(no subject)
On Halloween we dressed like super heroes, or rather, most of us dressed like super villains. We asked each other what super villains do in their spare time. The movies will tell you that they unknowingly date super heroes. Reality will tell you that they go to parties that secretly serve kegs of non-alcoholic beer and watch puppet shows, while not drunk. Also, they help summon the police by riding a batmobile made of plywood and cardboard down the street.
In New York, I was drunk on cheap beer and gin, and the next day discovered what a bad idea driving a big red van around Manhattan during the marathon is. New York appeals to my anonymous side. The side that likes to go away for a day or two and not tell anyone. The side that wants to disappear into the crowd and just watch.
I feel the need for secrets. I've given all the big ones away, at least in the sense that secrets beyond the first person are no longer secrets. This was bothering me as a super villain, but I think now that I just haven't been paying enough attention. I haven't been paying attention to the value of the experiences that I can't share except in the action, or as thin reproductions of words, or pigments. I am perhaps more anxious to create more memories, and more experiences than to create more things to hide, because they are still mine, even if I give them away.
New York increases my appreciation of Philadelphia. Philadelphia where you can say hello to people on the street. Philadelphia where I can bike around downtown on empty streets at 3am. Philadelphia where my secrets are notes in newspaper boxes, stickers, spray paint. Philadelphia where my secrets are statues in unlikely places, diner meals, library books. Philadelphia where a man named Colby Shubert asks me to help him prevent his car with a flat and no spare, left in a transit zone, from being towed at 2am, and I do. Perhaps I've been suckered, and he won't return my nine dollars tomorrow, and I've only bought my own peace of mind, but it's also possible that we'll prove to each other that Philadelphia is not entirely undeserving of its name. I'd be willing to risk that even if you get scammed, the karma of your good intentions gets through without being docked for your being a dumbass.