(No surprise to me) You're classless, clever and free (2/3)

[berryboys]

Luhan barely slept that night. In part because sleeping on the floor was horrible, and in part because Baekhyun didn’t come back to the bedroom. He had no idea if he was in the other room, but he didn’t hear his voice all during the night. Minseok stayed awake too, watching him, but the rest of the boys were deeply sleeping around him, snores and harsh breathing filling the room.

Despite not falling asleep, he blocked the tornado of thoughts, always on the verge of breaking down and starting to cry. Baekhyun might have not been a hostage, but just right then, Luhan was. If he could only go back to tell Junmyeon that Baekhyun wasn’t dead and neither was he, it would have been worth it.

When morning came, Minseok woke everyone up, and one by one the boys left both the bedroom and the house. However, Minseok didn’t accompany them, and as Luhan’s stomach growled in hunger, he remembered none of them had had dinner or breakfast, and maybe they wouldn’t eat for a while yet.

“I am hungry,” Luhan informed him, making Minseok fix his eyes on him.

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it surely wasn’t a mocking smirk. Luhan would have sworn he was retaining a laugh. “There’s no food.”

Of course there wasn’t, Luhan thought. And in case there was some, he would be the last to eat. He had double the meat on his bones than those boys, he wasn’t blind. As he inspected Minseok with furrowed eyebrows, about to say something, Baekhyun showed up at the door with a serious grimace.

Luhan sat up straight off, forgetting his hunger and his sleepless night just to exclaim, “Did he hurt you?”

On his mattress, Minseok snorted, but Baekhyun drew an amused grin at the question.

“Hurt me? Oh, Luhan,” he sighed, plopping down next to him. He moved Luhan’s hair out of his vision, almost tenderly, and his friend observed he just looked as tired as him. “He’s mad at me though. And even madder at Minseok for giving you his real name. And also mad at the guard who led you to us. As you can see, he’s mad in general.”

Baekhyun didn’t wait for him to give his opinion, and he started undoing the ropes around Luhan’s wrists instead. He was indifferent at the burning in his skin, as though he was used to seeing those kinds of wounds, but Luhan flamed in pain because of the swelling.

“You are doing this because of love?” Luhan asked, not hiding his incredulity. Minseok examined them both in curiosity and amusement, like a spectator watching a play. “You are disposed to kill your own parents because of him?”

Above all, what scared Luhan was the fact that there wasn’t a single bit of remorse in Baekhyun. “It’s not about love. This isn’t about me or him,” he assured Luhan, and his words sparkled with conviction in a strange way. “You don’t know anything about them. Me… on the other hand-”

“He is an insignificant graired,” Luhan added before his friend could keep excusing himself. For the first time, he managed to make Baekhyun embarrassed. Probably, because his parents must have told him the same words again and again during his entire life, and although Luhan didn’t point out that he was a traitor, and stupid, and that he was just being childish, Baekhyun knew he was acting like trash. “Manipulative garbage that has you brainwashed.”

“Hold up there, you’re talking ‘bout my brother!” Minseok suddenly yelled at him, getting up. Luhan didn’t move an inch as Minseok scowled at him, fists closed on both of his sides. “Don’t call us graireds. Don’t you see where you are and how you don’t have any value among us? What do you know about Jongin? He has been risking his life since he was five for all of us. What were you doing meanwhile? Playing with your toys and learning how we are dangerous because we are ugly?”

“Minseok,” Baekhyun called him, and his fury died down instantly. “It’s a private conversation.”

The other boy hesitated for a second, gaze still on Luhan’s face. “I’m supposed to watch him.”

“In silence,” Baekhyun reminded him. “You can shout at him when I’m done with him.”

Minseok recoiled to his previous position, but it was obvious he was holding back all he wanted to spit at Luhan. In any case, that just proved that his kind hardly had any self-control.

However, Luhan didn’t mind him; he just needed to recover the real Baekhyun, make him understand that it wasn’t worth it. “Our people are innocent. Do you think Junmyeon deserves to die?”

It was when Baekhyun brought a disgusted gesture to his lips that Luhan was conscious he had said something wrong. Maybe Junmyeon wasn’t the one to blame, but Baekhyun’s parents? That was another story.

“They’re innocent, but they’ll never rebel,” Baekhyun responded, and this time he did stare at Minseok for a fleeting instant. “They’re in a comfortable position and won’t risk anything to lose it, even if we’re dying because of it.”

We. Luhan held himself not to correct him. Baekhyun wasn’t a graired, and even though he loved Jongin, he would never be one of them. That was beyond logic: his genome was perfectly carved, and he could do nothing about it.

“Then I stay here, as a prisoner?” Luhan questioned pointlessly.

Baekhyun shrugged, but he avoided his inquiring stare. “Think from our point of view. If we let you go, we’ll be dead before we can even say goodbye.” He combed the ropes between his fingers, needing to distract himself from the conversation. “You’re not my enemy, Luhan. You’re my friend. But this, this is my real family, and I won’t let them down.”

Baekhyun finished the discussion like that and stood up, taking the ropes with him instead of tying his friend once more. He left without a word, and Luhan wondered what this meant, if he was disobeying Jongin or if he was allowed to do it. He rotated to stare at Minseok, who simply remained quiet and earnest after Baekhyun’s statement. However, Luhan had more questions now, because he comprehended less than before.

“What do I not know about your brother?” Do I have to bring Jongin down to get Baekhyun back? was the real question within Luhan. “Risking his life since he was five?”

Minseok had brought his knees to his chest, curling up with his chin over them. He didn’t seem to have any intention of giving an answer, a crude sneer in its place, and Luhan finally noticed that despite his beauty, Minseok was dirty. Not metaphorically, for he had dark stains on his uniform and even on his face, and his hands were gray from the discolouration of his clothes.

“If you want respect,” Luhan insisted, and Minseok’s smile froze at the mention of his honor, “Why do you not tell me why you deserve it?”

The graired wasn’t able to conceal how much Luhan bothered him, but that was the reason why he obtained the information. Minseok sent daggers through his eyes and explained, “Jongin was trained to be Baekhyun’s perfect servant. They made him grow up with him, befriend him so that we could have an important piece inside the government. Jongin was ten when we finally got him into the president’s house, but Baekhyun was a horrible child.”

“I don’t remember Baekhyun being-”

“It was a failure,” Minseok continued, pretending he hadn’t heard Luhan. Perhaps because to him, his opinion was useless. “Because then they fell in love and Baekhyun decided he wanted to fight but only if he was with Jongin. So we came back to square one, and had to change our plans.”

Sometimes, Luhan considered himself completely ignorant. But his education had granted him some skills, like the capacity to extract more information that he was given. Jongin didn’t train, he was trained. Jongin didn’t grow up with Baekhyun, he was forced to. He didn’t need to know more about Jongin, especially when he had spent months punishing himself with the mystery that was Kim Minseok. Now that Luhan had discovered what he was and paid a high price for it, he wished he hadn’t pried.

Luhan tiredly rubbed the marks of his wrists, as if he had no real interest in Minseok. “Why are you not in the data base?”

“Data base?” the graired repeated, stretching out his legs. “Those electronic toys you have?”

Luhan made a great effort not to roll his eyes. He had been kidnapped, he wasn’t going to taste any food for a while, and he was in no position to feel superior. He was superior, but it was better not to tell that to someone who had him under his control. “Yes. The toys.”

“ Yes. The toys,” Minseok mimicked him, ridiculing his words in a way that sounded exactly like Luhan. It was weird coming from him, because Minseok’s voice only fit the careless accent graireds had. “You sound like you’re reading an official announcement. Your accent’s so stupid.”

Luhan lifted his head, beyond befuddled when he spotted how Minseok’s lips curled in a smile as to quiet a giggle. He looked so much like a child, resting against the wall and inspecting Luhan like he was just a joke, a pet whose tail he could pull and then laugh at.

“You should hear yourself. Have you?” he counterattacked, offended. “You are so confident of yourself. What if I got up, beat you up and left? What makes you think I will wait here under your watch?”

That was supposed to erase the jokes, but it was ineffective. Minseok observed him with interest, and then suddenly he was bending down with laughter before Luhan’s skeptical eyes. It didn’t last, because Luhan clumsily got on his feet, jerking Minseok’s attention again.

“Oh?” the graired asked at last, tilting his head in intrigue. The shine of his pupils, even from that distance, told Luhan that he was still taking it like a game. “Go ahead. Maybe I should put a collar with a bell on you so you don’t get lost.”

That was enough. Luhan, despite his weakness, managed to walk towards the other room, while Minseok unexpectedly followed between, without attempting to stop him. The sleeping boy from last night was there, on the cushions, but he had been so silent that Luhan would have never perceived him. With Luhan’s presence though, he came alive again.

“What are you doing?” he asked Minseok, wide-eyed as both guys approached the door.

“Lettin’ him out,” Minseok announced, almost proud, when his fist found the lock and the door opened with a crack.

“Wha-?”

Minseok tugged at the door, the light of the morning crashing on the three of them, and assured, “It’s okay, Jongdae.” Then he stared at Luhan with an inquiring grimace and motioned outdoors with his head. “You wanna leave? Leave.”

All of a sudden, Luhan wasn’t sure. Did Minseok think Luhan wouldn’t reach his home in one piece? Were there dangerous things in the Suburbs for him? He didn’t know a single fact about the Suburbs, and now it was full of graireds and he would be impossible to ignore if he went out with his bare face.

Jongdae had his lips parted in anxiety, about to jump from his cushion even though he didn’t seem able to even breathe by himself. On the contrary, Minseok rested his hand on the door, a waiting, challenging posture that Luhan wasn’t able to bear with. So, without a second thought, he stepped out.

Luhan didn’t go far. There was a reason why Minseok had been so composed at his will of freedom: there were men around the house and the shop whose duty it was to make sure everything was in order. As soon as Luhan had appeared, he had had three graireds surrounding him. That was also the reason why Chanyeol had entered the shop that night. Someone had spotted Luhan, a complete stranger, intruding upon their territory when he was supposed to be attending the Song of the Night; then the boys had received the alarm and Chanyeol had been the one to check if Minseok was in danger.

At some point, it also became evident that Minseok wasn’t too content with being his babysitter. He complained for a whole week to Jongin, who had assigned him the task, but he gained nothing. Jongin wasn’t ashamed to call out his own brother for his mistakes, and so he did every time Minseok dared to insinuate he had better things to do. You told him your name, you made him your problem.

“Some parents don’t want their children to turn into the monsters that oppress us. They can’t give ‘em money and education, but they can give ‘em principles. And that has more value to us than anything else.”

Luhan was hungry, and although Minseok was talking to him, a part of his brain could only focus on how much he craved food. He had eaten a piece of bread two days ago and that was it; he was so tired that he barely understood what Minseok was saying. On the contrary, Minseok was as vigilant as always, because he lacked so much meat that he probably didn’t need to be fed yet.

“What does that even mean?” Luhan mumbled, rolling over the scraggy mattress. Minseok was on the other side of the room, laying with his chin on the back of his hands, and sluggishly staring between Luhan and a perpetually sleeping Jongdae.

“You asked why I’m not in the data base. That’s why,” Minseok answered. Even if Luhan, rubbing his eyes, sat up to listen to whatever Minseok was going to tell him, the other didn’t give signs of this being a significant talk. Chances were that it was just boredom winning over the repugnance of conversing with a boy from the upper class. “My parents registered Jongin and Jongdae though, because Jongin was deadly ill and Jongdae has asthma, so they weren’t candidates for the upper class. But they were afraid I could be.”

Luhan glanced towards Jongdae once, because if he had comprehended well enough, he was Minseok’s brother too. He never left the house, and even with the lack of activity, he was as thin as a skeleton. Luhan wasn’t sure if he suffered any sickness besides asthma; if he did, the boys didn’t seem to be aware.

However, that wasn’t important. Minseok had just revealed that some children weren’t registered, that his parents had thought he could be sent to the upper class because he was healthy and he was perfect. Luhan completely agreed with them: Minseok had a high likelihood of having lived on a side he didn’t belong to.

“You are beautiful.” Luhan didn’t realize he declared it out loud until Minseok’s glare settled on him. It wasn’t a compliment or a personal thought; it was a fact, and Minseok was conscious of it. That didn’t mean he was disposed to accept it, and Luhan held this new power he had discovered: Minseok, with his sharp eyes and his pretty face, was fighting for the wrong faction. Luhan retained the urge of laughing, the urge of awakening the rage within the boy, and then he let it explode. “Even among us, it is rare to find such a beauty like you.”

The effect was immediate, and it was also comforting to watch how boredom disappeared from Minseok’s face, his fingers cradling into fists, a glare that slowly transformed into more. “Shut your mouth.”

Luhan smiled over his victory. “Do you think I do not have principles?”

“Your principles don’t matter to me while my brother is dying. You get it?”

“Your brother is dying, great,” Luhan fought back, annoyed. “And what about mine? You think you are allowed to kill them, as if they do not mean anything for anyone. How many children are you going to murder before you realize this is nonsense?”

At first, Luhan was certain he wouldn’t get an answer. Minseok was pissed, since his family seemed to be a sensitive topic for him. Luhan was glad that he had a weakness, because if he had to sit here and wait for them to destroy Junmyeon, he was going to make sure they lost something they loved too.

“Murder?” Minseok inquired as he sat up, mouth twitching up in disgust. “What d’you think we’re doing exactly?”

Luhan narrowed his eyes at him, failing to read his expression. “Baekhyun mentioned this was a war.”

“A political war,” he cut before Luhan added another of his theories. His scowling became more profound, as though he couldn’t bear with the thought. “Really? The purpose of ‘brainwashing’ Baekhyun was to have important figures within the government. It’s not us who planned this, there were more people like Jongin among you all, and of course our options don’t end with Baekhyun.”

Lips pressed in a thin line, Luhan had no words to reply. A political war was beyond his knowledge, but if Junmyeon had been here, he would have explained anything he needed to know. Minseok's information was unsettling, and a part of him couldn't stop wondering if he had come into contact with someone that, despite being from the upper class, covertly supported the graireds. He had never imagined Baekhyun would be capable of liking a graired, let alone abandoning his family for one; maybe there were dozens, hundreds of people like him. Traitors were dangerous.

"I see," Luhan muttered under his breath. "But you wouldn’t have hesitated for a minute to cut my head off."

"Neither would you," Minseok retorted right away, while the worry scurried away from his face bit by bit. His shoulders relaxed, he peeked over his shoulder towards Jongdae and added, "It wouldn't be the first time for me."

There were strange things about Minseok that Luhan didn't quite grasp. He became anxious while talking about Jongdae, for example, or when Jongin argued with him. However, he looked at ease as he confessed he had killed people before, in a world where they didn't have any need to. His kind usually died by themselves, and Luhan had never heard of a murder before; perhaps some accidents about how someone had beaten a graired up and had lost track of the punishment, but it was never on purpose or for pleasure.

"You have murdered people," Luhan repeated out loud, staring at the ceiling in an attempt to distract himself from having a panic attack.

He noted how Minseok's gaze fell on him, heavy and steady. "Not like that. There are people who beg for it, though it might sound ridiculous to you."

"It does." Luhan's eyes travelled again to the boy, trembling and wondering, but much to his surprise, Minseok wasn't sending one of his glares in his direction. He had his arms around his legs, head supported on his knees, and there was a tenderness - a delicacy - that painted him as much more beautiful than usual. "Do you mean you killed for compassion?"

It took him several seconds, but at last Minseok shrugged. "Sometimes you fuck up, hurt yourself by accident, and you know that you are going to suffer the rest of your life for it. It's not the same to lose a hand while being from your class than it is while being from ours. We live by our arms and legs."

Luhan didn't like this conversation at all. It made him center his attention on Minseok's hands, pretty but wounded, or on his small feet that showed he had been walking around barefoot for a long time. Luhan had noticed that, although there were ten boys in the house, there were only six pairs of shoes. That was counting the three pairs Baekhyun had brought with him, and they had also taken away Luhan's since he wasn't allowed to leave the house.

He had been restraining himself from glancing at Jongdae, but assaulted by the train of questions, Luhan couldn't help himself. And of course, Minseok noticed how he inspected Jongdae in curiosity and, if he had gotten mad for it, Luhan wouldn't have blamed him. Luhan himself had been frustrated at the people who commented on Junmyeon's depression as though they were accusing him of being useless to society. Just like Junmyeon, Jongdae was just a mouth to feed, someone who raised the number from which their food was divided from, yet unable to bring them anything of value.

"Don't look at my brother," Minseok snapped at him, voice dropping so many pitches that it came out like a growl.

The guilt washed over Luhan, and before he was aware of what he was doing, he had already muttered a clear, "Sorry."

Trying to count the days proved to be useless, at least when Luhan was unable to remember them after three weeks. Instead, he learned to trace the time by measuring how much weight he was losing. There was the certainty that, at some point, he would stop slimming down because his body would get used to it; anyhow, he was glad he didn't have a mirror to look at himself. Observing how his hipbones started to protrude or how he felt the skin stretching against his ribs when he lay down was bad enough.

He wasn't the only one to notice this, but it was natural that most of the boys disregarded it or thought that Luhan had been a bit plump before either way. Luhan considered it was them who were extremely skinny though.

"Take it."

Baekhyun offered his food sometimes, but it was always when they were alone. Right then, while they were all sitting around the pot - sharing a single rabbit and a loaf of bread for all of them - Baekhyun drew everyone's attention with his words. Luhan glanced at him, at his extended arm and the present of an extra piece of bread, and immediately knew it wouldn't be well received.

"No," Jongin intervened then, eyes darting from Baekhyun to Luhan and flicking in annoyance. "It's your food, and you eat it."

"I can do whatever I want with my food," Baekhyun replied right away, bothered by the order. "Mind your-"

"That's the food I got us." The silence settled among them as Jongin dropped his portion of rabbit on the floor. Luhan had noted before that they didn't care at all about the dirt in their food, which was rather disturbing. "If you're planning to starve yourself even more, I'll expel you from here back to your home."

Baekhyun held Jongin's gaze in an obvious challenge, jaw stiff as though he was containing a hurtful answer. Maybe he was, and despite Jongin being firm a second ago, he hesitated as soon as he read the other's expression.

Then happened the impossible: Baekhyun yanked his hand back and, as if they hadn’t just argued, bit on his bread while staring at his own feet. And although Luhan supposed Jongin had won, the guy grasped Luhan's wrist, turned it around and put his own piece of bread on his palm, accompanied by a warning stare that told him it was the first and the last time he did this.

Luhan often heard the boys discuss things with Jongin who, without a doubt, was the one who led them. However, Minseok had told him that his brother didn't really have an important position in the organization - none of them did - and it was just because he had taken care of them since they were pretty young. They listened to him as if his words were sacred, and judging by the way Minseok obeyed him, they were very strict about their loyalty. That didn't mean Minseok didn't complain about having to stay at home with Jongdae and Luhan, and somehow it was offensive how he saw him as a burden. Not in the case of Jongdae, of course.

They reminded Luhan of Junmyeon, because their relationship was similar to the one Luhan had with his brother. Jongdae was sick, while Junmyeon was weak, and both Minseok and Luhan made sure they weren't in danger because of it. That was something that was out of Minseok's hands though, yet Luhan had managed pretty well on his own.

Perhaps that was the reason Luhan wasn't surprised when, one of the nights the three of them were spending alone, Minseok subtly begged for a favor.

"Baekhyun says you were studying medicine."

His voice was much softer than usual, like the lullabies Luhan's mother used to sing to him when he was a little boy. And as he turned to stare at him, wide-eyed, he discovered that his features were also different. He didn't think much about it, because if Minseok was beautiful before - with a frown on his face, mad and on the defensive - there were no words to explain how perfect he was like this.

"Yes, before I got kidnapped, that was what I did," Luhan bit back, troubled by his own thoughts towards the boy.

Minseok looked down in order to break the eye contact, fingers playing with his baggy clothes in nervousness as though he wasn't sure if he should keep talking.

"Do you...? D-do you know what’s happening with Jongdae?" he muttered, and he sounded so unsure, so damaged by the hours he had passed watching his brother suffer, that Luhan didn't have the heart to deny him an answer.

Luhan hesitated for a second, and then, deciding that maybe it was better for them to be ignorant, he responded, "I do not have any way of-"

"He's been like this for two months," Minseok interrupted before Luhan could excuse himself. "He started working as a fisherman by the sea, and then he suddenly got ill. He throws up a lot, has fever and diarrhea, and his stomach is..."

"It's not that bad," Jongdae stepped in. This time, Luhan was beyond shocked, since he never participated in their conversation. He was a shadow in the corner, sleeping most of the time, except when he was having some pain. In some ways, Luhan feared that Jongdae was trying to hide Minseok's debility - worry for Jongdae. "You don't have to worry."

Nevertheless, Minseok didn't acknowledge his brother. His pupils were settled on Luhan, shining in a question, in a plea that Luhan had never seen before. Minseok needed reasons to accept why his brother was so sick, but Luhan didn't have them. And, even though he suspected what was making Jongdae ill, he knew there was no use in telling them. He didn't have a way to confirm it, less a way to cure him without medicine.

"It could be anything," Luhan said at last with a shrug. He ignored the flash of pain that crossed Minseok's face, suspecting that he was going to become hostile again. "It could be nothing. And I am just a student, not a doctor."

The brothers gazed at each other in a silent exchange, while Luhan held his breath in regret. Did Minseok need really to know? He was a graired, but Luhan wasn't rotten enough to hurt him.

The nights were extremely silent, except for the snores and some sleep-talking, and Luhan had gotten used to it. Baekhyun always slept on his left side, sometimes interlacing their fingers although Jongin was discontent with that, and Minseok usually was situated on his right. It was a routine that allowed Luhan to get some sleep so, as soon as the normality crashed, he woke in the middle of the night.

The first thing he noticed was that Baekhyun wasn't there, even if he reached out to search for him over the sheets. His spot was cold already. The second signal was rather disturbing, since Luhan distinguished noises that he hadn't caught before, noises that the snores couldn't conceal. In alarm, he sat up with a faint gasp, and right away a hand landed on his chest and pushed him back down.

"What are you doing?" Minseok questioned him, using a tone that Luhan didn't recognize.

The shock punched Luhan in the guts when he became aware of what was happening. In the first place, Minseok was giggling, his hand on Luhan's chest, shaking because of the laughter. In the second place, the noises were unmistakable: they were moans and grunts, skin slapping against skin, and heavy breathing that got Luhan's body flaming in embarrassment.

"Th-they are-" Luhan began, astounded.

He was unable to finish the sentence, in part because he didn't want to say the words aloud, and in part because Minseok sunk his face against his ribs and that was, definitely, the oddest fact of them all. Luhan didn't understand why Minseok found the situation so funny, but his amusement was contagious. He felt Minseok’s laughter reverberate against his flesh, and immediately the laughter was bubbling out of his mouth too.

Minseok shifted so that he could reach Luhan’s lips and seal them, still drowning his face against his abdomen, but Minseok’s tiny hand wasn’t enough to stop him. Luhan snickered at the situation as Minseok sat up and tried to shush him, ending with a snort instead.

“How can you laugh at this?” Luhan whispered to him, although the smile on Minseok’s face didn’t deserve to be questioned. “It is your brother, it is disgusting.”

The graired slanted down to answer, breath tickling Luhan’s cheek. “Because they’re fighting all day, but they don’t fight about this kind of thing, huh?”

It was bizarre to talk about them when they were shamelessly having fun in the other room, but Luhan guessed it wasn’t on purpose. Where could they go to have some intimacy, in any case? The room next door was the best they could get.

“Of course they do not fight about this,” Luhan replied with a roll of his eyes. Both of them were accustomed to the darkness, so he wasn’t surprised when he received a soft punch from Minseok for the gesture. “I bet you would not either.”

A tense silence followed, in which the grunts grew louder, and then Minseok blinked at him with an unreadable expression. “What?”

Just then, Luhan realized the inappropiate part of his words. Perhaps it was only his imagination or Minseok’s, but the joke seemed out of place when it was between them.

The heat crept up on Luhan’s cheeks as he stammered. “I was n-not insinuating anything.”

Minseok held his gaze for several seconds more, and then both looked away at the same time, Luhan fixing his stare on the ceiling and Minseok on the floor.

“Didn’t say you were.” The boy slowly slid back to his spot, and despite still being close for the lack of space, it felt like Minseok disappeared from his side.

“Okay,” Luhan simply breathed out.

But it was strange, the ghost of Minseok’s hands and smile pressed against his stomach, an affection that didn’t appear as graceless; and it was strange, how even his laughter was a sound that Luhan wished he could treasure.

Luhan didn't dare stare at Baekhyun's eyes next morning, and if his friend noticed, he didn't comment on it. It wasn't because he had eavesdropped on them having sex - that was inevitable - but because the situation had triggered an odd tension between him and Minseok. Perhaps Luhan was overreacting, but the truth was that Minseok avoided him in an obvious way - like he didn't even mind how Luhan noticed he wasn't comfortable with him.

For the first time since Luhan had arrived at the house, Jongin allowed Minseok to leave with the group instead of staying back as a watcher. He didn't know what Minseok must have told his brother so that he was able to shirk his responsibility, yet he hoped it wasn’t because of last night's conversation.

As a replacement for Minseok, two other boys, apart from Jongdae, kept a vigil him. One of them was Kyungsoo, a small guy that didn't talk much but usually obtained most of the food, and Chanyeol, who had been quite nice to Luhan having into account the bad start they had had.

"They need Minseok today because they're trying to contact the other organization," Chanyeol explained as soon as Luhan sent him a wondering glance. He didn't even have to ask after all, because apparently he was meant to be curious about the change.

"The other organization?" Luhan pressed, interested.

It wasn't a complete mystery to him, as he had found them thanks to the existence of another organization. The guard had thought Luhan was a messenger, and that had happened long ago. If at this point they hadn't succeeded in meeting them even though they had been trying to, it couldn't be anything good. At least, for their interests.

"There're various groups similar to ours," Chanyeol explained as they sat down. Kyungsoo had approached Jongdae, who was especially sick that day, and was attempting to roll him over so that he lay on his side. "There's just a bit of a problem with one of them."

Luhan was versed enough in reading people to catch the implied worry in Chanyeol's words. Perhaps he wasn't supposed to give that type of information, but Luhan felt a shiver running down his spine when he measured the possibilities. This group of graireds were bad enough for Luhan's class, and they weren't even radical.

"What kind of problem are you talking about?" Luhan softly questioned, like he could easily make Chanyeol back away.

A scoff emerging from Kyungsoo prevented them from continuing, drawing their attention towards him. "Tell him, Chanyeol," he challenged his friend, a bitter smile on his face. "Tell him how we're trying to save his class' asses."

Luhan raised a brow, skeptical. "Save us? You must be kidding."

Given that they didn't know each other, Luhan wasn't expecting Kyungsoo, a quiet, calm boy, to snap at him. "We're the best thing that could have happened to you," he spat at Luhan, observing him as if he wished he could actually spit on him. "The other organization doesn't take the long path or the right one. It's easier to create bombs and kill you all, of course, but that's going to mess up with our plans."

The revelation left Luhan speechless, blood sprinting so fast through his veins that he sensed his chest beating to its compass. It didn't matter he was starving, that he was cornered in a house in ruins until the war began and ended; this group of boys and their leaders weren't the real danger, but those organizations that weren't disposed to make politics. The fast, easy way always included death.

Luhan swallowed the lump in his throat, not disposed to cry in front of the graireds. "They have... bombs?"

"Murder is an art of the nature," Kyungsoo responded without missing a blink, and right then, when Kyungsoo spilled a phrase that belonged to the title of one of their Evolution textbooks, Luhan realized Kyungsoo hadn't been born as a graired either. "Even being poor and uncultured, a human always knows how to destroy another human."

Luhan said nothing for a while. His mind wandered towards Junmyeon, who was living alone and oblivious, but who was alive and in a much greater danger than Luhan. It was a ridiculous idea to Luhan, how he was safer between graireds than in his own home and how he didn't have control for his own brother’s safety. Graireds had developed a fixation for the youth of his class, and if they attacked, they would aim for the schools and universities first.

"I want to help," he blurted out, not recognizing the voice that came out from his lips.

Junmyeon's image, the memory of how much he needed to be taken care of, his kindness, his tears when he had found out about Baekhyun's disappearance; they were Luhan's rupture. He wasn't going to allow Junmyeon to die, even if he had to renounce to his principles.

"You what?"

The three boys were staring at him disconcertingly, but it was Jongdae who had spoken first. Probably, because he had been there while Luhan had argued about multiple topics with Minseok, and he knew Luhan didn't support them even after living under their conditions. Just because the graired's win meant his family's downfall, and he wasn't ready to betray them like Baekhyun had done.

"You can't help," Kyungsoo refused, however. He was caressing Jongdae's arm as to calm him down again, yet his pupils shone in suspicion. "We'd have to trust you first. And that's not going to happen."

Luhan stood up then, losing his balance for a second, and Chanyeol mimicked him in, alert in case he tried something stupid. Nevertheless, Luhan just raised his chin up and added, "You do not need any reason besides my brother's life."

"I don't?" Kyungsoo said, the defy tinting his face. "Ask Jongin if you can, and watch yourself get tied again. I will tie you myself if he doesn't."

Arguing with Kyungsoo led him nowhere, and when Jongin and the rest arrived home - rather late - Luhan went directly to tell Jongin about his new posture. All the boys listened to his words, but some of them were already shaking their heads in discontent before he had even finished.

"I won't risk my family," Jongin simply said, and the resolution was final.

Even if Luhan could have insisted, Baekhyun gripped him by the arm and headed to the bedroom, leaving the others behind to get some privacy.

"Don't do that," Baekhyun ordered, and when Luhan gazed right at his eyes, he recognized it was a plea. "They don't want to hear how you're disposed to help just to keep someone from your class alive. That's not our aim."

Luhan was sure he cried that night, although the reality was blurred and he didn't distinguish what was happening around him. The darkness ate them as soon as the fire around the pot extinguished, and the group slept like it was just another night.

However, with Junmyeon's probable death hovering over him, Luhan was unable to relax. He missed home, but overall, he missed having someone to share his concerns, someone who understood and loved him.

He barely noticed Minseok turning around in the middle of the night, drifting towards him in silence as if he knew Luhan was awake.

"Hey," he whispered, and Luhan was pulled out from his inner worries.

"What?"

The silence emerged between them for a moment, the hesitation from Minseok clear and perturbing, and then the graired murmured, "I'm trying my best." Minseok drew himself closer until his knees brushed, and Luhan shivered at the contact. It felt good, although Minseok was bony, and Luhan wished they could interlace their legs together, at least to feel the warm during the night. "Not only for your brother, but-"

"I know," Luhan stopped him in another whisper. "But sitting here while knowing my brother can die any time, that is..."

A sigh fell from Minseok's lips, "What I do everyday with Jongdae. I understand you."

Luhan held his breath back, realizing his mistake and drowning in remorse. A part of him forced him to be sincere with Minseok and tell him that he guessed what was happening to Jongdae, but this moment, this exchange of comprehension felt intimate enough for Luhan to not want to demolish it like that.

"Junmyeon is smart," he said then, almost to himself. "He will be okay."

Relief invaded him out of the blue, for the truth of his own words was undeniable. However, he wasn't aware of what Minseok was doing until he felt his fingers over his cheek, tender and warily caressing down to the line of his jaw. He let out a faint gasp, a choked emotion that made his lips tremble, but Minseok didn't retreat. He pressed his palm completely against his cheek, and Luhan found himself setting his hand on Minseok's, fingers filling the gaps between his. This type of touching was foreign to Luhan, because the reluctance transformed it into something significant, and because Luhan didn't want Minseok to stop.

He trailed Minseok's arm slowly as the boy drove his hand downwards, stroking his neck and his chest in tenderness, but always with a hint of doubt. Luhan didn't know what this was, or why it was happening, yet he let it happen. He moved over the floor, bringing their bodies together, and this way he was able to spot Minseok's face in the darkness. The graired sent a steady gaze back, but the security of his own eyes was all Luhan needed to feel protected, and so he lowered his head down to avoid being intimidated. Much to his surprise, Minseok removed his hand from Luhan's neck and encircled his waist instead, Luhan welcoming his embrace without imagining he could regret this. And nestling against Minseok's chest, warm in the night, alive, moving at the rhythm of a serene breathing, Luhan was amazed to catch the sound of Minseok's heart beating.

It was two days later when Minseok threw a pair of shoes in front of him, ones that resembled his old ones - and probably were - but much more damaged. Luhan stared at them for a moment, and then up at Minseok, who was looking back at him with half of a smile.

"Come on," he demanded, head pointing to the shoes.

Luhan hesitated, not sure of what he was supposed to do. "What?"

"Put them on, we're going out," Minseok said then, and Luhan gasped in excitement. "Baekhyun has this theory about how you need to take fresh air or you will go crazy."

He was already jumping on the shoes and forcing his feet into them before he explained himself, which drew a chuckle from Minseok. Baekhyun was right. He was dying to go outside, even if it was for five minutes or five seconds, given that he had been enclosed in this house for... what, two, three months? He didn't even know, and somehow it was the best to live in ignorance.

"You look like a puppy," Minseok commented all of a sudden.

It was evident he regretted his words as soon as he let them out, for Luhan gazed at him again in shock, excitement dying down. He forgot completely to lace his shoes, but the red tint expanding on Minseok's cheeks was endearing; Luhan felt the heat creeping up on his face too.

Before he could reply, the boy turned around and flew out of the room, fast enough for Luhan to know that he was ashamed, but slow enough not to alarm the rest of the guys. Luhan followed him shortly, delighted by how good it felt to stand in proper shoes instead of bare feet, just to find Baekhyun, Jongin and Kyungsoo waiting for him. Minseok was at the door, fist hitting the lock, as Jongin approached Luhan and gripped him by the wrist.

Luhan allowed him to, but then Jongin encircled his arm with a rope, and he couldn't help but to pull back. "What is that?"

A groan was the first thing he got; the second, fury in Jongin's eyes. "You're going out tied to me, of course, this isn't a pleasure walk."

He wanted to protest, really, but the expressions on both Baekhyun’s and Minseok's faces prevented him from doing so. Jongin would have him under his control or he would stay back, and Luhan was certain of what to choose.

"Okay," Luhan accepted as he offered his wrist again.

Jongin fastened their wrists together and hid the rope with the hems of their shirts. Luhan stuck to him so that it wasn't uncomfortable, but as they went out, he realized it was going to be a hard task unless they held hands. By the time they arrived at the public market, Jongin had taken his hand, and Baekhyun and Minseok were making bad jokes about it, which didn't leave their friend very content.

"Go search for cheap food," Jongin ordered Minseok, probably to get rid of him. Minseok saluted him before mixing with the crowd, and Jongin turned to Kyungsoo. "Keep an eye for the guards."

This mechanic was new for Luhan, who had never seen Jongin in action. Kyungsoo obeyed him too without a single doubt, and soon Luhan was left alone with the couple. Baekhyun perched by his side, distracting him and explaining what the products on sale were while Jongin haggled with the merchants, and Luhan felt at ease faster than he imagined.

"We usually don't buy dead pieces," Baekhyun told him almost in a yell, touching a fish with his index finger, careless at the fact the seller was hearing and seeing him. "Because sometimes they took them already dead and they're bad pieces. Not funny when one of this things can kill you, you know." Then he lowered his voice and added, "They don't even commercialize with antibiotics. Are you ill? Probably dead too."

Within, Luhan was aware that it was meant to make him laugh, but Baekhyun sounded crazy. He had renounced a whole perfect life for Jongin, but the most significantly was that he had put himself at constant risk of dying. A simple cut in his skin could end in an infection, and that was likely to have a fatal outcome.

However, Jongin must have heard him, because he warned, "Baekhyun."

"Love," the boy called back nonchalantly, dismissing him, and Jongin rolled his eyes. Luhan was out of the blue very flustered, but Baekhyun shrugged it off, "Don't like talking about death, here."

It was understandable, in his opinion. When Luhan looked at Jongdae, he also had the sensation that it was wrong to acknowledge his sickness; he didn't want to imagine what would be like to wake up someday and find out that Jongdae had died during the night.

He was about to inspect Jongin's reaction when Kyungsoo appeared running from nowhere, breathless, and almost crashed against them. Jongin became alert in an instant and placed his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders to calm him down.

"Guards everywhere. One..." he started, bending down with a whine. "Caught Mins-"

Jongin didn't wait for him to finish, and he squeezed Luhan's hand as though he needed to unload his frustration. He glanced towards Baekhyun, who remained very still until Jongin told him, "Go home and don't come out."

Baekhyun nodded, worry all over his features, and tip-toed for a kiss. But then he was complying, hurrying back home because the guards would recognize the president's son even after his outer change, and Jongin didn't miss a second to let Kyungsoo guide them through the market.

Luhan heard the cries before anything else, perhaps because the people around it were instilled in absolute silence. The scene, however, was much worse when he seized it.

It was Minseok who was crying, huddled up on the floor as he tried to cover his head and his nape. The guard over him didn't mind his state, and his nightstick crashed against his bones over and over again; each shout of pain just seemed to encourage him, for Minseok twisted his body as though he was able to avoid the hits that way.

There was a yell confined inside Luhan's throat, fighting to come out, and his legs trembled when he tried to walk forward, to help, to battle, to protect. Nevertheless, Jongin held him back, putting himself in the path and obscuring the image behind him. Luhan didn't believe it at first, that Jongin wasn't going to intervene, but the shine on his eyes was proof enough of it. Kyungsoo scurried to block the last bit that Luhan could still catch, as if they were attempting to shield him from the horrors of their class.

"It is your brother!" Luhan whined, indignant. "You c-cannot leave him!"

Jongin didn't falter on his decision, although each cry from Minseok reflected on his face as well. "You'll make it worse," he muttered, blinking to retain the tears. "Much worse."

Worse than it already was? Luhan wanted to ask. Worse than abandoning Minseok until the guard killed him? Worse?

The hits didn't come to a halt until Minseok was quiet, sprawled on the ground as though he couldn't move either way. Jongin didn't allow Luhan to approach him, and only when the guard had disappeared, after kicking Minseok in the head and making sure he didn't move, Jongin turned around and sprinted towards his brother.

Luhan imitated him, not that he had an option while being tied, knees scraping over the ground, and he stopped Jongin as directly tried to lift Minseok. "Do not, you could hurt him more," he advised, astounded with his own self-control.

Regardless of his tone, his hands trembled as he touched Minseok, and the look Jongin flashed in his direction almost intimidated him. Luhan ignored him and brushed Minseok's hair out of his face to check if he was still conscious; after the beating he had received, Luhan wished he was, but his eyes gazed right back at him, wet and red and making Luhan think that this was the most terrible thing he had ever seen.

"Do you think you have anything broken?" Luhan whispered to him, somewhat afraid his voice would hurt him too.

Minseok was unfocused, as if the pain was too much for him to contemplate the answer. Luhan let him wait a short time, passing his fingers over his hair even though he probably didn't sense them, and the boy finally murmured a soft, "No."

That was all Luhan needed to crack his neck and demand, "Untie me."

Much to his disbelief, Jongin acceded right away, although he would have had to do it unless he intended for Kyungsoo to carry Minseok all the way home. And to be honest, Luhan had the opportunity to run away right then, with Jongin too occupied and tormented by his brother's state, but the thought didn't even cross his mind. Instead, he carried Minseok on his back, weak legs and arms anchoring around his body.

Baekhyun was horrified when they appeared at home with Minseok half-dead, blood over both his clothes and Luhan's. The first thing he did was to shout out of frustration, loud enough to harm himself, until Jongin caught him by the waist and conducted him to the bedroom. The rest of the boys fell in a deep silence as Luhan settled Minseok on the floor, all of a sudden self-conscious of how much he was shaking too.

“What do we do?” Kyungsoo piped up, kneeling by his side.

In all honesty, Luhan was disoriented. He could remember nothing except he needed material to attend Minseok and that he shouldn’t touch his wounds when his dirty hands. He was going to get an infection either way, but Luhan didn’t want to be responsible for it.

“I don’t know,” Luhan said at last.

Kyungsoo punched him in the ribs and Luhan yelped, moving away so that the boy couldn’t reach him again. “You’re a doctor!”

“I’m a student!”

“Enough,” Jongin cut them off, coming back although Baekhyun’s sobs were still heard from that distance. “We follow the protocol.”

Luhan wasn’t sure if the information would be pleasant, but he still continued, “What’s the protocol?”

“He rests and cures by himself,” Jongin answered, aloof, avoiding to glance at the lump his brother was. “We give him more food and water. You can wash his wounds with water, right?”

“Only with water is…”

“Do it.”

That's what Luhan did. He took care of Minseok because it was a skill he had developed through the years, and also because it was the best he could do while being clamped in the house. He didn't get a word from Minseok for two whole days, neither did his brothers nor Baekhyun with his babying attitude. Minseok relied on the state of his body to remain isolated. In fact, he seemed furious every time Luhan helped to clean his wounds, trembling hands around the water bottle, but he remained still in resignation.

Luhan didn't need him to talk either way, it was just that Jongdae and Kyungsoo weren't the most cheerful company, and somewhere inside Luhan there was a voice complaining about how Minseok's attacks and moral lessons were much better. Someone to fight with, someone who kept him alive and burning.

So, when Minseok opened his mouth with words instead of groans, Luhan’s whole body relaxed in relief.

“You’re shit scared.”

Luhan didn’t understand how Minseok managed to sound that way while being dispirited, with a spark of mocking, with the tone that said Luhan, you’re laughable. This was how Minseok told him he was over everything and everyone, no matter how debilitated his body was.

“I’m shit scared?” Luhan repeated, turning to glance at Minseok huddling in his sheets. He barely noticed how he had shortened his own words, because then his gaze dropped on Minseok’s swollen lips and he forgot what they were talking about.

“Of me dying,” Minseok continued, and his lips stretched into a teasing smile. “Which is pretty funny if we consider you threatened me the first time we met.”

“The second one, actually.”

“Whatever.”

But no, that was important for Luhan. “The first time I let you go without a punishment,” he insisted. He forced himself to stare up at Minseok’s eyes instead of his lips, although it was too late to hide his desire. Locking eyes with Minseok for a moment, he caught in him, pupils that traveled down to inspect his lips too, and the revelation hit him right in the gut. “But Baekhyun wouldn’t have allowed me to give you a punishment, so…”

Before Luhan could react, Minseok was using his hands to sit up, back arching in pain at the attempt. He immediately approached him and held him down so that he didn’t move, and his hands lingered on Minseok more than necessary.

“What are you trying to do?” Luhan lectured him.

Much to his surprise, a chuckle bubbled out from Minseok. “Giving you a chance to put your hands on me.”

As if he had burnt himself, Luhan withdrew, but Minseok simply rested on his back with a satisfied smirk. Luhan didn’t like being a show, and that was all he was for Minseok: the upper class boy whom he could toy with.

In all his maliciousness, Luhan glared at Minseok and spat, “What would your brothers think of that?”

Mentioning his family was supposed to make Minseok shut himself up, as a reminder of where Luhan belonged to. He wasn’t counting on Minseok’s sharp, shameless tongue, “One of my brothers is fucking the president’s son, I don’t think he has any right to say anything.“

Luhan was mortified at the mention of the couple, and that was nothing compared to the shame when Minseok stopped the teasing, smile fading away to give space to an interested expression. Luhan said nothing, tried to hide his own embarrassment, but Minseok was fast. “Are you blushing at ‘fucking’, really?”

“You are vulgar,” Luhan muttered as an excuse. He never heard people talk like this, except in movies with cursing involved. Graireds, on the other hand, seemed to have embraced certain words that were forbidden for Luhan - at least to guarantee his comfort.

“ You are vulgar,” Minseok mimicked him, and then laughed so hard that he ended with a cry of pain, grimacing at the cut that opened once again on his cheek.

Without hesitation, Luhan hurried to attend him, pulling one of the clean sheets and pressing it against his face. Minseok hissed, closing his eyes in pain, and searched for Luhan’s thigh to have something to grip. Luhan wasn’t surprised, because Minseok preferred to sink his nails into Luhan’s flesh than letting out more sounds of pain; probably he didn’t want to alarm Jongdae, who was with Kyungsoo preparing the only lunch of the day.

Sometimes, Luhan was rather innocent. He blushed because of Minseok’s crudeness and because of the sounds of a couple having sex, even though he wasn’t oblivious to sex. He had had experiences before, but the pleasure had been the only thing he had felt; there hadn’t been words before or after, as that was a topic his class didn’t discuss ever, just darkness, contact against another body and heavy breathing. It had been simple, without extra touches or kisses, sex that maybe lacked passion, but Luhan hadn’t been conscious of it.

At least, until Minseok took advantage of his grip and stroked Luhan’s inner thigh, groping without opening his eyes. Or until he went further, his hand falling between his legs to palm him through his clothes, and something within Luhan throbbed in defeat.

Part 3