College
Well, I'm here.
Yeah, it's really weird. I've already cried a whole bunch of times -- I just can't stop myself. I even cried a bit on the way home from the city on the Staten Island Ferry. I'm just really overwhelmed, and I couldn't even get on the internet, so I was feeling really lonely. I'm also kind of worried about my schedule -- I have chemistry and economics and a writing intensive on pollution, blech -- so I'm going to try to change my Learning Community tomorrow.
I've met a couple of nice people so far, but I'm still kind of lonely/shy. I guess it'll just take getting used to. I talked to my mom today and she made me feel better, but I'm still all squirmy about being here. I didn't think I would be, because my grandparents and a bunch of relatives live here on Staten Island, and my parents are only an hour away, but I'm just feeling lonely. It really killed me when I couldn't get on the internet and even talk to people online. So, yeah, I'm just kind of hanging out with a few girls and keeping to myself. Like, although I probably shouldn't, I'm not going to dinner tonight and will just stay in my room and read. I know it's not the greatest thing to do, because I should work on making friends, but I don't know. I'm just not in the mood. I'm almost... depressed, I guess. And I'm also being redundant as I'm writing this, but I'm just having a hard time and I'm not to thrilled right now.
I just feel bad. I don't really see a lot of other people here being upset or anything, but I was talking to a couple girls from my learning community and they said they still can't believe that it's college and they feel like they're at camp. I think that I've accepted that I'm at college and I can't go home, plus I've never been to camp and I've never been away from home really, so I'm really feeling it. I think it's just because I know that I'm going to have to be away from home for a while.
*sob* I don't know what to do with myself.
*sob**sob**sob*