The Broken - Chapter Seven - The Engagement
Chapter Seven - The Engagement
Remus stepped out of the carriage, happy to be home. He had again rushed through his visits with Bishop Dumbledore and Dame McGonagall for he was anxious to return to Shrieking Manor and Severus.
He left the driver to unload his baggage and made his way up the front steps to the porch faster than he ever had before. A smile on his face, he sedately opened the front door. Noise greeted him from the parlour, music. He headed towards it.
Remus was ever mindful of appearances, so he took his time walking towards the parlour. Each step filled him with dread as he heard the music more clearly.
It was not the notes of a violin that danced through the air. It was merely a piano, and the song was one of Draco’s favourites.
Remus slumped against the wall outside of the room. His smile was gone, long since replaced by a frown. If Draco had returned, then Severus was gone. Remus had returned before the end of the ball season as he promised, hoping that Rede would wait that long to take Severus back, but he should have known better. He should have said his goodbyes to Severus before he left. Their parting felt unfinished now.
Remus wished he hadn’t left, but he knew that would have had even worse repercussions. It would have put the entire estate at risk, and if anyone had learned his secret...
It wasn’t worth thinking about. Remus pulled himself upright and straightened his waistcoat. He would see Severus again, someday. Perhaps Rede would be willing to trade musicians again during the next ball season. Miss Rede had not found a marriage partner this season, and as time passed, Rede would probably become ever more desperate to make connections for her among the peerage, since he was but a baronet and hardly above the commoners.
Taking a deep breath, Remus felt much better. He would miss Severus, but the next ball season was only eight months away. They would be together again then, and if Severus wished it, Remus would purchase Severus’s debt from Rede and install him in Shrieking Manor. Draco had been considering attending university anyway, so he would soon in need of a new house musician.
Thinking of Draco reminded him that the boy had returned from Rede’s estate. He opened the door, hoping to learn more about Draco's experience with Rede. The man was rumoured to be a hard taskmaster. He wondered how Severus's homecoming had gone.
Draco looked up at him when Remus entered the room. His fingers continued to fly across the keys as he nodded at Remus. “Good day, my lord.”
Remus strode to the piano and laid a hand on Draco's shoulder. Peeking at his music, Remus noted he was playing a piece by Mozart. “It is nice to see you, Draco. Everyone missed your beautiful music while you were away.”
The boy faltered in his playing and came to a stop. He shuddered beneath Remus's hand. “I... doubt that, my lord. Though I have not heard him play, Mr. Snape is said to be an exquisite musician. I'm sure he kept you well entertained.”
Wondering if the boy was jealous, Remus tried to reassure him. “Mr. Snape is indeed quite talented, but all of his talents lie in the violin. I appreciate that you are skilled with more than one instrument.”
Draco bowed his head. “Thank you.”
Remus patted him on the shoulder and then finally withdrew his hand. “Play another piece for me. Did you learn anything new while you were at Rede’s estate?”
“I learned many new things, but none were songs for the piano,” said Draco. The look on his face was rather odd. He seemed almost depressed.
Settling himself into a chair, Remus waved his hand to shrug off the idea. “That’s fine. Continue the piece you were playing before then.”
Draco nodded and poised his hands over the keys. He held them there for a moment and then dropped them to his lap. “Lord Shrieking?”
“Yes, Draco?”
Draco’s hands clenched and unclenched in his lap. “If you were to learn something about someone you trusted that would break your trust in them completely, what would you do?” His voice wavered a little.
Remus wondered who had upset the boy so badly. “There is very little that will break my trust in anyone. If they have broken it, I find that if I give them back even a tiny bit of my trust they will not break it again. Everyone deserves a second chance, after all.” Hopefully, that would help Draco deal with this person.
Draco looked up at him with hope in his eyes. “Really?”
“Yes,” said Remus. “After all, almost everything is forgivable, short of murder.”
Draco’s face was expressionless. Was he upset? “Of course, my lord, everything short of murder.”
Before Remus could enquire further into Draco's questioning, Draco began playing. Remus shrugged off his discomfort with the conversation, wishing he had been able to better soothe Draco’s worries. He closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of his chair. Draco segued into a simple lullaby, and Remus let himself drift off. His trip had exhausted him, and he slept deeply, dreaming of Severus.
~*~
Though Remus thought of Severus daily, it was over two months before he found a reason to contact Rede about him. He hated not being able to talk to Severus, listen to his music, or just know how he was doing. The months had been long, and his visits to Bishop Dumbledore had been more excruciating than normal.
But early one morning, Remus was given a reason to call Severus back to Shrieking Manor. It was just past nine in the morning when Lucius escorted Sirius into Remus’s library. Sirius was visibly drunk even at that early hour.
Sirius stumbled against Lucius, and the man shook his head in disgust as he stood Sirius upright. Remus wanted to shake his head too, but he instead motioned to the chair nearest his.
“Good morning, Sirius. Do have a seat.” Sirius flopped into it and Remus grimaced. “Thank you, Malfoy.”
Lucius gave a slight bow and escaped. Oh, how Remus wished he could leave too. Sirius was grumbling under his breath and glaring at thin air at that point.
“You look a bit upset,” said Remus. He found that simple statements were received better than direct questions when Sirius was in this state.
Sirius growled. “I’m more not ‘a bit upset’. I’m bloody steaming mad. My mother’s finalised my engagement.”
Biting back a grin, Remus said, “I take it you don't want congratulations.”
“The wedding's set for December!” Sirius moaned. “In four months, I’ll be stuck with Bertha Jorkins for the rest of my life.” He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. He propped his head up on his hands and pouted. “I don’t want to marry the hag. She’s a scatterbrained spinster that no one else wants. Why can’t I marry a pretty, young girl?”
Remus supposed Sirius’s mother had picked Miss Jorkins because the girl was easily persuaded, just as Sirius was. Though she was the Dowager Lady Grimmauld and thus had no legal control over the entitled part of the estate, she ran it as though she were the current Baroness. Remus didn’t understand why Sirius let her control him.
“You don’t have to marry,” said Remus. “You were granted the title of Baron Grimmauld at your father’s death, whether she liked it or not. Grimmauld was entitled to you as well, so you’ll always have a place to live.”
Sirius pouted harder. “I don't want that nasty old house. I can’t do anything to it without money either, and all of that was willed to my mother.” His petulant attitude dropped away, and he looked a bit panicked. “I need the money, Remus. In prison, if you didn’t have money, you had nothing. Ten years, ten years I ate mostly bread and gruel. If I had had money, I could have bribed the guards for better food.” His face suddenly looked gaunt; his eyes, haunted. “I can’t go back to that, Remus. I just can't.”
Remus sighed and reached out to clasp one of Sirius's hands. The boy he once loved had been destroyed. Prison had taken away his fight. If he had had some hope for freedom or retribution while he was imprisoned, perhaps he would have still had the courageous recklessness of his teenage years.
“I will always support you,” promised Remus. “You don’t have to go through with this.”
Sirius shook his head, the lost look in his eyes retreating. “I need to have money of my own. Mother won’t give me all of the money, but she's promised thousands of pounds for a wedding gift. I need to have control of my own life.” He seemed almost sober when he said, “I can’t spend the rest of my life living in fear of not having money.”
Remus understood. If he could escape his own demons, he would. Instead, he would try to help Sirius conquer his fears. “Well then, I’ll do my best to support you and your new wife.” He ignored Sirius's groan. “Let me be the first to throw you an engagement party.”
Sirius perked up. “A party? With alcohol? And pretty girls?”
“Exactly,” said Remus. Of course, the party would require entertainment-like a musician-and Remus knew just the violinist for the job...
~*~
Remus wasted no time. He visited Rede's house the next day, anxious to see Severus again. Mrs. Longbottom and Lucius had worked with him to plan the party the previous evening, and they had decided to hold it in ten days. It gave them just enough time to ready the house and prepare a meal. Remus cared little about the party though.
Harry had hardly brought the carriage to a stop when Remus climbed out of it. He took a deep breath, reminding himself that he needed to maintain appearances, and strode to the door. He knocked loudly and smiled at the butler when he opened the door.
“Good day, sir. I’m here to see Sir Thomas. He isn’t expecting me, I’m afraid.” Remus stepped inside of the door when the butler opened it. “My calling card.” He presented the card to the man, who scanned it and bowed.
“Please wait here, my lord,” said the butler.
Remus waited patiently, glancing around the entryway. It was overly ornate, and it was obvious that a lot of money had been spent on the gaudy furnishings. Rede had made his money in the British East Indian Company, though he had simply been an investor and not an active participant. He had withdrawn from the company before the revolt occurred and had escaped with most of his accrued riches.
The gilt mirrors and plush carpets were lovely, but not to Remus's taste. He wrinkled his nose at himself in the mirror and laughed. He felt like he was on top of the world. He’d see Severus soon, and hopefully Remus would be able to convince Rede to let Severus stay at Shrieking Manor for a little while after the engagement party-so that he could play at a few small dinner parties, of course. Not because Remus wanted to tie Severus to his bed and ravish him.
At last the butler returned, and Remus followed him to Rede’s office. Rede stood as he entered and nodded. “Good day, Lord Shrieking. How are you?”
Remus chafed, not wanting to waste time on small talk, but he replied in the same thread. “I am well, and you?”
Rede shrugged, “As good as can be expected, I suppose. What can I do to help you?” He sneered at the word “help”, but Remus ignored it.
“I’ve come to inquire about hiring Mr. Snape again, for an engagement party I’m hosting for my friend.” Remus bit back all of the emotions that wanted to come flooding out of him and gave Rede a sedate smile.
Rede winced. “I’m afraid that’s quite impossible.”
Remus's smile fell. “Why?”
“I’m afraid that the pastor learned of his perverted nature. He’d been cavorting with men.” Rede shook his head slowly. “Mr. Snape... well, he’s buried in the estate plot out back.”
Remus's chest tightened and his throat clenched. “He’s dead?” He couldn’t believe it. Severus couldn't be dead. Remus didn’t want to think about it.
Rede just continued shaking his head. “It’s sad what happens to those who throw their sins in the face of God.”
Remus took a deep shuddering breath and bowed at Rede. “I have no further reason to trouble you then. Thank you for your time. I’ll be on my way.”
He didn’t hear Rede’s reply. He left the room without looking back, his steps growing faster and faster as he returned to the front door. He waved the butler off, pulling the door open and shutting it forcefully behind him. Heart racing, he began walking around the side of the house. He'd seen the mausoleum of the Rede family plot before, and he headed in that direction.
Harry raced over from his place by the carriage to intercept him. “Master Lupin, where are you going?” His shorter stride made it difficult for him to keep up with Remus and he began running. “What’s wrong?”
Remus swallowed hard. “Severus is dead.” He didn't want to say the words or even think them. It made his death feel too real.
Harry froze and fell behind, but Remus couldn’t wait for him to catch up. The mausoleum was in view.
He entered the small burial plot. The majority of those buried there would be the Rede family, who had lived on the estate for many years. They were the ones inside of the mausoleum though. Outside were the servants’ headstones.
They were closely grouped around the mausoleum and more spread apart further away. Remus knew the more recent graves would be farther out. He walked along the edge of the plot, looking at all of the stones. Most were simple and bore only a name. The lower classes didn’t usually keep track of birthdates, though it was becoming more common for them to do so.
It seemed as though Remus had circled the entire plot when he finally stumbled on single small stone. The stone looked weatherworn and the dirt around it was not freshly turned, as he expected. There was only one name on the stone-Snape.
Remus sank to the ground next to the stone and let his sorrow pour out of him. Appearances no longer mattered. Severus was dead, long dead by the looks of the grave, and Remus had failed him, just as he had failed his mother, just as he had failed Lily and James.
~*~
“Master Lupin, you need to take better care of yourself.” Draco stood next to Remus's desk, a concerned look on his face. “It’s been a month since you found out. Mr. Snape... he wouldn’t want you to live like this.”
“You can’t say that. You never even met Severus!” snapped Remus.
Draco leaned forward and snatched away Remus's almost empty bottle of rum. “My lord, truthfully, would he want you to mourn him to your own death by alcohol?”
Remus couldn't answer that. He and Severus had never discussed anything like that. They had had so little time together, and Remus had taken it for granted.
“Besides,” said Draco, “you’re turning into a bigger drunkard than Baron Grimmauld.”
Draco's look of disgust shamed Remus. He had once been appalled by Sirius's drinking habits. It embarrassed Remus that others thought he had fallen to that level.
“I... thank you. I think maybe you are right. Severus would not expect me to mourn like this,” said Remus. Severus had seemed to expect very little from anyone. Remus wondered what it was that had made the man feel as though he could trust so few.
Draco nodded. “Naturally, I’m right.” He paused to look at the bottle in his hand. “And that, of course, means you won’t fire me for speaking to you so bluntly.”
Remus snickered, the alcohol in his blood stream making him feel suddenly amused. “Your job is safe.”
Draco's sigh of relief was just audible. “Then, my lord, I will continue speaking my mind. I believe you need to tell someone what you learned of his death.”
Remus sighed. He didn’t want to talk about it. Keeping his secret for so long had made it difficult for him to open up about anything. “I know very little,” he said, hoping to end the conversation.
Draco set aside the rum bottle and perched himself on the edge of Remus's desk. “You know enough. Go on.” He frowned. “What did Sir Thomas say?”
Remus buried his face in his hands. “Rede told me that the pastor learned that Severus had had relations with men. I don’t know what men or how the pastor found out. He didn't even say how Severus died or how the pastor chose to execute him.”
Draco cocked his head to the side. “But he never actually said Mr. Snape was dead, did he?”
Remus snorted. “He said Mr. Snape was buried in the Rede estate’s plot. I saw the gravestone myself. All it said was the name ‘Snape’. They couldn’t even write his first name on it!” Remus was beginning to babble, likely due to the alcohol. He forced himself to go back to Draco's question. “I’m quite sure that meant ‘He's dead.’”
“Or, it could mean that the pastor found out and Severus ran away, and Sir Thomas doesn't want anyone to know.”
Remus stared at Draco for a moment. “What?”
Draco swung his legs away from the desk. “In the three months I spent at the Rede estate, I learned a lot about the master. He’s bad at lying, but he is good at carefully concealing the truth. The pastor is a good friend of his, and the both appear equally hateful of homosexuality. If Severus had escaped the punishment they planned, they wouldn't want anyone to know.”
Remus wanted to let himself hope. He wanted to believe there was a chance that Severus was alive. If he let himself imagine this though, he was risking losing Severus all over again when he learned he was truly dead.
Draco continued speaking. “Sir Thomas is a master manipulator. He knows how to uncover his enemy’s weaknesses. Everyone knows how jealous he is of your money and social standing. If he learned, somehow, of your feelings for Mr. Snape, he would take advantage of them.”
Remus closed his eyes and thought. Did he dare risk losing Severus again for the mere possibility of finding him? It was hardly worth considering.
He opened his eyes and began searching through his desk drawers. “If there is any chance that Severus is alive, I will find him. The private investigators I worked with to free Sirius are still in business. I’ll hire them to search for him.”
Draco hopped off the desk. “I’m certain that they will find him. He’s probably even still nearby.”
Remus grinned for the first time in a month when he found the paper bearing the investigators’ address. “I’ll find him, no matter where he is.”
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