Being stuck in the hospital is not fun ( Read more... )

I want a date.  I am 18, I just had emergency open-heart surgery this past week, and I have never been on a date ( Read more... )

Okay...so technically, it is past midnight, so it's supposedly Tuesday, the 5th.  However, since I have not yet slept, I still consider it Monday night.  So there...How do you like that one?!

Okay...Since I didn't fall asleep until around 6 am this morning, I watched the news before I drifted off, and what do I hear?  Steve Irwin died.

Now, of course ( Read more... )

So, it seems what I put here, I can usually not find my voice to vocalize it elsewhere.

I got wicked upset this morning, and I wrote this letter to my mom.  She'll never read it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Mom-

I’m glad you think you can just unload all of your mental shit on me. It’s the second morning you’ve woken up and decided to start your day off by telling me ( Read more... )

I have an appointment for an interview later today...

I hope I get it...

<3

So this is the song I have been listening to over and over again...I guess it's kind of like...I feel like it's something he should say to me...because I don't want to hate him...but I do want to...hating him would at least put a name to the way I feel...and make me more secure that I have any feelings for him at all...

Blue October - "Hate Me"

I ( Read more... )

August 14th, 2005.

You know...I just figured that for old times' sake, I should go back into my journal and see what I was doing last year at around this time.

The closest entry I had was for August 15th, 2005...

...announcing I had lost my virginity the day before.

So maybe I'm so caught up in worrying about the future...I don't stop to think of the ( Read more... )

All I have is hope...and I hope I don't lose hope.

What did I do? I asked someone out. I do care for him...I love him...since I first met him...I have.

I asked him out...something I don't think I've ever really done in the sense that I've said, "Will you go out with me?"

Maybe I'm just retarded...he lives in Vermont...how am I supposed to go up ( Read more... )

I don’t see myself as perfect, obviously.

Since I’m not, should I strive to be?

I mean, isn’t that what most people so…strive to be perfect?

I don’t think I should. While I know I’m not perfect, I am me.

I wouldn’t have done the things I’ve done, or met and become friends with the people I have, or anything.

Sure, my life has been fucked up. So is ( Read more... )

Where is the love ( Read more... )