What I'm imagining is that, in the sense of our functioning w/r/t the natural world, we have a rate of production of awareness. Like, we can "be aware" 100 times/second, say. This is a shitty shit model, but go with me for a second.

Usually, when I'm just going about my day, I am making a rather split-second decision about how to alot my 100 ( Read more... )

I have wondered, before, about the speed of time. I think that this is a natural wonder for anyone who has ingested psychadelic substances, but even for those of you who have not, think about how time seems to linger when things are boring, when things are exciting, etc.

Time's apparent rate of passage seems to indicate the relative attention paid ( Read more... )

Behind a cloud
Is a clay world
Which we may not touch.

I (we all) have issues with the scale of things.

"You are the light and the way that they'll only read about"

The Little Things

Did you know (?) that it actually causes me distress when Jen eats the food that we've bought at the supermarket? The thought "great, now we have less food" actually goes through my mind. The thought is small, of course, but ( Read more... )

There's a pressure
I feel a pressure or
Perhaps delude myself that there exists
A pressure.

Was I ever lighthearted?

I suppose that I pose change in terms of a loss.
I feel such a weight, now, so I've lost my lightness.
But perhaps I have just gained a weight.

Weights

The inescapable conclusion that No One Gives a Fuck what I have to say. 
Social obligation ( Read more... )

I have a job, now.
I quit smoking.
I went for a bikeride.

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I feel like something's missing.
I don't know what it is.

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I feel as if I lack abstract thoughts, these days. 
Life is very concrete.
Concerns, conditions, solutions.
Every piece has a place, every place a piece.

 Oh god. I typed that last message while my desktop-sharing software was still activated. I wonder if they saw.

It wouldn't be -so- bad if they did. I just showed my excitement (if in a strange way).

Boo. 

Success!
God, that was easy. I did the task that was supposed to take 45 minutes in like 20.

I am so sexy. 
Oh yeah.
All up in my booty.

My face is so big and puffy
Drippy white corpse eyes
Blah!

God, I am so nervous about this interview (at 3 pm). It is so nerve-wracking. So nerves! Blah! Bah! Beh!

Face face beh.

Best!

I worry sometimes is the wind going to
turn.