can i remember how to cut...
making no sense to those reading the fb feed... lj cutting this post..
clues in the title ofthe cut really.
im not doing so great.
last week there was a bit of an incident... which led to a couple of monsters in my head escaping some... and me trying to reestablish some control which i have and havent done..
havent slept properly in over a week now... due to said incident, and because on saturday i fell down the stairs. i have a suicide drop in my flat (very steep concrete stairs) to the back yard... so come saturday lunchtime ended up under the pile of rubbish that had built up to be taken out while the back door was snowed in. bruised, battered, and with some compression injury to my left pelvis, which im keeping an eye on.. which makes it more painful if i lie down especially flat...
so all things there plus january money worries. going to end up short this month again.. but not as badly as it could have been... zero food budget is actually doable... however not when i have a hospital appointment in just under two weeks and im having to follow some idiot sheet that tells me i can't eat anything normal... basically i can have boiled chicken, eggs boiled potatoes. no veg, fruit, cereals, red/pink meat, pasta, or any thing i usually eat - which is a big range! i cant even make pizza cos tomato puree is out.... and herbs.. oh i can have cheese and rich tea biscuits....
that in itself is tressing me out a bit...
february will be better due to no council tax that month...
so yeah lots of stuff, and its left me totally drained, feeling pretty damned low and isolated... not that im any company right now...
dont really know what to do to try and pull myself out of it either...
guess all i can do is wait...
sorry, and i hope you arent too depressed now for reading it.
sara
clues in the title ofthe cut really.
im not doing so great.
last week there was a bit of an incident... which led to a couple of monsters in my head escaping some... and me trying to reestablish some control which i have and havent done..
havent slept properly in over a week now... due to said incident, and because on saturday i fell down the stairs. i have a suicide drop in my flat (very steep concrete stairs) to the back yard... so come saturday lunchtime ended up under the pile of rubbish that had built up to be taken out while the back door was snowed in. bruised, battered, and with some compression injury to my left pelvis, which im keeping an eye on.. which makes it more painful if i lie down especially flat...
so all things there plus january money worries. going to end up short this month again.. but not as badly as it could have been... zero food budget is actually doable... however not when i have a hospital appointment in just under two weeks and im having to follow some idiot sheet that tells me i can't eat anything normal... basically i can have boiled chicken, eggs boiled potatoes. no veg, fruit, cereals, red/pink meat, pasta, or any thing i usually eat - which is a big range! i cant even make pizza cos tomato puree is out.... and herbs.. oh i can have cheese and rich tea biscuits....
that in itself is tressing me out a bit...
february will be better due to no council tax that month...
so yeah lots of stuff, and its left me totally drained, feeling pretty damned low and isolated... not that im any company right now...
dont really know what to do to try and pull myself out of it either...
guess all i can do is wait...
sorry, and i hope you arent too depressed now for reading it.
sara