(no subject)
Title: A Fairy Tale
Author:
thecheesecow
Pairing: Bert/Gerard
Rating: PG-13
POV: Third.
Disclaimer: this is bullshit, anyone who doesn't realize this is a dumbass
Summary: Bert, Frank and Jeph are faries. in more ways than one.
Once upon a time, there was a very large tree. Well, I guess there's been a lot of large trees, but this one was a magical tree. In this magical tree lived three beautiful fairies: Frank the coffee fairy, Bert the dirty fairy, and Jeph the fairy of bad hearing. The three faires spent all their time giggling, making jokes, and acting like sluts.
On this particular spring morning the three of them had been spending all of their time hitting on the elf that lived next door to them. His name was Quinn. Although Quinn was as beautiful and kind, it was a widely known fact that he was shunned by his fellow elves because he was just too damn stupid. Everyone knew an elf is supposed to be wise and perceptive, everyone also knew that Quinn was a ditz.
So the three fairies would spend their time trying to woo this elfin beauty, and he would laugh along because he had nothing better to do.
The sport was soon interrupted, though, by a knock on the door.
"Come in" Sang the elf.
Oh HO, it was the kindly hobbits: Ray and Bob! "We are in danger." the fuzzier of the hobbits announced.
"Oh no!" screamed Frank, grabbing Jeph's unproportionately large hand.
"What's this about power rangers?" Jepha asked.
Bert giggled and pulled down his pants. Nobody seemed to notice.
"Vampires." was Ray's sobering interruption.
Bob nodded his head. "Yeah."
And then the screaming started and didn't end until said vamires had entered the house.
"Hey, I'm Gerard," said the slightly more girly looking fanged beast "And this is my brother Mikey."
Jeph was the first to talk, "He's your mother?!"
Then Bert and Frank let out their high-pitched fairy giggles and everyone knew that they were safe. And at that moment Bert and Gerard's eyes met, and they knew they were meant for each other.
So, Bert moved out of the big magical tree to live with his bloodsucking boyfriend (who wasn't just good at sucking blood), and was no longer skanky for anyone else, but was still dirty and smelled bad. Gerard, being undead, didn't mind the horrific stench, so they lived happily ever after with their adopted child (who was either a gnome or an alien, they could figure out which), Sonny.
~The End~