"CITY CHEMISTRY" // POEM
encrusted with faux diamonds,
these ten-inch heels - sharp
stilettos - walk the streets
in a runway fashion.
your tired eyes: are they lust-
filled, or just lonely? alley
ways won't find you love or
fuel your addiction.
these lights: do they burn
you, or leave you with a
unhealthy sense of yearning
for new drugs or better sex?
the city, wide-eyed and young,
eventually meets the sky
at the horizon, a harsh line
painted against grey clouds -
these motel rooms, infested with
rats, roaches, and men, never
what you envisioned when you said
"I'm going to make my mark on this city."
this was never an action; you
were always a reaction, beneath layers
of skin and chemicals, between flesh and
bone: this wasn't blood, this was survival
(you never knew how to play the game).
---
I wrote this a while back, before my surgery, but it never seemed finished. I edited it a little bit today and I'm finally please with it, I think.
I'm making a new website, hopefully this one will last long enough for it to actually go somewhere. I'm calling it 'disinterest' for now, hope that doesn't slap me ironically in the face.