Memoir
So for my English class, I wrote my memoir on... meeting Amber and finding Lolita xD
The ever dimming October sunlight shined through my window as birds flitted around the Marlboro Housing complex. I had just come home from school, a freshman in high school. You’d think a teenager like me would hang out with her friends afterschool and chill. But what close friends did I have at Brooklyn Tech anyways? The friends from anime club I had last year all moved on to other schools. Or they went to college. No sooner had I arrived home, I threw my bag down and eased myself onto my computer chair. It was a habit of mine to wander the internet for hours before I came to the realization that my homework was yet to be finished. For the most part, I looked at clothing online and read blogs about food and Japan. I had to feed my hunger for knowledge daily.
I had recently discovered the existence of alternative fashion. The idea of being different was alluring and so in eighth grade, I tried to look the part of a punk. My attempt was laughable, really. Rows of black jelly bracelets hung about my arms, as did a studded “leather “cuff. A chained crucifix choker from Claire’s hung from my neck. “Fierce” accessories made for a fierce look. Unfortunately I still wore my cousin’s ill fitting, preppy, hand me down clothes and flared blue jeans from Old Navy. There I was a sad wannabe. To this day, I still feel embarrassed when I look back at this wannabe. At the same time I only wanted to stand apart. I wanted to be able to fight the Asian stereotype and be someone that others admired.
I also had a deep appreciation for Japanese culture. Alternative fashion and Japan pretty much go hand in hand, with street styles evolving quickly each day. That October afternoon, I wanted to do some research on a certain Japanese fashion style. Quickly typing ‘Gothic Lolita’ on Google, I was immediately led to the Elegant Gothic and Lolita group on Facebook. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov comes to mind, but I had done some preliminary research. Japanese Lolita Fashion is only related to the sexually precocious girl in name. It is really all about elegance and beauty. Women who wear this style usually emulate the likes of Victorian era children. They wear extravagant bell shaped dresses with bows, ruffles, and lace of all sorts. Often they wear humongous bows or bonnets on their heads and knee high socks with heels.
But what could women dressed so peculiarly in this day and age look like in America? I shook my head. Despite knowing this style existed in Japan, I doubted people outside of Japan could dress in such a way comfortably. Still curious, I looked at photos of girls from around the world who wore this Lolita style. Of the few hundred photos that were up on Facebook, one caught my eye. In it, an ebony skinned girl around the age of 18 sat staring out a window. She wore a pink and white polka dotted dress with a matching bow, the size of her face over the front of the dress (A trademark, you could say, of Lolita Fashion). The background was what made me do a double take. It was the subway. And it wasn’t just any train. It was the D- My train. Impulsively, I found her name, Amber R., and messaged her on Facebook.
“I saw your picture up on EGL and I want to become a Lolita as well. Can you help me?”
Within hours she responded and asked to speak via instant messaging. From there, she taught me about Lolita Fashion. What constituted a proper outfit, what types of clothing couldn’t be worn, the sub styles (sailor, princess, gothic, etc.), everything I would possibly need to know to face to world in my new skin. She not only fed my want to become like her, she provided friendship and personal advice that I had received from no others.
T hat same month, Amber arranged a Halloween meet up for the lolitas in the area. Honestly, I was too naive and bold to worry so much about her being a shady character. At the same time I didn’t know anyone and ended up bringing some old friends from elementary school. What could go wrong if I brought a group of friends? At least they could hold my hands at the haunted house we were going to.
I expected to face awkwardness and maybe even some cattiness from the local Lolitas. To my pleasant surprise, they were mature, intelligent college students with a streak of fun. They shared similar interests in clothing and they too loved Japanese culture. I could never have thought that I’d befriend people in such a way. Finally I met Amber, the one person I had been dying to meet. She was very real and so was the Japanese fashion that I had found myself immersed in. I was in love with what I had found and the beauty of the clothes and the wearers only drove me more to try to achieve this uniqueness that I had seen nowhere else.
In the following months, I transformed. No longer was I lacking in friends and connections. I became a shopaholic online and my wardrobe expanded as I bought clothes from Japan. Fearing rejection from my parents, I concealed my odd clothing for months. Eventually I gave up hiding massive amounts of clothing and wore my puffy dresses out proudly.
With each meet up that I attended, I meet even more wonderful people. Of course with the strange clothing, fascinated tourists would sometimes ask to take pictures with us. The more curious onlookers would even ask us about the origins of our clothing and perhaps where they too could purchase them.
The pinnacle of my experience I would say was the opportunity to be in photoshoots with some renowned photographers. One of which was Holger Keifel. The other was with Fred R. Conrad of the New York Times newspaper. I was given so many opportunities to interact with people, that naturally I became more outgoing in personality. Strangely enough my curiosity led to such a strange turn in my life. Taking risks can truly be worth it in my case and from all that I’ve gained from it, I can’t deny that.
The ever dimming October sunlight shined through my window as birds flitted around the Marlboro Housing complex. I had just come home from school, a freshman in high school. You’d think a teenager like me would hang out with her friends afterschool and chill. But what close friends did I have at Brooklyn Tech anyways? The friends from anime club I had last year all moved on to other schools. Or they went to college. No sooner had I arrived home, I threw my bag down and eased myself onto my computer chair. It was a habit of mine to wander the internet for hours before I came to the realization that my homework was yet to be finished. For the most part, I looked at clothing online and read blogs about food and Japan. I had to feed my hunger for knowledge daily.
I had recently discovered the existence of alternative fashion. The idea of being different was alluring and so in eighth grade, I tried to look the part of a punk. My attempt was laughable, really. Rows of black jelly bracelets hung about my arms, as did a studded “leather “cuff. A chained crucifix choker from Claire’s hung from my neck. “Fierce” accessories made for a fierce look. Unfortunately I still wore my cousin’s ill fitting, preppy, hand me down clothes and flared blue jeans from Old Navy. There I was a sad wannabe. To this day, I still feel embarrassed when I look back at this wannabe. At the same time I only wanted to stand apart. I wanted to be able to fight the Asian stereotype and be someone that others admired.
I also had a deep appreciation for Japanese culture. Alternative fashion and Japan pretty much go hand in hand, with street styles evolving quickly each day. That October afternoon, I wanted to do some research on a certain Japanese fashion style. Quickly typing ‘Gothic Lolita’ on Google, I was immediately led to the Elegant Gothic and Lolita group on Facebook. Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov comes to mind, but I had done some preliminary research. Japanese Lolita Fashion is only related to the sexually precocious girl in name. It is really all about elegance and beauty. Women who wear this style usually emulate the likes of Victorian era children. They wear extravagant bell shaped dresses with bows, ruffles, and lace of all sorts. Often they wear humongous bows or bonnets on their heads and knee high socks with heels.
But what could women dressed so peculiarly in this day and age look like in America? I shook my head. Despite knowing this style existed in Japan, I doubted people outside of Japan could dress in such a way comfortably. Still curious, I looked at photos of girls from around the world who wore this Lolita style. Of the few hundred photos that were up on Facebook, one caught my eye. In it, an ebony skinned girl around the age of 18 sat staring out a window. She wore a pink and white polka dotted dress with a matching bow, the size of her face over the front of the dress (A trademark, you could say, of Lolita Fashion). The background was what made me do a double take. It was the subway. And it wasn’t just any train. It was the D- My train. Impulsively, I found her name, Amber R., and messaged her on Facebook.
“I saw your picture up on EGL and I want to become a Lolita as well. Can you help me?”
Within hours she responded and asked to speak via instant messaging. From there, she taught me about Lolita Fashion. What constituted a proper outfit, what types of clothing couldn’t be worn, the sub styles (sailor, princess, gothic, etc.), everything I would possibly need to know to face to world in my new skin. She not only fed my want to become like her, she provided friendship and personal advice that I had received from no others.
T hat same month, Amber arranged a Halloween meet up for the lolitas in the area. Honestly, I was too naive and bold to worry so much about her being a shady character. At the same time I didn’t know anyone and ended up bringing some old friends from elementary school. What could go wrong if I brought a group of friends? At least they could hold my hands at the haunted house we were going to.
I expected to face awkwardness and maybe even some cattiness from the local Lolitas. To my pleasant surprise, they were mature, intelligent college students with a streak of fun. They shared similar interests in clothing and they too loved Japanese culture. I could never have thought that I’d befriend people in such a way. Finally I met Amber, the one person I had been dying to meet. She was very real and so was the Japanese fashion that I had found myself immersed in. I was in love with what I had found and the beauty of the clothes and the wearers only drove me more to try to achieve this uniqueness that I had seen nowhere else.
In the following months, I transformed. No longer was I lacking in friends and connections. I became a shopaholic online and my wardrobe expanded as I bought clothes from Japan. Fearing rejection from my parents, I concealed my odd clothing for months. Eventually I gave up hiding massive amounts of clothing and wore my puffy dresses out proudly.
With each meet up that I attended, I meet even more wonderful people. Of course with the strange clothing, fascinated tourists would sometimes ask to take pictures with us. The more curious onlookers would even ask us about the origins of our clothing and perhaps where they too could purchase them.
The pinnacle of my experience I would say was the opportunity to be in photoshoots with some renowned photographers. One of which was Holger Keifel. The other was with Fred R. Conrad of the New York Times newspaper. I was given so many opportunities to interact with people, that naturally I became more outgoing in personality. Strangely enough my curiosity led to such a strange turn in my life. Taking risks can truly be worth it in my case and from all that I’ve gained from it, I can’t deny that.