The Broken - Chapter Three - The First Ball
Chapter Three - The First Ball
“Lord Shrieking, your violinist is simply superb!” Lady Parkinson said as she yanked her daughter closer to Remus. Remus smiled politely as she approached. Miss Parkinson looked bored, and she was pulling her kid gloves off when her mother smacked the back of her hand. "Pansy! Do thank Lord Shrieking for his invitation!"
Miss Parkinson smiled at Remus and dipped into a deep curtsy. Her mother was just beginning to smile when she spoke-" Thank you so much for inviting us to this farce of a friendly affair. I've truly enjoyed being trotted about like a prize pony before all the men of my mother's dubious acquaintance."-and then her smile fell.
Lady Parkinson whipped out her fan, fluttering it rapidly in front of her face. "I'm sorry, my lord, but I'm... I've a bit of the vapours. I must take leave of you. Please forgive me for this disrespect."
"There is no disrespect, my lady. Do take a moment to rest in the parlour; I wouldn't want you to become ill." Remus graciously pointed out which direction the parlour was located in, and then he watched Lady Parkinson wander off, still dragging her daughter along behind her.
For all the trials and tribulations Remus had faced, he was glad that an angry mother had never been one of them. He smiled at the memory of his own mother, one of the sweetest women to ever live, he was sure. His father had been harsh, as was common among the men of the gentry, but his mother had spoken angrily only once in Remus's life that he could remember, when she was berating his father for not fleeing the country before everything had fallen apart.
Remus could tell he was falling into the gloomy memories when he heard the dance end. The dancers on the floor bowed to each other and walked off for a moment, taking the short break between dances as an excuse to nibble on the offered refreshments. As it was his first ball that season, and a very large one, he had chosen to offer small finger foods and a sweet cider to his guests instead of a full dinner. He'd heard a few grumbles from the older men and even a couple of more rotund gentlewomen, but most everyone seemed content with the spread he had laid out.
Ginny and Hermione were tending the food, bringing more out from the kitchen as platters emptied. Lucius was acting as his butler for the night and Neville was operating the cloak room. He had seen Harry in and out of the room earlier though, so he supposed the Longbottom boy was having a bit of trouble with his duty, as always. Neville was a kind and gentle young man, but he rarely managed to complete a task as directed... at least, not outside of the bedroom.
The man and women milling about the room looked as though they were getting ready to find their partners for the next dance. Miss Parkinson was being handed off to a gentleman who looked as though he could be her grandfather. Taking pity on the young woman, he strode up to the platform where his musicians stood.
Catching the eye of his violinist, he said, "I'd like to add an upbeat tune to the evening’s sets. Can you do that?"
Snape nodded. "Of course, my lord. Allow us but a moment to ready ourselves." He then spun, his coattail flaring out sharply behind him, and began to address the pianist.
Remus wanted to announce the dance for his guests, but he had to wait until a song was settled upon to do so. While he was waiting he took the opportunity to observe Snape.
The man's hair was nowhere near as greasy as Miss Parkinson had made it out to be, though it did shine rather obviously. It was pulled back from his face, accentuating the rather large nose and harsh features. Snape's skin was pale, as though he spent no time in the sun, and his clothing was severe. It was black and covered with glittering black buttons. When Remus had requested he change into something a little more festive, Snape had frowned and explained it was the only nice clothing he had, and indeed, if Remus remembered correctly, it was what he had worn for his performance at Rede's ball.
Still, while the man's features were unflattering, his passion for his music more than made up for them. When Snape was playing, his features would soften imperceptibly and his posture would become straighter and more statuesque. Then his eyes would close, and he would seem to drift into another world.
Now though, Snape was turning back to him and Remus let himself gaze at the man's face. He trailed his glance over the man's lips and then up to his eyes. Snape looked back at him solemnly, as if Remus's interest did not affect him.
"My lord," Snape said, "we would like to play Mozart's Concerto in A Minor, if it pleases you."
Remus nodded. "That is fine. I will announce it." He moved to the front of the stage, conscious of the fact that the violinist's eyes followed him, and then informed his guests that he was adding a new song to the evening, and that it would be danced as a varsouvianna, an older form of the waltz. As he stepped off the stage, he pulled aside a young man, Baron Fletchley's youngest son Justin Finch, and asked him to dance with Miss Parkinson. The young Mr. Finch frown but acquiesced, delighting Lady Parkinson and annoying her daughter when he approached them. Still, Miss Parkinson looked quite a bit happier at the prospect of dancing with someone her own age.
“Playing fairy godfather, Remus?”
Sirius stood near the door to the men's lounge for the evening, a glass of some type of alcoholic drink in his hand. He was in his shirtsleeves, and Remus could hear tittering in the background. He sighed and approached his friend, placing an arm around Sirius’s shoulders and leading him into the lounge again.
Nodding to the viscount and two barons already occupying the room, Remus settled the two of them into a set of richly upholstered chairs in the corner. “Sirius, I understand that you are going through a vastly delayed adolescent rebellion, but I do wish you wouldn’t do it in polite company.”
Sirius snorted. “That lot isn't polite company. They're a bunch of vultures is what they are!”
“Really? I was under the impression the only ‘vulture’ you were concerned about was the Dowager Lady Grimmauld.” Remus kept his jibe at Sirius’s mother soft, conscious that there were other men in the room.
Sirius had no such inhibition. “The woman is breeding. She has all of her cronies gathered around her trying to match me up with one of their daughters.” He sneered. “It used to be fun to promenade the girls about the room, but I’m not fit company for a young girl, what with me being a convict and all. Now I’m stuck with the spinsters and the widows!”
Sighing deeply, Remus reached out and pulled Sirius’s glass away from him, swallowing the whisky before Sirius could protest. Sirius’s face grew ruddy with anger, and Remus knew he had had more than enough to drink, whereas Remus thought he could use some more. “I am sorry for your loss-I’m sure the young girls miss their dashing dance partner as well. However, you don’t have to attend these balls.”
Sirius sighed deeply, his words slurring slightly. “It’s the old hag’s fault. She believes the government when they claim me guilty, disinherits me when they incarcerate me, and then doesn’t want to deal with the mess after they say they've made a mistake.” He waved his hands about wildly, knocking a book off the small table next to him and onto the floor. “Instead, she tells me she’ll only allow me back into the family if I wed the woman she chooses!”
Remus watched his friend subside into a mess of a man. His clothes were rumpled, his hair dishevelled, and his cheeks bright with an alcohol-induced flush. His half-shuttered eyes and harsh breathing brought to mind images of the man in the throes of passion. Sadly, they were not based on reality. Remus had never seen his friend in such a state of dishabille, not matter how often he had wished to. He covered his face with one hand and tried to push away the fantasies his mind pushed upon him.
His face still covered, Remus murmured, “Once upon a time you would have refused to cater to your mother’s whims.”
There was no response, and when Remus looked up, he found that Sirius was asleep.
“You drunkard.” Remus sighed and left Sirius behind. He popped his head into one of the servant’s hallways. Harry came rushing by and Remus called out to him.
“Yes, my lord?” Harry said.
“Sir Sirius is asleep in the lounge. Please wake him and help him to the lavender room in the east wing.”
Harry looked put upon, but he agreed. “Yes, my lord.”
Remus smiled sadly. “I’m sorry, Harry. I know how he gets when he’s like this. You can ask Neville to care for him come morning.”
Harry shook his head. “No, it’s alright. It’s a little depressing when he starts calling me James, but I like being around him.” The boy moved off down the hall. “It’s nice to hear stories of the past.”
That was something Remus couldn't offer him. Sirius’s years in prison had been lonely, and he spoke about anything and everything to anyone who would listen. Remus had spent those same ten years living with the consequences of the past though, and he avoided thinking about them at all costs.
Grateful that Sirius was in capable hands that weren’t his own, Remus returned to the ballroom. The worst part of hosting a ball was that you couldn’t simply leave in the middle of it with some simple excuse. At that moment, he would have liked nothing more than to beg off from the ball with a headache and take to his bed.
The dance he had added had already ended when he re-entered the room. He roamed through the crowd for a bit, speaking with people as necessary and dealing with the minor problems that had cropped up while he was gone. The ballroom was soon filled with music again, and he watched silently as the dancers twirled around each other.
He was surprised to find his tension dissipating as he listened to the music. His eyes drifted to Snape of their own accord. He was in tune with the music, as always, his bow moving rapidly and his hair and clothing flapping about. He was a majestic figure. The man’s powerful movements and passion made Remus's blood boil.
Almost everything about the man attracted Remus though. When he had returned home after his monthly visits to Madame McGonagall and Archbishop Dumbledore, he had found the man brooding in Draco's bedroom, his violin beating out a harsh version of Moonlight Sonata. The fierce light in his eyes at the interruption had disappeared the moment he realised who Remus was.
Remus's body thrummed as he imagined what it might take to bring that light back to the man’s eyes.
He knew his thoughts were dangerous, and he had barely managed to push them away and calm himself when Rede approached.
“Good evening, my lord. I noticed you watching Mr. Snape.” Rede's gaze was cold.
Remus blanched. Could he tell what Remus had been thinking? “Yes, I was. His playing is quite captivating.”
Rede smiled closed-mouthed, his lips pulled thin. “I’m glad you think so. I was afraid you had become displeased with him.”
“No, no. Indeed, I do believe I got the better deal.” Remus tried to offer him a smile, but it felt as though his lips were grimacing instead. It was impossible to carry on a polite conversation with Rede; the man rubbed him the wrong way.
Rede shook his head. “Very well. I’ll allow you to believe that for now.” He looked toward the violinist and then back at Remus. “Snape has a tendency to become... intractable. If that proves the case, let me know and I will take care of it.”
The frosty tone of Rede's voice made Remus shiver. “I will, Sir Thomas. Right now though, I must point out to you that your wife is trying to attract your attention.” And Remus thanked her for it. He nodded his head as he edged away from Rede. “I do hope you enjoy the ball.”
Rede pursed his lips. “I will,” Rede said ominously.
~*~
The ball was proceeding well, and Remus had begun to believe it might actually go off without a hitch when a manservant burst into the ball.
He scanned the ballroom until his eyes alighted on Remus. “Lord Shrieking,” he said quietly, “Sir Thomas Rede has discovered two of your servants in a compromising position in the barn. I thought I should warn you that he plans to take them to the pastor.”
Remus frowned. “Why?”
“The two servants were both men, my lord.”
Uttering foul oaths in more than one language, Remus strode from the ballroom. The servant followed closely behind, his red hair visible in Remus's peripheral vision.
When he arrived at the barn, he found Rede glaring at Neville and Cedric. The two boys were red faced and only partially clothed. He groaned when he caught sight of a large mark on Neville's neck. Cedric always had been one for marking his partner...
“Sir Thomas, may I ask what is going on here?”
Rede grinned mercilessly and said, “You may, and I will tell you. I caught these two men committing sodomy. I am taking them to the priest to be judged for their sins.”
Cedric’s eyes burned with fury. “My lord, I am sorry, but this is not right. Don’t let him do this!”
Rede smacked him across the face. “Respect your betters, boy!
Remus’s heart was thrumming. He knew that if he allowed them to leave without being punished aspersions would be cast on his own actions. Still, if he were to allow them to be taken to the priest, they would surely be badly injured, jailed, or even killed.
Finally, he made up his mind. Remus strode forward and grasped Rede’s arm as he made to slap Cedric again. “Stop.”
Rede glared at him and pulled his arm free. “Your servant has insulted your dignity and committed a heinous act. He deserves to be punished.”
Remus looked Rede in the eye, both to make his point heard and so that he wouldn't have to look at Neville and Cedric. “And they shall be, but they are my servants, not yours, and they shall be punished under my orders.”
“The punishment must be severe.”
Rede was pushing him, Remus knew, but he would not back down. He had to protect his servants, even if it meant hurting them.
“My estate manager will be put in charge of whipping them. They will receive one hit for every year old they are. Cedric will receive one beyond that, as well, in response to his rudeness. Does that please you, sir?”
Rede frowned. “I suppose, my lord. But if they were to do it again...”
Remus shook his head. “You won’t catch them again, I promise you.” Indeed, Rede wouldn't because Remus would no longer allow him onto the estate when Cedric and Neville were there.
“Fine!” said Rede. He stomped off, the manservant who had alerted Remus trailing behind him. Remus smiled as he realised the man was probably one of Ginny’s brothers. The Weasley's were a good family.
“My lord, must we really be punished?” asked Neville.
Remus sighed harshly and did not look at the two boys. “I’m afraid you must. I am sorry, but it would put too many people at risk if I did nothing.”
Cedric snarled behind him. Remus squeezed his eyes shut, hard, hoping the whole situation would go away, but when he opened them again, nothing had changed.
“I’m so sorry. Please stay here until I can retrieve Lucius.”
Remus walked off, his heart sinking with every step. He could hear sobs behind him, and he supposed Neville had broken down. Why did it have to happen this way?
He had taken each of them to his bed, taught them to make love to a man, and then let go of them when he realised they were in love with each other. They had only just begun their relationship. Why did they have to face something like this now?
He entered the front door and informed Lucius of what he was to do. The man had nodded grimly, and then called another servant to take his place. Remus retreated to his bedroom then, grateful that the ball was winding down and that he wouldn't offend too many guests with an early departure.
He lay in bed, thinking. He could almost hear the sound of a horsewhip beating against human flesh, he imagined. Each imaginary whack made him clench up in pain. Not physical pain, no, but emotional distress-guilt for what he had done.
Still, he was glad that it had been Cedric and Neville that were caught. Nothing too terrible would come of their punishment, and afterwards, they would have each other. Not like Remus. He had no one to comfort and care for him.
In the darkness, the pain felt worse than ever. He rolled to his side and curled up into a ball. He had imagined being in love once, sharing his bed every night with a man who adored him. He'd never told anyone how he had dreamed of Sirius for years. It had been a silly dream, and one that was crushed after Sirius came out of jail a different man from the one who went in.
Now Remus loved no one. He was alone. It was good though because it kept people safe.
It was good.
Tears leaked from his eyes without his permission, but Remus wiped them away and focused on the sounds that were beginning to come from the room next to his. Snape seemed to be settling in for the evening. When the sounds stopped, Remus figured he had fallen asleep, but then music began to drift through the air.
He felt his body relax as a sleepy lullaby pulled him to dreamland. His last thought before he fell asleep was of Snape’s dark, angry eyes.
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