If you could meet any famous person and smack them in the head with a large trout, who would it be?

[benton_fraser]

At the age of ten I was struck in the shoulder with a dead otter by a schoolyard bully.

In addition to being more painful than one might imagine -- certainly more painful than I had imagined, although I'd like to believe I would have stepped forward and attempted to reason with the other boy either way -- it was a singularly shaming experience,

Comments

[kara_marie]

Are you REALLY a freak?

[benton_fraser]

I'm afraid so, miss.

At least according to my partner, who I must admit is very often a good judge of character.

[kara_marie]

What sort of FREAK?

And it's Kara.

[benton_fraser]

The Canadian sort.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Kara. My name is Constable Benton Fraser, Royal Canadian Mounted Police. I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father, and for reasons which don't bear exploring at this juncture, I have remained, attached as liasion with the Canadian Consulate, a position which thus far has entailed working in an unofficial capacity with the Chicago Police Department -- more directly, with my partner, Detective First Grade Stanley Raymond Kowalski.

[alan_shore]

Judging by other responses I've read, you're safely in the majority. Nobody seems able to understand the concept of a hypothetical.

[benton_fraser]

Thank you kindly, Mr. Shore. I'll endeavor to enjoy my conformity while it lasts.

[alan_shore]

You're ever so welcome.

[ray__k]

I think this question is just for the freaks and not the kinda freak you are, Fraser. The kinda freak I am. The kinda freak who'd love to hit someone with a trout.

I was gonna say I'd hit Carlos Zambrano, but now you made me feel bad about it. Freak.

[benton_fraser]

Answer as you see fit, Ray. I'm given to understand the question is hypothetical. Relinquish your morals at will.

[ray__k]

Of course it's hypothetical. It's not they're handin' me a fish and sayin' "Here, buddy, choose your victim", right?

Zambrano's got enough problems without me wantin' to hit him with a trout.

[benton_fraser]

It's a slippery slope, Ray.

I should say so. And given his current plight a threat, hypothetical or not, made via the internet might not go unnoticed.