Jim almost missed her leaving. But he'd come home, changed his clothes, and had an ear out for her door as he finished up some paperwork. It was only because he glanced up at the window that he saw her outside, just... walking. Maybe she wanted to be alone.
Jim was really bad at doing that.
He jogged down the stairs and up the street, slowing to her pace as he came even with her.
"You look like you could use that drink now," he said quietly.
"I--" Uhura sighed and ran one hand over her face and through her hair. "I could definitely use that drink now, yeah." It was probably too early, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Not even a little. The day she'd been having...
Across the street, a man shouted and appeared to trip over nothing, and Uhura narrowed her eyes at it. Crack in the sidewalk? The pavement looked pretty even. Weird.
Time was relative. Jim followed her gaze, but she was more important right now.
"Okay," he said, nodding up the street. There were drinks at home, but he didn't suggest going. She'd left, after all. "One thing about this town--you're never very far from one."
"You're never far from anything. Except occasionally a friend, maybe." Oh, yes, she was getting bitter. Just a little. Something frozen and blended with a bright paper umbrella in it could fix that, though, and she slipped her arm through Jim's and practically dragged him down the sidewalk. "Come on. Let's go forget why this place is so awful for a while."
Jim couldn't argue with that logic, and he kept pace easily. But he was worried. This bitterness wasn't like her. And she was one of the reasons he could forget this place was so awful, from time to time. The least he could do was try to return the favor.
"I'm always a call away," he said, trying to be reassuring. "All right--this place okay?"
He'd been there before, he thought, but it hardly mattered. Almost everything had dive-like qualities around here, though this was a little better than most.
"Perfect." She didn't even look to see where they were, her eyes still focused across the street, trying to see something that wasn't there.
It was a city of dives, unless you wanted to pay five hundred dollars for a twenty dollar bottle of scotch, and Uhura planned on drinking way too much for that to make economic sense.
Uhura sat down, still a little lost in thought. Today had not been the best day. She could feel it, settled cold right in between her ribs. Over by the door, someone stubbed their toe on air and there was a quiet little hiss, but it was completely drowned out by the man's shouting. Uhura missed it entirely.
"Tony is... he's fixed, Jim. He's better." That wasn't all of it, but that was the biggest part of it. It was the first thing he needed to know. "He's Mister Stark again."
"No. Yes. I mean it is, I just--" Uhura broke off and shook her head. All her words and she couldn't find the ones that worked, the ones that made sense. "I don't know. I don't know what I mean or what I think or what I'm feeling. That's part of the problem." Could he even understand that? Well, if anyone could, it was Jim. He got her on a level that not many people did. Occasionally she envied his version of her.
"Yes," Uhura said, in an exhale, in a rush. She'd been feeling horrible about it, but she couldn't stop it, and suddenly here was someone who understood. It was like a reprieve. "That's almost all of it. I don't wish him ill, I'd never want anyone to live their whole life like that, but..." But it would have been someone she could count on to need her.
Jim nodded. "Why do you think people stay with loved ones, parents, partners, who will never recover? Why do people keep pets? Not that he was, but it's that impulse. To be needed. Hell..." He swallowed. "Why do I have to throw myself into every crisis I can find?"
He touched her hand.
"It's simpler, putting someone else before you. Because you can see what they need. It's not as easy to deal with yourself."
Jim was really bad at doing that.
He jogged down the stairs and up the street, slowing to her pace as he came even with her.
"You look like you could use that drink now," he said quietly.
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Across the street, a man shouted and appeared to trip over nothing, and Uhura narrowed her eyes at it. Crack in the sidewalk? The pavement looked pretty even. Weird.
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"Okay," he said, nodding up the street. There were drinks at home, but he didn't suggest going. She'd left, after all. "One thing about this town--you're never very far from one."
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"I'm always a call away," he said, trying to be reassuring. "All right--this place okay?"
He'd been there before, he thought, but it hardly mattered. Almost everything had dive-like qualities around here, though this was a little better than most.
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It was a city of dives, unless you wanted to pay five hundred dollars for a twenty dollar bottle of scotch, and Uhura planned on drinking way too much for that to make economic sense.
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"Uhura," he said, trying to meet her eyes. "What's going on?"
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There was no need to envy her--"his" Uhura had never been to him what this one was. She couldn't, not in the context they had together.
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He touched her hand.
"It's simpler, putting someone else before you. Because you can see what they need. It's not as easy to deal with yourself."
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