(Untitled)

[berserkide]

So my roommate (syphilitic whore that she is) gave me this idea. I was pointing out the tour stereotypes and myths that I always see in stories and find hilarious, but since most fannish authors have never been on tour, they would have no idea what's what.

So.

TOUR MYTHS: BUSTED!Ask me your questions. Any question at all. And if I can answer it

Comments

[interpol15]

What is the kitchen/front lounge like? Do the buses have microwaves and shit? Or is it all couches and giant TV's?

Also, do the crews typically have their own bus or do they sleep on the same bus as the band?

[berserkide]

Teeeeeny tiny. Usually counter space, a little sink, a microwave, a little fridge. Some cupboards/drawers. Usually a booth-type thing with benches and a table. Other than that, couches and TVs.

In my experience, it's the same bus. You can fit a lot of people on there. With bigger bands or if you have a HUGE crew (say FOB or My Chem), it's a separate bus. I actually see that a lot in fic about bands on like, their first or second tour, and it makes me giggle.

Touring is super expensive, and labels don't usually give you a lot of tour support until you're selling millions of records, so you try to cut costs where you can.

[greenet]

How much junk food is really consumed on tour? Not a very exciting question, and I'm sure the answer differs, but I've always just sort of wondered about that. *g*

[berserkide]

Depends totally on the person and the tour. For instance, you usually get decent food on Warped, because people cook for you. On the bus it varies as well, from "healthy" junk food (ie pita chips, etc) to regular junk food (pringles, skittles, etc).

On the little van tours I've done, you're basically living off gas station food, so it's all about the microwave burritos from 7-11.

It's sort of like a big road trip, but you try to eat as well as you can to keep your energy up and stay healthy!

[anonymous]

This is an embarrassing question hence the anon:

In all the like 'tour of my bus' things that get aired they talk about not pooping in the bus toilet. What do you do if you really have to poo and the bus can't pull over anywhere?

Also when girls are on tour what do they do about their period? If you can't get poo in a toilet you probably can't get a clot in there?

[berserkide]

Um. Hold it? Or complain until the bus CAN pull over. Or until everyone else starts hitting you. Whichever happens first.

Wrap the used tampons in toilet paper, stick 'em in a plastic bag, and stash it under the sink. Get rid of it as soon as you can. Kinda gross, but what can you do?

[aftertheteacups]

omg i agree with this last statement so hard. (i'm a drummer in a band, the only girl, and holy shit, van tours were intensely bad when you were on your period.)

[berserkide]

At least when I was on Warped I wasn't the only girl on my bus. Usually it's just me and a bunch of stinky dudes in a van. At first I tried to be discreet about it, but after my first period on tour, I was just like "FIND ME A GAS STATION OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL STUFF THIS TAMPON UP YOUR NOSE". :D

[buildyourwalls]

so all this shit you read about having "bunk sex" is it true? like, I mean I'm sure anything is possible, but does it happen as often as everyone says?

and also, are the boys as ridiculous and masturbate as openly as everyone writes about? I know boys can be pretty shameless but there's still that whole 'yo i'm straight and i would never do that' but then they do it factor ;)

[berserkide]

Bunk sex, in my experience, is not something that happens often, if at all. Most bunks are about the size of a coffin, and there's not way you're fitting two people in there comfortably, unless they're both 3 feet tall.

People definitely masturbate, and you definitely know it's going on, but it's usually a private activity, and it's polite to not really bring it up. Unless they do something hilarious, like hit their head on the top of their bunk. Or make a funny noise.

You really can't be in a band or tour with one without being pretty comfortable with yourself and getting to know the other guys and girls pretty well. By the end of a tour, you've usually seen about 80-90% of your tourmates in less clothing than you would have liked, and gotten to know all about their little quirks.

[aftertheteacups]

sorry to butt in, but like, i've always been a bit of a nudist, and that always shocked my band mates the very first tour we did, but then afterwards they started turning a blind eye.

[berserkide]

ahaha, I can't even COUNT the number of people who have seen me butt naked in a totally non sexual way. halfway through a summer tour in california, our a/c broke, and it was always 5000000000 billion degrees in the van. eventually i was like FUCK IT and started just wearing boxers or panties all the time. Maybe a bra, if I was driving.

[berserkide]

Well. Actual showers can be few and far between. But it's usually pretty easy to find a hose and 5 minutes with some shampoo and soap, or a bathroom for a T&A sink bath. (That's tits and ass, for the record. Sometimes called a french bath, or a whore's bath, I think.)

summer tours are worse because of the heat, natch. You get pretty sweaty and dirty by the end of the day, so it can get pretty stinky. But no one wants to live with that sort of stench, so we all try to keep as fresh as possible. Unless you're an asshole. or gerard way. ;D