We are the Best Absolute Powers! [1/2]
Title: We are the Best Absolute Powers!
Pairing: Jongup/Junhong
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17k
Summary: Moon Jongup. 18 years old. Dance. Busy sorting out love and other teenager worries. And, oh yeah. Saving the world.
A/N: written for fearnoworld for thebrowniebunch fic exchange! I combined two prompts and hopefully you like the result ^^
Being a superhero is not all it's cracked up to be, Jongup thinks as his face is nearly smashed in by a brick. He could blame the bad visibility due to the torrential storm, but the truth is that he had been zoning out completely. To be fair that is quite normal for him, but not quite so during a battle. His fast reflexes save his nose and the brick passes it by a hair’s width. He looks up, wiping his rain-soaked hair from his eyes, refocusing on the beast they are trying to quell.
Ironically, it is the monster’s fault that he was distracted in the first place. Jongup thinks the monster is beautiful in an odd, perverse sort of way. It has ebony-feathered wings reminiscent of a giant raven, a dragon-like neck with glittering black scales that are even more brilliant in the rain, and a majestic head ending in a beak that could slice through the durable town buildings they are fighting amongst.
The town has been built to withstand attacks from a variety of much smaller beasts, but its buildings break apart easily under the crushing force of the giant clawed talons. Jongup has never seen a monster so big, and it fascinates him. The bomb shelters should still be safe from its reach, though, and that’s where all the townspeople have evacuated.
Daehyun, fall back, Yongguk says via his telepathic connection to them all, directing it to the second of the team’s three ground units, and their only weapon-wielder. Jongup has no idea where Daehyun is, but he figures Daehyun has just overextended again. The half-bird, half-dragon monster has gotten dangerously close. It was supposed to be the last ground unit Himchan’s job to keep it at bay. It wouldn’t be good for Daehyun to be in such close range.
Jongup realizes he just got distracted again and considers returning fire when something far more damaging than a brick hurtles towards him.
Himchan! Yongguk’s voice echoes lowly and urgently through his brain as he registers the incoming danger.
Himchan can normally control his density with precision, but he has a tendency to lose control of that when he gets scared. It wouldn't be so bad if his instinct was to turn himself feather-light, but he somehow developed the gut reaction that the way to be safe was to turn himself into a mini-planet. Jongup's thighs tense as he digs his feet into the ground, resisting Himchan's gravitational pull and bracing himself for impact at the same time.
At least, that is what he would have done, but Daehyun rematerializes between them, shooting Jongup a panicked look, having become invisible in the worst possible place. The slick ground probably tripped him up, and there is no way Daehyun can move fast enough out of Himchan's path. Not only do the sharp swords in his hands pose a great threat to both Jongup and Himchan, Daehyun might actually get squished flat by Himchan’s weight on impact. Jongup winces when he sees a very graphic portrayal of squished Daehyun in his head as time fast-forwards, along with the rising feeling of Youngjae’s panic.
Sometimes Youngjae’s death visions do not need to be shared, even if they are informative.
Jongup leaps up and uses his momentum to strike the ground, sending a shockwave that Daehyun uses to bounce himself into the air, narrowly avoiding collision with Himchan. Yongguk cuts off Jongup’s mental connection to Youngjae just as he feels relief replace Youngjae’s panic. At least that means Daehyun’s no longer in mortal danger. As time returns to normal, Jongup doesn't have time to brace himself for impact and Himchan knocks him down.
With Himchan on top of him, he struggles to regain his breath. It's knocked out of him again as Daehyun is pulled into their small cluster by Himchan’s gravity. Jongup doesn’t even have time to react with the second impact, and all of a sudden his body loses its strength. Did his powers just fail? He feels his chest cave in as he can no longer support Himchan’s weight. Is he going to die?
HIMCHAN. Yongguk's voice is more forceful than Jongup has ever heard it.
Jongup feels a wave of guilt-Himchan's-wash over him. Himchan is struggling to keep calm long enough to take control of his instincts but it's not working. His gravity is now strong enough to drag in the giant monster they're supposed to be putting down.
Now Jongup isn’t breathing anymore and soon they’re all going to be pancakes if Himchan doesn’t stop pulling the beast in.
They’re saved by an explosion from nowhere that knocks the beast into the air. At that very moment, Himchan decides to regain control over his density, and the three fly backwards from the shock of the explosion.
Jongup still has his ordinary human flexibility and manages to land on his feet. He picks up a rock and crumbles it in his hands. Weird, his power is back. Himchan and Daehyun land a bit less gracefully, but they seem to be okay, picking themselves up, ready for round two with the monster. Daehyun’s figure starts to melt into the rain when Yongguk’s back inside their heads. It’s gone.
Judging by the deafening silence in their heads after those terse words, they did not do well. The monster really is gone, and the rain starts to let up.
Yongguk's airship lands beside them, the doors opening to reveal a somber-looking Youngjae. Jongup knows by that look that they've been a disappointment. They're in for it when they get back to headquarters.
Being a superhero is definitely not all it's cracked up to be, Jongup thinks, looking to each of his teammates’ pale, nauseated faces as they ascend into the airship.
*
From the top of the airship ramp, Jongup turns around to take one last wistful look at the wreckage. The ramp starts to retract, when he sees something stir underneath a pile of rubble. It could be another stray kitten, trapped without oxygen, he thinks, like the one he’d rescued from the last mission. Maybe it’s because he used to be one, but Jongup has a weakness for rescuing helpless creatures. Yongguk wouldn’t mind, he’s the one who instilled those principles in Jongup in the first place. “Wait,” he calls, leaping down from the airship.
He makes his way to the pile of rubble where he thinks he saw movement. The rocks shift again, and Jongup realizes it’s much bigger than a kitten. He quickly clears the pile away. A sudden response shocks him, as a dust-covered human-shaped figure sits up and starts coughing up ashes. What is a human doing here? They all should have hidden away in their bomb shelters when the SOS was sounded. Jongup can tell it’s a boy, maybe even younger than him, even though all Jongup can make of his face is the eyes, standing out white on top of brown-black dirt.
The startled wide eyes meet Jongup’s for a moment and then roll back as the boy they belong to faints. Jongup catches him before his head hits the ground. Again, that is. Jongup’s stomach flips when he sees the egg-sized lump on the boy’s forehead and the blood trickling down his thin neck from another wound hidden underneath the hair, matted with dirt and dried blood.
Jongup squeezes his eyes shut, blood makes him queasy. He pulls the boy completely out of the gravel and slings him over his back. It’s awkward, the kid is too tall. His feet drag along the ground.
He rearranges it so that he’s carrying the boy in his arms instead, head propped upright against Jongup’s chest. Jongup needs to get him to Youngjae. Youngjae’s much better at dealing with gore.
*
“What is it this time?”
Jongup hears Daehyun before he sees him. Daehyun pokes his head out of the cabin as Jongup approaches the ramp again. “Another kit-? Oh.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and forgets his words for a moment. He blinks and jostles back into motion, disappearing back into the cabin.
Jongup goes through the door a few moments later to find Daehyun gone and Youngjae already at work, pulling out the convertible seats to form a makeshift table with practiced ease.
“Head trauma, but he’s breathing.” Jongup gives his brief diagnosis as Youngjae tugs the table one last time before it gives an audible click.
“Careful,” Youngjae instructs, laying a clean cloth over the table and moving to grab his medical supplies from overhead.
“What’s going on?” The cockpit door slams as Yongguk bursts through, Daehyun and Himchan in tow.
Gingerly, Jongup lays the boy down on the table, watching as his blood paints the white sheet a bright red. Taking one good look, Yongguk’s back in the cockpit. “Strap him in,” he says. “We’re getting him back to base.”
Everybody but Youngjae straps in to their seats. Jongup can only watch Youngjae’s back as he works on stanching the boy’s wounds. Jongup sits on his hands and looks out the window. Their tower, the location of their base, is so tall he can see it from the mission site. It looks imposing overlooking the rest of the buildings of their city.
Jongup watches the tower get closer and tries to think about anything but their failed mission.
*
Jongup is 5 when he manifests his superhuman strength and is whisked off to the Academy. He spends the majority of his first year alone and missing his parents. He cries a lot, but that's nothing to be ashamed of as a 5 year old, he thinks.
Halfway through his second year, he no longer cries because of his parents, because he only remembers them by the one photograph he owns. Instead, he cries because the other kids hit him but he won’t hit back. He might break them.
One time it hurts too much and he starts crying before he can hide away in his sanctuary among the toilets. A wooden toy block smacks his tormentor's face from out of nowhere, dropping to the floor and leaving a howling mess of a nosebleed and tears.
"Oops, it slipped." A voice so soft only Jongup can hear surprises him out of his crying. He looks back and meets eyes with the scariest kid in his class, a wielder of mind powers classified as “Most Dangerous.” He also happens to be revered as the whiz kid possessing near perfect control over his powers. 10-year-old Yongguk grins widely at Jongup, and suddenly he’s no longer the scariest kid in class. Jongup smiles back. He doesn't cry much more after that.
*
Jongup admires Yongguk. He was the star student at the Academy, the prodigy with a rare power and an even rarer discipline over it. Mind melding is dangerous, a little slip and the stronger mind may overwhelm the weaker one, yet Yongguk could maintain control over an entire team's worth of connections. With his team-oriented power and excellent grades, there weren't many who were surprised when he was chosen as the youngest leader of the Best Absolute Powers.
All the expectations piled on Yongguk’s shoulders then, naturally fell to the people he would choose as his team. Each one of them has been handpicked for their power, as well as their control over it.
For example, Youngjae has a pretty terrifying power, the ability to foresee deaths moments before they happen. Usually that leads him to try and prevent them. At the Academy, he focused that energy on learning how to administer emergency care. Jongup wonders how Youngjae isn’t a nervous wreck from all the deaths he couldn’t prevent. In fact, Youngjae is one of the most levelheaded people Jongup knows. Youngjae just says that dealing with death just makes him appreciate life more and that’s why he can be so calm about it.
On the other hand, Himchan's power is just weird. The most use Himchan was making out of his ability to change his density was to make himself weigh less for the scales. Until he met Yongguk, at least. Jongup has no idea how Yongguk was so effective in helping Himchan Refine his power, but now Himchan’s skin armor leaves Jongup with bruises when they practice hand-to-hand combat.
Daehyun’s power is the best. Well, there is no actual best, but Jongup finds the most amusement in it, only because of the person it was bestowed to. It would be a more useful power if Daehyun could stand being ignored, but his invisibility only lasts as long as he can hold his tongue. In combat though, Daehyun’s stealth and speed were no laughing matter and in a pinch, Daehyun’s dramatically final reappearances from nowhere were a godsend. Wielding his dual swords, he cuts quite a striking figure and he knows it. That’s the moment that Daehyun lives for.
The last member is none other than Jongup himself. In Yongguk’s star-studded team, Jongup with his super strength feels extraordinarily ordinary. Even with Yongguk’s assurances that his power isn’t boring, Jongup sometimes wonders if he’s only on the team because everybody else with somewhat useful powers lost them after their Refinement, or because Yongguk’s known him the longest.
He wonders that the most during times like now, when Yongguk is giving them one of his serious talks. He doesn’t raise his voice or yell, but the way his voice softens and the way disappointment laces itself in his voice is more terrifying than anger could ever be. The unconscious tall kid Jongup rescued only buys them a little bit of time while they set him up in an intensive care pod. After he is stabilized they can do nothing to escape from Yongguk.
“It’s easy for me to see everything because I was linked to all of you,” Yongguk starts. “But you guys should know what you did wrong.” He nods towards Himchan, who takes it as a cue to begin his self-reflection.
“I lost control of my powers.” Himchan gives Yongguk a pitiful look. It’s different for Himchan, because he’s the same age as Yongguk, and he plays just as big a part in leading the team. “I’m sorry, I’ve been slacking on my training lately.”
Yongguk just sighs.
Next is Jongup. “I got distracted,” he says. He doesn’t say anything about the other things that happened, like him almost getting flattened into a pancake.
He can tell Yongguk doesn’t know what to say to that. “If your motivation is to protect your teammates, you might not get distracted so easily.” Jongup nods, but he thinks that it’s a lot easier said than done. He loves his hyungs a lot and wants them to be safe already. The problem is he doesn’t think he has the power to help them when they’re all so much more capable than he is. But Yongguk is already moving on to Daehyun.
“I misjudged my placement,” Daehyun says, wincing before he adds on an “again.” Yongguk waits, and Daehyun can’t meet his level stare. “And I didn’t listen to orders to back out.”
“You don’t have to carry the team, Daehyun.” Daehyun nods at Yongguk’s words. “Your teammates trust you to be where you’re supposed to be.
Yongguk turns his attention onto Youngjae. Out of them all, Youngjae has made the least mistakes. “I panicked,” is all he says.
“Youngjae, you completely lost your head.” Yongguk states it in a way that makes no room for excuses.
Youngjae’s eyes flick over to Daehyun and back to the floor. He bites his lower lip and nods. “It won’t happen again.”
Yongguk is silent for a moment as he regards Youngjae. “No, it probably will,” he says, but his voice is much softer. “I know it’s easy to lose it when it’s your bond partner. But you have to understand, you’ll have a better chance of saving him if you keep a clear head.”
Still chewing on his lip, Youngjae nods again, and bows his head further. Jongup tries to understand as much as he can without having his own bond mate the pain Youngjae must have been put through, having to witness Daehyun’s death, even if it wasn’t real. Before his Refinement, Youngjae’s powers were far more uncontrollable, and he couldn’t block out the death visions, even if they weren’t in close range. If not for Daehyun, Youngjae’s powers might have driven him insane before they stabilized.
“And trust your teammates,” Yongguk adds, sternly again. “That goes for all of you, understand?” Everybody nods in sync. “Okay, you can go.”
Jonguppie, Yongguk barely touches his back and brushes his mind as everybody else retreats into their rooms. Jongup falls back and turns around. "You fluctuated," Yongguk says when they're alone.
Oh. Jongup remembers losing his powers. That's what that weird thing was. Fluctuations in the potency of a superpower signify the start of Refinement. It’s a common part of growing up, associated with puberty and hormones, but Jongup's had somehow skipped him. The rest of his body had developed normally so he just expected they would never come.
"You should take a break," Yongguk says. “You know, find someone.” His cheeks redden a bit, despite the wise older brother role he is playing. "But the sooner you figure it out, the better it will be for the team, you know what I mean?"
Jongup nods. One thing different about fluctuations is that they're associated with maturation of emotions. More specifically, romantic emotions. The stronger the emotional bond, the stronger the power will be at the end of Refinement. That is why his team is the Best Absolute Powers, they had the strongest pair bonds at the Academy, with the exception of Jongup, who they had thought just missed Refinement entirely. They had figured it was a good thing, because he got to keep his powers and didn’t have to deal with the hassle of bonding. Jongup has long contented himself to having the romantic tendencies equivalent to a rock, and non-magnetic one at that.
Now that Jongup is starting his Refinement, he is confused to no end. It isn’t the end of the world if Jongup doesn’t find a bond partner. But he knows he will lose some of his powers, if not all of them. Jongup doesn’t really care about losing his powers, fighting evil can get tiring, but he can’t imagine life without his team. He doesn’t have any other family besides them.
Drawing his eyebrows together, he decides that even if it’s troublesome, he needs to get bonded.
*
Instead of returning to his chamber, Jongup goes to the hospital wing. He wonders if the boy has come around yet. He would probably like some company if he did wake up, Jongup reasons.
The kid is sound asleep when Jongup arrives however, but Jongup stays for a bit, watching the peaceful face underneath the heavily bandaged forehead. Cleaned up, the kid looks so young, his skin pale and smooth. And soft, Jongup thinks as he reaches out and brushes it without really thinking about what he’s doing.
As if Jongup's touch were a hot iron, the boy's eyes snap open, his breathing hitches, and his body stiffens. Surprised, Jongup jerks his hand back. Jongup freezes as he watches the boy fighting with something internal, his eyes wide open, scared, and unseeing while he breathes shallowly.
Before Jongup can buzz for a nurse, the short breaths even out. The now wide-awake boy finally focuses his eyes on Jongup, his eyelids drooping back down and a frown creasing his brow. It’s a change from how peaceful he was sleeping just moments before.
The boy starts to struggle into an upright position, and Jongup immediately reaches out to push him back down. "Wait," he says, even as his hand is swatted away. He pushes a button on the side of the bed, and it folds up slowly. The boy stops scowling long enough to look curious.
Jongup pulls his chair closer and sits down, watching as the boy alternates looking at his shifting backrest and Jongup. "Where am I?" he finally asks after the bed stops moving, now propping him up into a sitting position. His head is cocked and Jongup gets distracted by his blinking. His eyebrows draw together again. "Who are you?"
“Moon Jongup, at your service.” Jongup smiles at his petulance and greets him with a small salute. “You’re in our base’s hospital.”
"Base? What base? Why?" Before Jongup answers, the boy winces and reaches up and touches his forehead. "Oh…"
"Slow down." Jongup laughs. The kid had been so busy asking questions he didn't even realize he was in pain. Jongup hasn't seen anything so interesting in a while. "How about a name first?"
The boy looks at Jongup with round eyes, his mouth a matching o. He considers for a moment. "Choi Junhong," he says, seeming to decide that Jongup is on his side. "But everybody calls me a menace," he adds with a proud grin that makes his eyes into little crescent lines.
"Everybody?" Jongup asks absently, paying more attention to the dimples that formed on Junhong's cheeks. "Like your family?"
Junhong looks down and purses his lips. "I guess they were, but I ran away."
"Won't your parents be worried?" Jongup frowns.
"I'm an orphan," Junhong says, looking up brightly at Jongup again. "I ran away from boarding school, not a home."
“Oh.” Jongup isn’t sure what to say. He supposes he should be sorry, but Junhong doesn’t sound sad at all when he calls himself an orphan. Jongup understands; his parents are only fuzzy memories now. “Wouldn’t they worry about you?” he asks instead of trying to convey his sympathy.
Shaking his head vehemently, Junhong wrinkles his nose in distaste. “They don’t care about me at all. All they care about is that I’m perfectly well behaved and the only thing they let me do was study.”
Jongup feels like he should be responsible and send Junhong back to the boarding school, because running away from home is no light matter, but Junhong clearly didn’t want to stay there. He wonders if the school mistreated him. “Why did you run away then?”
Junhong shrugs. “I didn’t want to study; I wanted to rap.”
“They wouldn’t let you?” Jongup had no idea that the government kept such close tabs on their wards of state. He tries to imagine what it’d be like if he weren’t allowed to dance.
“It’s just me, too. Apparently I was the only survivor of some disaster that came through my town and so somehow it was my fault and they keep track of everything I do. I used to be able to write lyrics in secret,” Junhong says, “but recently they’ve become stricter and wouldn’t leave me alone, so I ran away.”
Jongup still thinks it’s a bit farfetched of the government to think he brought the destruction upon his town as a baby. “You can write it here,” Jongup says, making a mental note to bring down paper and pens to the hospital ward.
“Can I really?” Junhong’s eyes sparkle. Jongup always thought that orphans would be more…sad or something, but now that Junhong’s warmed up to him, he can’t imagine Junhong not smiling or excited.
Jongup nods, and hums a reply. “So you don’t really have a family?”
“Nope,” Junhong shakes his head. “Well, I don’t know what family is like so I wouldn’t know, but I don’t think so.”
Even though Jongup hasn’t seen his parents in over 15 years, he still feels like he has family. His team is his family. He doesn’t think anybody should be without a family, and right now, all he wants to do is share that with Junhong. “You can be a part of our family.”
“Really?” Junhong’s eyes go round again. “So I can call you-wait, how old are you?”
“18.”
“So I can call you Jongup-hyung?” Junhong asks. “I’m 16,” he adds, for Jongup’s benefit. Jongup’s never been a hyung before; he has always been the baby of the group. Jongup-hyung. He rolls the phrase around in his head, testing it out. He thinks he likes the sound of it.
“Yeah, Jongup-hyung is fine.”
*
Jongup is 10 when he learns to be alone again. That's when he meets Himchan. Or rather, that's when Yongguk meets Himchan.
Himchan is new to the Academy, nobody having noticed his power until he fluctuated and almost floated away. The only evidence of his power is the medical records that baffled doctors. He simply did not look his weight.
Chubby, overly quiet, and nerdy, Himchan doesn’t fit in. Himchan's inability to socialize with the class, along with Yongguk's heart for people in need results in a fast friendship. Due to Yongguk’s encouragement, Himchan finds his voice and self-confidence. As for Yongguk, he has finally met his mental match and Jongup has never seen him more excited.
It's not like Yongguk and Himchan ignore Jongup, it's just that Jongup used to be stuck to Yongguk's side and suddenly he's not always there anymore. It's a good thing, and Jongup discovers he likes doing some things that Yongguk doesn't like, such as dancing. Also, although Yongguk is not boring, Jongup could only handle sitting still for so long while Yongguk worked at song lyrics for hours on end. Yongguk has Himchan for that now.
But he is still alone. At first, Jongup finds any reason to dislike Himchan. He thinks all the attention and physical affection Himchan lavishes on him is some sort of ploy to get Yongguk’s attention. Somehow, Himchan’s persistence wins over Jongup’s reluctance and he realizes that Himchan, in fact, is everything Yongguk made him out to be.
Jongup would never admit it out loud, but he likes when Himchan messes up his hair, or when Himchan gives him impromptu backrubs or one-armed side hugs. He’s pretty sure Himchan knows even though he doesn’t say it aloud. Jongup might like him even more than he likes Yongguk-hyung.
*
Jongup can’t sleep that night. He worries too much about his untimely Refinement and finding a bond partner. After his brain sends itself on a downward spiral of thoughts of being kicked out of the team, Jongup decides that he needs to talk to somebody.
Himchan feels like the most comfortable hyung to talk about his problems with, so Jongup rolls out of bed and pays a visit to Himchan's room. He catches Himchan as he's preparing to go to sleep, but he realizes he doesn't even know what he wants to ask.
"Do you need hyung's advice?" Himchan asks when Jongup doesn't say anything for a while. He sounds cautious, as if he is waiting for Jongup's permission to be excited.
"Kinda." Jongup purses his lips. "Yeah."
Instantly, Himchan's face lights up. He sits down cross-legged on his bed and pats the spot next to him. He hands Jongup a pillow and grabs one for himself after Jongup hesitantly takes it. "We need pillows," Himchan says, "if we're going to pillow talk."
Jongup just looks at Himchan weirdly. "Okay, hyung."
Himchan responds by slinging an arm around Jongup's shoulders. "So, what's up?"
Jongup hugs his pillow and draws up his knees. "Did Yongguk-hyung tell you about my...?" He gestures up and down his body.
"Fluctuations?" Himchan fills it in for him. Jongup nods. "Yeah," Himchan says, despite the fact that it's redundant.
There's no great way of going around it, so Jongup just asks straight up. "How am I supposed to bond?"
Himchan laughs, but it's not a condescending laugh. "Jonguppie, you're the cutest," he says, squeezing Jongup's knee. "Bonding is something that happens naturally when you love somebody and they love you back. You don't have to think too much about it."
"I love our members," Jongup says. He thinks the other way around is true. He hopes it's true. "But it doesn't work that way, does it?"
Himchan shakes his head. "It's a bit different." He looks down and picks at the fuzz on his pillow. "Your bond partner will be your best friend, who you can tell anything to, but that's not all." Himchan's eyes grow distant and Jongup thinks he's probably thinking of Yongguk by the way he doesn't realize he's smiling as he's talking. "You think they're beautiful, even if they just woke up with drool dried to their face and their hair sticking up." Now Jongup's sure Himchan's thinking about Yongguk. The marking on Himchan’s left forearm, the soul chain binding him to Yongguk, is glowing. Jongup thinks it is one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen. "You'll also find that you want to share everything with them. Experiences, laughs, music, food...even your own body."
Jongup's forehead wrinkles in worry. "How do you do that? You don’t have body swapping powers, do you?"
Himchan laughs again, much harder now, doubling over this time. "Jonguppie, you're the best," he says between fits. Jongup waits for him to calm down and wipe a few tears away from his eyes. "No, simple things, like holding hands." He takes Jongup's hand and squeezes. "Kissing, too, and other stuff, but you don't want to kiss me, right?"
Jongup makes a face. "Not particularly."
"I'd kiss you," Himchan says magnanimously.
Jongup contemplates in silence for a bit. "But how come I haven't felt that way about anybody before? What's wrong with me?"
Himchan grabs his shoulders and won't let Jongup break eye contact. "Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Jonguppie. Make sure you know that, alright?"
Jongup nods, and Himchan lets go.
"Late bloomers always bloom the most beautifully," Himchan says, pinching Jongup's cheeks. In that moment, Jongup is so thankful, and wishes he was capable of expressing his gratitude. It's easy for Himchan, who always uses affection with them, but for Jongup, it's harder than carrying a boulder three miles, which he has done before.
"Thanks, hyung," Jongup says, and surprises Himchan with a tight squeeze. He tries to put the things he can't express with words into the hug, but Himchan probably already knows. Himchan returns it just as tightly.
"Anytime.” Jongup feels it’s about the right time to pull away. Except Himchan isn't letting go. Jongup tries to wiggle out of his grasp, but Himchan is relishing in the fact that Jongup initiated it. "You should come to hyung more often," Himchan says, and finally releases Jongup.
Now that Jongup thinks about it, talking to Himchan honestly went so much better than expected, and he thinks that he might just take Himchan up on the offer. He nods. "Okay."
Jongup is about to get up from the bed when Himchan grabs his hand. "Hey, want to sleep over tonight?"
Jongup's never had a sleepover before. “Okay,” he says, just so he can see Himchan excited. Maybe he’s a bit excited too. He watches as Himchan crawls under the covers and raises them, beckoning Jongup to join him. Jongup lies down and lets Himchan tuck him in.
He falls asleep to stories about Yongguk's time at the Academy, stories that even he's never heard of, and a warm comfort that doesn’t come from Himchan's blanket.
*
Junhong recovers remarkably quickly, already out of the ward and following Jongup around as soon as the nurses let him out.
He meets the others and he gets along easily with them all, even Himchan who he thinks is weird, but he still likes Jongup the best. Jongup also doesn't mind taking Junhong around, letting Junhong borrow all his games and comics, or showing Junhong how he dances.
Junhong is curious about everything, and Jongup, who normally prefers being by himself, finds that he very much enjoys Junhong's company. The first time Jongup goes to practice dance, Junhong jumps up and down and won't stop wiggling.
"I've never been allowed to dance," Junhong says, his eyes shining. "My school only had academic clubs."
"You won't be disappointed." Jongup smiles, calm and serene compared to Junhong who is bouncing off the walls. He sets down his speakers and presses play on his mp3. He watches for a moment as Junhong's erratic head-bobs conform to the tune.
Soon he's feeling the beat too, and he lets his body go. He's never really danced for anybody before, so he can't help but sneak a few glances at Junhong's reaction. Junhong had gone completely still and all he’s doing is watching Jongup. Junhong watches so intently that Jongup wonders if his eyes will be okay from not blinking.
To Jongup's surprise, Junhong jumps in and starts to dance as well, trying out some of Jongup's moves and also throwing in some of his own. Jongup starts imitating Junhong back at him, and soon they're less dancing and more waving their arms and shaking their hips at each other. It makes Jongup laugh so hard he ends up on the floor with Junhong lying across his stomach.
"Teach me," Junhong says when he catches his breath. Jongup sits up on his elbows and tries to look at Junhong. It does not work very well.
Jongup rolls away and sits up so he can look at Junhong in the eye. "I should be asking you to teach me," he grins. He's only half kidding. Without anybody else to dance with he feels a bit stuck, and making up new moves with Junhong is refreshing.
Junhong doesn't even know how much it had meant, but he matches Jongup's grin with his own lopsided one. "Only if you teach me first."
"It's a deal," Jongup says, offering a hand.
Junhong's hand is as warm as his smile. "Deal."
*
Jongup is in the middle of taking stock of the fridge with Junhong when the intercom in the kitchen crackles. “Team meeting in 10,” says Yongguk’s voice through the com. Jongup closes the fridge. His cooking experiment with Junhong will have to wait until later.
Junhong turns towards Jongup, his face shining with awe. “Team meeting?”
“Do you want to come?” Jongup asks, and Junhong nods fervently. Pushing the button to the kitchen intercom, Jongup speaks into the mic on the wall. “Yongguk-hyung, can Junhong come?”
It’s silent for a moment. “Yeah,” Yongguk’s voice comes through again. “In fact I think he’d better come.”
Jongup exchanges a glance with Junhong, and he doesn’t miss the worry that flashes across Junhong’s face.
*
"The reason I called you guys here," Yongguk says when they have all gathered, unrolling a newspaper, "is this." He points to the picture in the center of the page.
It's Junhong, underneath the large block of letters that spell out "MISSING."
“Do they know I’m here?” Junhong blurts out before anybody can react.
"The state is searching for him," Yongguk explains. He turns towards Junhong. “Nobody knows you’re here right now, but should they?”
Junhong shrinks against Jongup’s side. “I don’t want to go back,” he says forlornly, and for a moment he looks like a child being scolded by his mother.
"Can't we keep him?" Jongup asks what he thinks is the obvious.
Yongguk gives him a searching look and sighs. Jongup knows Yongguk has a soft spot for him as the youngest, though Jongup rarely ever takes advantage of it. "You know we'd be committing a crime by hiding him."
"It won't be for long," Junhong says, eager to make his case. "I'll go back eventually."
"I like Junhong," Youngjae supplies helpfully.
Daehyun also nods. "He can help out with chores," he adds.
Youngjae shoves him. "Don't try to get out of your toilet-scrubbing duties."
"I'll scrub the toilets," Junhong says, almost bouncing with excitement. Jongup has never seen anybody so enthusiastic about cleaning toilets. He smiles without realizing it.
"Let's definitely keep him," Daehyun says, grinning smugly. Youngjae punches him in the arm.
Everybody looks at Yongguk, and Yongguk looks at Himchan. Himchan shrugs. Sighing, Yongguk buries his face in his hands. “Okay, for now.”
“Thanks, Yongguk-hyung,” Jongup says, beaming.
“Yeah, thanks, Yongguk-hyung,” Junhong echos, as he wiggles his shoulders in excitement. Yongguk lifts his eyebrows at Junhong’s unexpected use of “hyung,” but he smiles at it. Jongup feels a warm pride seeing how easily Junhong is being accepted into his family.
*
Jongup’s not allowed to go on missions because of his fluctuations. Missing the first few missions with his team is okay, especially with the bitterness of the last failure fresh on his mind. He probably needs the break. But after the first few, staying at home makes Jongup antsy.
Junhong is a good distraction though, and they keep each other entertained. They dance, read comics, and play Pokemon on the DS together. Jongup even gets Junhong to show him his top secret rap. Jongup thinks it’s good enough to show Yongguk, and manages to convince Junhong likewise. Jongup can’t explain the pride he feels when Yongguk agrees with his assessment and invites Junhong to record with him.
The rain is relentless and persistent, so they mostly stay inside. When Jongup finds out that Junhong hasn’t seen any movies before, he takes it upon himself to show Junhong all of his childhood classics.
Within the first few minutes of the first movie they watch, Jongup decides that he likes watching movies with Junhong in the same way he enjoys watching movies with Youngjae. Junhong stomps his feet and claps whenever he finds something entertaining, and it renews Jongup’s interest in the movies he’s seen countless times.
Halfway through, Junhong rests his head on Jongup’s shoulder. It takes Jongup by surprise. Himchan does it all the time, but it feels different with Junhong. He loses his concentration on the movie and instead focuses on relaxing and not being too stiff. He probably fails, but Junhong, too busy watching the movie, doesn’t notice.
*
As the week goes along, the rain shows no sign of stopping, but one day the weather finally clears up. Jongup takes advantage of this day to take Junhong out to explore the city. He wants to see Junhong’s reactions to the street vendors and all the shops and restaurants.
“Whoaaa,” Junhong doesn’t stop saying as they enter the city market. They are greeted by colorful signs and advertisements, along with the smell of breakfast foods. Jongup buys them both some meat buns when he sees Junhong practically drooling over them. “These are amazing,” Junhong says as the juice from the bun runs down his chin. By instinct, Jongup reaches up to wipe it clean. Junhong startles at Jongup’s touch, and Jongup pulls his hand back, embarrassed. “No, it’s okay, you just surprised me,” Junhong says quickly, and allows Jongup to wipe the napkin across his mouth.
They stop at a stall selling handcrafted statuettes, some made of wood, some of straw, some of glass. “How’s business been?” Jongup asks the vendor while Junhong admires all of the little figurines, inspecting them in his hand carefully.
“The rain’s discouraged a lot of people from coming,” the vendor replies. “But today’s been good.”
Jongup bends down next to Junhong to look at the charms. He frowns as he looks closer. They’re vibrating against the table surface. “Are these supposed to be-”
A strong tremor upends the entire table, sending the figures flying. Jongup instinctively catches as many as he can, and Junhong does the same. Together, they manage to save most of them, but a few of the glass ones shatter upon hitting the floor.
“What’s going on?” Junhong shouts over the sounds of panic coming from all over the market.
“Earthquake,” Jongup shouts back, but the shaking has already stopped. He rights the table and puts the statuettes in his hands back.
“Thanks,” the flustered vendor says. “I take back what I said. What’s going on in this world? Earthquakes…” he mutters, as Junhong and Jongup excuse themselves.
Jongup also wonders what in the world is going on. He stays and explores more with Junhong until the sun goes down, but he can’t help but feel a pit of fear gnawing at his belly.
*
Contrary to popular belief, Jongup is a pensive thinker. He gets wrapped up in his thoughts even more when he doesn't have anything else to do, and being unable to go on the last few missions with the others has set him so far inside his head he can't sleep. He keeps thinking about his teammates, how he finds his family in them, and whether he'd still be accepted if he lost his powers. He wonders what Junhong feels like, to not have anybody to call his family. He tries putting himself in that position and can't.
As he lies in bed, he turns his unseeing eyes up towards the ceiling. He thinks a lot about finding a bond partner. He isn't looking very hard for one. It seems too troublesome, anyways. He keeps thinking and worrying until he hears a knock on his door.
"Mm?" He doesn't bother getting up.
The door cracks open. It's Junhong. He can tell by the long silhouette blocking out the light in his doorframe. "Hyung, are you awake?"
"What do you think?" Jongup laughs. Junhong returns it weakly. He seems hesitant for once, not sure what to do with himself as he lingers by the foot of Jongup's bed.
"I had a bad dream."
"Mm."Jongup rolls over on his bed to make room. "Did you want to sleep here tonight?"
"Kind of," Junhong says, but Jongup knows from how quickly he climbs into the tiny bed that he meant yes. The bed really only has room for one person comfortably, or two if personal space doesn't matter. Junhong seems to have no problem with it. His long limbs fit snugly up against Jongup. "I get sleep paralysis."
Jongup remembers when he saw Junhong wake up for the first time. He had seemed terrified.
Jongup wraps his arm behind Junhong's head, letting Junhong use it like a pillow. "I'll keep you safe from nightmares," he says, petting Junhong's hair.
"It's working," Junhong yawns, and buries his head into Jongup's shoulder. "G'night," he murmurs, half-asleep already.
His breathing is deep and even, sending puffs of warm air over Jongup's collarbone. Jongup looks down at the pale skin of Junhong's face, almost glowing in the dark, and all of a sudden he is too conscious of the way Junhong's hair tickles his neck, the way Junhong's forearm rests along his chest, the way Junhong's legs are too long so they curl up and rest on his thigh.
Jongup's heart quickens to his surprise, and he's afraid Junhong will be able to hear it. He's afraid to move at all. His fingers stop working at Junhong's hair for a moment, but quickly resume when Junhong subconsciously whines.
His face suddenly feels like it is on fire. A thought suddenly hits him. It isn’t surprising, considering he has been worrying about all night. Is this what soulbonding is? He always thought that getting a bond partner was weird and boring, but the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like if Junhong were to soulbond with him, he wouldn't mind. Junhong is always interesting, he makes Jongup smile, and he thinks dancing with Jongup is cool. Jongup likes being with him.
Even though the hyungs don't display it publicly, Jongup's seen them do things sometimes that bond mates are supposed to do, like holding hands. He recalls his conversation with Himchan. Or kissing. He looks down at Junhong sleeping against his chest. Junhong's mouth is slightly open, and he might be starting to drool on Jongup's shirt, but his wet lips are shiny and beautiful in the darkness. Jongup thinks he wouldn't mind kissing them either.
In fact, now that Jongup thinks about it, he wants to kiss them. He's got half a mind to try, but he catches himself and freezes. Would Junhong mind? What if Junhong thinks kissing is gross, like Jongup used to think? What if Junhong thinks kissing Jongup is gross?
Jongup turns his gaze back to the ceiling, where he can't see Junhong's glowing soft skin or his pretty lips. He really needs to stop thinking and go to sleep. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to pretend that Junhong's body next to him is just another rescued kitten staying the night.
The cutest kitten I've ever rescued, Jongup thinks, and he knows it's going to be a long, long night.
*
The first thing Jongup realizes when he wakes up is that he cannot breathe. He can't move, either. It feels like everything is pressed in on him, and he's trying his best, but his body won't move.
His eyes are open but they can't see anything. The darkness is so vast, yet he feels so trapped.
After a terrifying moment, he is able to draw a deep gasp of air and his fingers twitch. He blinks and his vision returns slowly. As he regains awareness of his surroundings, he remembers that Junhong is nestled close to his side.
He suppresses a groan as his heart starts racing and his breathing shallows. Sleeping on it did him no good whatsoever. In fact, in the morning light, Junhong looks even more perfect with his face smushed into Jongup's shoulder. His eyelashes glow in the sunlight. Half of his opened mouth rests on Jongup's bare skin, and Jongup lets the idea of those lips working at his collarbones enter his mind.
When the last thought passes through he immediately feels a wave of guilt and shame wash over him. He feels a sudden need to move and he lets out a frustrated yell. Too late, he remembers that Junhong is still on him as he rolls onto his stomach.
Junhong yelps as he hits the floor. He recovers just as quickly, rolling over on his back and looking at Jongup. “What was that?"
Jongup freezes for a moment, his mind catching up to his body. "It's your punishment," he finally comes up with.
"What did I do?" Junhong pulls himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his shoulder. The pitiful look on his face makes Jongup feel worse.
"You gave me your sleep paralysis." Jongup pulls the covers up to his neck and curls up as Junhong climbs back onto the bed. He doesn't think he can handle any more skin-to-skin contact with Junhong at the moment.
Junhong takes that as permission to jump on top of him. "You're so tiny," Junhong says as he sits on Jongup's waist and tries to wrestle the covers off.
His attempts do nothing against Jongup's strengthened grip, and Jongup pulls the covers higher over his head. "No I'm not, you're just huge," he says, muffled by the thick comforter. He curls up a little tighter.
Giving up, Junhong slides down next to Jongup and crosses his legs. He pushes at Jongup's back. "Jonguppie-hyung, get up."
Jongup replies with a grunt.
"You woke me up, now keep me company." Junhong jiggles at his arm.
Another grunt.
"I'm sorry about giving you sleep paralysis." The shaking stops for a moment. "Even though I don't think sleep paralysis is contagious."
The longest grunt of all. It's true, Jongup knows that sleep paralysis is another normal part of Refinement, signifying the next stage. It means worse fluctuations. He allows his head to poke back through the covers.
"Please get up?" Junhong's whisper and soft brush of his lips against the shell of Jongup's ear sends goosebumps from the back of Jongup’s neck all the way down his spine.
He jolts up, blanket still wrapped protectively around his shoulders. "I'm up," he says hastily, trying to put as much distance between them as possible on the bed meant for one.
"Okay." Junhong sits back, bounces the bed once, twice, and on the third time he swings his long legs over the side and stands up. With a "hurry up," he disappears from Jongup's room.
Jongup is left underneath his blanket cape, alone with his troublesome thoughts. Sleep paralysis means worse fluctuations. Worse fluctuations means he needs to worry about pair bonding. Pair bonding means..?
Junhong.
Jongup shakes his head and sighs. Every single thought just finds its way back to Junhong.
At this rate, it's better to not have any thoughts at all.
(part 2)
Pairing: Jongup/Junhong
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17k
Summary: Moon Jongup. 18 years old. Dance. Busy sorting out love and other teenager worries. And, oh yeah. Saving the world.
A/N: written for fearnoworld for thebrowniebunch fic exchange! I combined two prompts and hopefully you like the result ^^
Being a superhero is not all it's cracked up to be, Jongup thinks as his face is nearly smashed in by a brick. He could blame the bad visibility due to the torrential storm, but the truth is that he had been zoning out completely. To be fair that is quite normal for him, but not quite so during a battle. His fast reflexes save his nose and the brick passes it by a hair’s width. He looks up, wiping his rain-soaked hair from his eyes, refocusing on the beast they are trying to quell.
Ironically, it is the monster’s fault that he was distracted in the first place. Jongup thinks the monster is beautiful in an odd, perverse sort of way. It has ebony-feathered wings reminiscent of a giant raven, a dragon-like neck with glittering black scales that are even more brilliant in the rain, and a majestic head ending in a beak that could slice through the durable town buildings they are fighting amongst.
The town has been built to withstand attacks from a variety of much smaller beasts, but its buildings break apart easily under the crushing force of the giant clawed talons. Jongup has never seen a monster so big, and it fascinates him. The bomb shelters should still be safe from its reach, though, and that’s where all the townspeople have evacuated.
Daehyun, fall back, Yongguk says via his telepathic connection to them all, directing it to the second of the team’s three ground units, and their only weapon-wielder. Jongup has no idea where Daehyun is, but he figures Daehyun has just overextended again. The half-bird, half-dragon monster has gotten dangerously close. It was supposed to be the last ground unit Himchan’s job to keep it at bay. It wouldn’t be good for Daehyun to be in such close range.
Jongup realizes he just got distracted again and considers returning fire when something far more damaging than a brick hurtles towards him.
Himchan! Yongguk’s voice echoes lowly and urgently through his brain as he registers the incoming danger.
Himchan can normally control his density with precision, but he has a tendency to lose control of that when he gets scared. It wouldn't be so bad if his instinct was to turn himself feather-light, but he somehow developed the gut reaction that the way to be safe was to turn himself into a mini-planet. Jongup's thighs tense as he digs his feet into the ground, resisting Himchan's gravitational pull and bracing himself for impact at the same time.
At least, that is what he would have done, but Daehyun rematerializes between them, shooting Jongup a panicked look, having become invisible in the worst possible place. The slick ground probably tripped him up, and there is no way Daehyun can move fast enough out of Himchan's path. Not only do the sharp swords in his hands pose a great threat to both Jongup and Himchan, Daehyun might actually get squished flat by Himchan’s weight on impact. Jongup winces when he sees a very graphic portrayal of squished Daehyun in his head as time fast-forwards, along with the rising feeling of Youngjae’s panic.
Sometimes Youngjae’s death visions do not need to be shared, even if they are informative.
Jongup leaps up and uses his momentum to strike the ground, sending a shockwave that Daehyun uses to bounce himself into the air, narrowly avoiding collision with Himchan. Yongguk cuts off Jongup’s mental connection to Youngjae just as he feels relief replace Youngjae’s panic. At least that means Daehyun’s no longer in mortal danger. As time returns to normal, Jongup doesn't have time to brace himself for impact and Himchan knocks him down.
With Himchan on top of him, he struggles to regain his breath. It's knocked out of him again as Daehyun is pulled into their small cluster by Himchan’s gravity. Jongup doesn’t even have time to react with the second impact, and all of a sudden his body loses its strength. Did his powers just fail? He feels his chest cave in as he can no longer support Himchan’s weight. Is he going to die?
HIMCHAN. Yongguk's voice is more forceful than Jongup has ever heard it.
Jongup feels a wave of guilt-Himchan's-wash over him. Himchan is struggling to keep calm long enough to take control of his instincts but it's not working. His gravity is now strong enough to drag in the giant monster they're supposed to be putting down.
Now Jongup isn’t breathing anymore and soon they’re all going to be pancakes if Himchan doesn’t stop pulling the beast in.
They’re saved by an explosion from nowhere that knocks the beast into the air. At that very moment, Himchan decides to regain control over his density, and the three fly backwards from the shock of the explosion.
Jongup still has his ordinary human flexibility and manages to land on his feet. He picks up a rock and crumbles it in his hands. Weird, his power is back. Himchan and Daehyun land a bit less gracefully, but they seem to be okay, picking themselves up, ready for round two with the monster. Daehyun’s figure starts to melt into the rain when Yongguk’s back inside their heads. It’s gone.
Judging by the deafening silence in their heads after those terse words, they did not do well. The monster really is gone, and the rain starts to let up.
Yongguk's airship lands beside them, the doors opening to reveal a somber-looking Youngjae. Jongup knows by that look that they've been a disappointment. They're in for it when they get back to headquarters.
Being a superhero is definitely not all it's cracked up to be, Jongup thinks, looking to each of his teammates’ pale, nauseated faces as they ascend into the airship.
*
From the top of the airship ramp, Jongup turns around to take one last wistful look at the wreckage. The ramp starts to retract, when he sees something stir underneath a pile of rubble. It could be another stray kitten, trapped without oxygen, he thinks, like the one he’d rescued from the last mission. Maybe it’s because he used to be one, but Jongup has a weakness for rescuing helpless creatures. Yongguk wouldn’t mind, he’s the one who instilled those principles in Jongup in the first place. “Wait,” he calls, leaping down from the airship.
He makes his way to the pile of rubble where he thinks he saw movement. The rocks shift again, and Jongup realizes it’s much bigger than a kitten. He quickly clears the pile away. A sudden response shocks him, as a dust-covered human-shaped figure sits up and starts coughing up ashes. What is a human doing here? They all should have hidden away in their bomb shelters when the SOS was sounded. Jongup can tell it’s a boy, maybe even younger than him, even though all Jongup can make of his face is the eyes, standing out white on top of brown-black dirt.
The startled wide eyes meet Jongup’s for a moment and then roll back as the boy they belong to faints. Jongup catches him before his head hits the ground. Again, that is. Jongup’s stomach flips when he sees the egg-sized lump on the boy’s forehead and the blood trickling down his thin neck from another wound hidden underneath the hair, matted with dirt and dried blood.
Jongup squeezes his eyes shut, blood makes him queasy. He pulls the boy completely out of the gravel and slings him over his back. It’s awkward, the kid is too tall. His feet drag along the ground.
He rearranges it so that he’s carrying the boy in his arms instead, head propped upright against Jongup’s chest. Jongup needs to get him to Youngjae. Youngjae’s much better at dealing with gore.
*
“What is it this time?”
Jongup hears Daehyun before he sees him. Daehyun pokes his head out of the cabin as Jongup approaches the ramp again. “Another kit-? Oh.” His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and forgets his words for a moment. He blinks and jostles back into motion, disappearing back into the cabin.
Jongup goes through the door a few moments later to find Daehyun gone and Youngjae already at work, pulling out the convertible seats to form a makeshift table with practiced ease.
“Head trauma, but he’s breathing.” Jongup gives his brief diagnosis as Youngjae tugs the table one last time before it gives an audible click.
“Careful,” Youngjae instructs, laying a clean cloth over the table and moving to grab his medical supplies from overhead.
“What’s going on?” The cockpit door slams as Yongguk bursts through, Daehyun and Himchan in tow.
Gingerly, Jongup lays the boy down on the table, watching as his blood paints the white sheet a bright red. Taking one good look, Yongguk’s back in the cockpit. “Strap him in,” he says. “We’re getting him back to base.”
Everybody but Youngjae straps in to their seats. Jongup can only watch Youngjae’s back as he works on stanching the boy’s wounds. Jongup sits on his hands and looks out the window. Their tower, the location of their base, is so tall he can see it from the mission site. It looks imposing overlooking the rest of the buildings of their city.
Jongup watches the tower get closer and tries to think about anything but their failed mission.
*
Jongup is 5 when he manifests his superhuman strength and is whisked off to the Academy. He spends the majority of his first year alone and missing his parents. He cries a lot, but that's nothing to be ashamed of as a 5 year old, he thinks.
Halfway through his second year, he no longer cries because of his parents, because he only remembers them by the one photograph he owns. Instead, he cries because the other kids hit him but he won’t hit back. He might break them.
One time it hurts too much and he starts crying before he can hide away in his sanctuary among the toilets. A wooden toy block smacks his tormentor's face from out of nowhere, dropping to the floor and leaving a howling mess of a nosebleed and tears.
"Oops, it slipped." A voice so soft only Jongup can hear surprises him out of his crying. He looks back and meets eyes with the scariest kid in his class, a wielder of mind powers classified as “Most Dangerous.” He also happens to be revered as the whiz kid possessing near perfect control over his powers. 10-year-old Yongguk grins widely at Jongup, and suddenly he’s no longer the scariest kid in class. Jongup smiles back. He doesn't cry much more after that.
*
Jongup admires Yongguk. He was the star student at the Academy, the prodigy with a rare power and an even rarer discipline over it. Mind melding is dangerous, a little slip and the stronger mind may overwhelm the weaker one, yet Yongguk could maintain control over an entire team's worth of connections. With his team-oriented power and excellent grades, there weren't many who were surprised when he was chosen as the youngest leader of the Best Absolute Powers.
All the expectations piled on Yongguk’s shoulders then, naturally fell to the people he would choose as his team. Each one of them has been handpicked for their power, as well as their control over it.
For example, Youngjae has a pretty terrifying power, the ability to foresee deaths moments before they happen. Usually that leads him to try and prevent them. At the Academy, he focused that energy on learning how to administer emergency care. Jongup wonders how Youngjae isn’t a nervous wreck from all the deaths he couldn’t prevent. In fact, Youngjae is one of the most levelheaded people Jongup knows. Youngjae just says that dealing with death just makes him appreciate life more and that’s why he can be so calm about it.
On the other hand, Himchan's power is just weird. The most use Himchan was making out of his ability to change his density was to make himself weigh less for the scales. Until he met Yongguk, at least. Jongup has no idea how Yongguk was so effective in helping Himchan Refine his power, but now Himchan’s skin armor leaves Jongup with bruises when they practice hand-to-hand combat.
Daehyun’s power is the best. Well, there is no actual best, but Jongup finds the most amusement in it, only because of the person it was bestowed to. It would be a more useful power if Daehyun could stand being ignored, but his invisibility only lasts as long as he can hold his tongue. In combat though, Daehyun’s stealth and speed were no laughing matter and in a pinch, Daehyun’s dramatically final reappearances from nowhere were a godsend. Wielding his dual swords, he cuts quite a striking figure and he knows it. That’s the moment that Daehyun lives for.
The last member is none other than Jongup himself. In Yongguk’s star-studded team, Jongup with his super strength feels extraordinarily ordinary. Even with Yongguk’s assurances that his power isn’t boring, Jongup sometimes wonders if he’s only on the team because everybody else with somewhat useful powers lost them after their Refinement, or because Yongguk’s known him the longest.
He wonders that the most during times like now, when Yongguk is giving them one of his serious talks. He doesn’t raise his voice or yell, but the way his voice softens and the way disappointment laces itself in his voice is more terrifying than anger could ever be. The unconscious tall kid Jongup rescued only buys them a little bit of time while they set him up in an intensive care pod. After he is stabilized they can do nothing to escape from Yongguk.
“It’s easy for me to see everything because I was linked to all of you,” Yongguk starts. “But you guys should know what you did wrong.” He nods towards Himchan, who takes it as a cue to begin his self-reflection.
“I lost control of my powers.” Himchan gives Yongguk a pitiful look. It’s different for Himchan, because he’s the same age as Yongguk, and he plays just as big a part in leading the team. “I’m sorry, I’ve been slacking on my training lately.”
Yongguk just sighs.
Next is Jongup. “I got distracted,” he says. He doesn’t say anything about the other things that happened, like him almost getting flattened into a pancake.
He can tell Yongguk doesn’t know what to say to that. “If your motivation is to protect your teammates, you might not get distracted so easily.” Jongup nods, but he thinks that it’s a lot easier said than done. He loves his hyungs a lot and wants them to be safe already. The problem is he doesn’t think he has the power to help them when they’re all so much more capable than he is. But Yongguk is already moving on to Daehyun.
“I misjudged my placement,” Daehyun says, wincing before he adds on an “again.” Yongguk waits, and Daehyun can’t meet his level stare. “And I didn’t listen to orders to back out.”
“You don’t have to carry the team, Daehyun.” Daehyun nods at Yongguk’s words. “Your teammates trust you to be where you’re supposed to be.
Yongguk turns his attention onto Youngjae. Out of them all, Youngjae has made the least mistakes. “I panicked,” is all he says.
“Youngjae, you completely lost your head.” Yongguk states it in a way that makes no room for excuses.
Youngjae’s eyes flick over to Daehyun and back to the floor. He bites his lower lip and nods. “It won’t happen again.”
Yongguk is silent for a moment as he regards Youngjae. “No, it probably will,” he says, but his voice is much softer. “I know it’s easy to lose it when it’s your bond partner. But you have to understand, you’ll have a better chance of saving him if you keep a clear head.”
Still chewing on his lip, Youngjae nods again, and bows his head further. Jongup tries to understand as much as he can without having his own bond mate the pain Youngjae must have been put through, having to witness Daehyun’s death, even if it wasn’t real. Before his Refinement, Youngjae’s powers were far more uncontrollable, and he couldn’t block out the death visions, even if they weren’t in close range. If not for Daehyun, Youngjae’s powers might have driven him insane before they stabilized.
“And trust your teammates,” Yongguk adds, sternly again. “That goes for all of you, understand?” Everybody nods in sync. “Okay, you can go.”
Jonguppie, Yongguk barely touches his back and brushes his mind as everybody else retreats into their rooms. Jongup falls back and turns around. "You fluctuated," Yongguk says when they're alone.
Oh. Jongup remembers losing his powers. That's what that weird thing was. Fluctuations in the potency of a superpower signify the start of Refinement. It’s a common part of growing up, associated with puberty and hormones, but Jongup's had somehow skipped him. The rest of his body had developed normally so he just expected they would never come.
"You should take a break," Yongguk says. “You know, find someone.” His cheeks redden a bit, despite the wise older brother role he is playing. "But the sooner you figure it out, the better it will be for the team, you know what I mean?"
Jongup nods. One thing different about fluctuations is that they're associated with maturation of emotions. More specifically, romantic emotions. The stronger the emotional bond, the stronger the power will be at the end of Refinement. That is why his team is the Best Absolute Powers, they had the strongest pair bonds at the Academy, with the exception of Jongup, who they had thought just missed Refinement entirely. They had figured it was a good thing, because he got to keep his powers and didn’t have to deal with the hassle of bonding. Jongup has long contented himself to having the romantic tendencies equivalent to a rock, and non-magnetic one at that.
Now that Jongup is starting his Refinement, he is confused to no end. It isn’t the end of the world if Jongup doesn’t find a bond partner. But he knows he will lose some of his powers, if not all of them. Jongup doesn’t really care about losing his powers, fighting evil can get tiring, but he can’t imagine life without his team. He doesn’t have any other family besides them.
Drawing his eyebrows together, he decides that even if it’s troublesome, he needs to get bonded.
*
Instead of returning to his chamber, Jongup goes to the hospital wing. He wonders if the boy has come around yet. He would probably like some company if he did wake up, Jongup reasons.
The kid is sound asleep when Jongup arrives however, but Jongup stays for a bit, watching the peaceful face underneath the heavily bandaged forehead. Cleaned up, the kid looks so young, his skin pale and smooth. And soft, Jongup thinks as he reaches out and brushes it without really thinking about what he’s doing.
As if Jongup's touch were a hot iron, the boy's eyes snap open, his breathing hitches, and his body stiffens. Surprised, Jongup jerks his hand back. Jongup freezes as he watches the boy fighting with something internal, his eyes wide open, scared, and unseeing while he breathes shallowly.
Before Jongup can buzz for a nurse, the short breaths even out. The now wide-awake boy finally focuses his eyes on Jongup, his eyelids drooping back down and a frown creasing his brow. It’s a change from how peaceful he was sleeping just moments before.
The boy starts to struggle into an upright position, and Jongup immediately reaches out to push him back down. "Wait," he says, even as his hand is swatted away. He pushes a button on the side of the bed, and it folds up slowly. The boy stops scowling long enough to look curious.
Jongup pulls his chair closer and sits down, watching as the boy alternates looking at his shifting backrest and Jongup. "Where am I?" he finally asks after the bed stops moving, now propping him up into a sitting position. His head is cocked and Jongup gets distracted by his blinking. His eyebrows draw together again. "Who are you?"
“Moon Jongup, at your service.” Jongup smiles at his petulance and greets him with a small salute. “You’re in our base’s hospital.”
"Base? What base? Why?" Before Jongup answers, the boy winces and reaches up and touches his forehead. "Oh…"
"Slow down." Jongup laughs. The kid had been so busy asking questions he didn't even realize he was in pain. Jongup hasn't seen anything so interesting in a while. "How about a name first?"
The boy looks at Jongup with round eyes, his mouth a matching o. He considers for a moment. "Choi Junhong," he says, seeming to decide that Jongup is on his side. "But everybody calls me a menace," he adds with a proud grin that makes his eyes into little crescent lines.
"Everybody?" Jongup asks absently, paying more attention to the dimples that formed on Junhong's cheeks. "Like your family?"
Junhong looks down and purses his lips. "I guess they were, but I ran away."
"Won't your parents be worried?" Jongup frowns.
"I'm an orphan," Junhong says, looking up brightly at Jongup again. "I ran away from boarding school, not a home."
“Oh.” Jongup isn’t sure what to say. He supposes he should be sorry, but Junhong doesn’t sound sad at all when he calls himself an orphan. Jongup understands; his parents are only fuzzy memories now. “Wouldn’t they worry about you?” he asks instead of trying to convey his sympathy.
Shaking his head vehemently, Junhong wrinkles his nose in distaste. “They don’t care about me at all. All they care about is that I’m perfectly well behaved and the only thing they let me do was study.”
Jongup feels like he should be responsible and send Junhong back to the boarding school, because running away from home is no light matter, but Junhong clearly didn’t want to stay there. He wonders if the school mistreated him. “Why did you run away then?”
Junhong shrugs. “I didn’t want to study; I wanted to rap.”
“They wouldn’t let you?” Jongup had no idea that the government kept such close tabs on their wards of state. He tries to imagine what it’d be like if he weren’t allowed to dance.
“It’s just me, too. Apparently I was the only survivor of some disaster that came through my town and so somehow it was my fault and they keep track of everything I do. I used to be able to write lyrics in secret,” Junhong says, “but recently they’ve become stricter and wouldn’t leave me alone, so I ran away.”
Jongup still thinks it’s a bit farfetched of the government to think he brought the destruction upon his town as a baby. “You can write it here,” Jongup says, making a mental note to bring down paper and pens to the hospital ward.
“Can I really?” Junhong’s eyes sparkle. Jongup always thought that orphans would be more…sad or something, but now that Junhong’s warmed up to him, he can’t imagine Junhong not smiling or excited.
Jongup nods, and hums a reply. “So you don’t really have a family?”
“Nope,” Junhong shakes his head. “Well, I don’t know what family is like so I wouldn’t know, but I don’t think so.”
Even though Jongup hasn’t seen his parents in over 15 years, he still feels like he has family. His team is his family. He doesn’t think anybody should be without a family, and right now, all he wants to do is share that with Junhong. “You can be a part of our family.”
“Really?” Junhong’s eyes go round again. “So I can call you-wait, how old are you?”
“18.”
“So I can call you Jongup-hyung?” Junhong asks. “I’m 16,” he adds, for Jongup’s benefit. Jongup’s never been a hyung before; he has always been the baby of the group. Jongup-hyung. He rolls the phrase around in his head, testing it out. He thinks he likes the sound of it.
“Yeah, Jongup-hyung is fine.”
*
Jongup is 10 when he learns to be alone again. That's when he meets Himchan. Or rather, that's when Yongguk meets Himchan.
Himchan is new to the Academy, nobody having noticed his power until he fluctuated and almost floated away. The only evidence of his power is the medical records that baffled doctors. He simply did not look his weight.
Chubby, overly quiet, and nerdy, Himchan doesn’t fit in. Himchan's inability to socialize with the class, along with Yongguk's heart for people in need results in a fast friendship. Due to Yongguk’s encouragement, Himchan finds his voice and self-confidence. As for Yongguk, he has finally met his mental match and Jongup has never seen him more excited.
It's not like Yongguk and Himchan ignore Jongup, it's just that Jongup used to be stuck to Yongguk's side and suddenly he's not always there anymore. It's a good thing, and Jongup discovers he likes doing some things that Yongguk doesn't like, such as dancing. Also, although Yongguk is not boring, Jongup could only handle sitting still for so long while Yongguk worked at song lyrics for hours on end. Yongguk has Himchan for that now.
But he is still alone. At first, Jongup finds any reason to dislike Himchan. He thinks all the attention and physical affection Himchan lavishes on him is some sort of ploy to get Yongguk’s attention. Somehow, Himchan’s persistence wins over Jongup’s reluctance and he realizes that Himchan, in fact, is everything Yongguk made him out to be.
Jongup would never admit it out loud, but he likes when Himchan messes up his hair, or when Himchan gives him impromptu backrubs or one-armed side hugs. He’s pretty sure Himchan knows even though he doesn’t say it aloud. Jongup might like him even more than he likes Yongguk-hyung.
*
Jongup can’t sleep that night. He worries too much about his untimely Refinement and finding a bond partner. After his brain sends itself on a downward spiral of thoughts of being kicked out of the team, Jongup decides that he needs to talk to somebody.
Himchan feels like the most comfortable hyung to talk about his problems with, so Jongup rolls out of bed and pays a visit to Himchan's room. He catches Himchan as he's preparing to go to sleep, but he realizes he doesn't even know what he wants to ask.
"Do you need hyung's advice?" Himchan asks when Jongup doesn't say anything for a while. He sounds cautious, as if he is waiting for Jongup's permission to be excited.
"Kinda." Jongup purses his lips. "Yeah."
Instantly, Himchan's face lights up. He sits down cross-legged on his bed and pats the spot next to him. He hands Jongup a pillow and grabs one for himself after Jongup hesitantly takes it. "We need pillows," Himchan says, "if we're going to pillow talk."
Jongup just looks at Himchan weirdly. "Okay, hyung."
Himchan responds by slinging an arm around Jongup's shoulders. "So, what's up?"
Jongup hugs his pillow and draws up his knees. "Did Yongguk-hyung tell you about my...?" He gestures up and down his body.
"Fluctuations?" Himchan fills it in for him. Jongup nods. "Yeah," Himchan says, despite the fact that it's redundant.
There's no great way of going around it, so Jongup just asks straight up. "How am I supposed to bond?"
Himchan laughs, but it's not a condescending laugh. "Jonguppie, you're the cutest," he says, squeezing Jongup's knee. "Bonding is something that happens naturally when you love somebody and they love you back. You don't have to think too much about it."
"I love our members," Jongup says. He thinks the other way around is true. He hopes it's true. "But it doesn't work that way, does it?"
Himchan shakes his head. "It's a bit different." He looks down and picks at the fuzz on his pillow. "Your bond partner will be your best friend, who you can tell anything to, but that's not all." Himchan's eyes grow distant and Jongup thinks he's probably thinking of Yongguk by the way he doesn't realize he's smiling as he's talking. "You think they're beautiful, even if they just woke up with drool dried to their face and their hair sticking up." Now Jongup's sure Himchan's thinking about Yongguk. The marking on Himchan’s left forearm, the soul chain binding him to Yongguk, is glowing. Jongup thinks it is one of the most beautiful things he has ever seen. "You'll also find that you want to share everything with them. Experiences, laughs, music, food...even your own body."
Jongup's forehead wrinkles in worry. "How do you do that? You don’t have body swapping powers, do you?"
Himchan laughs again, much harder now, doubling over this time. "Jonguppie, you're the best," he says between fits. Jongup waits for him to calm down and wipe a few tears away from his eyes. "No, simple things, like holding hands." He takes Jongup's hand and squeezes. "Kissing, too, and other stuff, but you don't want to kiss me, right?"
Jongup makes a face. "Not particularly."
"I'd kiss you," Himchan says magnanimously.
Jongup contemplates in silence for a bit. "But how come I haven't felt that way about anybody before? What's wrong with me?"
Himchan grabs his shoulders and won't let Jongup break eye contact. "Nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you Jonguppie. Make sure you know that, alright?"
Jongup nods, and Himchan lets go.
"Late bloomers always bloom the most beautifully," Himchan says, pinching Jongup's cheeks. In that moment, Jongup is so thankful, and wishes he was capable of expressing his gratitude. It's easy for Himchan, who always uses affection with them, but for Jongup, it's harder than carrying a boulder three miles, which he has done before.
"Thanks, hyung," Jongup says, and surprises Himchan with a tight squeeze. He tries to put the things he can't express with words into the hug, but Himchan probably already knows. Himchan returns it just as tightly.
"Anytime.” Jongup feels it’s about the right time to pull away. Except Himchan isn't letting go. Jongup tries to wiggle out of his grasp, but Himchan is relishing in the fact that Jongup initiated it. "You should come to hyung more often," Himchan says, and finally releases Jongup.
Now that Jongup thinks about it, talking to Himchan honestly went so much better than expected, and he thinks that he might just take Himchan up on the offer. He nods. "Okay."
Jongup is about to get up from the bed when Himchan grabs his hand. "Hey, want to sleep over tonight?"
Jongup's never had a sleepover before. “Okay,” he says, just so he can see Himchan excited. Maybe he’s a bit excited too. He watches as Himchan crawls under the covers and raises them, beckoning Jongup to join him. Jongup lies down and lets Himchan tuck him in.
He falls asleep to stories about Yongguk's time at the Academy, stories that even he's never heard of, and a warm comfort that doesn’t come from Himchan's blanket.
*
Junhong recovers remarkably quickly, already out of the ward and following Jongup around as soon as the nurses let him out.
He meets the others and he gets along easily with them all, even Himchan who he thinks is weird, but he still likes Jongup the best. Jongup also doesn't mind taking Junhong around, letting Junhong borrow all his games and comics, or showing Junhong how he dances.
Junhong is curious about everything, and Jongup, who normally prefers being by himself, finds that he very much enjoys Junhong's company. The first time Jongup goes to practice dance, Junhong jumps up and down and won't stop wiggling.
"I've never been allowed to dance," Junhong says, his eyes shining. "My school only had academic clubs."
"You won't be disappointed." Jongup smiles, calm and serene compared to Junhong who is bouncing off the walls. He sets down his speakers and presses play on his mp3. He watches for a moment as Junhong's erratic head-bobs conform to the tune.
Soon he's feeling the beat too, and he lets his body go. He's never really danced for anybody before, so he can't help but sneak a few glances at Junhong's reaction. Junhong had gone completely still and all he’s doing is watching Jongup. Junhong watches so intently that Jongup wonders if his eyes will be okay from not blinking.
To Jongup's surprise, Junhong jumps in and starts to dance as well, trying out some of Jongup's moves and also throwing in some of his own. Jongup starts imitating Junhong back at him, and soon they're less dancing and more waving their arms and shaking their hips at each other. It makes Jongup laugh so hard he ends up on the floor with Junhong lying across his stomach.
"Teach me," Junhong says when he catches his breath. Jongup sits up on his elbows and tries to look at Junhong. It does not work very well.
Jongup rolls away and sits up so he can look at Junhong in the eye. "I should be asking you to teach me," he grins. He's only half kidding. Without anybody else to dance with he feels a bit stuck, and making up new moves with Junhong is refreshing.
Junhong doesn't even know how much it had meant, but he matches Jongup's grin with his own lopsided one. "Only if you teach me first."
"It's a deal," Jongup says, offering a hand.
Junhong's hand is as warm as his smile. "Deal."
*
Jongup is in the middle of taking stock of the fridge with Junhong when the intercom in the kitchen crackles. “Team meeting in 10,” says Yongguk’s voice through the com. Jongup closes the fridge. His cooking experiment with Junhong will have to wait until later.
Junhong turns towards Jongup, his face shining with awe. “Team meeting?”
“Do you want to come?” Jongup asks, and Junhong nods fervently. Pushing the button to the kitchen intercom, Jongup speaks into the mic on the wall. “Yongguk-hyung, can Junhong come?”
It’s silent for a moment. “Yeah,” Yongguk’s voice comes through again. “In fact I think he’d better come.”
Jongup exchanges a glance with Junhong, and he doesn’t miss the worry that flashes across Junhong’s face.
*
"The reason I called you guys here," Yongguk says when they have all gathered, unrolling a newspaper, "is this." He points to the picture in the center of the page.
It's Junhong, underneath the large block of letters that spell out "MISSING."
“Do they know I’m here?” Junhong blurts out before anybody can react.
"The state is searching for him," Yongguk explains. He turns towards Junhong. “Nobody knows you’re here right now, but should they?”
Junhong shrinks against Jongup’s side. “I don’t want to go back,” he says forlornly, and for a moment he looks like a child being scolded by his mother.
"Can't we keep him?" Jongup asks what he thinks is the obvious.
Yongguk gives him a searching look and sighs. Jongup knows Yongguk has a soft spot for him as the youngest, though Jongup rarely ever takes advantage of it. "You know we'd be committing a crime by hiding him."
"It won't be for long," Junhong says, eager to make his case. "I'll go back eventually."
"I like Junhong," Youngjae supplies helpfully.
Daehyun also nods. "He can help out with chores," he adds.
Youngjae shoves him. "Don't try to get out of your toilet-scrubbing duties."
"I'll scrub the toilets," Junhong says, almost bouncing with excitement. Jongup has never seen anybody so enthusiastic about cleaning toilets. He smiles without realizing it.
"Let's definitely keep him," Daehyun says, grinning smugly. Youngjae punches him in the arm.
Everybody looks at Yongguk, and Yongguk looks at Himchan. Himchan shrugs. Sighing, Yongguk buries his face in his hands. “Okay, for now.”
“Thanks, Yongguk-hyung,” Jongup says, beaming.
“Yeah, thanks, Yongguk-hyung,” Junhong echos, as he wiggles his shoulders in excitement. Yongguk lifts his eyebrows at Junhong’s unexpected use of “hyung,” but he smiles at it. Jongup feels a warm pride seeing how easily Junhong is being accepted into his family.
*
Jongup’s not allowed to go on missions because of his fluctuations. Missing the first few missions with his team is okay, especially with the bitterness of the last failure fresh on his mind. He probably needs the break. But after the first few, staying at home makes Jongup antsy.
Junhong is a good distraction though, and they keep each other entertained. They dance, read comics, and play Pokemon on the DS together. Jongup even gets Junhong to show him his top secret rap. Jongup thinks it’s good enough to show Yongguk, and manages to convince Junhong likewise. Jongup can’t explain the pride he feels when Yongguk agrees with his assessment and invites Junhong to record with him.
The rain is relentless and persistent, so they mostly stay inside. When Jongup finds out that Junhong hasn’t seen any movies before, he takes it upon himself to show Junhong all of his childhood classics.
Within the first few minutes of the first movie they watch, Jongup decides that he likes watching movies with Junhong in the same way he enjoys watching movies with Youngjae. Junhong stomps his feet and claps whenever he finds something entertaining, and it renews Jongup’s interest in the movies he’s seen countless times.
Halfway through, Junhong rests his head on Jongup’s shoulder. It takes Jongup by surprise. Himchan does it all the time, but it feels different with Junhong. He loses his concentration on the movie and instead focuses on relaxing and not being too stiff. He probably fails, but Junhong, too busy watching the movie, doesn’t notice.
*
As the week goes along, the rain shows no sign of stopping, but one day the weather finally clears up. Jongup takes advantage of this day to take Junhong out to explore the city. He wants to see Junhong’s reactions to the street vendors and all the shops and restaurants.
“Whoaaa,” Junhong doesn’t stop saying as they enter the city market. They are greeted by colorful signs and advertisements, along with the smell of breakfast foods. Jongup buys them both some meat buns when he sees Junhong practically drooling over them. “These are amazing,” Junhong says as the juice from the bun runs down his chin. By instinct, Jongup reaches up to wipe it clean. Junhong startles at Jongup’s touch, and Jongup pulls his hand back, embarrassed. “No, it’s okay, you just surprised me,” Junhong says quickly, and allows Jongup to wipe the napkin across his mouth.
They stop at a stall selling handcrafted statuettes, some made of wood, some of straw, some of glass. “How’s business been?” Jongup asks the vendor while Junhong admires all of the little figurines, inspecting them in his hand carefully.
“The rain’s discouraged a lot of people from coming,” the vendor replies. “But today’s been good.”
Jongup bends down next to Junhong to look at the charms. He frowns as he looks closer. They’re vibrating against the table surface. “Are these supposed to be-”
A strong tremor upends the entire table, sending the figures flying. Jongup instinctively catches as many as he can, and Junhong does the same. Together, they manage to save most of them, but a few of the glass ones shatter upon hitting the floor.
“What’s going on?” Junhong shouts over the sounds of panic coming from all over the market.
“Earthquake,” Jongup shouts back, but the shaking has already stopped. He rights the table and puts the statuettes in his hands back.
“Thanks,” the flustered vendor says. “I take back what I said. What’s going on in this world? Earthquakes…” he mutters, as Junhong and Jongup excuse themselves.
Jongup also wonders what in the world is going on. He stays and explores more with Junhong until the sun goes down, but he can’t help but feel a pit of fear gnawing at his belly.
*
Contrary to popular belief, Jongup is a pensive thinker. He gets wrapped up in his thoughts even more when he doesn't have anything else to do, and being unable to go on the last few missions with the others has set him so far inside his head he can't sleep. He keeps thinking about his teammates, how he finds his family in them, and whether he'd still be accepted if he lost his powers. He wonders what Junhong feels like, to not have anybody to call his family. He tries putting himself in that position and can't.
As he lies in bed, he turns his unseeing eyes up towards the ceiling. He thinks a lot about finding a bond partner. He isn't looking very hard for one. It seems too troublesome, anyways. He keeps thinking and worrying until he hears a knock on his door.
"Mm?" He doesn't bother getting up.
The door cracks open. It's Junhong. He can tell by the long silhouette blocking out the light in his doorframe. "Hyung, are you awake?"
"What do you think?" Jongup laughs. Junhong returns it weakly. He seems hesitant for once, not sure what to do with himself as he lingers by the foot of Jongup's bed.
"I had a bad dream."
"Mm."Jongup rolls over on his bed to make room. "Did you want to sleep here tonight?"
"Kind of," Junhong says, but Jongup knows from how quickly he climbs into the tiny bed that he meant yes. The bed really only has room for one person comfortably, or two if personal space doesn't matter. Junhong seems to have no problem with it. His long limbs fit snugly up against Jongup. "I get sleep paralysis."
Jongup remembers when he saw Junhong wake up for the first time. He had seemed terrified.
Jongup wraps his arm behind Junhong's head, letting Junhong use it like a pillow. "I'll keep you safe from nightmares," he says, petting Junhong's hair.
"It's working," Junhong yawns, and buries his head into Jongup's shoulder. "G'night," he murmurs, half-asleep already.
His breathing is deep and even, sending puffs of warm air over Jongup's collarbone. Jongup looks down at the pale skin of Junhong's face, almost glowing in the dark, and all of a sudden he is too conscious of the way Junhong's hair tickles his neck, the way Junhong's forearm rests along his chest, the way Junhong's legs are too long so they curl up and rest on his thigh.
Jongup's heart quickens to his surprise, and he's afraid Junhong will be able to hear it. He's afraid to move at all. His fingers stop working at Junhong's hair for a moment, but quickly resume when Junhong subconsciously whines.
His face suddenly feels like it is on fire. A thought suddenly hits him. It isn’t surprising, considering he has been worrying about all night. Is this what soulbonding is? He always thought that getting a bond partner was weird and boring, but the more he thinks about it, the more he feels like if Junhong were to soulbond with him, he wouldn't mind. Junhong is always interesting, he makes Jongup smile, and he thinks dancing with Jongup is cool. Jongup likes being with him.
Even though the hyungs don't display it publicly, Jongup's seen them do things sometimes that bond mates are supposed to do, like holding hands. He recalls his conversation with Himchan. Or kissing. He looks down at Junhong sleeping against his chest. Junhong's mouth is slightly open, and he might be starting to drool on Jongup's shirt, but his wet lips are shiny and beautiful in the darkness. Jongup thinks he wouldn't mind kissing them either.
In fact, now that Jongup thinks about it, he wants to kiss them. He's got half a mind to try, but he catches himself and freezes. Would Junhong mind? What if Junhong thinks kissing is gross, like Jongup used to think? What if Junhong thinks kissing Jongup is gross?
Jongup turns his gaze back to the ceiling, where he can't see Junhong's glowing soft skin or his pretty lips. He really needs to stop thinking and go to sleep. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to pretend that Junhong's body next to him is just another rescued kitten staying the night.
The cutest kitten I've ever rescued, Jongup thinks, and he knows it's going to be a long, long night.
*
The first thing Jongup realizes when he wakes up is that he cannot breathe. He can't move, either. It feels like everything is pressed in on him, and he's trying his best, but his body won't move.
His eyes are open but they can't see anything. The darkness is so vast, yet he feels so trapped.
After a terrifying moment, he is able to draw a deep gasp of air and his fingers twitch. He blinks and his vision returns slowly. As he regains awareness of his surroundings, he remembers that Junhong is nestled close to his side.
He suppresses a groan as his heart starts racing and his breathing shallows. Sleeping on it did him no good whatsoever. In fact, in the morning light, Junhong looks even more perfect with his face smushed into Jongup's shoulder. His eyelashes glow in the sunlight. Half of his opened mouth rests on Jongup's bare skin, and Jongup lets the idea of those lips working at his collarbones enter his mind.
When the last thought passes through he immediately feels a wave of guilt and shame wash over him. He feels a sudden need to move and he lets out a frustrated yell. Too late, he remembers that Junhong is still on him as he rolls onto his stomach.
Junhong yelps as he hits the floor. He recovers just as quickly, rolling over on his back and looking at Jongup. “What was that?"
Jongup freezes for a moment, his mind catching up to his body. "It's your punishment," he finally comes up with.
"What did I do?" Junhong pulls himself up to a sitting position, rubbing his shoulder. The pitiful look on his face makes Jongup feel worse.
"You gave me your sleep paralysis." Jongup pulls the covers up to his neck and curls up as Junhong climbs back onto the bed. He doesn't think he can handle any more skin-to-skin contact with Junhong at the moment.
Junhong takes that as permission to jump on top of him. "You're so tiny," Junhong says as he sits on Jongup's waist and tries to wrestle the covers off.
His attempts do nothing against Jongup's strengthened grip, and Jongup pulls the covers higher over his head. "No I'm not, you're just huge," he says, muffled by the thick comforter. He curls up a little tighter.
Giving up, Junhong slides down next to Jongup and crosses his legs. He pushes at Jongup's back. "Jonguppie-hyung, get up."
Jongup replies with a grunt.
"You woke me up, now keep me company." Junhong jiggles at his arm.
Another grunt.
"I'm sorry about giving you sleep paralysis." The shaking stops for a moment. "Even though I don't think sleep paralysis is contagious."
The longest grunt of all. It's true, Jongup knows that sleep paralysis is another normal part of Refinement, signifying the next stage. It means worse fluctuations. He allows his head to poke back through the covers.
"Please get up?" Junhong's whisper and soft brush of his lips against the shell of Jongup's ear sends goosebumps from the back of Jongup’s neck all the way down his spine.
He jolts up, blanket still wrapped protectively around his shoulders. "I'm up," he says hastily, trying to put as much distance between them as possible on the bed meant for one.
"Okay." Junhong sits back, bounces the bed once, twice, and on the third time he swings his long legs over the side and stands up. With a "hurry up," he disappears from Jongup's room.
Jongup is left underneath his blanket cape, alone with his troublesome thoughts. Sleep paralysis means worse fluctuations. Worse fluctuations means he needs to worry about pair bonding. Pair bonding means..?
Junhong.
Jongup shakes his head and sighs. Every single thought just finds its way back to Junhong.
At this rate, it's better to not have any thoughts at all.
(part 2)