i love when i'm searching for something on yahoo and nothing comes up and yahoo does that bold, italics thing of asking you did you mean...?!?! as if saying 'duh, moron' and offers a variation of your search. and so you think 'ah, that must be what people are searching for, obvs.' and then it yields absolutely no results. nothing. friggin'

cyle, senka and i visited the home alone house and church. note stereotypical home alone pose:


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my mumsy always says cynicism is a mark of intelligence. i think it's more of a human repellent. that's my two cents. go find a salvation army bucket.

if you haven't been to the newly remodeled victoria's brothel/secret yet, i highly suggest a visit. it's impossible to get to a bra without inadvertently humping a spread eagle mannequin. not that ( Read more... )

it's no orlando bloom calendar, but it still gets my loins a-burning. if you're not hot in the pants yet, check out the back.

on another note, i'm thinking of applying to mtv's made to become an epileptic. if those emosacks can be made into prom queens, i think they can find me a coach and enough anime to make me seizure.

the most frustrating thing about celebrating christmas with polish families is eating dinner starts to make you feel like bill murray in groundhog day. sample conversation:

europerson: do you want anything to drink?
you: (look at glass full of chosen beverage) no, i'm okay.
europerson: do you want tea?
you: no, thanks.
europerson: how about coffee ( Read more... )

more mass transit workers need a sense of humor. like on my nearly empty flight last night, the plane was heading for takeoff and the pilot comes on the intercom and says 'THERE'S NO TURNING BACK.' cue laughter/hysteria.

tennessee was wonderful, sans the foliage hunting jackets that are the uggs of the south. i'm 99% sure i picked up a drawl that ( Read more... )

if jelly belly ever wanted to market an ass flavor, they should consult theraflu. you know, that dayquil-like stuff they trick you into drinking by making you think it tastes like the cinnamon and apples they'd serve in a cafeteria in heaven when, in fact, it tastes how i imagine a portly naked man's ass would taste like after he'd been sitting on ( Read more... )

smiles de-smiling is a fun thing to watch. no really, try it. next time you see someone smile at a passerby or something, notice how long they keep it pasted on their face. then avert your eyes so they don't get the hibbly-jibblies from you staring at them.

tonight was our last and best newswriting class 'cause we got to be ron burgundy (you know ( Read more... )

going from always having pending assignments at school to absolute nothingness at home is like trading speed for a horse tranquilizer.

being a light sleeper is the bane of my existence. and you'd think it would be the peg leg or the plagues i've accumulated. but no, friends, it's the waking up involuntarily every morning. if it's not a ringing cell phone in tahiti, it's one of my neighbors playing classical music or the vacuum cleaner outside my door that might as well be sucking ( Read more... )