Office Romances Ch 44/?
Title: Office Romances Chapter 44/?
Author: Bex81385
Pairing: House/Cameron
Rating: PG 13-R
Authors Note: I'm soo sorry for the long long time between updates. My little boy was in the hospital and I've been really preoccupied with the whole Christmas thing...
Authors Note 2: Happy Holidays!
Previous chapters can be found here...
Chapter 44
Ever since Cameron had moved herself into House's apartment Wilson had noticed a change in his friend. House was rarely away from her for more than a few hours at a time, and he never hung around the hospital after hours unless he absolutely had to. So when Wilson left the hospital at six, he was surprised to find House still sitting his office. One look into the office and he could tell something bad had happened. House's head was hanging low and his posture was tense, and uneasy. Years of being friends with House told him that this behavior wasn't good for anyone, let alone House. He sighed at the despondent doctor before pulling open the door and heading in to see what was wrong.
House heard the gentle swoosh of his office door and forced himself not to look up. If he didn't look up, then he didn't have to face the intruder. Still, part of him wanted to look, hoped to see Cameron on the other side, ready to come back and talk out the disastrous argument they'd had before she left, but the other part, the more powerful part, dreaded looking up and to see Cameron, ready to talk about things House wasn't sure he was prepared for yet. That part knew that at this point in the night, this far into the aggravation fighting with Cameron always led to, the only thing talking would accomplish was probably a bigger argument.
There was also the possibility that the person intruding on his personal reflection could be Stacy or Cuddy. Neither was a welcome presence; Stacy because he'd had his fill of her over the last week and she as beginning to grate on his last nerve, and Cuddy because he didn't feel like hearing yet another inquisition on his personal relationship with Cameron, or his hateful treatment of Stacy.
He let out a sigh of relief when he realized that there were no “click-clack” noises making their way through his office door. No clicking heels meant that it wasn't any of the women he was avoiding like the plague. Relief flooded through his veins and he finally allowed himself to spare a glance upwards when the footsteps stopped coming. He was met with Wilson and his pensive expression. “What are you still doing here?” House asked nosily.
Wilson looked down at the bare desk House was sitting behind, and then back out to the table in the conference room. It was piled with charts and some paperwork. Since Wilson knew House never did paperwork it was obvious that Cameron had swooped in and taken over the clerical workload. He turned his attention back to his friend and instead of answering House's question he simply shrugged. “I could ask you the same question,” he pointed out.
House carelessly shrugged back. “Cameron won't let me bring home a hooker, so I thought I'd meet up with her here,” he said with a straight face.
Wilson shook his head jovially. He was torn between wanting to be annoyed that the old House was back, and instantly missing the new House, the more mature House. Exasperation won out and Wilson sighed. “House...”
“What? All the commotion has died down now and just because Cameron is still staying with me doesn't mean I can't finally have some fun,” he said his voice full of false bravado.
Wilson scoffed. “Well, watching you with Cameron and Madelyn all week it sure looked like you were already having fun.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Jimmy, Cameron never lets me have any fun. In fact, she yelled at me for having fun today,” he admitted honestly.
“It's not like she's been in the partying mood lately, maybe you should cut her some slack,” he reasoned.
“I could but where would be the fun in that?” he questioned.
Wilson laughed slightly before returning to the serious expression he so often wore. “So what happened?”
House looked at Wilson in fake confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Don't play games with me House, something happened. I saw Cuddy this morning with Madelyn and she said that you and Cameron were still up in your office asleep. She mentioned that the two of you actually looked quite peaceful and happy.”
“Cuddy's delusional,” House snapped.
“See, that's what I thought too. I mean, you, happy. It didn't seem plausible, but then I saw you and Cameron for myself and I realized she was right. You did look happy, and Cameron, she looked calmer than I've seen her since she took in Madelyn.”
“Of course she's calmer, she's not being harassed by a lunatic wife beater anymore. It's got nothing to do with me.”
“I never said it did.” Wilson pointed out. “But then I saw Cameron storm out of here earlier, visibly upset. Now she's at the apartment and you're sitting here sulking in your office like a kicked puppy, so tell me what happened. Did you royally screw up?”
House glared bitterly. “Why do you assume I screwed up?”
Wilson laughed. “Because the alternative is that Cameron screwed up.”
“And...”
“And...” Wilson said shrugging his shoulders, “the alternative doesn't seem very likely.”
“Why not? Cameron screws up all the time,” he snapped defensively.
Wilson nodded. “Sure, ok, but did she this time?”
House sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Wilson that it had been his own stupidity that led him to sitting in the dark wishing he hadn't pissed Cameron off to the point where he wasn't sure he wanted to go home.“What do you think?” he asked instead knowing it would get the point across without forcing him to say it.
Wilson smiled delighted in the fact that he was right. “I think it finally happened...” he started.
“What finally happened?” House interrupted. This time his confusion was real.
“Either you finally admitted that you're far more gone on her than you'd like,” he said and then had added, “or you've done something you shouldn't have and you're worried she won't want you anymore.”
House sighed and looked at the ground. He didn't know what to say. Nothing he could think of wouldn't incriminate him in the slightest.
Wilson took in House's hopeless expression and his inability to answer him, with wide eyes. “Or both.” he said with realization. “What did you do House?”
“I didn't do anything.” House sniped aggravated with the assumption that whenever something went bad it was always his fault.
“House...” Wilson drawled unconvincingly.
“All I did was the exact same thing she did. I used her, like she used me, to make Stacy mad. And for some reason she, unlike me, took offense to it,” he admitted.
“Are you kidding me?” Wilson asked incredulously.
“Um... no,” he said with boredom.
“Of course she took offense with it. Stacy was your ex, not hers.”
“What does that even mean?” he asked his voice full of a strange mixture of true questioning and annoyance.
“You know for someone so smart, you sure are stupid.” Wilson exclaimed joyfully. “If she uses you to irritate Stacy it's fine because she's never had any obligation to Stacy; her sole reason is making Stacy angry. But if you use Cameron to get to Stacy it's very easy for anyone to assume your primary goal is to make your ex lover jealous, not angry.”
“That's ridiculous,” House snapped.
“No, it's really not, House. You know where Cameron's head is at. You've always known. She's had feelings for you since day one, but you, you're an enigma. No one knows where your head is at. The only person anyone has ever known you to really love and care about shows back up and it's obvious that despite the fact she's married, she's still interested in you. Cameron would have to be insane not to assume you were using her to try and win Stacy back,” Wilson reasoned.
House shook his head quickly. “I haven't done anything to make Stacy think she still has a chance with me.”
“True,” Wilson admitted.
“Not to mention the fact that I haven't left Cameron's side in weeks. She's living with me. I let her sleep in my bed while I sleep on that pathetic couch,” he argued.
“So you're saying that after all that she should know where your head is at?” Wilson asked curiously.
“No...”
“I mean as far as I'm concerned that sounded suspiciously like you just admitted you wanted to be with Cameron.”
“That is not what I said,” House hissed.
The distressed look on his friends face entertained him mercilessly. Wilson smiled widely and shook his head. “You really didn't have to,” he said laughing heartily. “You really didn't have to,” he repeated before shuffling out of the room grinning from ear to ear and leaving the misogynistic doctor once again alone with his thoughts.
xxxxxx
It didn't take long after Wilson left for House to realize that his friend was probably right. Even if it was unintentional, he was sending out mixed signals to Cameron. Holding her in his arms at night or comforting her when she cried, then shoving her in Stacy's face like some damned trophy. Cameron didn't deserve it, and he regretted letting her leave the hospital angry earlier.
He knew that he needed to say something to her when he got home, something to fix the mess he'd created with that kiss, that one brief flirtation with what it was he really wanted. However, his cowardice was working in overdrive and he couldn't bring himself to leave the hospital until he knew for sure she'd be asleep.
He limped through the door and was met with the glow of candlelight and a sleeping Cameron on the couch, a book resting lightly on her chest. The baby monitor sat silent next to a newspaper with at least six classified ads circled in red. He contemplated throwing the paper away, forcing her to start from scratch but decided against it. Instead he simply sighed sadly at the proof that she was in fact still planning on leaving and left the ads where they laid.
He wandered back into his room to check on the baby. His heart dropped down to his stomach as he realized just how much he would miss her, miss them both, when Cameron moved out. He wrapped the blanket tighter around her tiny body, making sure the blanket provided all the warmth it was supposed to. He let his hand linger on the side of the infant's face lovingly before leaving the room.
He walked slowly back out to the living room, with the intention of blowing out the candles, book marking Cameron's book and covering her up as well. He had just picked up her book when a knock on the door caused him to stop dead in his tracks. He made his way over the door confused by who it could be. He'd already had the lecture from Wilson and he couldn't imagine Cuddy having any reason to just show up. He looked through the peep hole, a habit he'd long since picked up years ago and groaned inwardly as he saw who his visitor was, Stacy.
There was no way he wanted to see her right now, especially not in his apartment with Cameron sleeping not even 30 feet away. He contemplated simply following through on his initial intentions and not answering the door, but before he could even attempt to follow through on it, the knock came again, this time louder than the first. He glared at the door as he heard a cry come over the baby monitor.
He reached out and turned the monitor off quickly, not wanting the crying to disturb Cameron. The last thing he wanted was for Cameron to wake up and find Stacy in his apartment. He moved over the door quickly and opened it. He spared a glance at Stacy, hissed, “Stay here,” and headed back to his room to check on the baby.
Stacy watched from the doorway as House limped back into his room only to come back out moments later with a baby curled in him arms. She watched him closely, her head tilted to the side as he coddled and soothed the tiny bundle. She'd never seen him so gentle with anyone, so dedicated to the care and welfare of anyone other than himself. It was obvious he loved the little girl.
She couldn't help but wonder what had changed so drastically in her ex between now and when they were together. Even before the infarction, House had never seemed like he'd ever want kids. She'd never even allowed herself to think about it. Now watching House with the little girl, she felt her eyes burn with tears as she realized that maybe she'd been wrong all along; maybe he just hadn't wanted to have children with her.
House looked over at the doorway and saw Stacy watching him. A nervous feeling rushed through him and he was suddenly extremely uncomfortable with the way she was looking at him. He wrapped his arms around the delicate bundle protectively. “What are you doing here?” he asked quietly before turning his attention towards Cameron to make sure she was still sleeping.
Stacy watched as his eyes flitted nervously in the direction of the couch. She followed his gaze and felt a wash of sorrow rush over her as she saw Cameron. It wasn't like she hadn't expected to see her there, she knew Cameron had to be somewhere in the apartment if the baby was there, but seeing Cameron on the couch felt like a punch in the stomach. “I need to talk to you,” she said delicately, not trusting her own voice one bit.
House nodded. He knew she probably thought she did, and he wasn't looking forward to anything she had to say. Still, he needed to talk to her as well. He needed to make sure she knew there was no future for them. “Yeah, ok, fine, I want to talk to you, too,” he told her begrudgingly.
He looked down at the sleeping girl and smiled warmly. “Just give me a minute,” he said before opening the door further and letting her in. Once she was through the doorway, he pointed at Cameron. “Do not wake her up,” he demanded.
Stacy nodded, even though she had no intention of waking up the other female, and watched as House moved back into the room she knew was his, cradling the little girl in his arms. She saw the baby monitor sitting silent on the table and reached for it. Holding it in her hand she realized that she wasn't sure why she'd picked it up. She knew it would be wrong to pry on a private, personal moment between House and the baby girl but her interest overtook her and she turned it on.
House laid the infant down gently, readjusted the blanket once more and then looked at her. On the way back to his room she'd woken up and was now lying silent in her bed. She smiled up at him, her eyes locking directly onto his. If he didn't know it was medically impossible he'd have sworn his heart stopped when her tiny hand reached up and wrapped around his finger. “I'm not going anywhere, Mads,” he told her soothingly. “Thats it...” he whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, “go back to sleep.”
He knew he should walk away, go back out to Stacy and get rid of her but he couldn't seem to tear himself away from the little girl. He didn't know how he'd gotten so attached to her, but he had. He frowned slightly when she finally released his finger and decided it was time to go back out and deal with Stacy. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “Sleep tight,” he whispered before finally leaving the room.
Upon reentering the living room he saw Stacy standing by the table, an active baby monitor in hand. “Really Stacy, you were snooping on my conversation with a baby?” he sniped. He looked over at Cameron to make sure all was well and noticed her shiver slightly. He quickly moved to cover her up with the blanket lying on the back of the couch. She sighed, contented with the warmth and a shiver ran down his spine.
He looked back over at Stacy who was still clutching the baby monitor in her hand and had tears in her eyes. He took the monitor out of her hand and placed it back on the table. He stood silent, waiting for her to speak, to give him some kind of idea as to why she was here. He was beginning to think she wasn't going to say anything and was about to chastise her for wasting his time when she finally spoke.
“I'm too late,” she said solemnly.
House looked at her strangely. “What?”
Stacy brushed her hair out of her face. She let her hand linger around her eyes and quickly wipe away the tears. She'd seen it the first time she'd seem the two of them together, and she didn't understand why it had taken her so long to just accept it. She was being naïve and she realized now that it was ridiculous and had to end. “You really have moved on haven't you?”
“Stace...” he muttered unsure of what to say. It was rare to see Stacy so unguarded, so vulnerable and he wasn't sure he was any more comfortable with it than she was.
“There's no chance for us at all is there?” she asked meekly. She immediately reprimanded herself for her tone. Stacy Warner did not do meek, but standing in his apartment, watching him cradle Cameron's niece, being a bystander to a kinder and gentler Greg House than she'd ever seen and seeing it directed towards someone other than herself, all she felt was meek. She hated it, but that was the way it was.
House looked at Stacy for a brief moment and then let his eyes fall to Cameron. He smiled slightly as she shifted on the couch, her face now in plain sight, a gentle smile formed on her lips as well. He heard Mads coo in the baby monitor and he knew without a doubt that this was what he wanted. Any lingering doubts or feelings he had where Stacy was concerned, even the ones he still wasn't convinced he had, melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day.
He looked back at Stacy, the frown on her face deeper than he'd ever seen. “No, there's not,” he told her confidently.
Stacy just stared back, unsure of what to say, not trusting her vocal chords to actually produce sound even if she did.
“You caused too much damage, Stacy, and I'm just now finding someone to fix it; someone capable of picking up the pieces and putting them back in the right order. I won't... I refuse to let you ruin it.”
“But we...” she finally managed.
House shook his head. “There are no buts here Stacy. And there certainly isn't a ‘we’ that includes you and me. You left, you got married and I moved on. I'm allowed to do that.”
Stacy sighed. She knew he was right, but she didn't want him to be. She wanted him to tell her that he still loved her; that she was still the one person in the world he wanted to share his life with. However, judging by the look on his face she knew he would never be able to tell her things she wanted to hear. “I should go,” she said finally done with embarrassing herself.
House nodded. “Yes, you should,” he agreed. He moved over to the door and opened it for her.
She sucked in a deep breath and made her way to the door. She stopped midway through the exit and turned back to look at him. “Are you in love with her?” she asked, throwing out the last ditch effort.
House blushed before he could stop himself. He looked back over to Cameron for a long moment before turning his attention back to Stacy. “I'm not sure,” he said honestly.
“Well then how can you...” she sputtered.
“I'm not sure I'm in love with her, but I care about her. She's important to me. She's more than a colleague and she's more than a friend.”
“But if you don't love her...”
“I didn't say I didn't love her,” he said forcefully. “What I said was that I wasn't sure if I was in love with her. I do love her. Next to my mother and Wilson, she's the most important person in my life.”
Stacy remained silent, unsure of where to go from there.
“I don't intend to let anyone come between the two of us, least of all you.”
“Do you really think you're prepared to go from eternal bachelor to family man? I mean that little girl will probably end up thinking of you as her father.”
House nodded. “I know that.” He'd been thinking about that a lot lately. He thought he would have been more uncomfortable with the idea, but honestly every time she smiled at him, every time she reached out for him, more and more he became comfortable with the idea. It was no secret how he felt about Madelyn.
“And you're ok with that?” Stacy questioned.
“Yes,” he answered simply. “I love that little girl, and if she ends up thinking of me as her father, I'll feel nothing but honored,” he said honestly.
Stacy sighed and realized that she'd been beat. House had no intention of ever giving her a second chance. He was too far gone on the concept of starting a family with Allison Cameron and no one would ever hold a candle to her. It was time for her to bow out gracefully before she lost anymore of her dignity. "Goodbye Greg," she said softly before turning and passing the rest of the way through the door. She didn't hear him respond and it didn't surprise her when she turned back to face the door it was already shut.
Author: Bex81385
Pairing: House/Cameron
Rating: PG 13-R
Authors Note: I'm soo sorry for the long long time between updates. My little boy was in the hospital and I've been really preoccupied with the whole Christmas thing...
Authors Note 2: Happy Holidays!
Previous chapters can be found here...
Chapter 44
Ever since Cameron had moved herself into House's apartment Wilson had noticed a change in his friend. House was rarely away from her for more than a few hours at a time, and he never hung around the hospital after hours unless he absolutely had to. So when Wilson left the hospital at six, he was surprised to find House still sitting his office. One look into the office and he could tell something bad had happened. House's head was hanging low and his posture was tense, and uneasy. Years of being friends with House told him that this behavior wasn't good for anyone, let alone House. He sighed at the despondent doctor before pulling open the door and heading in to see what was wrong.
House heard the gentle swoosh of his office door and forced himself not to look up. If he didn't look up, then he didn't have to face the intruder. Still, part of him wanted to look, hoped to see Cameron on the other side, ready to come back and talk out the disastrous argument they'd had before she left, but the other part, the more powerful part, dreaded looking up and to see Cameron, ready to talk about things House wasn't sure he was prepared for yet. That part knew that at this point in the night, this far into the aggravation fighting with Cameron always led to, the only thing talking would accomplish was probably a bigger argument.
There was also the possibility that the person intruding on his personal reflection could be Stacy or Cuddy. Neither was a welcome presence; Stacy because he'd had his fill of her over the last week and she as beginning to grate on his last nerve, and Cuddy because he didn't feel like hearing yet another inquisition on his personal relationship with Cameron, or his hateful treatment of Stacy.
He let out a sigh of relief when he realized that there were no “click-clack” noises making their way through his office door. No clicking heels meant that it wasn't any of the women he was avoiding like the plague. Relief flooded through his veins and he finally allowed himself to spare a glance upwards when the footsteps stopped coming. He was met with Wilson and his pensive expression. “What are you still doing here?” House asked nosily.
Wilson looked down at the bare desk House was sitting behind, and then back out to the table in the conference room. It was piled with charts and some paperwork. Since Wilson knew House never did paperwork it was obvious that Cameron had swooped in and taken over the clerical workload. He turned his attention back to his friend and instead of answering House's question he simply shrugged. “I could ask you the same question,” he pointed out.
House carelessly shrugged back. “Cameron won't let me bring home a hooker, so I thought I'd meet up with her here,” he said with a straight face.
Wilson shook his head jovially. He was torn between wanting to be annoyed that the old House was back, and instantly missing the new House, the more mature House. Exasperation won out and Wilson sighed. “House...”
“What? All the commotion has died down now and just because Cameron is still staying with me doesn't mean I can't finally have some fun,” he said his voice full of false bravado.
Wilson scoffed. “Well, watching you with Cameron and Madelyn all week it sure looked like you were already having fun.”
“Don't be ridiculous, Jimmy, Cameron never lets me have any fun. In fact, she yelled at me for having fun today,” he admitted honestly.
“It's not like she's been in the partying mood lately, maybe you should cut her some slack,” he reasoned.
“I could but where would be the fun in that?” he questioned.
Wilson laughed slightly before returning to the serious expression he so often wore. “So what happened?”
House looked at Wilson in fake confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Don't play games with me House, something happened. I saw Cuddy this morning with Madelyn and she said that you and Cameron were still up in your office asleep. She mentioned that the two of you actually looked quite peaceful and happy.”
“Cuddy's delusional,” House snapped.
“See, that's what I thought too. I mean, you, happy. It didn't seem plausible, but then I saw you and Cameron for myself and I realized she was right. You did look happy, and Cameron, she looked calmer than I've seen her since she took in Madelyn.”
“Of course she's calmer, she's not being harassed by a lunatic wife beater anymore. It's got nothing to do with me.”
“I never said it did.” Wilson pointed out. “But then I saw Cameron storm out of here earlier, visibly upset. Now she's at the apartment and you're sitting here sulking in your office like a kicked puppy, so tell me what happened. Did you royally screw up?”
House glared bitterly. “Why do you assume I screwed up?”
Wilson laughed. “Because the alternative is that Cameron screwed up.”
“And...”
“And...” Wilson said shrugging his shoulders, “the alternative doesn't seem very likely.”
“Why not? Cameron screws up all the time,” he snapped defensively.
Wilson nodded. “Sure, ok, but did she this time?”
House sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Wilson that it had been his own stupidity that led him to sitting in the dark wishing he hadn't pissed Cameron off to the point where he wasn't sure he wanted to go home.“What do you think?” he asked instead knowing it would get the point across without forcing him to say it.
Wilson smiled delighted in the fact that he was right. “I think it finally happened...” he started.
“What finally happened?” House interrupted. This time his confusion was real.
“Either you finally admitted that you're far more gone on her than you'd like,” he said and then had added, “or you've done something you shouldn't have and you're worried she won't want you anymore.”
House sighed and looked at the ground. He didn't know what to say. Nothing he could think of wouldn't incriminate him in the slightest.
Wilson took in House's hopeless expression and his inability to answer him, with wide eyes. “Or both.” he said with realization. “What did you do House?”
“I didn't do anything.” House sniped aggravated with the assumption that whenever something went bad it was always his fault.
“House...” Wilson drawled unconvincingly.
“All I did was the exact same thing she did. I used her, like she used me, to make Stacy mad. And for some reason she, unlike me, took offense to it,” he admitted.
“Are you kidding me?” Wilson asked incredulously.
“Um... no,” he said with boredom.
“Of course she took offense with it. Stacy was your ex, not hers.”
“What does that even mean?” he asked his voice full of a strange mixture of true questioning and annoyance.
“You know for someone so smart, you sure are stupid.” Wilson exclaimed joyfully. “If she uses you to irritate Stacy it's fine because she's never had any obligation to Stacy; her sole reason is making Stacy angry. But if you use Cameron to get to Stacy it's very easy for anyone to assume your primary goal is to make your ex lover jealous, not angry.”
“That's ridiculous,” House snapped.
“No, it's really not, House. You know where Cameron's head is at. You've always known. She's had feelings for you since day one, but you, you're an enigma. No one knows where your head is at. The only person anyone has ever known you to really love and care about shows back up and it's obvious that despite the fact she's married, she's still interested in you. Cameron would have to be insane not to assume you were using her to try and win Stacy back,” Wilson reasoned.
House shook his head quickly. “I haven't done anything to make Stacy think she still has a chance with me.”
“True,” Wilson admitted.
“Not to mention the fact that I haven't left Cameron's side in weeks. She's living with me. I let her sleep in my bed while I sleep on that pathetic couch,” he argued.
“So you're saying that after all that she should know where your head is at?” Wilson asked curiously.
“No...”
“I mean as far as I'm concerned that sounded suspiciously like you just admitted you wanted to be with Cameron.”
“That is not what I said,” House hissed.
The distressed look on his friends face entertained him mercilessly. Wilson smiled widely and shook his head. “You really didn't have to,” he said laughing heartily. “You really didn't have to,” he repeated before shuffling out of the room grinning from ear to ear and leaving the misogynistic doctor once again alone with his thoughts.
xxxxxx
It didn't take long after Wilson left for House to realize that his friend was probably right. Even if it was unintentional, he was sending out mixed signals to Cameron. Holding her in his arms at night or comforting her when she cried, then shoving her in Stacy's face like some damned trophy. Cameron didn't deserve it, and he regretted letting her leave the hospital angry earlier.
He knew that he needed to say something to her when he got home, something to fix the mess he'd created with that kiss, that one brief flirtation with what it was he really wanted. However, his cowardice was working in overdrive and he couldn't bring himself to leave the hospital until he knew for sure she'd be asleep.
He limped through the door and was met with the glow of candlelight and a sleeping Cameron on the couch, a book resting lightly on her chest. The baby monitor sat silent next to a newspaper with at least six classified ads circled in red. He contemplated throwing the paper away, forcing her to start from scratch but decided against it. Instead he simply sighed sadly at the proof that she was in fact still planning on leaving and left the ads where they laid.
He wandered back into his room to check on the baby. His heart dropped down to his stomach as he realized just how much he would miss her, miss them both, when Cameron moved out. He wrapped the blanket tighter around her tiny body, making sure the blanket provided all the warmth it was supposed to. He let his hand linger on the side of the infant's face lovingly before leaving the room.
He walked slowly back out to the living room, with the intention of blowing out the candles, book marking Cameron's book and covering her up as well. He had just picked up her book when a knock on the door caused him to stop dead in his tracks. He made his way over the door confused by who it could be. He'd already had the lecture from Wilson and he couldn't imagine Cuddy having any reason to just show up. He looked through the peep hole, a habit he'd long since picked up years ago and groaned inwardly as he saw who his visitor was, Stacy.
There was no way he wanted to see her right now, especially not in his apartment with Cameron sleeping not even 30 feet away. He contemplated simply following through on his initial intentions and not answering the door, but before he could even attempt to follow through on it, the knock came again, this time louder than the first. He glared at the door as he heard a cry come over the baby monitor.
He reached out and turned the monitor off quickly, not wanting the crying to disturb Cameron. The last thing he wanted was for Cameron to wake up and find Stacy in his apartment. He moved over the door quickly and opened it. He spared a glance at Stacy, hissed, “Stay here,” and headed back to his room to check on the baby.
Stacy watched from the doorway as House limped back into his room only to come back out moments later with a baby curled in him arms. She watched him closely, her head tilted to the side as he coddled and soothed the tiny bundle. She'd never seen him so gentle with anyone, so dedicated to the care and welfare of anyone other than himself. It was obvious he loved the little girl.
She couldn't help but wonder what had changed so drastically in her ex between now and when they were together. Even before the infarction, House had never seemed like he'd ever want kids. She'd never even allowed herself to think about it. Now watching House with the little girl, she felt her eyes burn with tears as she realized that maybe she'd been wrong all along; maybe he just hadn't wanted to have children with her.
House looked over at the doorway and saw Stacy watching him. A nervous feeling rushed through him and he was suddenly extremely uncomfortable with the way she was looking at him. He wrapped his arms around the delicate bundle protectively. “What are you doing here?” he asked quietly before turning his attention towards Cameron to make sure she was still sleeping.
Stacy watched as his eyes flitted nervously in the direction of the couch. She followed his gaze and felt a wash of sorrow rush over her as she saw Cameron. It wasn't like she hadn't expected to see her there, she knew Cameron had to be somewhere in the apartment if the baby was there, but seeing Cameron on the couch felt like a punch in the stomach. “I need to talk to you,” she said delicately, not trusting her own voice one bit.
House nodded. He knew she probably thought she did, and he wasn't looking forward to anything she had to say. Still, he needed to talk to her as well. He needed to make sure she knew there was no future for them. “Yeah, ok, fine, I want to talk to you, too,” he told her begrudgingly.
He looked down at the sleeping girl and smiled warmly. “Just give me a minute,” he said before opening the door further and letting her in. Once she was through the doorway, he pointed at Cameron. “Do not wake her up,” he demanded.
Stacy nodded, even though she had no intention of waking up the other female, and watched as House moved back into the room she knew was his, cradling the little girl in his arms. She saw the baby monitor sitting silent on the table and reached for it. Holding it in her hand she realized that she wasn't sure why she'd picked it up. She knew it would be wrong to pry on a private, personal moment between House and the baby girl but her interest overtook her and she turned it on.
House laid the infant down gently, readjusted the blanket once more and then looked at her. On the way back to his room she'd woken up and was now lying silent in her bed. She smiled up at him, her eyes locking directly onto his. If he didn't know it was medically impossible he'd have sworn his heart stopped when her tiny hand reached up and wrapped around his finger. “I'm not going anywhere, Mads,” he told her soothingly. “Thats it...” he whispered as her eyes fluttered shut, “go back to sleep.”
He knew he should walk away, go back out to Stacy and get rid of her but he couldn't seem to tear himself away from the little girl. He didn't know how he'd gotten so attached to her, but he had. He frowned slightly when she finally released his finger and decided it was time to go back out and deal with Stacy. He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “Sleep tight,” he whispered before finally leaving the room.
Upon reentering the living room he saw Stacy standing by the table, an active baby monitor in hand. “Really Stacy, you were snooping on my conversation with a baby?” he sniped. He looked over at Cameron to make sure all was well and noticed her shiver slightly. He quickly moved to cover her up with the blanket lying on the back of the couch. She sighed, contented with the warmth and a shiver ran down his spine.
He looked back over at Stacy who was still clutching the baby monitor in her hand and had tears in her eyes. He took the monitor out of her hand and placed it back on the table. He stood silent, waiting for her to speak, to give him some kind of idea as to why she was here. He was beginning to think she wasn't going to say anything and was about to chastise her for wasting his time when she finally spoke.
“I'm too late,” she said solemnly.
House looked at her strangely. “What?”
Stacy brushed her hair out of her face. She let her hand linger around her eyes and quickly wipe away the tears. She'd seen it the first time she'd seem the two of them together, and she didn't understand why it had taken her so long to just accept it. She was being naïve and she realized now that it was ridiculous and had to end. “You really have moved on haven't you?”
“Stace...” he muttered unsure of what to say. It was rare to see Stacy so unguarded, so vulnerable and he wasn't sure he was any more comfortable with it than she was.
“There's no chance for us at all is there?” she asked meekly. She immediately reprimanded herself for her tone. Stacy Warner did not do meek, but standing in his apartment, watching him cradle Cameron's niece, being a bystander to a kinder and gentler Greg House than she'd ever seen and seeing it directed towards someone other than herself, all she felt was meek. She hated it, but that was the way it was.
House looked at Stacy for a brief moment and then let his eyes fall to Cameron. He smiled slightly as she shifted on the couch, her face now in plain sight, a gentle smile formed on her lips as well. He heard Mads coo in the baby monitor and he knew without a doubt that this was what he wanted. Any lingering doubts or feelings he had where Stacy was concerned, even the ones he still wasn't convinced he had, melted away like ice cream on a hot summer day.
He looked back at Stacy, the frown on her face deeper than he'd ever seen. “No, there's not,” he told her confidently.
Stacy just stared back, unsure of what to say, not trusting her vocal chords to actually produce sound even if she did.
“You caused too much damage, Stacy, and I'm just now finding someone to fix it; someone capable of picking up the pieces and putting them back in the right order. I won't... I refuse to let you ruin it.”
“But we...” she finally managed.
House shook his head. “There are no buts here Stacy. And there certainly isn't a ‘we’ that includes you and me. You left, you got married and I moved on. I'm allowed to do that.”
Stacy sighed. She knew he was right, but she didn't want him to be. She wanted him to tell her that he still loved her; that she was still the one person in the world he wanted to share his life with. However, judging by the look on his face she knew he would never be able to tell her things she wanted to hear. “I should go,” she said finally done with embarrassing herself.
House nodded. “Yes, you should,” he agreed. He moved over to the door and opened it for her.
She sucked in a deep breath and made her way to the door. She stopped midway through the exit and turned back to look at him. “Are you in love with her?” she asked, throwing out the last ditch effort.
House blushed before he could stop himself. He looked back over to Cameron for a long moment before turning his attention back to Stacy. “I'm not sure,” he said honestly.
“Well then how can you...” she sputtered.
“I'm not sure I'm in love with her, but I care about her. She's important to me. She's more than a colleague and she's more than a friend.”
“But if you don't love her...”
“I didn't say I didn't love her,” he said forcefully. “What I said was that I wasn't sure if I was in love with her. I do love her. Next to my mother and Wilson, she's the most important person in my life.”
Stacy remained silent, unsure of where to go from there.
“I don't intend to let anyone come between the two of us, least of all you.”
“Do you really think you're prepared to go from eternal bachelor to family man? I mean that little girl will probably end up thinking of you as her father.”
House nodded. “I know that.” He'd been thinking about that a lot lately. He thought he would have been more uncomfortable with the idea, but honestly every time she smiled at him, every time she reached out for him, more and more he became comfortable with the idea. It was no secret how he felt about Madelyn.
“And you're ok with that?” Stacy questioned.
“Yes,” he answered simply. “I love that little girl, and if she ends up thinking of me as her father, I'll feel nothing but honored,” he said honestly.
Stacy sighed and realized that she'd been beat. House had no intention of ever giving her a second chance. He was too far gone on the concept of starting a family with Allison Cameron and no one would ever hold a candle to her. It was time for her to bow out gracefully before she lost anymore of her dignity. "Goodbye Greg," she said softly before turning and passing the rest of the way through the door. She didn't hear him respond and it didn't surprise her when she turned back to face the door it was already shut.