watch the tags jonskulainen. watch the tags. You'll see traces of mblaq everywhereee.

[bigmow]

So, here I am, with yet another entry.

Little has changed since the last time I wrote though.
I'm starting to feel like I'm just over-emotional. And I know people agree.

January is the worst month of the year. It's really snowy and the cold is not fun anymore. And it's the time of the year where dad and his girlfriend starts going on a diet. They

Comments

[czarny]

Why does it hurt being a fangirl??

[bigmow]

Because I get so obsessed with all my favorite idols I get affected when people say mean stuff about them. (especially people I care of) and then, since I like to complicate it, I get angry with myself for being affected by something so stupid.
And then it just spins around in a little circle of goo.

And it's all usually solved by some moments of thoughts, a bit of ice cream and then I don't think about it for the next like.. 3 months or so.
but I have no ice cream. and I think the carrots are starting to get to my head. I wonder if I'll wake up orange tomorrow. It's a scary thought.

[bigmow]

AND SINCE THERE'S THE ADORATION MEME. OF COURSE I NEED TO TELL YOU JUST HOW AWESOME YOU ARE. (almost forgot. omg -gasp- how could I. ;_; maybe this is proof that I have no clue about what I write in my posts shhh did not say that

[rori_line]

awww, tell your dad and his girlfriend to buy you some new ice cream,
they oooooooooooowe you since it was your ice cream they threw away D :
Fangirling sucks sometimes. cheeeeeeer up! <3

[bigmow]

he better. -mopes- Hopefully he just hid it carefully!! -prays-

AND THANK YOU VALHUN ♥
I'LL SEND YOU MY COMMENT OF ADMIRATION IN LIKE A SEC. (I always write a sex. HAHAHA so stupid. It's like mblaw)

[bigmow]

I just recently got to know you, but I'm already starting to love your awesomeness. ♥
I love how fun you are. While talking to you I either feel good because our conversation makes me happy, or because I'm spazzing so much about how cute you are. Your voice is adorable. And your rapping is made of awesome.

I admire the good relationship you have with your sister. You two are great together. haha.
I love you for being yet another swedish fangirl who I can actually become friends with. (I've met a couple that didn't make me feel very nice. aka mean ones XD)
Thank you for putting up with all our spazzing. HAHA. You actually don't ignore mine and olivs spazzing, like most people do. and I would love to get to know more about your favorite groups and all that, becuase they seem awesome.

I hope we can get to meet some day, because I think we'd have a lot of fun together! ♥

[seagull_life]

I know how you feel, the whole "it's hurts to be a fangirl" part, ugh, I even thought about "quiting" because once! like ugh, fandom >< why do you both love and hate it!? >< *hugs*

[seagull_life]

and now my english sucks "I even thought about "quiting" because once! ", BECAUSE ONCE, what the hell, okay XD I think you got ... the whole point of it XD

but *hugs again*

[bigmow]

yeaah, I think we all have these moments. :/
But. I'll still continue this fandom, cause I really can't live without it.

AND HANNAAAA ♥♥
COMMENT OF ADMIRATION WILL COME VERY SOON.

[seagull_life]

Yeah, because m without SNSD ... is nothing, okay not really, but fandoms, why do you make me love you so much!? ><

and OKAY ♥♥♥♥♥♥ : DDD

[imheartsick]

I kinda think this has to do with me right?
And I'm sorry ♥
I didn't want you to get upset. I was just trying to see if it was real for one second or not.

And I do know how hard it is to be a fangirl sometimes. Like when you really fall in love.
That's why I told you that it would be rough for you. Specially since Joon is so much loved as he is.

I would've run over to your house with ice cream and give you one of those "i'm really sorry"-hugs.
But I can't. And that hurts inside.
It hurts even more the fact that I made you sad. I was the one saying that I would never make you sad. I failed.

Off to the other thing.
YOU WERE UP TO 5AM? ;____; I didn't know that~
If I'd known I would've stayed online on msn and stuff. So if you would've signed in then I would totally be there at that time.
I think that sentence became packed with grammar-fail. But yeah 8'D;

I'm sorry Joffs~

[bigmow]

well, it's not your fault that I get sad over stupid things.
All you did was point out your opinion and you should say whatever you like because you're my best friend that's the freedom I think you should have with me.

and I really feel it. like alot. Everyone loves Joon. and it's not like I should become one of those "oooh, he's mineee~" people. But sometimes I'm still sad inside. Because I feel like whenever I feel something, and think he's adorable or whatever, or get sad over something like this, there's will be a whole bunch of joon fangirls looking down on me, who already felt this feelings and are way more awesome than I am and blablabla. it just goes on and on.

and olivs. Please continue be the awesome person you are?
Don't worry about making me sad or whatever. Cause even if you do, you're still the one who's there for me when I am. So please, don't think this is your fault. Okay!
I love you ♥

yesss. I fell asleep around 5. I wrote some stuff in my diary and then I just kind of.. stared. Until I decided I should sleep.

[imheartsick]

But it's still my fault.
And I should know stuff like this since sometimes I become emo over these things too. *sigh*

No one will look down on you. They'll share the pain with you.
At least the wise ones. Rest of the pack should you just ignore ♥
But I get what you're saying. That's like me when I couldn't sleep around 7.30am. I was laying next to Thea thinking about how many fangirls that can see Mir irl few times a week (or something) and how it hurts to be stuck here, not being able to cheer him on or anything. That he doesn't even know that I'm alive. That maybe he wouldn't even care even if he knew. i'm making Mir look like a bad guy now ;__; *hits myself*

I will always be here for you.
And if I make you sad. Please tell me ;___; So I can do something about it.
I love you too ♥

Ohh.. Like me then... Although I don't have the diary here HAHAH.

[bigmow]

I love you so much Olivs

[notochrasy]

why does it hurt so much being a fangirl sometimes? idgi.

I totally understand you.
And what is worse is that people who don't fangirl will NEVER understand ;____;
like, when I was on hiatus over the christmas-new years break, I found out about the Geng law suits kinda late. and I was really sad and weepy and my dad and cousin were like "wtf, does this even concern you? i mean it's just a guy from a band" uggggh.

your dad should've at least asked you about your candy & ice cream before throwing it away D:

and and and
don't feel hurt ;____; we all love you <33

and gloomy mir is gloomy. but still ridiculously cute.

[bigmow]

oh god yes. no one in my family gets it. okay. maybe my sister, but I don't think she really would either. Maybe when she gets a bit older, but not right now. :/
It's good that we all have each other though! Because you all make me very happy ♥

and ah. hopefully he just put them somewhere where I can't find them. I srsly looked all over the place. ;_;
But.. it was new ice cream. and yesterday, I even saw blueberry pie! and now I can't find it. ;_; I'll just have to ask him tomorrow.

I love you tooo ♥ and I'll do the whole admiration thingy like in a sec, because I need to answer all the comments properly first. BUT I'LL TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU LIKE SOON OKAYS.

and yes. He manages to look cute with whatever he does. ;_; ♥

[bigmow]

I love you kim ♥
You're one of the wisest people I know, you know all these mindbogglingly hard words that I know nothing about, and you always have a reasonable opinion that manages to bring me back to earth again. (if I was ever floating around somewhere in panic or despair this is a very awesome feature. Plz, tell me, do you come one cans? It would be like "DRINK KIM. SHE BRINGS YOU BACK TO EARTH". can you see how awesome that would be?)

To me, you're this kind of person who cares for the people around you, your friends and your favorite idols. you have a really big heart and I admire how you can always cheer me up by just talking to me, even though you might not always know this.

Also, I think you're really really pretty. And I adore your voice, and the way you talk, both irl and online. I love that you can be both sophisticated and a fangirl at the same time. ♥
Thank you for being such a wonderful person, Kim. -huggles-