Well here I am, don't know how to say this, only thing I know is awkward silence.

[biggere]

Your eyelids close when you're around me, to shut me out.
Too many things running through my head. All the things I've done, how hard I've tried, and yet, how alone I remain. I do my best, always, to extend every inch of courtesy and compassion. I do my best. Please, someone, do something other than take my best and walk away. I don't know how many

Comments

Time doesn't heal all wounds...just brings them into perspective.

[cyran_donolad]

There is no coincidence, all the things that happen to you in your life happen because you need them to. Each teaches you a new lesson about how to handle similar future situations. Lessons in love often come at the greatest emotional expense, but can also teach you much more about yourself than you would ever have learned otherwise. I was destroyed many times by Love and each time I reforged myself, better, but still to be broken again. Finally I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and washed my hands of the whole idea of love. It was then that it found me. I denied it, fought it, tried to rationalize it away, but still it endured and eventually rose me from the pit I had fallen into, and placed me back on my path. This is the best one thing that has ever happened to me, but it came with a cost. The cost was the hurt, and emotional distress of a good man. This gnawed at me for sometime, but sometimes we have to step back and look calmly, and objectively at the bigger picture

[moregankira]

you know... i remember an eric who said about 1-2 years ago something about how a girl would never make him stupid... that a girl would never control him... and that eric was so much less dramatic, so much less full of pain, he laughed all the time, he had dreams other than love, he was more his own person back then that he is now... now he wants to be this thing... he wants to be a person in love. i personally think you are only in love with love... not with the girl. you don't fall that easily in love with every girl that walks by... you love love.

[biggere]

Perhaps I am in love with the notion, in love with the storys, and the promise. Love has always captivated me, inspired me, and in many ways motivated me. The Eric you knew several years ago gave up on life, sure I didn't see it that way, but I had. I did have other dreams, I laughed and smiled just a bit more than I do now, but I hadn't a notion of what love was capable of... good or bad. As I have matured, so has my ideology. This very moment, this point in my life, these years, are the ones that will determine the man I will be for the rest of my life. If I don't fight for what I believe in now, I never will. It may seem obsurd to many that I should strive so hard in an inward struggle to become someone no one asks me to be, or that it should be a struggle. Before long, I will come to terms with myself and when I do, the notion of love will be a hope among others, among the many dreams I have in life. I seek love only now, I think, because I am in such inward and outward termoil with the world, that I desire that foot hold, that

[moregankira]

But I am wrong to feel as if I need love to find myself.

Just hearing you say this one sentance makes me happy.