Sigh...
I miss having lots of different people to do things with, even though it turns into 10 meals out and 15 trips to Starbucks...it's different because I'm not there for long, so the mundane things become the most meaningful and worthwhile.
I have no motivation for school right now...I suspect I may get an A- in math, maybe even a B+ if I slack off too much more, but I can't help it. It's summer. It's so hot and all I want to do is sleep, practice viola, and read.
While they happen they are very stressful, but my lessons with Sinisa are the things I look forward to the most during the week, I think. I wish I knew that we were friends beyond just the fact that he's teaching me for the summer and thus we have a mild connection there. I have a feeling that fall will come around and I'll sink back into the rest of the non-foreign, non-grad student crowd for him. Oh well. It's been fun to be so close to the top tier of talent at the school. It's not like he's really friends with the rest of the school of music anyway. I mean, he knows everybody and is friendly with everyone, but he doesn't hang out with anyone really. Oh well.
Living with Erin is good and bad. We get along so well...but she often scares me with her carelessness. Nothing too bad, but just little things. It'll never put anyone in danger, I'm sure, but I generally choose to eschew needless risks. We should be fine for the year though, and may live together the year after that even. We'll see how the first year goes though.
Figuring out utilities and stuff for the townhouse is kinda hard. It's fallen to me as "the responsible one"...but I'm not entirely sure of what I'm doing. I wish there were a guideline somewhere...maybe I'll just call Becca and ask her what all I need to set up.
I'm kind of tired of spending all of my time with Aaron and Emily Caskey...they fight a lot. Over money. For my birthday, they spent $40 for food and stuff and Emily paid for it and she wants Aaron to pay her back (for half), but he hasn't yet and shows no signs of intending to do so (though he's given his word). This drives a wedge between Emily and me as well because she expects me to strong-arm Aaron into giving her the money, which is not my place. So it's basically lame. It's so tacky to argue publicly about money issues. They often embarrass me (they had a blowout in Kroger, which is King Soopers)
My new bow is fantastic. It pulls out so much sound...I just wish it were a little bit longer. I think it's about half an inch shorter than my old bow, and I can totally tell in the sustained chords of Bach where I need every millimeter of bow to hold out the sound. Of course, this sound is warmer, more focused, bigger, and just plain better, but I still wish there were just that extra bit of hair so that I didn't have to adjust so much with bow speed.
I find myself often wondering whether people here actually like me or not. Whether I like me or not. I don't know. Some of the habits I've picked up from my friends out here annoy me. The sense of humor is a bit more crass and based on timing and delivery rather than wit. Plus I snap and say "What!?" (generally simultaneously) too much. That's annoying. I need to stop it.
I'm sick of the lawbrary. If I can get a clerk/filing job at a local law firm I will definitely quit soon. It's nice to have a job on campus, but I'd rather get paid more and actually do something.
I'm worried that I will not find sufficient motivation to get through the fall semester out here...one of the bright shining spots is that I'll be playing a lot more gigs (some of the top violinists at the school of music asked me to be a standard member of their quartets that they do for weddings/whatnot) so I'll have more money and I'm applying to be able to audit the Doctoral Poetry Seminar, focusing on modern poetry and poetry composition. That should be edifying if nothing else. I find it strange that I am required to apply to audit, but I don't ask questions.
And that's about it...I'm quite tired, but can never sleep except for naps during the day. Strange.