Comments | betenoire_logs: you're a hyperactve child/you're disruptive, you're too wild

idolstolemylook in betenoire_logs

you're a hyperactve child/you're disruptive, you're too wild - [open]

Oct 12, 2011 09:24

WHO human!Spike and YOU
WHAT Spike's human, and over the first shock. He can't hide all day, can he?
WHERE All over. His flat, parks, bars, restaurants, your place.
WHEN This week!
NOTES Feel free to run into Spike anywhere, as he can now do about in daylight. And please poke me if you need to figure out how to get them together.
WARNINGS None yet ( Read more... )

spike, buffy summers, conrad achenleck, cordelia chase

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CLOSED - for Buffy idolstolemylook October 12 2011, 16:28:39 UTC

It was time.

The spell hadn't gone as Spike had planned. And he was going to reverse it. But at the same time, after a few days he figured out he couldn't let this go to waste. Not when he could prove to Buffy he could be a man. A proper man--by her definition, not his--all human and heartbeaty and with sweat and all that.

So it was with some care that he stared into the mirror (a mirror! after all these years, and yeah, Spike thought, the look worked) and snatched a handful of daises from a florist's shop and went calling on her. He didn't think she'd have heard about him--maybe Wesley had told, he didn't know--but either way, he was going to be on his best behavior.

He was human. He had a flat, and a kitten. Surely this proved he was trying. No matter how much he hated getting winded, hurrying to her place.

isaywe_party October 12 2011, 17:02:25 UTC

Buffy hadn't heard from Spike in a while, but that wasn't all that unusual as far as things between her and Spike were concerned. At least here in Bete Noire.

It was hard, being so far ahead of him and not being able to give him the answers he wanted to hear. She still trusted him -- part of her would always trust him -- but she couldn't trust him that far. Not again. And she felt bad about doing this, but she needed to. For her own sake at least.

She was walking back to the mansion when she spotted him coming up the walk. And she immediately started panicking because --

"Spike, what are you doing? The sun isn't down yet! You're going to -- " Wait a minute. He wasn't even lightly smoking. Something was fishy and she wasn't entirely sure what it was. "Why aren't you catching on fire?"

idolstolemylook October 12 2011, 17:11:32 UTC

As unhappy as he was about his current status, Spike couldn't help but grin at that. Why not turn this to his advantage? So Buffy would see. He held out the flowers.

"Made a few adjustments," he told her. It was not entirely a lie. Not that he cared.

isaywe_party October 13 2011, 16:55:43 UTC

"Adjustments."

That doesn't sound right at all. She took the flowers on instinct and continued to stare at him. "How did you make some adjustments?"

idolstolemylook October 14 2011, 05:46:55 UTC

Spike waved a hand, now that it was empty of flowers. "Don't matter how," he said. "Point is, I'm a new man." He put his hand to his chest, over his heart. "New human, that is."

isaywe_party October 14 2011, 19:33:43 UTC

"You're human? Spike -- " There was a very strong level of panic that's running through her, because in an odd sort of way, it didn't make him better, it made him less. She actually had to worry about him keeping himself safe now, and that was one more person she had to worry about. "I think the how is pretty damn important right now."

idolstolemylook October 17 2011, 21:56:59 UTC

Spike shrugged. "Why? Always said I should try harder, Buffy. Here I am." He tilted his head. "You don't seem happy, love. I'm doin' what you said. Don't have any reason to kill anyone, do I? No need to worry."

isaywe_party October 18 2011, 14:45:15 UTC

"I didn't want this, Spike." There was something climbing in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was fear or something else. "I didn't want you to take the easy way out."

idolstolemylook October 18 2011, 15:23:09 UTC

Spike's expression hardened a little. "What did you want?" he asked. "You think this is easy, givin' up everything made me what I was? Can't defend myself, have to eat an' piss an' all the rest?" It made him think uncomfortably of Riley. But he wouldn't be Riley. He wouldn't be ordinary. "Tried it the so-called hard way, didn't I?"

isaywe_party October 18 2011, 17:42:54 UTC

"I want you to be you. I want you to not have to give up a part of you to make me happy!" She ran a hand through her hair as she took a step away. "Spike -- I don't know how many different ways I have to say it, but you and me are not going to happen. It doesn't matter if you're a human or a vampire."

idolstolemylook October 18 2011, 21:10:40 UTC

Spike was quiet for a moment, refusing to believe it. "Still the same, Buffy," he said. "Seems the one thing you want me to change is the one thing that won't. An' I'm bloody tired of your mixed signals an' leadin' on an'..."

He threw his hands up, helplessly.

isaywe_party October 18 2011, 21:27:52 UTC

"Mixed signals?" she said, her eyes widening. "I never gave you any mixed signals. I said from the get go that we're never going to be more than friends. That hasn't changed."

idolstolemylook October 19 2011, 03:38:44 UTC

"Yeah, you did. An' you said that before, as I recall, only I find out we were. Not to mention you keep tellin' me to try harder, be better. That you believe in me. Well what the bloody hell am I workin' for? What's the point of bein' good?"

Stupid bloody spell. Not at all what it had said on the tin. Except he wasn't exactly sure, at this point, what it had said.

isaywe_party October 19 2011, 14:37:19 UTC

Buffy reeled back at that. She didn't want her past mistakes thrown in her face like this. She knew that she never should have told him in the first place, but now she did, and she had to deal with the consequences.

He was never going to get it.

"You don't be good to get some kind of reward, Spike. You need to do it for yourself. Because it's the right thing to do. If that isn't good enough for you, then that's your choice."

idolstolemylook October 19 2011, 16:45:43 UTC

"Fine," Spike said, fist clenching at his side. "Don't have that little button in my brain tellin' me when I've been good. Don't give a toss about what's 'right.' Only know what I know. An' what I know now is that you don't have to worry, because I'm not your problem anymore, am I?"

He turned for the door, hand resting on the knob as he paused in opening it.

"Do me one favor, Slayer: Somethin' comes after me, don't stop it."

isaywe_party October 20 2011, 16:12:06 UTC

Buffy didn't say anything. She just stood there in silence watching him leave, because she couldn't do anything else. She couldn't promise him that she wouldn't save him, and she couldn't promise him that things would change either.

So she just let him go. It was the smarter move to make.

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