Aerodynamic (5/5)

[berryboys]

To be honest with himself, Jongin is nervous. He sits across Minseok during dinner, and while their friends act like it’s just another night, Jongin senses a lump tingling inside him. Minseok steals glances from him, lips sometimes quirking into a knowing smile, and Jongin tries to control himself by focusing on eating. Under such a predatory stare, goosebumps inevitably tour over his skin, flushed cheeks, legs pressed against each other.

Minseok leaves first, and the moment he’s gone, far enough for his wolf ears not to hear their conversation, Kyungsoo strikes Jongin with a, “What are you even wearing the uniform for?”

Because it’s mandatory, of course, but after a moment of confusion, Jongin knows that Kyungsoo isn’t referring to that. He’s leering at him, mouth about to break into laughter, and Jongin is overwhelmed enough to still blush.

“Don’t say anything.”

“He’s going to rip it from you,” Kyungsoo comments either way, making Luhan burst into laughter next to him.

“Okay, I’m just going to- “ Jongin decides, standing up. He needs to breathe his anxiety out, and not in front of Kyungsoo or Luhan; he needs to calm down before facing Minseok, or he will spend the whole night acting like they haven’t even kissed. They’re no strangers to each other - all the contrary - but for some reason Jongin is experiencing a new type of timidity, “-just get away from you two.”

Outside the buildings, several groups of people are organized in circles; most of them come out to smoke, but some are just hanging out. Jongin spots Minseok among one of them, and he stares so intently that Minseok turns to look his way to discover who is triggering his instinct. He isn’t a bit surprised it’s Jongin, and he stares back, raised brow, passing a hand through parted hair.

Minseok wants him to approach him first. It wouldn’t be a huge issue if he was chatting with regular soldiers, but he isn’t. A superficial glance and Jongin realizes they’re all generals and higher ranks, and that interrupting the conversation is going to throw all the attention to him. That’s what Minseok intends, Jongin is sure. Only a mate would dare to reach for him right now, to demand that they should be having their time alone, and Minseok shouldn’t be talking to his colleagues.

Jongin is kind of terrified. The amount of dominant energy that the group emits is overpowering, and even with that, his feet move on his own towards them. No one notices his presence except Minseok, who has been watching him all the time anyway, so when the alpha doesn’t give any signal of introducing him, Jongin collects the courage to greet him.

“Minseok,” he shyly calls.

Whether it’s because interrupting is rude, or because an omega’s voice will always make alphas turn around, several pairs of eyes fall upon him. Intimidated, he seeks Minseok’s support, even if it’s just a simple word to make him feel better. And Minseok reads him well, maybe too much, conceding a sweet smile before fixing an arm around his waist; the contact shoots security in him, and Jongin discreetly leans against it.

“Your mate?” one of the alphas asks, attention shifting from Jongin to Minseok. He recognizes him: he’s the General of the marines, wolves that are able to endure impressive amounts of time underwater.

Jongin has never seen Minseok in this light. He’s smiling, but it’s not the type that Jongin usually receives; this one is peculiar, and it has both a ferocity and pride that agitate his insides. Minseok is presenting him without secrecy, even though relationships in the same department are frowned upon. He’s putting himself on the line, granting the opportunity to be accused of favoring his mate as soon as he takes the wrong step.

“What do you think?” Minseok retorts, which obtains a couple of laughs, while the other general bats his hand to dismiss him, pretending to be annoyed. “So, if you excuse us.”

The relief is evident as they distance themselves from the group. Minseok doesn’t release him though, heading the way through the dark roads that lead to the forest. They’re under the dim light of a lamppost when Jongin finally lets his nerves go.

“That was horrible,” he protests.

With a curt nod, Minseok answers a mere, “I know. But necessary.”

The good thing about the forest is that, although it’s in complete darkness except for the moon, they’re so familiar with it that they don’t need light. While they penetrate through the trees, avoiding some clearings that are already occupied, Jongin feels at ease padding in silence with his mate. Minseok lets him go first, refusing to walk by his side, and Jongin finds it weird at first, until he catches the playful smile on the alpha’s face.

Stopping on his tracks, he punches Minseok in the arm, yet he laughs instead of complaining.

“Are you going to start hitting me so soon?” he questions as Jongin spins and starts walking again.

Though Minseok rushes to mime his pace, once Jongin is close enough, he grasps him by the hem of his pants. His uniform is loose because he has lost a lot of weight recently, so Minseok can fist the back of it, dragging him back, almost making him trip with his own feet. Anyhow, Minseok limits himself to place a kiss on his nape, and then frees him with a sigh.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jongin retorts, pretending he’s not breathless. He concentrates on the road ahead, not in the warmth of the kiss, but they’re so deep into the forest that it’s barely visible. “I’m bound to hit you after a specific number of days?”

Minseok doesn’t respond to him, just granting a mysterious smile when Jongin briefly turns to glance at him. It’s well known that one becomes prey in the moment that they show their backs to a predator, and the shiver that travels up his spine warns that Jongin has just labeled himself as, indeed, prey. This time, Minseok aggressively fists the hem of his pants and pulls him back, one hand pressing his stomach. And this time, it’s not a kiss. There are lips and teeth that force Jongin to tilt his head to one side and back, resting on Minseok’s shoulder, offering his neck with a whine. And he thinks that being the prey isn’t so bad, that the bruises that Minseok is leaving on him hurt really good, no matter how fast they will cure for not being claiming marks. But just a few seconds later, Minseok concludes with a peck under his ear, breath quickening as if he’s trying not to laugh.

“This is why you’re going to hit me a lot,” he whispers, offensively sober. “Because it’s hard not to have my hands on you all the time.”

Then, Minseok pushes him forward, and Jongin stumbles until he recovers his balance. He's befuddled by the effect of the alpha's touches on him, and it takes a considerable effort to control his arousal and seize reality again. Minseok isn't following him anymore though. And when he observes him with wondering eyes, he gets the answer without need for words.

Minseok flashes a smirk. "Not wolf form, that's cheating."

"Because you would never trap me?" Jongin replies, even if he steps back for good measure. Minseok hasn't moved an inch, but he's inclined forward, ready to hunt him down, and Jongin doesn't miss even the tiniest motion.

The alpha roams his eyes over Jongin's figure in a clear attempt to warn him. One second, they seem to announce. One second and the hunt will begin. "I would always trap you."

Jongin doesn't react in time. His heels detach from the ground, and he advances comfortably the first few seconds, yet he's underestimating Minseok's hunger. The capture isn't soft at all. Minseok shoves him against a tree, cheek against the wooden, body constrained between the trunk and the alpha's body, and despite the strength he has been treated with, Jongin can't conceal a weak moan. Minseok is holding him with just his hips, tense arms grasping the tree, and ardor radiates between Jongin's legs just with the image of Minseok's muscles and veins pulsing. He would allow himself to be taken here, without the preliminary game, against the tree if Minseok liked it that way.

"Run faster," the alpha grunts behind him. He moves his hips forward, a slow, intruding movement that makes Jongin feel what's under his pants. Minseok knows it perfectly, so he's not fazed when Jongin whines a bit, searching for contact. "Or I'll eat you whole."

The opportunity to escape surfaces again, Minseok recoiling so that he takes his own decision. And Jongin could renounce being the prey, but the adrenaline is invading all his logic. He moves away from the tree, panting, remembering that he is faster than Minseok and that, if he has been caught, it's because a part of him yearned it.

Jongin grins. Minseok wants to play chase and run, and the omega loves playing.

Nevertheless, it's a matter of minutes. Jongin does his best, but it's obvious Minseok is condescending to him: a couple of times he just sinks his teeth and permits Jongin to keep running, even if the omega hardly recovers for the sudden attack, intoxicated moves while running. But each bite drowns Jongin into his wildest side, and each bite reminds him he needs to be knotted, owned without prejudices and, the next time Jongin tries to get up, knees on the grass, he's incapable of doing it.

As if he's aware Jongin has given up, Minseok doesn't charge against him with the same brutality than before. He still lands on him though, obliging him to lay on the grass with his face down. And Jongin complies, speechless, heart beating in excitement.

"You've been so good," Minseok coos at him, voice loaded with new emotions.

Jongin isn't ashamed of whimpering at the compliment; he's delighted to receive it. Minseok strokes his back slowly, shifting his weight so that Jongin has the chance to move if he wants to. He doesn't. He’s immersed in the sensation of Minseok touching him, determined fingers that crush the muscles of his back and that explore down to his cheeks, to his thighs, to his calves. There are too many clothes: Jongin craves to have the familiar touches on his bare skin, and Minseok loves that too. He loves sleeping with his hands under Jongin's shirt, and that's exactly what he decides right now, a hand that slips under the uniform.

"Do I strip you or do you?" he groans, twitching like the contact has burnt him.

As a response, Jongin rolls around to stare at his mate's eyes. His lips are of a intense red, his pupils as big and black as they have ever been. He doesn't have the top of the uniform anymore, and Jongin isn't sure when he got rid of it, but his body is hypnotizing. Minseok is more sculpted than most alphas, hard and marked muscles; but the thing Jongin loves the most, the part of his body that wets him immediately is the way his hips protrude before disappearing under his pants. It's where his eyes are always attracted to, which doesn't fail to draw a satisfied smile from Minseok.

"Strip me," Jongin decides in the end, conscious that if he does it, he's going to have serious problems not making a fool of himself.

However, Minseok climbs over him for a kiss. There isn't anything introductory when their lips meet, a warm exchange that, despite having been repeated a thousand times, it still affects them like the first time. The way Minseok knows how much Jongin loves being kissed and where he has to suck to gain a few moans as a reward, is almost scary; it shoves Jongin into a whirlwind of pleasure, unconsciousness while Minseok splits his uniform, broken buttons, nor does he realize he's completely naked until Minseok is on top of him too.

Impatient, he can't help but to grip Minseok's shoulder blades as he settles on him, the alpha panting as though he needs to caress Jongin to breathe. Minseok isn't shy, however: he rubs their bodies together, erections confined between their stomachs, and Jongin faintly gasps at the contact. Minseok's cock feels hard and heavy on his body, and the muscles of his legs urge him to spread, to tempt his alpha and make his composure fade away. The level of his arousal is impossible to hide, and when Minseok moves to create friction, the leg that is between Jongin's gets tainted with the fluid of his inner thighs.

"You're so fucking wet, I-" Minseok blabbers, choking on his own words.

Jongin watches the change on his face, the trip from desire to complete madness, and then he's being bitten on the neck with so much vigor that he becomes rigid. Vision blurred, he's just conscious of the little energy he has to make any sound, as though Minseok is absorbing it from him: a sigh escapes from his lips, one that's very similar to his mate’s name, and then there isn't any more pain.

There is something new when the pain dissipates, Minseok licking the wound without thinking twice; and this is the first time both of them are being tied to a mate this way, but the intuition of what Minseok must do is within them, guiding.

It's a second of peace, a shared kiss that is slower, unique, before Minseok is grasping him by the hips, rushing to follow his wishes, while Jongin only is able to process the alpha's cock, standing hard. Minseok manhandles him until he's on his knees and elbows once again, in a position that offers him up, ass ready and legs apart, subjugated to whatever Minseok wants to do with him.

The moment Minseok touches him, hands leaning on his cheeks, Jongin's legs tremble in anticipation. There's a burning sensation all over his skin, one that concentrates in his entrance, and Jongin is disposed to beg for Minseok to alleviate it. He knows how good a knot would be.

"Hold up, love," the alpha tries to relax him, softly stroking from his ass to his testicles. His voice breaks though, because Minseok has it difficult too, because if Jongin hasn't been knotted in a long time, Minseok hasn't knotted anyone either during that time. "You have to take it well, yeah?"

Jongin is conscious that his vocal cords won't form any word, so he just hums in response, separates his knees a bit more. Minseok groans behind him, and as he removes one of his hands to grip his own cock, Jongin catches the way the other shakes.

Minseok's dick finds his entrance, but it barely fits. Only the pressure of the head against Jongin's rim shoots a shiver all through his body, and he slants backwards to force it inside him. Minseok gasps at the sudden move, cock engulfed, and if he intended go easy on Jongin, he doesn't remember that anymore. The next thing Jongin knows, he is being shoved down, knees sliding apart until his cock touches the ground. Minseok thrusts the rest of the way inside him, forehead against the omega’s back, cock tortuously stretching him.

“Shit,” Minseok curses, suppressing a groan against his skin.

Jongin understands what’s so unexpected. Apart from the alpha’s fingers, nothing has slid inside him in a long time: he’s tight, and just like his walls that envelop Minseok in firm heat, Minseok’s dick feels like it wouldn’t be able to go further, unable to move except to come out. Minseok connects his hips with him before going back, a still small knot barely grazing against him, but he’s already shuddering because of it.

“I can take it,” Jongin breathes out, almost protests, fearing that Minseok will recoil.

He doesn’t though, yet he straightens himself up. Minseok keeps the tip in place, and then he holds his cheeks apart, trying to facilitate the motion; his pace is painfully slow, as if he’s containing himself from mounting Jongin like he really wants to. However, the omega clenches under him, and when the heavy breathing starts converting into pleading moans, Minseok grips him out of frustration.

For a moment, Jongin is disconcerted, but it’s the calm before the storm. He receives a stroke, hard, long, and in the right angle to undo all his nerves, Minseok’s cock pulsing inside him. The cry that falls from his lips is beyond desperate, and he hates that it’s Minseok setting the rhythm, even when he leaves the torturing wait aside. He tries to maintain himself spread as Minseok fucks him from behind, harsh shoves that become erratic bit by a bit; and Jongin would think Minseok is about to come, but he isn’t, because the knot is bigger every time it clashes against his entrance, but not as big as Jongin has made it before.

The fleeting thought about Minseok’s knot is, surprisingly, what drives him to completion, out of the blue. He collapses on the grass, unable to see anything but white, though his head is filled with dozen of panicking thoughts. He’s perplexed of having finished so early, just with Minseok’s dick, just in the moment the alpha has sped up a bit.

“Good boy,” Minseok mutters, however, although he sounds as puzzled as Jongin is.

While Minseok attempts to turn him around, Jongin’s face burns in embarrassment, cock going soft between his legs by the time he’s on his back. He observes Minseok’s face, parted lips and dark eyes, but overall, he spots how hard he still is, swollen and flushed length.

“Sor-“ Jongin begins with a whine, regretful.

“You were liking it that much, huh?” Minseok questions him, and even though it could be a joke, there’s severity in his gesture. He encloses Jongin’s ankles, hauling an unexpected gasp from him, and then lifts and opens them against Jongin’s chest. He is flexible enough to keep the position, so as Minseok tugs at his own cock, knot following the motion, Jongin holds his thighs spread. Then Minseok strokes the cleft of his ass with his slick cock, teasing, driving him to clench around nothing once more. “I will make you come again.”

Minseok doesn’t wait for the approval: Jongin’s dick jerks, even though it’s still small and soft, and that is enough of a response. Supporting himself on both sides of Jongin’s waist, he smoothly thrusts into him, but the sensation is way different than before. Like this, Jongin is able to watch him, the way he closes his eyes, the way he bites his lower lip, stifling some of the grunts, though others emerge either way, guttural and low; the way that, when he manages to open his eyes, Minseok stares at him through strands of messy hair. Jongin isn’t so conscious himself, over-sensitive, moans that answer every little movement inside of him. And he feels like he could come again, without rest, cock hardening every time Minseok’s cock brushes the right spot.

“Kiss me,” Jongin pants all of a sudden, thinking that Minseok’s lips are just as swollen as his dick.

And Minseok complies, bending until the omega is trapping his lips and pulling, searching for his tongue, and when that’s not enough, sowing bites all over his jaw. It’s that that really affects Minseok, mouth against mouth, and the next time he thrusts deep, Jongin senses his knot expanding.

It’s a moment in which Jongin panics, because Minseok is supposed to knot him, but it’s so big by now that it will be impossible. Which is not fair, when that’s all Jongin needs, when this doesn’t mean anything unless Minseok is determined enough to knot him.

“Minseok,” he begs, breaking the kiss in a hurry. “Knot me, fuck. Please, knot me, kn-“

He shuts up once he finds Minseok’s stare, entranced pupils that seems to dilate with Jongin’s begging. And although the pleasure and the arousal are present on his face, Jongin catches the brief second of amusement, a smirk that dies before being born.

“Knot you?” Minseok asks, rasping voice. He leaves a kiss on the corner of the omega’s lips, as though they have all the time in the world, and his knot grows bigger and bigger, urgent moans emerging from Jongin. “I’m going to fuck you with it first.”

That’s impossible, Jongin wishes he could say. But Minseok is sitting up, arms surrounding Jongin’s thighs, and the moment he rams his hips forward, he knows there is no option. He does it slowly, watching how Jongin swallows his knot little by little, head thrown back in a stuttering cry. Jongin has never been stretched so much, not like this, not until the point of feeling like he’s unable to take it, but the intensity of this pleasure has always been foreign to him.

Minseok stops mid-way, though, and Jongin’s words are out before he’s aware of them. “Don’t take the knot out. No,” he pleads, so hoarse that it feels like he’s just growling. “Minseok.”

As if he’s being challenged, the alpha pulls out completely; Jongin gasps at the sensation of emptiness, searching for a bit of mercy, dying to be filled again. Minseok releases a breathy laugh, but there’s nothing humorous about it, and then shoves himself completely into him, cock and knot in a single thrust.

Harmonized moans, Jongin’s body finally clasps around him, not letting go, shooting white on his own stomach for the second time. Minseok’s head falls on the crook of his neck with a grunt, and he follows seconds later, knot dilating and tensing up within. His legs fail, so he breakdowns on Jongin, unable to move out anyway because of the knot.

“Told you I needed your knot,” Jongin murmurs, right before Minseok starts licking the claiming mark on his neck.

Tonight, they decide not to return to the dorms. They lay on the grass, fool around for a while and talk in whispers, even though no one could hear them anyhow. Jongin ends up sitting on Minseok's abdomen, smiling as the alpha rests his hands on his thighs.

Jongin doesn't feel ashamed about it, because wolves are used to seeing and touching this way, and because Minseok has already caressed every inch of him. This time is different though, not mere, innocent nakedness, but he's so safe with Minseok, so comfortable, so eager that the thought doesn't even cross his mind.

Minseok's hands trace the way up to Jongin's hips, and the omega teases, breathless, “I thought we weren't going to bring personal issues to our job.”

Under him, Minseok's body automatically shakes with laughter for the joke. He sits up, enclosing Jongin’s waist with one arm, the other softly grasping the back of his head. Jongin presses against the contact, exposing his neck in the process, and Minseok caresses him there, his little nose enjoying Jongin's scent. It feels even more intimate than a kiss, to be in his arms and to his will, finally letting him discover a state of real peace.

“What would you have done if I had renounced the army?” Jongin asks out of the blue, strained voice as Minseok plants his lips right where his throat beats. “If I had left?”

Minseok's mouth stretches into a smile, as though he has been anticipating that question, but he pretends to be thoughtful. “I would have let you go.”

It hits Jongin in the guts, in a bad way. That isn't what he's expecting, an answer that would make him worthless, replaceable. “That easy? That simple?”

The worry of his tone is evident, and perhaps that’s why Minseok’s fingers stroke his cheeks, guiding his face until they’re staring into each other’s eyes. “No one deserves a relationship like that, Jongin. We're mated to the army first. We would have seen each other once, twice a month, and I would never put you through that.”

Jongin parts his lips, exhaling a breath, willingly leaning towards Minseok’s mouth. They meet halfway, and they have done this enough times in the last few months for Jongin to remember that he shouldn't doubt Minseok. That Minseok loves him.

There's a smile on the man's lips again, one that Jongin corresponds. However, that doesn't last. Something vibrates in the air, far away, and even with their canine ears, they can't distinguish what is approaching. And then it moves closer, faster, and both Jongin and Minseok jerk up at the sound: it's not a howl, it's a dozen of them, and it’s a disaster call.

This time, whatever it is that has happened, it doesn't affect only one department. It's not about the air force, or the ground force, or the marines: they have been all summoned, and not to work. When Minseok and Jongin emerge from the forest, the scene is bloodcurdling, soldiers set in lines while their superiors frisk them. They're being interrogated too, stripped down of their clothes until one of the supervisors permits them to cover themselves again, but they're forced to stay in the same place anyway.

Jongin isn't sure why Minseok doesn't enter into his General mood. The alpha interlaces their fingers together, squeezes Jongin's hand into his, and then guides him back into the forest. Jongin isn't sure what's happening, but it's evident Minseok has a bad hunch, or that he tries to avoid his mate getting naked, mistreated like the rest of the soldiers. Either if it's his rational mind or his instinct taking the decision, Jongin trusts him.

"Stay here until I know what this is about," Minseok asks him, even if there's no place for disobeying him. He hesitates for a second, as if he doesn't really want to leave him behind. "This has happened before."

And then he's gone, running until disappearing from Jongin's view. Alone, he shrinks back among the trees, in the shield of the darkness. The noises coming from the bases aren't soothing, and it's the first time Jongin is actually scared, since the problems aren't external. There are security issues within the military, even though they're supposed to be there to defend the rest of the pack: they are unable to even protect themselves.

Minutes later, Minseok's figure is a silhouette against the light coming from the base, and Jongin steps out of his hiding place, anxious. A glimpse of the alpha's face is enough of a warning, and his façade is not only of worry, it's mostly of fear.

When Minseok cups his face between his hands, the way they tremble just frightens Jongin further.

"Go to my room, now," he mutters, eyes shining in nervousness. He strokes his cheek with his thumb, but that doesn't provoke anything positive in Jongin. "Don't talk to anyone. Don't stop if you're being called. Just go to my room and wait until Kyungsoo or I get there."

Those are odd orders, and having into account how everyone is being registered, probably illegal too. And even though Minseok wouldn't do anything detrimental for him, he's human, and he makes mistakes too.

"But-"

"Jongin, please," Minseok insists, a hint of agony at Jongin's hesitation. "Do it for me."

There is no chance for him to refuse now, no intentions of making Minseok believe that they can't count on each other, so Jongin nods. That's all Minseok needs to run off, and the sudden solitude pushes Jongin to move.

He crosses the fields through the darkest zones, trying not to be observed by the multiple lines of soldiers so that he doesn't trigger anyone's response of danger. And he's lucky, because the superior ranks are too occupied, too worried about examining the soldiers as though they are all proved criminals; and he's fortunate of having Minseok, because when he reaches the building, the only guard watching the door allows him to pass without questions. Jongin doesn't know if Minseok has told him so, but he fears how much the system works this way: friends owing favors to each other.

Minseok's room is in complete stillness, given that there's no one else in the entire building. Jongin curls up alone in the bed, heart beating fast, wondering what he could have possibly done wrong for Minseok to keep him apart from the registration. He leans his head on the pillow and laments how easily the army shatters his best memories, how he’s never really had a moment of normality with Minseok, forever interrupted, as if fate tried to tell him that Minseok belongs to the army, not to him.

Jongin knows that's true. Jongin himself belongs to the institution as well. And flying is a dream turned into reality, barriers vanishing thanks to brains like Kyungsoo's, but Jongin thinks it's not the kind of life to live forever. Sometimes, he regrets it. Sometimes, he's certain Minseok deserves better, that he himself does too, being free to develop themselves outside of here instead of being a piece of a coordinated puzzle.

Among concerns, bitterness, and a stabbing ache in his chest, Jongin manages to fall asleep somehow.

It's not morning when the door creaks open. It's not Minseok who steps in either, but Jongin has been expecting the bad news for hours, going in and out of sleep all the time, and he doesn't care. Therefore, when he recognizes Kyungsoo, even before he turns on the light, the feeling of relief drowns him.

That is until he inspects his friend's face. He has red eyes from crying, lips swelled and dry, and the dark circles don't show lack of sleep, but tiredness from suffering.

"Kyungsoo?" he dares risking, afraid that the other is going to have a breakdown in a matter of seconds.

However, even if he's wrecked, Kyungsoo controls his emotions enough to not collapse in front of Jongin. It's strange though, watching someone who usually has a sneer or a smile on his lips, in this state.

At last, he greets with a murmur. "Jongin."

Slowly, he kicks off his shoes, not waiting for the invitation to join the omega in the bed. There is no protest, but all the contrary. Jongin welcomes him in a hug, and even though Kyungsoo is unable to give explanations right now, he's aware Jongin is dying for them. Still, he doesn't force the words out of his mouth, and right when he thinks Kyungsoo is enraptured in slumber, he obtains the story.

"It's my fault," he confesses, the fluttering of his eyelashes brushing against Jongin's clothes. "I talked to you all about our bombs. But I couldn't know... I-how could I imagine Yifan would do this?"

Jongin's blood freezes, pulse paralyzed, "What?"

"He found the other pack," Kyungsoo continues in a sob. "He looked for them, carrying four bombs in the plane, and then he didn't hesitate to throw them."

It's a nightmare, is the first thought that invades Jongin's reason, or that Kyungsoo has surpassed the ethical limit with one of his jokes. But those are ridiculous excuses. Yifan had a motive to attack his own, one that only Jongin knows about. And it's like someone is pointing a weapon at him right now, accusing him that he has been a fool, that people have died because he didn't react in time. That Yifan was suffering, accumulating hatred, and that he wasn't able to vent it on anyone. That Jongin should have told, even if Yifan was going to get mad at him.

And Kyungsoo is crying because of what Yifan has done, undoubtedly, but it's even graver than that. The pack had some pilots as hostages, and if the bigger wolves are dead, so are they. That's a thought that brings memories to Jongin, words that Yifan told him one of those nights spent in the infirmary: And the others... the omega... we promised each other that if one managed to get away, we would kill the other. Some of the pilots didn't have any intention to live after what the pack did to us, even if we were rescued, even if we...

"He escaped," Kyungsoo wails against his chest. "Knowing he would be exiled, guilty, he exiled himself."

On the verge of crying, Jongin nods in the hug. Kyungsoo's body is tiny in his arms, and he feels so small himself. Yifan did what he thought it was correct, he knew how the pack was, how much damage they could have brought to them; and it hurts, because no one except Jongin will understand, because Yifan's origin is his secret, and Jongin promised to keep that one.

There is no use in betraying him now, either way. He caresses Kyungsoo's hair, unsure of what to say, almost sure he shouldn't utter a single word right now. Kyungsoo needs time, needs peace, and Jongin wishes to grant it even if he's a tornado within. He yearns to have Minseok by his side in this moment, but that's just a selfish desire, for Jongin has always been a bit self-centered - and aware of it.

"-something more..." Kyungsoo is susurrating when Jongin is cruelly yanked into reality. "I'm sorry, Jongin. Yifan... h-he took your plane. He probably didn't think that w-would be harmful for you."

A gasp expires in Jongin's mouth. "He did what?"

"You'll be under investigation soon." Kyungsoo's hands are fisted against Jongin's back, voice cracking on the edge of crying. "For conspiracy."

“I’m not going to allow it.”

It’s three o’clock in the morning, and the first time Jongin is out of Minseok’s bedroom in three days, even if it’s just to sit in Baekhyun’s building gate. There are at least ten guards escorting Jongin that always follow him everywhere he goes. Anyhow, Jongin would never be alone, because Minseok is with him all the time, irresponsibly ignoring his duties. He says there are soldiers that blindly believe he’s implicated in what Yifan did: they are friends, passed a lot of time alone, and it wouldn’t be weird for an omega to agree with the murder of a pack full of alphas and betas. Although Minseok doesn’t express it out loud, he’s fearing someone will take justice into their own hands.

At Minseok’s statement, Baekhyun has his arms crossed over his chest, hardened gesture. “This is not… something you can control,” he concludes, briefly glancing at Jongin. “It’s not your decision. They have to punish him someway because they will lose credit otherwise.”

“But I didn’t-“ Jongin starts with a pang in his chest. He’s conscious that no one outside of his circle of friends will ever have faith in him, that everyone will avoid working with him even if he’s declared innocent.

Baekhyun cuts in too fast, “I know you didn’t.”

Jongin has to admit it’s odd for the three of them to be together, especially when they’re all aware of the internal issues they’ve had. At least if Minseok didn’t know Baekhyun and him fought, Jongin would be more comfortable. But that’s the least of their worries now.

“You’re in deep trouble,” Baekhyun explains further. Although Minseok hasn’t said a word, it’s obvious he has asked Baekhyun to pry around, discuss with people on the council, discover what they are up to. “You will be exiled if found guilty. And since Yifan isn’t here, they need someone to blame. That’s the thing. You have no way of defending yourself, it’s your word against facts, against law.”

That’s no surprise to him, yet that doesn’t mean it hurts less. Facing exile is the worst Jongin could go through; it’s a whole life left behind, changed to wander around alone until he runs into another pack. None of the civilized, developed packs would accept someone who is considered a traitor and the accomplice to mass murder; the rest of the packs may be dangerous. And that’s not what has Jongin about to burst, thinking that he would rather be dead than being exiled: it’s Minseok.

Exile means that Minseok would be left behind, and Jongin knows they’re thinking the same, because the alpha has his face sunk in his hands, not paying attention to Baekhyun anymore. Jongin would reach for him, but the mere thought of touching him shoots a wave of distress through him.

Baekhyun releases a stammering sigh, eyes traveling from his friend to Jongin. There is a glint on his eyes that Jongin is very familiar with, for it’s the way he feels right now, lost and miserable and frustrated. He doesn’t understand why that is reflecting on Baekhyun. He should be ecstatic, because getting rid of Jongin was what he yearned for, what would give all of Minseok back to him.

“I heard your conversation with Yifan that night,” Baekhyun confesses then, stare fixed on Jongin. That provokes Minseok’s reaction, for he ignores what this is about. Jongin hasn’t revealed anything to anyone, and that includes the hopeless attempt to console Yifan. He guesses that hatred and jealousy are enough reasons for Baekhyun to spy on him, even though their good hearing isn’t supposed to be utilized to discover dirty stuff about others. “I will testify on your favor.”

Dumbstruck, Jongin just opens his mouth, full of words that don’t come out. Minseok encircles his waist, dragging him closer, and this shouldn’t be done in front of Baekhyun, but that probably won’t change such a difficult decision.

“You know why Yifan did it,” Minseok mutters, closing his eyes as though he’s trying to wrap his head around that revelation. Jongin’s knees fail for a second, but he doesn’t collapse. He isn’t trying to trick Minseok with lies, that’s not his intention, and Baekhyun must know that too, because he wouldn’t help him otherwise. “Don’t tell me.”

There is a moment of silence among them. Baekhyun isn’t looking at them anymore, as though he would intrude in a private moment, and as Jongin stares into Minseok’s eyes, he realizes that it’s true: they don’t require explanations to trust each other. And it’s a funny feeling, beyond intimate, that belongs to them and no one else; Jongin wouldn’t have ever imagined it.

“Can you leave us for a minute?” he says under his breath, only for Minseok to hear.

The confusion strikes across for a fleeting second, but then Minseok strokes Jongin’s sides before nodding. He dedicates Baekhyun a farewell look, unanswered because he’s still with all his senses on the ground. Only when Minseok darts off and they’re left alone, Baekhyun dares to confront Jongin again.

Jongin doesn’t have to ask the question, though he isn’t in a place to demand it in any case.

“It pains me to see him this way,” Baekhyun responds to the silence. I’m not doing it for you, not for the two of you, his face seems to add. And then, as if he finds Jongin is being ridiculous, as if he thinks he’s a kid who doesn’t understand what their imprinting implies, he spits, “He will leave with you if you’re exiled.”

Jongin isn’t so sure. There is more silence than words between him and Minseok, long minutes in which he senses Minseok staring at him, memorizing him. It isn’t fair for him, because he’s not capable of doing the same; every time his eyes meet Minseok’s, he can’t help but remember the clock is ticking for them. The difference in their attitudes is, without a doubt, the hope, or in Jongin’s opinion, self-deception.

Contradicting the rules, Minseok refuses to work until the sentence is out, so the only remedy is that Baekhyun takes up the reins. It makes Jongin feel even worse, given that his own actions - even if they weren’t intentional - are affecting Minseok’s career, but he never gets to complain. Having Minseok by his side relaxes him, and sometimes when they’re entangled in bed and he’s falling asleep on the alpha’s embrace, he forgets.

However, the night before the sentence, it’s impossible to forget. Even if they were able to pretend, the pheromones would show both the truths and the lies. Minseok’s pheromones are altered, and when Jongin finally gets into bed with him, they wind around Jongin as though they are trying to trap him. Without a word, Jongin just molds against his mate’s body, which receives him with clues of anxiety and distress; they have been germinating for days straight, and Jongin fears they will destroy Minseok if he lets them grow within.

After a kiss on his forehead, Minseok mutters, “You have us on your side.”

Us is a wide term, but Jongin comprehends the idea. Needless to say, the omegas believe him, mainly because he’s being treated this way for being one of them; apart from them, it’s Minseok and Baekhyun who support him too, and the latter just because he heard the proof of his innocence.

Waiting for the sentence, Jongin has thought a lot about his parents too. A couple that adopted a foreign wolf so that he could have a better life, merciful, loving people that never minded that Jongin didn’t share their blood. After all the effort they invested on him, the pride and the happiness of a good job, they’re about to get informed about how their son is a traitor and a murderer.

And nothing of that matters, really. Pressed against Minseok, Jongin wishes to speak out loud about their future. Minseok has been part of the military for more than five years, three as a general, and the first rule of the army is clear: the army before your mate. No one has to belong to them to know that, because they’re taught about loyalty and priorities at school, when they’re barely pups.

Is Baekhyun right? he wants to ask, will you come with me?

Instead, other words sprout. “Touch me.”

Minseok’s arms are around him, but that’s not what Jongin is pleading for. One last time, his mind murmurs, one last time before we never see each other again. Jongin needs him to tear his clothes apart and explore until the tiniest part of his body; he needs to be Minseok’s once more, even if he’s cheating himself.

Nevertheless, Jongin suspects Minseok isn’t disposed to comply. And he understands why. Although Minseok is scared, he won’t admit the chance of losing him, the final decision in which they have to be apart. It isn’t so hard to deduce why the situation is dreadful for him: because it’s a goodbye, the last time they would be together, because Minseok will stay in the army no matter what.

“No,” he whispers, voice fractured with emotions. “Jongin, I don’t want you to think like that.”

As the omega raises his chin, Minseok gazes down at him, brushing his hair. There is tenderness on his gesture, but Jongin knows him well enough to read what’s under the public face; his chest inflates and deflates as if he’s being suffocated. Jongin feels it too: cold fingers that seem to squash his lungs, scratching at them, warning that breathing isn’t worth it.

“Don’t do this to me,” Jongin tells him, lips barely brushing against Minseok’s. The alpha wavers, containing the urge of kissing him, a net in which he would consent to be locked. He knows it’s a weakness, and though Minseok has denied him a lot of caprices, it’s harder each day, especially if it will make Jongin miserable. “I’m begging you.”

Their lips meet, both of them breathless and burning. It’s easier to give in than fight, and in the end, Minseok says goodbye.

It’s nine o’clock in the morning, and Kim Jongin, despite being found innocent for conspiracy, is expelled from the army.

There are small things, small rules, small promises, that when they are broken, bring unexpected results. Sometimes they’re silly, like forgetting one is in charge of his own plane, and that even if it’s a futile routine for them, it’s important they stick to their own obligations. Once in a while, they’re important, like Jongin promising Minseok they would always go back home. He thought that the army was his home back then, but now it’s only for Minseok; he’s leaving to never return.

With the suitcase open on the bed, Jongin accepts it. That it’s over, that he lost his time for almost a year. And that he should have stay home with Jongdae and Chanyeol, where he had love, just not the kind of love that is able to rip one apart.

“Isn’t Minseok coming?”

For the past hour, while he helped him to pack, Kyungsoo has been trying to let out that question. Jongin has caught the multiple attempts, Kyungsoo’s mouth left half open every time he thought he had found the right words. As they fill the suitcase though, he must have realized that there is no way of toning it down.

“No,” Jongin just answers, retaining the urge to shrug. There is no use in pretending that it hurts him, but it’s for the better. The sooner they get used to being without each other, the less he will suffer outside the army. “He’s in the forest. We won’t… do it that way. Not seeing him will hurt less. The forest will make him good.”

Unless he visits any of the places where they have been together, which Jongin hopes he doesn’t. He isn’t sure how Minseok is going to deal with the separation, since they haven’t talked about it. Even hours before Jongin’s sentence, he still insisted they wouldn’t punish him, and it was clearly a lie that, for some reason, he was telling to himself.

Throwing the last shirt into his suitcase, Jongin sighs. He sits on the bed, requiring a moment to calm down before finally departing, but the moment he raises his head, Kyungsoo is hauling his own huge suitcase out of the wardrobe. It falls on the ground with a terrible noise, and Kyungsoo pulls it as if he wished to throw it out of the window.

Eyebrows furrowed, Jongin breathes out a, “What are you doing?”

Kyungsoo launches the suitcase on his bed too and unzips it in silence. Each of his moves is full of determination, a bit of anger, and a bit of grief. “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?”

“Yes.”

That’s insane. That’s all Jongin is able to think, but he has been keeping a lot of opinions to himself, because he doesn’t have any right to dictate people and their decisions. He can’t tell Minseok to drop his career and accompany him so that they have a normal life, with normal jobs and a bunch of pups. And he surely can’t judge Kyungsoo, even if he’s taking a step that he may regret, because forcing him to remain in the army, creating the bombs that killed their own colleagues, exiled his best friend and best teacher, and broke an imprinted couple, is just ridiculous.

“Kyungsoo…”

“I’m going to declare myself mentally ill,” he announces, not disposed to let Jongin convince him of withdrawing that impulse. He doesn’t pack with ease, just catches clusters of clothes and tosses them inside. “Which is fucking true. And you might know why Yifan did what he did, but I don’t want to hear it from you, but from him. I’ll look for him, and yes, probably won’t come back. Maybe I will die before finding him because a pack thinks I’m a good dinner, but-”

Jongin wouldn’t want to hear the end of that phrase. Not because it scares him, but because Kyungsoo doesn’t have to justify himself. He knows that Kyungsoo cares about a lot of people in the pack, that he doesn’t have connections but also intimate friends; however, there is only one person that really cares about Kyungsoo with the same intensity, and that’s Yifan.

“Send me a postcard,” Jongin demands, eyes shining with both hope and sadness.

When Kyungsoo turns around to stare at Jongin, he doesn’t last two seconds before he’s jumping on him, a goodbye bite in the arm that, much to Jongin’s disgrace, hurts really bad.

During the first week, the claiming mark burns, sets Jongin on fire out of nowhere. It's usually at night, but it doesn't work with recognizable logic: Jongin writhes in pain in public places, in bars, in parks, in shops; the sensation shoves him to the ground, oxygen doesn't find the way into his lungs, his legs don't work and the world becomes white. And in a picture of white, blurred forms and strangled voices, Minseok appears. Words and smiles, memories and suppositions, and Jongin can feel the kisses on his lips and the hands caressing his thighs, but Minseok isn't there.

Most of the nights, Jongin locks his bedroom so that Jongdae doesn't slide into his bed to give him consolation. Jongdae and Chanyeol are already aching for him, yet they smell of each other. Jongin finds Chanyeol in Jongdae, and vice versa, and when he searches for the mark, he can’t find it. Chanyeol's guilty eyes are enough of a confirmation, and in the back of Jongin's head there is a voice reminding him that being claimed doesn't mean Chanyeol doesn't have feelings for him anymore. And that's the last thing Jongin needs, to hug one of his friends and realize they have found someone, that is an honest feeling, and that they're attached to each other now, just like Jongin is to Minseok. But that Chanyeol still loves him.

When it gets harder, Jongin tries to remember what Yifan said. Imprinting doesn't mean he has to be with his mate forever, that if he stops loving Minseok, or if he never loved him, he could build a life with another person from the beginning. But Jongin imprinted on Minseok because he loved him, and not the other way around, and although he wants Minseok to be happy, he can't help but fear the alpha will find someone else.

It's ironic that he finds consolation in the advice he obtained from Yifan, but wherever he is, Jongin trusts his good heart regardless of his decisions. They don't work. Jongin manages to sleep only when his fingers are caressing the mark on his neck, suddenly calming down. Jongin is claimed. Jongin belongs to his mate. And that's all.

"Wouldn't it do you good, I mean, to go out with us?" Chanyeol proposes for the third time in a row, pulling at Jongin's sleeves as though he's a pup asking for food. Jongin has spent all day in the couch, but the claiming mark has paralyzed him a couple of times today and he's afraid of collapsing outside.

Both Chanyeol and Jongdae's concerned gazes are on him, so he keeps his centered on the cushions. "It's okay. I don't have anything to do outside either way.”

Over time, Jongin ponders about leaving the pack too. Perhaps being so close to the army, to Minseok, yet so far from him, is what has such a big impact on him.

But he can't, he decides one day while he's in the garden, sitting next to a pair of trees. Either Jongdae or Chanyeol will find him here at some point, yet the momentary peace is enough for him now. Changing packs isn't an option: it's cruel for his parents, his few friends, and even for himself. Not every wolf is like Kyungsoo, because being alone for so much time would turn anyone insane. Jongin knows he's not that type of wolf, even though he wishes he was.

"Jongin?" Jongdae slips next to him, soft tone but determined gesture. For a second, Jongin is sure he got caught, pheromones giving away the amount of stress he's under. "I wanted to talk to you about something."

All alarms go off inside his head. He's aware of the attempts of his friends to approach the topic. Not only because they want him to go out of the house, but because Jongin should be sharing his feelings. It's already hard enough with the physical pain, but Jongin would rather not acknowledge the kinds of thoughts that he sometime has; they still insist.

On occasions like this, it's impossible to dodge Jongdae's direct proposition to talk.

"About?" Jongin responds, gaze on the horizon.

"My brother." There's nothing similar to pity in Jongdae now, and he spits it without remorse. If Jongin moved, it would be to clasp his mouth close, but it's useless. His friend knows it hurts, but he has always been stubborn. "I doubt you know, but next week there will be a day for visits and..."

Immersed in his own misery, Jongin has made sure he won’t receive any information from the army. And as Jongdae drops a chance like this in front of him, he has the urge to hide until it passes, enclose himself in the bedroom until it's safe again. He needs to not think about his mate, less to imagine he could see, touch, kiss him in a few days.

"No," Jongin cuts in before his friend can go on. He gets up and, without looking him in the eye, he strides back to the house. And then, under his breath, "Fuck no."

He doesn't make it to the door, though. Jongdae hauls him by the back of the shirt, which is unsettling because he never gives signs of any type of violence, and Jongin trips over himself. Once he has to hold onto his friend not to fall, he recognizes Jongdae may actually be angry at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he hisses, sounding like he's about to yell at him instead. "He's your mate! And you two are-"

There is no 'two', however, but civilians will never understand what the real issue is. He supposed that it would be easier with Jongdae, since he lived missing his older brother for half of his adolescence. In the end, he doesn't. It's like all the other persons that, when they see Jongin's mark and ask about his mate, get scandalized to know they aren't together. It's better than those who laugh off his pain, pointing out that young mates have a tendency to find problems where there aren’t any, assuming they're having a silly argument and love will reunite them.

And he would prefer not fighting with Jongdae, but he's not letting anyone else to opine about Minseok and him anymore.

"What would you know?" he replies at last, shaking Jongdae's grip off him. "It's so easy for you and Chanyeol, living in the same house! You are allowed to be with him whenever you want, not when the military says you can. Oh, and of course, if I get pregnant after a quick fuck on one of the visits, my pups are going to grow up without one of their parents. Mustn't that be great, that your father is the man who is more dedicated to the army than to his family? To the rest of the families than to his own family?"

Once the accusations are out, there's no going back. Yet Jongin finds his hand on his lips, startled, as to cover what he has said. It's as if everything makes sense all of a sudden for Jongdae, who assumed Jongin didn't want to be with his brother at all. Because of pride, maybe, because Jongin doesn't really know how to set it aside. It's not about not accepting Minseok, rather the type of life they would suffer.

"When the pain of the claiming mark shoots you down," Jongdae starts then, befuddled. "Do you think that pain is yours? It doesn't work that way. It isn't yours. You aren't going through physical pain because you are hurt; the only way the mark would provoke you is because your mate is going through hell." Then he steps back, though neither of them are staring at each other anymore. It's difficult for Jongdae too, to discuss how Jongin is harming someone from his family, and even if Jongin didn't do anything wrong, he feels guilty. "I don't know if a visit is the solution, but I fucking know you two need it. And my brother is too scared to ask for it, so I'm doing it for him instead."

Whether Minseok used his brother to reach Jongin or not, it doesn't happen again. The offer is on the table though, and if Jongin refused before, he soon hesitates. Perhaps it's because both Jongdae and Chanyeol respect his decision, not even mentioning it again so that he isn't pressured. It's useless, because once Jongin knows there's a chance of meeting Minseok, the part of his mind that is bonded to the alpha bothers him all the time. What if Minseok really needs him too? What if he's going through the same thing Jongin is and he suffers a seizure while piloting?

And yet, those are all excuses, big lies to trick himself into having his mate close. Therefore, the day of visits, Jongin wakes up with the aim of following his daily routine. He finds Jongdae and Chanyeol preparing the bags to pass the day with Minseok, supposedly the first time Jongdae is going to introduce Chanyeol to him as his mate. They're all smiles and indecent jokes that get Chanyeol visibly nervous, and Jongin enjoys them for a while.

"And then he's probably going to ask you how many boys you have dated before me," Jongdae is teasing when Jongin enters. He ignores the blush on Chanyeol's cheeks to pat Jongin on the shoulder, announcing, "We'll be heading there now."

Jongin nods, but shrinks on a chair without any intentions of accompanying them. He senses Jongdae inspecting him for a few more seconds, a soft furrow of his eyebrows that fades away, before walking to the door with Chanyeol. Jongin is almost relieved that he's going to be alone again, but once Jongdae is out, Chanyeol turns on his heels and throws him an anxious look.

"Jongin," he says, stare hooked on the omega's eyes. "Please."

That's not what Jongin hears. Please, I love Jongdae. Please, don't make it harder for me. The door is closed and he wants to throw up, throat burning. There are things he doesn't want to know, like how unfair this is to Jongdae.

It's not that easy to fall out of love. That's why Jongin loves Minseok, too.

When Jongin arrives at the army, the front doors haven't opened yet. People are crowded outside, and although Jongin is about to pass out, he manages not to back away. It's a strange feeling, because the mere fact of him standing there relaxes him, as if his body catches pheromones that his conscience doesn't.

He hugs his own arms, cold under the hot summer sun, and waits with his eyes closed. In a matter of minutes, he smells Jongdae, his happiness and hope as he caresses Jongin's back. He doesn't even think about Chanyeol's absence, or how Jongdae has found him in the mass of people. However, he leans against the touch, grateful for the support even if he himself is emitting the kind of pheromones one would want to have far away.

"Open your eyes," Jongdae whispers then. "He confessed he told Yifan about the bombs."

Jongin obeys, just in time to catch Jongdae's grin as he disappears among people. The doors are open now, so everyone is in motion except Jongin. But there is no need for him to move. He's paralyzed, alone, trembling legs, yet he hasn't felt better in a long time. It takes a lot to recognize his mate, as though they haven't seen each in ages - it feels like it, either way. Minseok isn't staring at him. He's with Chanyeol, laughing out loud because he has dropped a suitcase and the crash has spread Minseok's clothes all over the floor.

Jongin's knees fail. Minseok isn't wearing a uniform.

His heartbeat hammers against his chest as he steps forward. Minseok smells so good, much better than anything Jongin has grasped in the last years. It's a perfume that reminds him of young Minseok, the one that used to leave him breathless just by smiling; it shakes the ground Jongin is touching, and he doesn't understand why, but this is happening. Minseok is there, dragging all his belongings out of the military base. And it's evident he can smell Jongin, even among hundreds of persons, but he doesn't turn to him until Jongin is openly smiling and running to him, changing pheromones that only a mate would comprehend.

Minseok's arms embrace him, a choked laugh for the whimpers that Jongin releases at the contact. They are the only two pieces of a puzzle coming together. Then, very softly, he mutters, "The army before your mate? That's bullshit."