We light our own fires now, we lead ourselves into the night

[inakoipond]

WHO Angel and YOU
WHAT Angel runs errands, performs community service, confronts Buffy, and meets with the sheriff.
WHERE His apartment, the hospital, the butcher's,
WHEN Today/Tonight. He will only be out of his apartment after sundown.
WARNINGS None this second.

Comments

established lunch date-thingie }

[isaywe_party]

Buffy wasn't sure what Angel was upset about. At least -- she didn't have a clear picture of it. She couldn't. Those feelings that used to be attached to the name Angel, to the person himself, were gone. Not that she realized they were gone -- she could sense that things were off, and that they wanted different things, but she was simply attributing that to the space between them.

Time space. Not physical space.

Regardless, Buffy came to his place for lunch, as requested. She made her way up to his apartment and knocked quietly on the door before waiting for him to answer it. Whatever this was about, she hoped this wasn't going to end badly.

established lunch date-thingie }

[inakoipond]

Angel hadn't meant to come off as upset. But, unfortunately, his invitation had been both awkward and clipped. Luckily, when opening doors it wasn't hard to plaster on a smile, no matter how small or border-line fake it was. Of course in this case, he couldn't even do that. As he opened the door, he acknowledged her.

"Buffy."

He then stepped aside, letting her come in. He closed the door behind her and immediately went into the kitchen to finish the sandwich and plate the salad before bringing it into the living room. In the kitchen, he gathered himself, thought about what he wanted to say, how he was going to say it.

He then brought her food in and sat down across from her.

"Buffy--"

[isaywe_party]

She hadn't actually been in Angel's apartment before, so she was snooping, looking for similarities from what she could remember of his time in Sunnydale, or his apartment in LA. There were little things, here and there, but for the most part it was all new.

Sometimes a little new was good.

But for the most part she didn't say anything. She sat where directed, and waited for him to say what he needed to say.

"Angel."

... Okay, she may have said that, with a little bit of a 'get on with it' tone.

[inakoipond]

"Did I ... do something?" he asked, clasping his hands together. He wasn't expecting open arms so to speak. But, the cold shoulder, the freezing out it seemed like didn't make sense to him. He was back.

[isaywe_party]

"You mean before or after you lost your soul and showed up in the city to terrorize everyone?"

Buffy wasn't sure she grasped the question -- or even knew why she was being asked. She had been a little colder to him since he got back, but she was trying to adjust to the idea of him not being Angelus. It was hard when he had the same face.

[inakoipond]

"After," he answered, plainly.

"I didn't expect a warm reception." From anyone. "But, I didn't expect ... this from you. You're frosty."

[isaywe_party]

"Frosty?" That was not the word to use, Angel. Not the word at all. She stared at him for a moment, trying to wrap her head around what he was trying to say and ... still not seeing it. "I invited you to Thanksgiving."

[inakoipond]

"Which I appreciated," he said. And had she not have, Cordelia would have brought him, anyway. "You talk to me differently." It was a weird claim but in a way it was true. "We talk and you're one foot out the door in another conversation."

[isaywe_party]

Her eyes narrowed as she tried to pin down what he was trying to say. As far as she was concerned, her behavior had been down right cordial. "What were you expecting, exactly? A welcome home parade?"

[inakoipond]

"Banners, maybe streamers," he said, not giving off much emotion, dismissing his own ideas. "Warmth. You remembering that there --"

He paused, standing and pacing away. He needed to phrase this correctly, get to the root of how he'd been feeling. He turned back.

"There's good in me. I won't ever forget what I did here or back in Sunnydale and I don't expect you to. But, cut me some slack because I'm doing something about it." It was weak at best, but that was how it came out. On the one hand, he didn't deserve slack. He had done horrible things. But, when he had come back after killing Jenny Calendar, terrorizing her friends -- there was still ...

Even back in L.A. when she swooped in. Her anger came from love. It came from something. This Buffy --

"Back in L.A., even when we got into it I knew it stemmed from what we have -- had," he corrected, being careful again with his word. "But, it's as if all that was wiped away and all you can see is the monster in front of you. You're polite. You're not--"

[isaywe_party]

"I'm not what?" Buffy said with a frown. "Look, Angel -- there's a lot of time between where I am and where you are. Things changed. I have an army of Slayers to lead back home, and it's not just me protecting the Hellmouth anymore, it's about me being against the world, trying to stop all this evil. I can't just keep carrying around my personal baggage. Sometimes things just need to be let go."

[inakoipond]

"We're still friends," he said, putting that out there. "But, it doesn't feel like we're friends. It feels like..."

[isaywe_party]

"Will you just spit it out already?" She was getting frustrated. These dropped sentences weren't telling her anything. All they were saying was that there was something he wanted to say, but couldn't seem to get up the nerve to say it. "Just finish the sentence, Angel. It feels like what?"

[inakoipond]

"I don't know how to finish it," he finally said. "It feels like..." He chose his words carefully, again, unaware if this was really what he meant. "...you've moved on. In more ways than one." Romantically. Friend-wise. "I don't know if we can ever be friends but -- there's something off and I can't put my finger on it."

[isaywe_party]

"Maybe I have. Maybe I've finally moved on. Is that such a bad thing?"

[inakoipond]

"...No," he said, finally, deciding it wasn't. He had enough to deal with. Feelings for Buffy or vice versa? An extra layer he didn't need.