[Voice + Anon Text]

[miseryismyotp]

[Voice, locked to Some ovMennet and Sam]

So...we need to find you employment, right, Some? Any ideas?

[Anon Text]

Do the undead need to wear condoms?

And I'm not talking like need them, they'll die if they don't. I need to know if we they can get diseases.

Serious replies only.

Comments

( possibly accidental voice )

[moleculars]

Why would anyone waste their time researching that?

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

[ Is he back home already? Is that what this is? Because it feels like it, with everybody picking on him. :| ]

Why would anybody waste their time asking about it?

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

[ /pets. Out of love. ]

Lack of common sense? You should wear a condom. Full stop. Unless you feel like procreating, then by all means, don't bother with one.

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

[ Oh my gosh Mom why are you saying these words to him. :|; ]

I know that! He-just-look, you're right. Common sense. Clearly, this guy doesn't have any. [ THE END. ]

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

[ Why are you trying to shut her down, Chris? She has amazing parenting tips! ]

Well, congratulations, you lucked out in the parent pool. [ Clap clap clap ] It's a pity not all parents give their kid's the rundown on sex. Even if you are dead, you should still use a condom. Who knows what kind of diseases you carry. [ As a dead person. Not you, Chris. ]

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

[ But he is a dead person! ]

Even then... that's what sex ed is for. [ why is he still talking about this WHAT IS HIS LIFE ] But, you know, one thing I never really wanted to think about before was some zombie or whatever having sex. So thank you.

[ :| ]

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

[ DIFFERENT STORY. ]

You're welcome. And the education system has a few significant faults. That's why your parents should have the birds and the bees talk with you.

Zombie sex. [ Piper laughs ] Great image there, Chris. Don't think I'll be sleeping tonight. [ Or having sex any time soon lmao. ]

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

They did. Trust me, they did. [ More... his mom and aunts, for obvious reasons, but it happened and it was incredibly awkward for young little Chris. ] Can't say as much for this guy, though.

You're the one who brought it up!

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

I did no such thing! You're the one suggesting there's books written about this! What did they do, bring the dead back to life and run sex-periments?

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

How should I know?! It just seemed... like a possibility in a place like this. Okay?

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

You know everything! [ You come off as you do, in Piper's opinion. ] Seriously? You've got to be freaking kidding me.

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

Not everything, just most things. [ He's just so used to chain-yanking by now. Try harder, Piper. ] And I really wish I was.

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

Most things which happen to be everything that is relevant. You should really look into being a tour guide. [ This entire conversation is your fault, okay! ] Great. You should really give me the full rundown of this place. I don't want to walk into another headache like this one.

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

I'd rather look for a way out than tell people about what's in.

You know I haven't been here much longer than you, right?

[ voice ]

[moleculars]

If there's ever a job where the new kids rely on you to inform them of the who, what, when and why, don't apply. [ But apply for the Get Me Out Of Here Team, okay? ]

No, I must've missed that memo while you were telling me to relax.

[ voice ]

[ghostlighter]

Good thing I wasn't planning to.

Hey, I never said that!