The In-between
In moments like this one, the inclination is to analyze the past. To analyze our choices and the patterns which dictate them. When I think about the people in my life who I have fallen in love with, I wonder: can I identify a pattern? A trend? An essence? What are the qualities I find attractive? What do I fall in love with? Who do I fall in love with?
Gentle.
Handsome.
Beautiful.
Passionate.
Independent.
I think of:
Scott and his skirts and poetry.
Patty and her strong, defiant hands.
Shira and her dark, dark eyebrows and piercing, piercing eyes.
Eve and her towering figure, her calm, confident words.
Andrew and his pretty face, his pretty eyes and his pretty, pretty hair.
Jay and his girlish waist, his wispy, eager body.
Dirk and his gentle smile, his even gentler eyes.
And, Anna...yes, I think of Anna. I think of her...her everything. The everything I don't dare to hope I will ever really know. Am fairly certain I will never know.
I fall in love with men and women. I fall in love with both and neither. I fall in love with the person. The masculine and the feminine. The mix that is cleverly combined. The exquisite cocktail. I fall in love with the in-between.