I can feel spring creeping in though the snow is holdin on strong. Sometimes I feel sad at this time of year but I am not sure if I will this time. I slept for four hours today in the middle of the day and doin that always makes the days seems mixed up. LIke there is no division it is all just time. But I think we need the breaks in between, the ( Read more... )

I have never done anything ( Read more... )

Why do we search and search for answers we already know? Why do we seek to expain,life when we can feel it pouring out of us in everything we do. Maybe instead of trying to figure out why we have the powers we do, the special gift of being alive, we should use it. Use the energy to direct where we want it to go. Why do we not do experiments in our ( Read more... )

My heart is a wooden door. Oak maybe, with ornate things, hidden things scrawled across it, like the western wind. And I want to feel someone pound back against it. Cause I never really woke up this mourning. Over what? A sunrise, cause it didnt. You can feel something. And you can FEEEEL it. You can touch something with the tips of those fingers, ( Read more... )

Last night I dressed as a dream for the party. I drew moons and dots on my face and wrapped a scarf aroung my head. I wore dangly earrings and an orange shirt for a skirt with bright purple tights. They were serving alchohol which tasted like cough syrup. There were many people there- Frida, Oprah, a rat, yes, so on. There was a punk band playing ( Read more... )

Aren't there so many things to work on? So many different strategies for each day we leave along the side of the trail like banana peels. And whenever I cannot accept somthing. Want to exclude it, I will try to absorb it into shrinking and expanding orb of my perception. Because denying those me's makes me sad and feel like hiding. I want to hold ( Read more... )

My day started off shaky cause I had too much coffee (I am oddly sensitive lately, or maybe just was all along and didn't notice it before, but I wish I had cause I felt so weird in 12th grade). But then I chopped wood with a maul and the boys for a while and felt pretty damn proud until I had to give up cause the logs got too big. But I like being ( Read more... )

I have 6 page paper to write to night, and I can't stop noticing bodies. And feeling a feeling in my stomach like melting ice, slipping into the longing again, which jerks you around at its mercy, and yet it fuels you. It gives me a kind of energy which I tend to discount, but if you use it you pay a price. The flipside of beauty, which is the ( Read more... )

We are all just angry monkeys trying so hard to be polite to each other. So high heels are dumb cause they are just to prove how unmonkey we are cause we can not only walk upright, but on tiny little spikes. Someone once said to me that humans are probably the ugliest animals ever cause we are all naked and ratlike and dont have any nice soft fur.

I feel itching on the inside of my body. A grinding that drives the force of time. The movement. It is like I never feel satified with things as they are. Need to add or subtract. (It is not like I never feel happy, but I am only describing a certain level which I have been frequenting) So I mill around trying to distract myself. And sometimes it ( Read more... )