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[biggrstaffbunch]

I don't like not valuing myself as an individual. It's not healthy, and I know I'm better than that. I wish I didn't need validation so much; unfortunately, when someone is as insecure as I am, people tend to be disappointing. And then you feel like a miserable bitch for saying something like that when you technically have so many people in your

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[takethewords]

People always disappoint me because I feel like they need to be as good at being my friend as I am to them, which sounds really more like I'm a big headed person, but it's more that I'm so needy I tend to try to be the perfect friend. And when I don't get it back, I push people away or assume they don't like me.

But um, yeah. What I'm saying is I understand and I guess we just need to get some self-confidence and stop over estimating people? I know I do anyway. But I think it's gotten better over the years, although the recent health stuff hasn't helped. (HOW IS YOUR HEALTH, BTW? DID YOU EVER FIGURE OUT WHAT WAS WRONG?!)

Also, would it help if I wrote the David/Billie fic that's been in my head all day? I've been trying to write it for hours but making you feel better might spur my inspiration on. ♥ ♥

[rosa_acicularis]

I may only know you internet-wise, darling, but I value you highly. Just so you know.

[orange_crushed]

YOUR MUSE IS JUST RESTING
She is about to start a montage. She will change into a track suit and start running up and down steps and being cheered by local children. There may be lifting of things, triumphant fist-pumping, I don't know. It's a montage.

That's kind of a dumb way of me telling you how much I like you, and respect you, and that I have years of proof of how awesome you are. (EVIDENCE IS EVERYWHERE.) You're a wonderful writer and a delightful human being, you put your all into everything you do. It's okay to have dips and valleys in the emotional chart of your life, everybody does. (Oh God, I do. And I totally identify, I am an only child and I go through these phases where I need immediate attention and validation like seagulls need to cram fish in their mouths.) But I hope you know how appreciated and loved and highly-thought-of you are. By me. And by oh so many others. :D

[hyacinthian]

[starry_eyed]

I won't try to offer helpful advice but I will say I know exactly, I mean exactly, how you feel. You're not alone. And you're not a miserable bitch. It takes some time but things come around sooner or later.

I wish I could give you a hug but I guess a virtual one will just have to do. I hope it gets better.