if anyone wants to pay the 258 to get both plane tickets to here you should come visit me. room would be free and food would be really cheap. anyways. i want visitors. come and bring me berkeley stuff! :p no. in short i just miss everyone. i would offer to pay for the tickets myself but i cant afford it. just call me about it or comment me. if or ( Read more... )

staring up at the nights sky and stars i force myself to recognize ( Read more... )

i fucking hate my life. its not an exaggeration. it really isnt. i dont know what else to say but that. this thing isnt doing the trick. anyways. i'm sick as well. and i'm having a conversation about what a great time she's having and i'm glad but i'm crying on the other end and i guess she'll know when she reads this but at least it will be ( Read more... )

Deliverance and pain
Sweet tears and shame
Droplets across bruised skin
Torn and ripped again
Usless pieces of flesh and bone
Unused parts of body and stone
Broken tears sob with each grain of salt
Let out through eyes
That see no more but the blade and the name.

I hope D was right when she said that. Its kinda bugging me to think about the fact that katies spending the night at brenna's. it would make me ill if i let myself think about it long enough. but so far i'm good at destraction. wish she would at least txt me to tell me whats up with tomorrow. eh. i think i'ma go to bed early tonight. cant be sad ( Read more... )

Why is this so fucked up. Damnit. I just cant do anything right it seems. If I do one thing it makes one or the other unhappy. And sometimes for her sake i think its better that i'm leaving. Maybe its better i will be gone. Maybe it'll be better, she wont have her heart broken and the other wont have to deal with me anymore. Fuck breakups, fuck ( Read more... )

do di doo doo. i had a pretty good day. katies mom fucked over some of our plans but i got to see both laurel and katie and that was aweseom because i missed them both a ton. man i've got a busy 16 days left. oy. heh. tomorrow i work agian. then see katie and see LADY IN THE WATER like i have wanted to for so long. and yeah...so busy. i really ( Read more... )

THE IDIOT>

so how has life been lately i wonder? everything is a mass ball of confusion. no one knows whats going on. i seem to be crying a lot lately. honestly i thought that graduation and getting ready to go to college would be the best time in my life. since the eight grade i've been dreaming of freedom and escaping from here and i just kind of assumed ( Read more... )