Moments of revelation and transition.

[beowulf55]

Some years ago I heard a psychoanalyst describe their work as being able to remove this screen or curtain which exists between a person and what they really want to achieve. Its like our minds put up barriers which stop us being happy or being successful.

Move ahead about ten years and following another period when I’ve been contemplating the

Comments

[cynicalgrey]

Was the psychoanalyst saying that we choose the barriers because it stops us from being unhappy or we choose them because we need a coping mechanism?

And in relation to your revelation, is it a coping mechanism developed to voice the difficulty in handling what you have as a learned behavior and what you feel "just is/isn't right?"

These thoughts are something I play with a lot.

Understanding definitely isn't everything, but it's the biggest, hardest step. Once I understand why I do things, I am able to see when I am doing them. Might not stop it, but I am an active observer as opposed to an unwitting actor.

[beowulf55]

Thanks for the comment.

I think the Psycoanalyst was just commenting on the barriers we all put up for various reasons, and by barriers I also mean inhibitions. Such things gained for coping, learnt, and accidental based on circumstance. You then get into the people with real problems, real barriers and the folks that decide to do somthing about it. sorry to genralise here, but the real message for me was that its like a clouded shower screen draped around us, stopping us for doing what we want to do, preventing us from being happy.

With regards to my revolation, its about re-creating the family life I had as a kid, in my adult life. The more I think about it, the more its becomes a set of values, a set of roles which act to shape what I now feel is right and wrong. For me, this past week, its been like sitting in a cinema, and then realising after half an hour that they show films there. A real revolation.

[cynicalgrey]

I like how you put "its like a clouded shower screen draped around us, stopping us for doing what we want to do, preventing us from being happy" because I feel that all my issues, barriers, and inhibitions prevent me from being happy and I just want to clean it off.

I've always felt that my family shaped me, but it was for the worse while many tried to fight what was inevitable. Was your family life something to aspire to or do you feel it has given you goods and bads?

Revolations

[beowulf55]

Thanks, from what the psychoanalyst said, it was the image I was left with.

I guess the first step to getting rid of the screen, is to understand what put it there in the first place, to try and understand it all. I don't want to be negative, but it is entirely possible that some of those things are burried so deep or are even lost in the mists of time it just wont be possible to approach it from that perspective.

The other approach, somthing that I've been trying is to look at each barrier and inhibition in turn, as it happens, and look at it in isolation and try and deconstruct, sort of approaching the screen from a more objective position, the other side.

The biggest thing in my family life, well the one I've been thinking about most lately, is the relationship with my sister, to be more accurate, my sister and the way she shaped my view of women. I can expeand on this if you'd like, but it will take a few thousand words.

What about your biggest influences.