Lovely beta who pets my head and coddles me and always tells me the truth even when it hurts... is the tone of the ending too different? Is it too abrupt? I'm having second thoughts...
Hmm. Well, personally, I think the ending is a tad bit abrupt--not the ending itself, per se, but the process of Scorpius finding out his memories seems a bit short, especially since his finding out he's lost his memories is a bit detailed in comparison. I feel like there can be a bit more fleshing out of Al and Scorpius's relationship between the time Scorpius first wakes up and when he finds out everything. But then, I'm one of those people who like to stretch scenes and stories and plots that possibly do not need any stretching, so that might just be me.
As for the tone of the story itself: the tone does change a lot from the beginning to the end of the fic. However, that's actually a good thing, IMO--it actually works well for this story, since Scorpius, like us, is discovering these things for himself; and I think you've laid out enough clues over the course of the entire fic so that when the end actually comes, the dark tone of it isn't entirely unexpected. I think you did a great job with a story in the short amount of time
( ... )
lol, it's a lot longer than the 1,000 word ficlets I've been reading. I'm so busy writing any fic over 3,000 words just gets relegated to a list of "to reads" for a week or so.
Yep, I fixed the mistake. Thank you! And yeah, I think Al's just going to keep obliviating him everytime until Scorpius manages to escape before he can. XD
And I dunno about the prompts... I think I might edit a couple to make them feel a little less forced. But I think they are less forced here than they are in NOT a Diary, so I'm okay with it. *shrugs*
lol, well, I was thinking literally, was Voldy born a cute, little, vindictive Dark Lord? As in, was he a cute little baby and vindictive as hell? Or did society turn him bad?
I think I'll add baby into the quote... That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was Voldemort born a cute, vindictive, little Dark Wizard? Was he evil even as a baby? Or... did society make him that way? I go back and forth on that.
Comments 28
Reply
I was all, lalala, gonna finish writing, OH NOES. I'm blocked. Poopy.
Browse through ass_carnival... read prompts again. GET SUPER ANGSTY IDEA! Go write. End up with dark!fic. Oops. Post anyway.
(Lose ability to write complete sentences somewhere along the way too... XP)
Reply
*worries*
Reply
As for the tone of the story itself: the tone does change a lot from the beginning to the end of the fic. However, that's actually a good thing, IMO--it actually works well for this story, since Scorpius, like us, is discovering these things for himself; and I think you've laid out enough clues over the course of the entire fic so that when the end actually comes, the dark tone of it isn't entirely unexpected. I think you did a great job with a story in the short amount of time ( ... )
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
And yeah, 8,000 isn't a ton, but it takes a while to read. XD
Yay for the icon too!
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
And that's an awesome icon. XD
Reply
Reply
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
And I dunno about the prompts... I think I might edit a couple to make them feel a little less forced. But I think they are less forced here than they are in NOT a Diary, so I'm okay with it. *shrugs*
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
I think I'll add baby into the quote... That's that whole nature versus nurture question, isn't it? Was Voldemort born a cute, vindictive, little Dark Wizard? Was he evil even as a baby? Or... did society make him that way? I go back and forth on that.
Is that better or worse?
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment