I refuse to believe that you like the "bad boy" type when all of the predominantly "bad boy" behaviour this guy exhibits is what you complain about. All the things you like about him are good things that your typical nice guys have. The fact that he's a bad boy also means he's his own person and a risk taker and what not, but you know, you can be all those things while being a good guy and not a fooking asshole.
So I don't think you like the bad boy at all! And even if you do it's only until you've been lied to and hurt enough to crawl back to a nice stable guy who won't pull any of that stuff.
It's the risks and rushes in life that I can't live without though. I think you'd know me well enough to know that. You think I'd be happy if I lived a normal life where I never went out and partied, if I just sat home, was in bed by 11pm every night, didn't do anything illegal? I personally don't think I could. I just need to find the balance in between the bad and good. Josh and I were talking about what kind of guy I wanted. Someone who like to party as much as I do, but knows when to shut it down; who's funny but is attractive and isn't just a big ego; who doesn't cheat, and who wouldn't talk down to me or hit me. He said that's basically impossible to find in Thunder Bay. I think I agree with him.
In any case, you can be a nice guy and still do plenty of illegal stuff and have rushes. You can have a good time and take drugs RESPONSIBLY which is exactly what your friends don't seem to be able to do. And I know you don't want that, whether you say you do or not. I'm sure you love your drugs, but not to the extent these people do them in.
You make it sound like I'm some drug fiend. Hardly the case. When I say party, I don't mean "do drugs up the wazoo", I just mean to go out in general, drinking or not, whatever.
This weekend I was good. No crazy afterparties. Just humiliation.
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So I don't think you like the bad boy at all! And even if you do it's only until you've been lied to and hurt enough to crawl back to a nice stable guy who won't pull any of that stuff.
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In any case, you can be a nice guy and still do plenty of illegal stuff and have rushes. You can have a good time and take drugs RESPONSIBLY which is exactly what your friends don't seem to be able to do. And I know you don't want that, whether you say you do or not. I'm sure you love your drugs, but not to the extent these people do them in.
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This weekend I was good. No crazy afterparties. Just humiliation.
I think I need to move out of this town.
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