(no subject)
Yeah, I am in one weird type of mood. I think a lot of it has to do
with the fact that I didn't sleep at all last night (and yet, I am
strangely wired right now).
John turned 21 today, well sort of last night, you know... except he was in Las Vegas, without me, and having a blast. And I ended up with a combination of extreme anxiety and complete loneliness which has kept me awake for about 30 hours now.
He called me periodically throughout the night to tell me how much fun he was having, and that he missed me, and that he wasn't TOO drunk. But I think it might have actually made me feel worse.
At about 9am here (7am there) He was talking to me, telling me how much he loved me, and getting ready to finally go to bed. He seemed pretty drunk because he was talking really fast and saying the same things over and over, but it was sort of nice to hear him saying he loved me. I mentioned something about my cousin leaving today and... whoop, John looses his senses.
I guess I hadn't mentioned that my cousin and her friend visited my sister this weekend and spent the entire time with my sister. You know, it just wasn't all that relevant to me... But apparently he felt that I was keeping things from him, and then vaguely accused me of cheating. Honestly! I was really hurt, and on top of being exhausted and anxious, well, it just was not good.
I'm still really, very hurt now when I think about it. Even though after explaining everything to him multiple times, he seemed to grudgingly say that he trusted me, and ended everything with apologies and "I love you"s.
But honestly, GEEZ! Here I am, completely trusting him as he celebrates his 21st all night in Las Vegas. Fully aware that he is intoxicated and being hit on be tons of other intoxicated, slutty girls. And telling him how glad I am that he is having a good time, and then he starts accusing me of cheating on him!... Because I didn't mention that my cousin was visiting my sister!
Okay, I'm sorry, but I am just really, really hurt. Plus, I am really, really tired.
I really want my parents to come home soon. They've been gone camping for a week and I'm getting lonely. And I really want John to come home so I can just hug him and cry.
PS. Juno is the very best dog in the world. She heard me sniffling to myself, on the edge of tears, from 3 rooms away, and came over and put her head in my lap.
John turned 21 today, well sort of last night, you know... except he was in Las Vegas, without me, and having a blast. And I ended up with a combination of extreme anxiety and complete loneliness which has kept me awake for about 30 hours now.
He called me periodically throughout the night to tell me how much fun he was having, and that he missed me, and that he wasn't TOO drunk. But I think it might have actually made me feel worse.
At about 9am here (7am there) He was talking to me, telling me how much he loved me, and getting ready to finally go to bed. He seemed pretty drunk because he was talking really fast and saying the same things over and over, but it was sort of nice to hear him saying he loved me. I mentioned something about my cousin leaving today and... whoop, John looses his senses.
I guess I hadn't mentioned that my cousin and her friend visited my sister this weekend and spent the entire time with my sister. You know, it just wasn't all that relevant to me... But apparently he felt that I was keeping things from him, and then vaguely accused me of cheating. Honestly! I was really hurt, and on top of being exhausted and anxious, well, it just was not good.
I'm still really, very hurt now when I think about it. Even though after explaining everything to him multiple times, he seemed to grudgingly say that he trusted me, and ended everything with apologies and "I love you"s.
But honestly, GEEZ! Here I am, completely trusting him as he celebrates his 21st all night in Las Vegas. Fully aware that he is intoxicated and being hit on be tons of other intoxicated, slutty girls. And telling him how glad I am that he is having a good time, and then he starts accusing me of cheating on him!... Because I didn't mention that my cousin was visiting my sister!
Okay, I'm sorry, but I am just really, really hurt. Plus, I am really, really tired.
I really want my parents to come home soon. They've been gone camping for a week and I'm getting lonely. And I really want John to come home so I can just hug him and cry.
PS. Juno is the very best dog in the world. She heard me sniffling to myself, on the edge of tears, from 3 rooms away, and came over and put her head in my lap.