RANDOM DRABBLES!
I'm sorry I haven't posted for so long. I don't even have a super duper excuse; I'm just lazy. :P But that's why everybody loves me. XD
Anyway, I just found this awesome drabble generator, and I thought I'd share a few of my creations. You have no idea how many guts I busted consecutively when reading these.
The Panther Prince
Al was walking through a pythonesque meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an impeccable little panther lying under a tree.
Al skipped over to see the dear thing and was spontaneous to find that he was hurt! A spoon had pierced his blond little calf and he whimpered improvisationally with the pain.
"My cheeky little friend," Al said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the spoon, as quaveringly as he could. The panther cried out and Al's heart ached, like a noodle that's been slurped one too many times.. "You'll be all right," Al whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Scorpius and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Scorpius up in his arms, Al carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Al nursed Scorpius, cleaning his calf and feeding him Crueller-brand panther chow.
On the eighth night, Scorpius climbed into bed with Al. He burrowed under the covers and diagonally boogied Al's eye. It made Al giggle and he cuddled close to Scorpius, stroking his tongue and singing yearningly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Al hurried home so he could curl up with Scorpius. It gave him a holy feeling whenever Scorpius boogied his eye.
Then one night, Scorpius looked up at Al and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a lost prince."
Al screamed belatedly, he was so surprised. How could a panther talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Scorpius said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Al said and kissed Scorpius on his tongue. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a lost prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Scorpius," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Al said.
"See?" Scorpius said and showed Al the scar from the spoon on his calf. Then he kissed Al and they tumbled inside the cave and did a lot of very insane things, some of them involving a risque diadem.
"I love you," Scorpius said when they were done. Al clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Scorpius had stashed away.
And if Scorpius didn't know about Al's visits to the panther sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
To Dramatically Lick
To Dramatically Lick
Bill and Hillary were celebrating a strenuous Valentine's Day together. Bill had cooked a destructive dinner and they ate in a tree by candlelight.
"My darling," Hillary said, stroking Bill's uvula, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Bill. "It is but a worrying token of my indefinite love."
Bill opened the box. Inside was an adorkable crucifix! He gazed at it randomly. Then he gazed at Hillary randomly. "It's shameful," Bill said. "Come here and let me lick you."
Just then, a complete crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a butterfly eating a crumpet. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a detrimental voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Hillary read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other touchingly as the crone cackled some more. Bill's kneecap began to tremble. Then Hillary shrugged, pulled out a power, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
The Short Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Goyle and Crabbe went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Goyle hit Crabbe in his toe with a big cruel iceball. It hurt a lot, but Goyle kissed it crisply and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really happy snow man!" Goyle said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Crabbe said. "That would be more brusque and politically correct."
"I know," Goyle said. "We can make a snow bat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up drolly and made a hurt snow bat. Goyle put on a roof for the fingernail. The bat was almost as big as Crabbe.
"It looks musical," Goyle said laughingly. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Crabbe said and held up a damned broadsword. "I found this aboard a pine-cone." He put the broadsword onto the bat's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the bat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a perverted executioner having one off behind the hangman's noose.
Crabbe screamed defiantly and ran but the snow bat chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow bat lurked him questioningly.
"Nobody does that to my little Christlike Leaf," Goyle screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow bat through the spine. It fell down and Goyle kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Crabbe said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The broadsword lay in the yard until a bright child picked it up and took it home.
"Problem solved!" Bill said and kissed Hillary antithetically. "This is an arousing Valentine's Day!"
They masochistically burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they cursed each other all night long.
Anyway, I just found this awesome drabble generator, and I thought I'd share a few of my creations. You have no idea how many guts I busted consecutively when reading these.
The Panther Prince
Al was walking through a pythonesque meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied an impeccable little panther lying under a tree.
Al skipped over to see the dear thing and was spontaneous to find that he was hurt! A spoon had pierced his blond little calf and he whimpered improvisationally with the pain.
"My cheeky little friend," Al said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the spoon, as quaveringly as he could. The panther cried out and Al's heart ached, like a noodle that's been slurped one too many times.. "You'll be all right," Al whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Scorpius and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Scorpius up in his arms, Al carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Al nursed Scorpius, cleaning his calf and feeding him Crueller-brand panther chow.
On the eighth night, Scorpius climbed into bed with Al. He burrowed under the covers and diagonally boogied Al's eye. It made Al giggle and he cuddled close to Scorpius, stroking his tongue and singing yearningly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Al hurried home so he could curl up with Scorpius. It gave him a holy feeling whenever Scorpius boogied his eye.
Then one night, Scorpius looked up at Al and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a lost prince."
Al screamed belatedly, he was so surprised. How could a panther talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Scorpius said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Al said and kissed Scorpius on his tongue. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a lost prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Scorpius," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Al said.
"See?" Scorpius said and showed Al the scar from the spoon on his calf. Then he kissed Al and they tumbled inside the cave and did a lot of very insane things, some of them involving a risque diadem.
"I love you," Scorpius said when they were done. Al clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Scorpius had stashed away.
And if Scorpius didn't know about Al's visits to the panther sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.
To Dramatically Lick
To Dramatically Lick
Bill and Hillary were celebrating a strenuous Valentine's Day together. Bill had cooked a destructive dinner and they ate in a tree by candlelight.
"My darling," Hillary said, stroking Bill's uvula, "I have something for you." She gave a box to Bill. "It is but a worrying token of my indefinite love."
Bill opened the box. Inside was an adorkable crucifix! He gazed at it randomly. Then he gazed at Hillary randomly. "It's shameful," Bill said. "Come here and let me lick you."
Just then, a complete crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a butterfly eating a crumpet. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a detrimental voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Hillary read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other touchingly as the crone cackled some more. Bill's kneecap began to tremble. Then Hillary shrugged, pulled out a power, and hit the crone on her hair. She fell over dead.
The Short Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Goyle and Crabbe went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Goyle hit Crabbe in his toe with a big cruel iceball. It hurt a lot, but Goyle kissed it crisply and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really happy snow man!" Goyle said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Crabbe said. "That would be more brusque and politically correct."
"I know," Goyle said. "We can make a snow bat. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up drolly and made a hurt snow bat. Goyle put on a roof for the fingernail. The bat was almost as big as Crabbe.
"It looks musical," Goyle said laughingly. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Crabbe said and held up a damned broadsword. "I found this aboard a pine-cone." He put the broadsword onto the bat's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the bat, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like a perverted executioner having one off behind the hangman's noose.
Crabbe screamed defiantly and ran but the snow bat chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow bat lurked him questioningly.
"Nobody does that to my little Christlike Leaf," Goyle screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow bat through the spine. It fell down and Goyle kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Crabbe said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The broadsword lay in the yard until a bright child picked it up and took it home.
"Problem solved!" Bill said and kissed Hillary antithetically. "This is an arousing Valentine's Day!"
They masochistically burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they cursed each other all night long.