One Shot: Sleepwalking
2009
Osaka, 5/29
After the Tokyo Dome concerts, they headed to Osaka for 3 more concerts before the Arena Tour would start.
He watched as Kame took off his costume and slipped in comfortable, but still stylish clothes. He had his big sunglasses on even though it was almost midnight.
Together, they went to their hotel with the bus. Taguchi and Koki were already fast asleep on each others' shoulders. The concerts were pushing them to their limits but they still enjoyed them every night. They had to because they didn't know when they would get another big opportunity again.
Kame was dozing off as well. But every time his head fell on his shoulder, he would jerk up but will soon close his eyes again. When his head was about to fall on his shoulder yet again, he slightly moved to Kame’s direction and let his head rest on his shoulder already.
They became closer since last year's concert without realizing it and now it was only natural to call him Kame though he was quite hesitant at first.
When they finally arrived at the hotel, Kame roused from his sleep and rubbed his sleepy eyes.
“We've arrived,” he said.
Kame nodded before picking up his bag and leaving the bus.
“Taguchi,” the manager called Taguchi's name and his eyes fell on the figure leaning against the other's shoulder. “I guess you’ll have to share with Tanaka again. Bring him up to your room.”
He gave Taguchi a key and Taguchi made his way to the elevator with a sleeping Koki hanging on his shoulder.
“Ueda, Nakamaru. Maybe you should help Taguchi with Tanaka.” He gave them their key and they left as well. But he saw them taking a different elevator than Taguchi and Koki.
“Akanishi, Kamenashi. You two are left.”
He gave Jin the key and bid them good night.
“You want to shower first?” he asked Kame later in the room.
“No, I'm tired. I'll just go to bed.”
When he returned half an hour later to the room, he found Kame already in bed fast asleep. Lately, he hasn’t been sleeping well instead he was still wide awake at ungodly hours. It was already past 2am and still, sleep wasn’t coming to him.
It was probably because he got used to sleeping for only a few hours a day. He turned around on the hotel bed countless times before he decided to watch TV to make his eyes wear out. He turned the volume down, afraid that he might wake Kame up. There weren’t any interesting shows on TV but he still watched.
His eye lids soon felt heavy and it was difficult to keep them open any longer but then suddenly Kame got up. Kame put on his shoes and went towards the door.
“Sorry, did I wake you up?” he asked but received no reply as Kame already left the room.
He quickly followed the other out without approaching him. When Kame was about to step out of the hotel, he grabbed the other's arm to hold him back.
“Where are you going in the middle of the night? And in your pyjamas as well.”
Kame only stared at him as if he hasn't heard him at all. Then he broke away from Jin's hand and walked outside.
He was debating with himself whether he should follow Kame or not. As soon as he saw Kame’s lonely figure, he decided that he would.
Kame stopped a few minutes later when a bench was in sight and he took a seat on it. Jin sat down next to him silently and watched the fountain in front of them.
It was already the end of May and the days were starting to get warmer. The sky was clear and he could see the countless stars and a bright moon shining with them. He pulled his jacket a bit tighter around his body when his eyes fell on Kame's hand on his lap.
Without realizing what he was doing he grabbed the other's hand and felt the coldness.
“Your hands are like ice! Wait here, let me see if I can get you something warm.”
He stood up and looked around for a vending machine or a convenience store. But there was nothing in sight so he decided to walk a bit. 5 minutes later he came across a small store and asked if they had anything warm to drink.
The old man behind the counter told him that he could make coffee or tea but Jin answered that he was in a hurry. The old man told him that there was a vending machine just around the corner and that he could get something warm there.
Before he left he realized that he had no money with him. He looked into the pockets of his jacket but only found 100 Yen. He looked so troubled which made the old man ask him if there was anything wrong. He answered in a low voice that he had no money with him. He explained to the old man that he had to buy something warm for his friend who was freezing.
The old man seemed to take pity on him and gave him some money to buy something for his friend. He thanked him and promised to give him the money back the next day.
He quickly bought a warm tea and headed back to Kame.
But by the time he arrived there were suddenly 3 figures around Kame. He couldn't hear what they were saying because he was still too far away but he saw one of them grabbing Kame's wrist and trying to pull him up. Kame tried to resist and he looked so scared which made Jin drop the tea he bought. He sprinted towards them.
By the time Jin arrived, the other two took a hold on Kame and forced him up. He grabbed the person who had his hand around Kame’s wrist and punched him hard on the face. Dumbfounded, the others' grip on Kame's wrist loosened and Jin took the chance to pull Kame behind him.
“Get the fuck out before I call the police!” he shouted but they didn't seem impressed at all.
“So you must be the cutie's boyfriend. How sweet,” one of them said with smug grin on his face.
“Kame, run back to the hotel,” he whispered to the figure behind him but Kame didn't move but held onto Jin's jacket tightly.
Before he could react, a blow came towards his face and he was knocked down on the floor. They tried to kick him on the ground and succeeded a few times but he soon stood up again and threw punches into their direction. He tried to keep an eye on Kame as they fought but it distracted him too much which led to more punches on his face and stomach.
“Guys. I think we should get away. They are Johnny's,” one of them suddenly said and pointed towards an advertisement of their new album on the other side of the street.
“Fuck,” was the last thing they heard before silence settled upon them.
His aching body crashed on the ground and he tried to take deep breaths but it was difficult when every part of his body hurt.
He soon felt a cold hand touching his cheek and when he opened his eyes he saw Kame's face above his.
“Are you alright?” he asked and tried to smile.
After a few moments he tried to stand up but only succeeded with Kame's help and together they headed back to the hotel.
He told Kame to go to bed and that he was alright. Kame gave him a worried look before he complied and went to his bed.
Even though his whole body was aching, he didn't think anything was broken. Probably some bruises. He then lied down on his bed and within a few minutes he fell asleep as well.
Osaka, 5/30
Everyone gasped when Jin entered the bus. His eyes were hiding behind his sunglasses. The bruises on his face were worse than a few hours earlier. But he was sure the make up artists could do something about that. It was their job after all. Yamada-san was beyond furious but still he didn't utter a word about what happened that night.
Kame didn't mention a word either.
By the time they got back to the hotel Kame sat down on his bed and looked at him worried.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
“They are just a few bruises. Nothing to worry about,” he played down everything.
“I saw the bruises on your body when you changed costumes.”
They fell into silence before he started to laugh.
“It really isn't such a big deal. You're alright and that's good. I can cope with these few bruises.”
“Is it … my fault?”
He looked at him, surprised but Kame already disappeared into the bathroom before he could say anything.
When Kame returned to the room he went to bed immediately without a word. He went to bed as well but he couldn't sleep so he turned to the other side and faced Kame's back.
He wasn't sure if the other was already asleep but it didn't matter anyway.
“Next time, don't go out in the middle of the night alone,” he whispered in hope that Kame was still awake but when there was no reaction from Kame he sighed. “Just stay in the room or wake me up.”
Osaka, 5/31
He woke up in the middle of the night when he accidentally lied on his right arm and pain shot through his body.
“Fuck,” he muttered silently under his breath.
He glanced over to the other bed to find it empty. He quickly shot up from his bed, grabbed a jacket and headed downstairs. He looked around the lobby but there was only the receptionist.
“Excuse me, did someone come down here?” he asked her.
“You mean Kamenashi-san? He came down half an hour ago.”
“Where did he go?”
She told him that Kame went outside and turned right so he followed her instruction and found Kame on the same bench as two days ago. He sighed relieved and sat down next to him.
“Haven't you learned anything from that night? You shouldn't go out like this in the middle of the night.”
Kame didn't answer him but continued to stare ahead.
“Kame.”
The other turned his head when he called his name. Suddenly a hand touched his cheek and brushed over a bruise close to his right eye. He winced though it didn't hurt.
Kame looked worried and inspected his whole face in the dim light. His soft hand brushed against his right cheek, his chin and back to his forehead, his left cheek and then his lips.
He couldn't keep his eyes away from the pair of worried eyes in front of him. Only at night would Kame be so gentle with him, smile at him, touch him.
His hands reached out for Kame's face and gently he placed his lips on Kame's in a soft kiss.
Okinawa, 7/22
Their Arena Tour was starting which meant that they would travel a lot again. He felt insecure every time they stayed in a hotel.
He ended up with Jin in a room again.
He felt uncomfortable being with the other in a room alone. After taking a shower he quickly went to bed and didn't wait until Jin went to bed as well.
He fell asleep after a few minutes.
He woke up the next morning with a jacket wrapped around his shoulders which smelled like Jin and a weird sensation on his lips.
Okinawa, 7/23
He talked with Ueda before the concert.
“Jin would never take advantage of you. He isn't like that,” Ueda assured him but he didn't need the assurance because he knew that Jin wasn't such a person.
“I'm truly scared because I don't know what happens at night. You don't know what it feels like to wake up the next morning with a stranger’s jacket wrapped around you.”
“First of all Jin isn't a stranger.”
“I know but it’s still weird.”
Ueda patted his shoulder to comfort him but it didn't work.
“The day he showed up covered in bruises … I think it was my fault,” he murmured quietly but Ueda heard him anyway.
“I have an idea.”
~♥~
He stayed awake that night and when it was 3am he got up and left the room. He headed into the garden in the back of the hotel and sat down on a bench.
He tried to count the stars in the sky but soon lost track of which he had already counted.
In that moment someone sat down next to him. When he turned around he saw Jin there. His heart skipped a beat but he tried to look indifferent.
“The night sky today is very clear,” the other said after a few minutes of silence.
He didn't reply but stared at the sky as well.
They sat there for a while in comfortable silence before Jin took his hand and pulled him up.
“Let's go back,” Jin said with a smiling face and he followed him silently, not letting go of the hand.
Sendai, 8/1
He decided to stay awake that night again. Around 3am, he suddenly heard how Jin got up from his bed and left the room. He waited for a few minutes before he followed him.
He looked around the lobby but there was no one so he went to the garden in the back. There he saw Jin lying in the grass and staring at the sky.
When the other noticed him, he smiled and stretched out a hand.
“Come and lie down next to me.”
He did as he was told though he hesitated for a moment and lied down next to Jin. He was a bit afraid of what Jin was going to do to him.
“Why is it that only at night we can be so comfortable with each other?” the other asked.
He didn't answer but kept staring at the sky. Minutes later he suddenly felt a hand grabbing his.
Sendai, 8/2
He left the room again a few minutes after Jin left. He was at the same spot as the day before and again he stretched out a hand and invited him to lie next to him.
The other didn't say much but it was more than he usually said to him.
Jin's hand found his while they were lying there and he didn't make a move to pull it away. He felt Jin's finger caressing his hand gently.
Suddenly the other propped himself up on his arm and looked at him with an intense look. He tried to look indifferent but it was difficult when he felt the other stare at him.
“Do you mind if I kiss you?”
He looked at the other surprised but didn't do anything that indicated that he didn't want to. He didn't push the other away either when Jin leaned over his lying figure to place a soft kiss on his lips.
“Why do I only have the courage to do this at night?”
Kame looked back into the other's eyes before Jin's lips were on his again.
Hiroshima, 8/8
Jin never mentioned their nightly meetings or the kiss. He never noticed those secret smiles and touches before but now he was aware of every time Jin would brush coincidentally against him. And every time he would feel his heart skipping a beat.
He didn't know what to do anymore.
At 4am, he found himself lying next to Jin on the grass again, staring at the clouded sky.
And before he knew it, rain suddenly started to pour down on them. He wanted to stand up and leave but his body was unable to. So he lied there while Jin got up and held a hand out to help him up.
But he didn't take it. Instead he stood up and faced the crying sky. The rain soaked his whole clothes down to his shoes but he couldn't bring himself to care. He could only stand in the rain and feel every raindrop splashing against his skin. It felt as if the rain was washing away all of his worries.
After a few minutes, the rain stopped falling on him but he could still hear it. He opened his eyes and saw Jin in front of him, shielding the both of them with his jacket. He had such a kind smile he felt like leaning closer and capturing those lips.
But Jin was faster and was already pressing his lips firmly against his.
Hiroshima, 8/9
He couldn't decide what to do with their nightly meetings. He enjoyed them because he could allow himself to do things he could never do at day. But it wasn't enough for him anymore.
He didn't know either what Jin was thinking in his head. He just couldn't understand it.
That night, they again lied next to each other on the grass. He was determined to say something this time but as he lied there, words weren’t able to leave his mouth.
He noticed how Jin turned to lie on his side to look at him.
“Do you ever remember anything of this night when you wake up the next morning?” Jin asked causing him to turn to him. “Do you remember when I kiss you?”
Jin leaned over him and planted a short but sweet kiss on his lips. When he opened his eyes again Jin was still hovering over his body.
“I still don't know if you would mind if I do this to you during the day.”
He wanted to reply to the other but his mouth couldn't utter a word. Instead he wrapped his arms around Jin's neck to pull him down for a kiss. He hoped the other could understand him without words.
Fukuoka, 8/12
He noticed Jin's longing stare sometimes when they went through rehearsal. But he acted as if he didn't notice. Whenever Jin tried to be close to him he would find an excuse to go somewhere else, somewhere far away from Jin.
He couldn't control himself in Jin's presence. He didn't know what Jin knew but Jin was thinking that he didn't remember anything about their nightly meetings. And he didn't know if he wanted him to know the truth.
If Jin liked him in any way why wasn't he approaching him during the day when he could be sure that he was fully himself?
But he couldn't stay away either so he would always find himself lying next to Jin in the middle of the night again.
Jin wasn't hesitant about kissing him anymore. He was always above him after a few minutes of silence and would kiss him countless times. He enjoyed those kisses but he didn't know if he would still have the courage at day.
Suddenly, he felt a hand slipping under his shirt caressing his skin. Out of reflex he broke the kiss and pushed the other slightly away. The hand stopped and he opened his eyes to meet Jin's eyes. Something must have shown in his eyes because in the next moment Jin pulled his hand away from under his shirt and caressed his cheek.
“I don't know how much longer I can hold back,” the other confessed. “Why will you only look at me at night? Why won't you look at me in the light when I'm standing right in front of you?”
He wanted to say how much he wanted this as well, but he still couldn’t bring himself to voice out his thoughts. He could only watch Jin stand up and leave.
Fukuoka, 8/13
That night, he waited for 3 hours for Jin but he didn't show up. When he returned to their room the other was fast asleep on his bed.
As he lied on his bed, he realized that he just ruined everything. He thought that being close to the other at night was enough but truthfully, it wasn't. He didn't have the courage to confess to Jin either. He wasn't brave enough for that.
Niigata, 8/15
He knew it was hopeless but he couldn't do anything but wait at night for Jin to come. Staying up every night was slowly wearing him out but he couldn't sleep either. Not when there was still a chance that Jin might show up.
But as the hours went by the other didn't appear and he went back to their room.
Niigata, 8/16
He was lying on his bed with his eyes closed but still awake. He listened to the other's steady breathing to sooth himself to sleep. A few hours later, as always, Kame got up from his bed and left the room. He waited for a few minutes before he followed him.
From a distance he watched how Kame lied down on the grass and stared at the sky. He remembered how he was once lying beside the other, holding his hand, kissing him. But he went too far and now he lost his chance.
He knew Kame was sleepwalking and didn't remember anything about his nightly trips outside. And he was the coward who took advantage of this to satisfy his desire.
But he couldn't help but feel attracted to the other. He wanted to hold him, kiss him, touch him but he could never say that directly. He could only do that at night.
He watched the lone figure for hours before he turned around to walk back to their room.
Hokkaido, 8/22
He was following Kame again when the other left the room in the middle of the night. He held a good distance from Kame so that he wouldn't be noticed by the other.
Kame left the hotel and walked a while. He didn't go to the garden or a bench but kept on walking. He was a bit worried but continued following the other.
They had walked for more than ten minutes when he noticed a traffic light a few meters in front of them. He saw how Kame kept on walking towards the street and without hesitation he ran towards him and grabbed his arm before he was at the traffic light.
Kame turned around surprised but he was even more confused when he saw Jin holding his arm.
“Let's go back Kame,” he said. “It's too dangerous for you.”
He missed how the other's eyes widened and he turned around to walk back, his hand holding Kame's in a tight hold.
Before they went in the hotel, Jin stopped and turned around to face Kame.
“I love you,” he confessed. “But I'm a coward. I can only say this to the sleeping you. I heard that when people sleepwalk they might remember these moments as dreams. I know you don't remember any of this when you wake up because I tried so often to get a sign that you remember. But the way you behaved I understood that you don't.”
He took a step closer to Kame and held his face with his hand.
“Tomorrow, I will gather all my courage and confess to you at day. But I'm afraid of your reaction. I just hope that you won't push me away.”
He kissed him one last time before they went back to the hotel.
Hokkaido, 8/23
He tried to confess his feelings to Kame like how he promised to but at the end he couldn't find the right moment. They were already on the bus back to the hotel and it was his last chance.
He waited until Kame finished showering.
“Kame. Can we talk?” he asked when the other exited the bathroom.
Kame sat down on his bed and looked at him expectantly.
“I ...” He tried to gulp down the knot in his throat but the knot didn't go away. “I ...”
Kame was waiting for him to say something but nothing came out of his throat. Jin was too afraid of Kame's reaction. He was a coward after all.
He got up, rushed to the bathroom and locked himself inside it. He splashed cold water into his face and took a deep breath but nothing could slow down his raging heartbeat.
By the time he returned to the room, Kame was already lying in bed.
He took his jacket and left the room.
He sat down on a bench in the garden and stared at the sky. He hated himself for being such a coward. For not being able to confess his true feelings.
He sat there for almost an hour before a figure sat down next to him. When he glanced at his side, he noticed that it was Kame.
They sat there in silence for a short while before he spoke.
“I'm sorry. I wasn't able to do it.”
He looked down to his hands, eyes not meeting Kame's.
“I don't want this to be a dream anymore.”
Jin shot his head up and looked at the other surprised. Kame never said anything during their meetings before.
“I don't want to remember the times when you held my hand, when you kissed me under the rain, when you held me as dreams.”
“Kame ...”
Kame turned his head and looked at him sternly.
“I was a coward as well but I don't want this to be a dream anymore.”
Jin looked at the other confused.
“I love you.”
Kame leaned closer to Jin until their lips touched. Kame knew that it wasn’t a dream anymore when he felt Jin’s arms wrap around his waist.
******
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