s sake, and Jared’s ego doesn’t need the added attention - but it’s kind of hard to ignore the way his suit jackets stretch over his broad shoulders, or how nicely his slacks cling to his ass when he bends over his desk. Or the way the buttons of his shirt strain across his chest when he leans back in his chair and links his hands behind his sexy, tousled hair, or the dimples that appear alongside his blinding grin… Okay, so maybe it’s more than just half.
But even if Jensen is a little more than half in love with Jared, he doesn’t let himself even consider the possibility of anything more between them than a working relationship. For one thing, Jensen likes his job - he’s good at it, he enjoys it most of the time, and the pay is good enough to make up for the rest of the time - and he’s not going to jeopardize it for a one night stand.
And that’s the other reason that it won’t ever happen, because one night stands are kind of Jared’s specialty. It’s not malicious on his part - Jared grew up with everything a kid could want and probably shouldn’t have, and his privileged upbringing instilled in him the idea that nothing (and no one) are off-limits, and since very few people turn down a wealthy, handsome CEO of a lucrative business, Jared’s gotten used to seducing every attractive body that crosses his path. He’s kind of like the Paris Hilton of the business world, Jensen has thought more than once, although smarter and a lot less sketchy and without the stupid catchphrases, reality TV shows, and the crappy CD. Jared probably has the STDs and the sex tapes, though, which is sort of reason number three Jensen isn’t going to sleep with him.
Jared’s type also runs more toward the rich and beautiful, and while Jensen doesn’t consider himself unattractive, he’s definitely not membership material for the glamorous crowd that always surrounds Jared at clubs and parties. Jared has never shown any sign of wanting Jensen - he flirts constantly, but it’s uncalculated and careless, just because he can. And okay, there was that one time Jared sort of groped him, but it was at the company holiday party and Jensen was new and Jared was drunk, and the supply closet was dark enough that it could have been anyone Jared was trying to feel up. Anyway, that was three years ago, and there’s been nothing but friendship since, so Jensen is more than happy to let it be.
Which is why Jared’s proposition turns everything upside down.
* * *
Jensen’s stumbling into the office bleary and half-awake on a Monday morning, working on about three hours of spotty sleep thanks to sore muscles (he’s never going on a date with anyone he meets at REI ever again, no matter how cute the guy is - two days of aching from his eyebrows to his toes from a few hours of rock-climbing is not his idea of a good time, thank you very much) and desperately looking forward to a cup of coffee and some time to zone out at his desk when Jared pokes his head out of his office.
“Hey, Jensen! I’m glad you’re here - I’ve got a new project that I could really use your help on. Can I steal some time with you this morning?”
Jared is disgustingly cheerful despite the early hour. Jensen’s so tired and sore that he’s not sure actual words will come out of his mouth if he answers - it might just be a zombie-like moan - so he just nods and waves a hand as he continues on toward his desk.
“Great! I actually - oh, hang on a minute.” The two-tone ring of Jared’s phone echoes out into the hall, and he ducks into his office to grab it.
Jensen drops his stuff in his cubicle, flicking on his computer, then makes a beeline for the coffee machine. The coffee the company supplies is shit, sludgy and bitter, and Jensen usually makes his own at his desk from the gourmet grounds he buys and keeps in a desk drawer, but this morning he needs hot caffeine in less time than his little coffeemaker takes. He dumps several packets of sugar in his mug to make up for the quality, then carries his coffee back to his desk.
Jared comes out of his office just as Jensen sits down, and leans his elbows on the cubicle wall. “Hey. I was just going to tell you that I actually put a meeting on your schedule already, so that we could get started on this thing.”
Jensen types in his password one-handed as he pushes aside a sheaf of printed PowerPoint slides someone left on his desk, along with a post-it note asking for them edited and integrated into a committee presentation by noon. “Okay, sounds good,” he mumbles around a sip of coffee. “I’ll try to get through most of these, and then we can - “
His schedule pops up on the screen, and instead of the blank white lines that used to be his wide-open morning, a bright green box spans 8-12, titled “Important New Project! : )”
“I thought it might take us awhile,” Jared says from above him.
Jensen looks at the two-inch stack of slides next to his computer, then at the 57 new emails in his inbox, the foot-long list of arrangements he needs to make for a committee meeting next week, and the blinking light on his voicemail. Then he looks up at Jared.
Jared just gives him a big smile.
Jensen sighs, picks up his coffee, and follows Jared into his office.
* * *
“Okay, so here’s the thing,” Jared says, leaning across the table toward Jensen. “This isn’t really an official project for the company.”
Jensen raises an eyebrow, but only sips more coffee.
“I mean, it has to do with the success of the company, but it’s not…it’s sort of more about me and my personal life,” Jared says. “But I really need some help, and you’re the only person whose opinion I really trust.” He pulls out the earnest eyes, and Jensen wonders what exactly he’s getting himself into this time.
Jared is always working on some sort of self-improvement project - it seems like every week he comes into work with a new idea on how to change his life completely, varying from Pilates to meditation to wheat germ smoothies, and somehow Jensen’s always sucked into helping, setting up appointments or rearranging Jared’s office furniture for optimum flow of his chi. Well, except for that time he walked in on Jared doing his yoga instructor, because Jared definitely didn’t need help with that. In fact, from what Jensen had seen, Jared seemed to have things very well in hand.
But now is not a very good time to be thinking about that incident, and he realizes that Jared is waiting on an answer. He takes another slug of coffee, reminding himself how badly these not-for-work projects always end, then says yes anyway, because he’s weak and willing to do just about anything to spend more time in the company of Jared’s adorable dimples. “What do you need me to do?”
“Uh, well, it’s kind of embarrassing,” Jared says, ducking his head to rub the back of his neck. “A couple of the board members took me aside at the meeting last week to inform me that they’re not very happy with my performance.”
Jensen frowns. “But the company’s doing great. We’ve got a record number of clients, and our earnings are up this quarter, along with our stock. Why would they be unhappy?”
“They’re fine with how I’m handling the company,” Jared says, then pauses. “Well, they’re not thrilled about how I run things, but as long as the business keeps growing, I don’t think they’ll complain. No, it’s, uh…it’s more about my personal life.”
“Your personal life? Why does that matter?” Jensen gets the feeling he should see the connection between the two, but his sleep-fogged mind and tender muscles stand in the way of rational thought.
“Well, I guess they got wind of a few of my recent…relationships,” Jared says delicately. “And they don’t think my behavior fits with the image the company is trying to project.”
Jensen traces the past few weeks in his memory, trying to recall any particular sexual escapades that might have contributed to this dressing-down. He only comes up with three incidents he was aware of, but considering that one was with the newest mailroom employee, one took place on the table of Conference Room B, and one involved a rival exec, lots of chocolate syrup, and innovative usage of the medicine balls in the company’s gym, Jensen figures the board members are probably right to be worried.
“I see,” he says carefully.
“Right,” Jared says. “They didn’t exactly make any threats, but it was very clearly implied that my behavior needs to change, and soon.” He leans back in his chair and slants a look at Jensen. “Which is where you come in.”
“Me? Can’t you just…be a little more subtle, or something?”
Jared shakes his head. “I have to really show them that I’m making an effort to change. It has to be something serious.”
“So, you’re going to…what?” Jensen asks. “Take a vow of celibacy?” It’s a pretty cheeky thing to say to his boss, but it’s ass o’clock in the morning, his entire body aches, and the small dose of caffeine isn’t making it any clearer why he’s even involved in this whole thing.
Jared just grins. “Close. Monogamy.”
Jensen chokes on a mouthful of coffee. “Excuse me?”
“I’m going to have a monogamous relationship,” Jared repeats with a wide grin. “A serious one, that lasts a long time, so the board members will see just how seriously I take the company.”
Jensen blinks. It’s not the most insane idea Jared’s ever come up with (the interdepartmental dodge ball tournament to “raise company morale” comes to mind) but it’s up there in the top ten, at least. “Um. How exactly are you planning to do that?”
“That’s what I need your help with. I need to find the perfect person to date.” Jared pulls out a legal pad and pen. “We need to make a list of all the most desirable qualities. Then I can go through all the people I know and pick the one that fits the best.”
Jensen slides down a little in his chair, wincing as his muscles protest the shift, and realizes that the four hours Jared allotted for the meeting may not have been an exaggeration.
“I thought of a few things already,” Jared continues, scribbling busily on the notepad. “First off, it needs to be someone respectable - someone classy. And it should probably be someone who likes animals, if they’re going to be spending a lot of time with me.”
Jensen spends a moment hoping someone spiked the coffee this morning, because if they didn’t, then he’s really sitting in his boss’s office composing a want ad for a serious relationship that begins with “Must love dogs.” Jared is looking at him expectantly, though, and there are no oddly-colored animals or spots on the wall that suggest Jensen’s high or hallucinating, so unfortunately he seems to be stuck in reality.
The idea of Jared writing a personals ad brings up a new question, however - who exactly is his SWM boss seeking? “When you say someone,” he asks, “Are you talking about a female someone or a male someone? Because that’s kind of important to know right off the bat.”
“Oh, yeah,” Jared says, blushing a little. “Well, I was thinking more a male someone. I mean, I’m sure the board would prefer it to be a female, for the sake of reputation or whatever, but I’m not going to completely roll over and do everything they say. I’m still running this company, after all, I should get some say in what gender I prefer.”
Jensen hesitates before his next question, but it has to be asked. “Uh, just to make sure - you do know that you can’t just will a long-term relationship into existence, right? I mean, what if you get bored with the guy after a week?”
“I’m fully prepared to pay someone to pretend,” Jared answers immediately. “I don’t really think I’d survive monogamy very long, anyway, so that was kind of my plan all along.”
It’s probably a bad sign that Jensen isn’t even fazed by the admission, but it’s no more absurd than when Jared proposed spreading Casual Fridays out over the week instead, encouraging employees to shed whatever clothing necessary to be “casual” two hours a day, so he just takes a deep breath, pushes aside his aches and pains, and leans forward to do his job. “I think this guy should also be responsible, smart, and have a steady job, to begin with.”
Jared nods and starts writing.
* * *
After an hour, they’ve hammered out a finalized list of qualities to search for, and Jared taps his pen happily against the messy collection of cross-outs and circles on the notepad in front of him. “Awesome. Thanks so much, Jensen, this is going to help a lot.”
Jensen’s not really sure how much help it will be - the first criterion is “classy,” after all, which rules out about three quarters of Jared’s friends alone. Finding someone with the rest of the requirements, much less someone available and willing to date Jared, won’t exactly be easy, even with Jared’s considerable assets.
Speaking of which…Jensen realizes he’s zoned out for a second when Jared leans into his field of vision, a concerned frown scrunching his eyebrows down. “Jensen, are you okay? You look really tired, and you keep wincing when you move.”
“I’m fine,” Jensen says, and attempts to wave a hand casually. The simple movement of fingers lights sparks of pain all up his arm, however, and it ends up being sort of a jerky flop. Jared raises an eyebrow.
“I went rock-climbing this weekend,” Jensen admits. “I thought I might discover a hidden passion for climbing walls, or something. Instead I discovered just how many muscles I could strain in a few hours.”
Jared’s up and out of his chair before Jensen even finishes speaking. “Why didn’t you say something?” he chides, moving behind Jensen’s chair. “Here, lean forward.” He pushes gently against Jensen’s shoulders, ignoring his half-hearted protests. “My masseuse always does this for me; it feels incredible and it’s great for sore muscles.” He begins to knead carefully just below Jensen’s collar, fingers sliding over bone and muscle, thumbs rubbing over ridges and into hollows.
It feels amazing, and even though Jensen’s pretty sure this isn’t appropriate office behavior (if you can’t compliment someone on their tie without it being sexual harassment, it doesn’t seem likely that this kind of touching is up to code) but his willpower is melting right along with his sore back, and instead of saying no, he leans his elbows on the table and lets his head drop down, leaving Jared to it.
Jared slowly works his way down Jensen’s back, alternating wide, rubbing sweeps with the palms of his hands with small circles of pressure. Jensen shivers a little when Jared’s long fingers slide down his sides, slipping under ribs, but Jared just increases the pressure of his thumbs against Jensen’s spine, which feels absolutely heavenly.
Just when Jensen’s thinking that he really should encourage Jared to open his own massage parlor in his spare time (a private one, where Jensen just happens to be the most frequent customer blissfully relaxed under those giant, magic hands), said hands slow on his back, and Jared says, “Hey, Jen,” sounding thoughtful.
“Unh,” Jensen manages.
“You know, all those qualities that we wrote down - don’t they sound kind of familiar?”
“Of course they do,” Jensen mumbles. “We just came up with them, like, five minutes ago.”
“No,” Jared says, laughing as he pulls his hands away. His thumb strokes across the short hairs at the nape of Jensen’s neck as he moves back behind his desk, and Jensen hides a shiver as he sits up. “I mean,” Jared continues, “They all fit someone we both know.”
When Jensen just stares at him blearily, Jared sighs impatiently. “You can’t think of anyone classy, smart, responsible, hardworking, and fond of dogs? I’ll give you a hint - I spend a lot of time with him.”
Jensen’s still lost. “Honestly, I’m just hoping you’re not going to say Chad.”
Jared rolls his eyes. “No, you idiot. You.”
Jensen waits for the continuation of that thought, but nothing comes. “I what?” he prompts.
“You,” Jared repeats. “You’re classy, smart, responsible, hardworking, and fond of dogs. And you already know practically everything about my life.”
That part is true - an executive assistant’s job description is essentially “support the CEO in any way necessary,” and Jensen’s pretty much micromanaged Jared’s entire existence over the past three years. He knows what seafood Jared’s allergic to, the thread count of the sheets he prefers, and what brand of food his dogs eat. He has a key to Jared’s palatial apartment and has driven both of his cars at some point. Hell, he even knows the answer to the boxers or briefs question, and that Jared breathes heavily when he sleeps, just verging on snoring, but he’ll quiet down if he’s prodded into rolling over or resettling.
All of this, however, means exactly nothing. Jensen is very dedicated to his job and a damn good assistant, that’s all, and that has no bearing on whether he fits some random set of requirements, especially not when “Jared’s fake serious boyfriend” is the position to be filled.
“Okay,” he says slowly. “That’s true. But since I can’t date you, it’s also kind of pointless. Do you have a runner-up in mind? And please, still not Chad.”
“Why not?” Jared asks, folding his hands and leaning forward.
“Well, I don’t think he’d really fit with the “serious, dedicated executive” image you’re trying to create. It’d be more like “serious, dedicated executive with questionable judgment,” because, no offense to the guy, he should come with a surgeon general’s warning stuck to his forehead.”
“Thanks for the advice,” Jared says dryly. “But I was actually wondering why you can’t date me, not why I shouldn’t date Chad.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I actually have several reasons not to date Chad, so I’m all set there. But why not you?”
“I think the board members would really like you to cut down on your internal affairs,” Jensen points out. “So dating me, your subordinate, would be out. Besides, despite us both being men, I think it’s still the biggest cliché ever to be screwing your secretary. Even if it’s only fake-screwing.”
“You’re not my secretary. Besides, that’s what’s perfect about it - it’s a totally forbidden relationship.”
“Right,” Jensen says emphatically. “I mean, wrong. I - what?”
“All the board wants is for me to be less promiscuous,” Jared explains. “So when I stop fishing off the company dock or dating a new celebrity every week, they’ll be happy. And we’ll keep it totally outside the office, so by the time they figure out that I’m still dipping my pen in the company inkwell, they won’t even mind - they’ll see that I’m capable of separating work and pleasure. If I can be professional about fake-screwing my secretary, then I can run a successful company, right?”
There’s a fault somewhere in that logic, but Jensen isn’t going to be finding it anytime soon, not while his attention is still caught on the extremely phallic metaphors Jared used to explain the situation. He has a moment of pique over being compared to an inkwell, but it passes extremely quickly when his mind turns to part about Jared’s pen (although if the rumors are to be believed, the fishing pole comparison is actually more accurate).
Jared misinterprets Jensen’s lustful consideration for confusion, and sighs. “Okay, so that doesn’t make a lot of sense. But what would impress the board members more - me dating a flaky celebrity for a couple of months? Or if someone respectable and responsible like you agreed to go out with me?”
“Points for some actual logic in that attempt, but I haven’t agreed to date you,” Jensen counters.
“I’d make it worth your while,” Jared says.
“You already pay me a ridiculously high salary, which I have no time to spend,” Jensen shoots back. “More money isn’t really an incentive.”
“Ah, but I happen to know just how much you hate Houston,” Jared says smugly. “And I could get you a transfer to the New York office.”
“I don’t hate it here,” Jensen says, which is the truth - as long as “here” is defined as “in this building with one Jared Padalecki.” He doesn’t really hate Houston, either - the heat is annoying and the traffic sucks, but it’s not awful. It’s just that he’s spent his entire life in Texas, and he can’t shake the feeling that there’s something more out there, something better.
Jared isn’t buying it, though. “Three months. That’s all it would take - three months pretending to be my boyfriend, and I’ll make sure you get a cushy position in New York. I’ll even throw in a raise while you’re here, to cover relocation costs.”
“I don’t think - “ Jensen begins, but Jared shushes him with a long finger against his lips.
Jensen resists the urge to lick his lips, maybe grazing that finger in the process, and forces his eyes up to Jared, who’s regarding him seriously.
“Don’t answer now. Just think about it, okay? Everything at work will be just like it always is. All you’d have to do is go out with me a few nights a week and act like you’re besotted with me.” Jared’s voice drops an octave, his eyes steady on Jensen’s. “And then we both get what we want.”
Jensen swallows hard.
“Just think about it,” Jared says.
* * *
Jensen thinks about it. He goes back to his desk and does nothing but think about it, ignoring the work piling up around him and the buzz of the office. Jared’s right, it wouldn’t really be that much of a change from their normal relationship - just hanging out with his boss outside of work, maybe going to dinner or a club and holding hands. Act like you’re besotted with me, Jared had said, and Jensen’s pretty sure he could play that part well enough to win an Oscar. Three months isn’t very long, and the lure of a new life in New York is hard to resist.
He doesn’t really want to leave Jared behind, but at the same time, New York could be a chance to find someone who actually returns his affection, and it would be pretty pathetic to choose unrequited love over a chance to move on and actually live the life he wants for himself. Three years has been long enough - it’s time to get over this schoolboy crush on his boss. And maybe pretending to date said boss isn’t the best way to do it or what Dr. Phil would advise, but it might be exactly the shock therapy Jensen needs (familiarity breeds contempt, after all), and Dr. Phil is kind of an ass, anyway.
Jensen takes a deep breath, then picks up his phone and pushes the button next to the first speed dial. When Jared answers a few seconds later, he says, “I just want you to know, I’m not putting out unless I get dinner and flowers first,” and he can’t help the grin that spreads across his face at Jared’s delighted laughter.
* * *
They officially start their courtship the next week. Jensen feels weird calling the restaurant to make dinner reservations in Jared’s name - it’s not that he hasn’t done it a million times before, it’s just that usually when he asks the host to reserve a table for Jared, it’s with the knowledge that the table will be shared by Jared’s latest flavor of the week. Knowing that it will be him across the table from Jared changes everything.
“You’re sure this will do it?” Jensen asks as the host seats them at their table, a quiet corner spot that affords a view of the room as well as some privacy.
“Positive,” Jared says, settling in across from him and opening his menu. “I come here all the time on dates, and I almost always see someone I know. All we need is to be seen by one person, and then the gossip will start.”
As if to prove his point, the sommelier glides up to the table with a bottle of Riesling and pours for both of them without asking, giving Jared a friendly smile before he departs.
“Great,” Jensen says, staring down at his own menu. “Gossip. Can’t wait.”
Jared grins at him. “Tonight it won’t be so bad - people will notice that I’m with someone new, and they’ll all spend the night trying to figure out who you are.”
“And when they find out I’m nobody important?”
“That’ll have them even more intrigued. Just wait until next week, when I bring you back here again.”
“What, everyone will be shocked that your relationship lasted longer than a week?”
“No, you ass,” Jared snaps, but he’s grinning over the menu. “They’ll be shocked because I never bring anyone here twice. This is a place for first dates only.”
Jensen’s pretty sure he blushes then, because the whole first-date thing makes him feel eighteen again, out with his prom date before the dance, awkward and adolescent.
Thankfully, a waiter shows up then to take their orders, and the distraction of ordering and then eating their food keeps things from getting too weird. Jensen has a bit of trouble acting unaffected when Jared orders chocolate mousse for dessert and moans around a mouthful before offering Jensen a spoonful to share, but he thinks anyone might have trouble acting natural when watching their gorgeous date slide a spoon in and out of their mouth like that.
After their plates have been cleared away, Jared says, “Oh, I almost forgot,” and digs in his pocket for a small object he hands across the table to Jensen.
It’s a single daisy, obviously formerly one of the hundreds lining the walkway outside, and Jensen raises an eyebrow at Jared.
“I know, a rose would have been classier, but I didn’t have time to get to the florist,” Jared says apologetically. “I just want you to know, Jensen, that I’m not one of those guys who says they’ll call and then never does. And I’ll still respect you tomorrow, no matter what happens tonight, because I get it - I’m not going to think you’re easy or a slut, I know that you’re a sexually confident woman who knows what she- “
Jensen catches on about halfway through Jared’s mock-earnest speech, remembering his earlier comment about flowers and dinner before putting out, and he throws the daisy at Jared’s head to shut him up before saying, “I honestly have no idea how you’ve ever gotten laid before.”
Jared cracks up, batting the daisy out of his hair, and of course it’s at that moment that one of Jared’s friends chooses to come over and investigate.
She comes up behind Jensen quietly, and it’s only when Jared chokes on his laughter that Jensen turns and sees her standing there, surveying the two of them. People have been looking at them all night and there have been a few outright curious stares, but this girl is the first to actually approach.
“Lindsay,” Jared says with a smile. “Hey. How are you?”
“I’m great,” she replies. “Justin and I just got here, so I came over to say hi.” She pauses, raising her eyebrows at Jensen like she’s just seen him, and says, “I don’t think we’ve met,” offering her hand.
“Lindsay, this is Jensen,” Jared says, and they exchange nice-to-meet-yous.
There’s a slightly awkward pause during which they all smile at each other, then Lindsay tilts her head and says, “You know, I don’t think I’ve seen you here before, Jensen.”
“Yeah, this is my first time eating here,” Jensen replies. “Nice place.”
“Oh, are you new in town?” she asks.
“Nope.”
“A new friend of Jared’s?” she persists.
“No, we’ve known each other for a while.” Jensen’s careful to keep his smile polite, but out of the corner of his eye he can see Jared smirking.
“Oh.” After an awkward pause, Lindsay turns to Jared and asks if he’s going to be at some club Friday night - apparently everyone is going to be there. Jared is noncommittal, and Lindsay, clearly frustrated at the lack of information being provided, excuses herself to go back to her table.
“Maybe I’ll see you Friday night,” she says as she departs. “And you too, Jensen.”
“Maybe,” both Jared and Jensen say in unison. They barely manage to contain their laughter until Lindsay’s out of hearing.
“Jesus, you weren’t kidding about the gossip,” Jensen says.
Jared just waggles his eyebrows and says ominously, “It has begun.”
Part two